Choosing Freedom

Today’s meditation was skipped because I chose to oversleep and then had to scramble to get my ass up and moving in order to get everything done that I need to get done today.  I will try to do it before bed tonight, and then get back on track with morning meditations starting tomorrow.

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle - Ten of FireToday’s draw is the Ten of Fire (Ten of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of burden and overwhelm of responsibilities or obligations.   It is a card filled with feelings of hard work that have turned into drudgery.

I actually do not see any of that in this card’s imagery, or really in the key words either, for that matter.  In fact, what I see in the imagery of this card has more to do with release and freedom. This is depicted twofold in this card’s imagery.   First, through the releasing of the birds to find their flight and freedom in the sky.  And second, in releasing the birds, the woman in the card is also released from the responsibility of caring for them and thus free of her burden of responsibility.

The message in this card is an encouragement to release some of my own burdens, and this is something that I’ve actually made the decision to do and, in fact, have already put in motion the process of doing.   I’m taking a week off from the business.  I’ll still be working at the farm and the salon, but I will not allow either of them to increase my hours during this week either.     I need to step back and take some breaths of fresh air away from the constant cycle of work that the business creates.

I need a break, and I’m going to allow myself to take it.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question
: Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention? How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist?

Midcenturian Tarot

Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention?Three of Wands beneath The Chariot – You’re already on this path. You have direction and control in this moment over these issues and your therapist has given you the tools needed to prepare you as you move forward along your path.

How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist?Two of Pentacles and Two of Swords – When you have need of your therapist’s help, you need to weigh your options and make a choice to do something about it instead of hanging back and waffling.

Take Away: Yes. Sometimes I need help with my self esteem issues.

Depression, which is my mental health issue predilection, is said to be hatred turned upon the self, and this is true in my personal experience.  Not that self hatred turned on the self creates depression, but that depression creates the cycle that turns hatred inward on yourself. At these times, I do need professional help.

Sometimes?  The depression sneaks up on me at a slow creep, and while I have an inkling of an idea that it’s coming or even has arrived, I waffle on getting help too long and slide into a deep pit of a depressive episode as a result.   A better choice is to not waffle, but call right away as soon as the first hint of what’s coming is noticed.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  Act on This / Let this Rest

Veleda Woods TarotAct On ThisFive of Cups – Work at letting go of your apathy and inner dissonance. Do not allow yourself to sink into these feelings, as they are not good for you and will hinder your path forward.  Instead, focus on rising above and finding the “sunlight through the clouds”.  There’s just as much good in the world as there is bad, so turn your attention from the “broken stems” in life and look for the good instead.

Let This RestHarvester of Swords Rx and The Devil – It’s time to lay off  a bit on shopping for your addiction. You have lots of preorders and kickstarters coming over the next few months, as well as orders that have not yet come in due to shipping delays. This does not necessarily mean cutting yourself off entirely as that would create a sense of deprivation and resentment, but it’s time to ease back for a bit.

DECK USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
within // without

Student Tarot 4 Godard's BirdsWithinWheel of Fortune – You need to focus on being centered and more adaptable.  Don’t allow inner chaos to take hold and run rampant.  Do what you need to in order to keep yourself balanced and centered.

WithoutEmpress and The Lovers – Take time to appreciate all of the nurturing and love that you receive from others, and most especially from Gideon.  There is a great deal of love in your life, directed at you every single day in so many different ways.  Don’t take this for granted, but instead accept that love and nurturing care, and enjoy it rather than ignoring it or disregarding.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What moment from today do I feel is memorable?

Women of Science Tarot

Reading Summary: My decision (Five of Micro) to do something different (The World) and prioritize my inner knowledge and needs above my outer ones (The High Priestess).

Side Note:  The interpretation of these three cards is based off the imagery on the cards rather than their tarot meanings. In some cases, there is some overlap, especially in the third card… I just wanted to point out that in this case I wasn’t paying attention to the suits and traditional meanings.

Take Away:  I mentioned this in my COTD analysis, but I made the decision today that even though I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to put my shops / business on hold for a week and just take some time away from it to get a little distance and perspective. This is an extremely difficult decision for me, but I’ve already put everything in place and my “vacation” will start tomorrow after I’ve dropped off all my packages at the post office.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_6433Empowerment

It takes
bravery
to try new things,
to open up
and spread your wings.
If it looks easy
don’t be fooled
I struggle
just as much
as him
or you.

I was told this morning that I make things look easy.  I was talking with my boss, leaning against the fence taking a break after teaching his son how to do a carburetor adjustment on the tractor, and he came out with it as we were talking.  “You make things look so easy, and I know they aren’t.  But watching you, it seems like you could do anything.”   Those were his words to me.

I was surprised, and deeply complimented as well… but definitely surprised.  I have a lot of skills, but I worked hard to learn and hone those skills.  They weren’t just magically bestowed upon me, but were developed through hard work and, at times, a lot of struggle. I’m not sure why the fact all that struggle and work not being obvious feels like a compliment… but it does.

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