Today’s meditation was probably about five minutes long, but I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it so I’m not entirely sure just how long it lasted. I’ve been really tired today and even after two naps, I’m still feeling a bit groggy and fuzzy. This is something you have definitely noticed and I just want to say it again… it isn’t anything to do with you. That’s all. I’ve not missed any dosages of my meds and you haven’t done anything that would cause me to avoid you. I’m spacey and fuzzy brained.
I will give meditation another try before bed tonight, although I will probably fall asleep during that one too.
Two things stand out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today. The first is the fact that she has one of her eyes bandaged. This speaks to me of the nature of perfection. In my experience, perfection cannot exist without the existence of a flaw of some sort. As this card is a representation of completion and fulfillment, it feels only right that there should be a “fly in the ointment” to create that perfect finish.
The second thing that drew my attention in this card today is the glowing cross in the angel’s hands. This cross is stunted in its length, which in turn reminds me more of the circle of the elements and seasons. The lines of the cross in this incarnation indicates the four directions, and the spaces between each of these lines represent the seasons. In this way, the cross in this card feels today as if it represents the “everything” concept, bringing in all things and all time together as one.
The message here is in accepting the flaws that make a life perfect. Perfection exists, but only in the fact that it is the imperfections that make perfection what it is. When looking at your life, do not focus only on the struggles and strife, but consider them the sprinkling of pepper that seasons the delicious dish that is your life as a whole.
DECK USED: COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE
#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: What is inherently toxic about the way I currently evaluate my worth?
Reading Summary: There’s no patience or understanding (Temperance Rx) and no joy (The Sun Rx), only a clusterfuck of bad choices (imagery in the Seven of Chalices) and the constant push for more (imagery in the Three of Pentacles).
Take Away: The toxicity in how I evaluate my worth has to do with the fact that instead of being kind and understanding with myself, whenever I make a mistake or a bad choice my inner critic jumps at the chance to rip me a new one and tear me down. This combined with that constant pushing for more and better combine to create an extremely toxic inner dialogue. The cards indicate this could be turned around by allowing more kindness and patience into the equation, and more positivity into that inner dialogue.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT
#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Current Challenge / Potential Resolution
Current Challenge – Nine of Swords – Negative self talk and a destructive inner dialogue are causing a bit of overwhelm. This is part of the reason I decided to take some time off. Yes, this creates a different type of criticism to take place as guilt over taking time for myself screws with my head a bit… but at the same time? I can feel the relief that allow myself some time away from the pressure has already given me. I don’t have to go back to work until Wednesday, and it’s a wonderful bit of a break.
Potential Resolution – The Empress and Ace of Wands – Take this time to pamper yourself and give yourself some nurturing and comfort while you explore creative ideas and interests. There’s a lot of fun to be had in that exploration if you let yourself just enjoy it and treat yourself with nurturing understanding instead of that normal slave driver mentality you usually approach yourself with.
DECK USED: ANIMISM TAROT
#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: you // me // us
You – The World – The end all, be all of everything. You are the end of the road and culmination of all that has come before, as well as the future that is spread out before me.
Me – Mystic of Candles – I light the fire of passion and am the driving force. I kindle the spark of passion and interest and even obsession between us, and you are the moth to my flame.
Us – The Sun – Pure joy and happiness.
DECK USED: NUMINOUS TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: From where do I get my best ideas?
Reading Summary: Times of struggle and strife, defeat and destruction (Ten of Swords and The Tower) drive me forward and kindle my inner spark where my creativity lives, while the need to share with the world (as well as be seen as) more than these things emboldens me to take these ideas forward and share them with others (Six of Wands).
Take Away: The cards here indicate that my best creative ideas are sourced by a combination of the kindled spark of “fight” within me created by the struggles I’ve gone through, and the need to share something beautiful with the world so that others do not look at live (or me) through eyes that see only the struggles dealt. I want others to see and experience beauty and good things… I want to share that with them, and have that beauty I share, in turn, associated with me.