Month: April 2020

Accepting Help

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IMG_3695Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and focused upon a full body scan where the guide took the attention through each muscle of the body instead of each part of the body.

I’m a big fan of this sort of meditation, and I like the specificity of doing the body scan from muscle to muscle rather than body part to body part, but I feel that if we are going to do it muscle by muscle, it needs to be a longer meditation.

I don’t feel I get enough time focusing on moving my breath through each muscle when they try to cram the whole body into a twelve minute session.   This could easily be stretched into a good thirty or forty minutes and I probably would have still enjoyed it immensely.

Five of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Oak (Five of Pentacles) which is a representation of tests, trials, and struggles in the area of finance, health, resources, and the hearth and home.  This often translates into themes concerning scarcity issues, financial losses and/or poverty, as well as all of the worries and sense of isolation that can accompany these themes.

What really stands out to me today in this card is the mice and the honeycomb.  Although the badger child hoards his honeycomb, there is enough to go around for all to partake.  Sometimes when you’re in need, it’s hard to look up from your struggles to see where a helping hand may lie.  These rats have chosen to look up and although the badger child wishes to keep all that goodness to themselves, they share regardless.

The message here is that reluctant charity is still charity, and we all need a bit of charity now and then.  Don’t ignore what’s being offered just because it’s coming from someone or somewhere you’d usually reject out of principle.  This message fits in very well with some issues that happened today concerning my building and the need to take a run to the hardware store for supplies with… what is arguably one of the most difficult residents in our building.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Current state of my relationship with my community.

Shadowland Tarot

Reading Summary:   Feeling a bit overwhelmed (Ten of Wands) but still standing strong (King of Wands) while I worry about transitions and changes (Six of Swords).

Take Away:  I think that everyone is worried about the current changes going on in society and where we are going from here. At the moment, like so many others, I am a bit overwhelmed by these worries and hit’s causing a bit of a struggle concerning action related to my passions and drive as I work to support others through this difficult time.

DECK USED:  SHADOWLAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest source of emotional strength?

New Liminal TarotReading Summary: When I’m feeling chaotic and defensive (Seven of Wands), taking some time to rest and reevaluate (Four of Swords) allows me to find balance once more (King of Swords).

Take Away:  These cards indicate that my emotional strength at this time lies in my ability to keep myself from picking at negative thoughts and being unkind to myself. A lot of times when I sense my own vulnerability, I will react by attacking, but the cards indicate that for true emotional strength, I need to see these moments as a time to reassess and find balance rather than allowing myself to fall into bad habits.

DECK USED:  NEW LIMINAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Am I confident in naming my boundaries?

Pastel Waite Smith Tarot

Reading Summary:  Absolutely (Strength).  Especially boundaries having to deal with emotional connections with others (King of Cups) and boundaries that deal with the  stability and security of hearth and home (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: My responsibilities are an extremely important part of my life and so it’s not surprising that it would come up that naming and standing by boundaries concerning my responsibilities to stability and security came up as somewhere I have a good deal of strength.  With my heart and soul very much belonging to you, it is also no surprise that I have absolutely no issue with setting boundaries where my emotions are concerned.

What is not included here is also interesting, as there is a lack of Swords and Wands, indicating that I have difficulty in enforcing mental boundaries and boundaries that have to do with my drive and ambitions.  This is also very fitting as it is where I am less apt to set boundaries for myself especially, but others as well. 

DECK USED:  PASTEL WAITE SMITH TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I deepen my spiritual practice?

New Liminal Tarot

Reading Summary: If I want to move forward into a new connection (Ten of Swords), I need to take my time because trying to move too fast (Eight of Wands) is creating issues (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  I recently had another reading with a similar question that indicated much the same thing as this.  I’m creating my own road blocks by overloading myself in different ways due to a feeling of uncertainty about how to move forward.  If I want to deepen my spiritual practice and that connection with my spirit guides, I’m going to need to let go of that trepidation and the subconscious methods of aversion that it’s creating.

DECK USED:  NEW LIMINAL TAROT

Sharing and Discretion

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IMG_3683Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon a spreading kindness practice where the guide takes you through a moment of reflection to get you to open up and relax before then guiding you to opening up your heart and spirit to direct loving kindness first to yourself, and then to another that you may have felt a bit of envy towards.

Everyone feels a twinge of envy now and then, and I think that’s pretty healthy.   This practice is meant to help in learning how to turn that sense of envy into a feeling of mudita, or unselfish good will and joy for that other person.

Six of Flame - Six of Wands - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Six of Flame (Six of Wands) which traditionally is a representation of harmony and growth in the area of one’s drive and ambitions.  This often translates into themes of victory and public recognition.

This is not what I see in the imagery of today’s card, though.  Instead, what stands out to me in this card is the posture of the wolf boy as he appears to actually slink through the night rather than standing tall.   The wolf is a majestic animal, proud but shy.  What I see here is the public perception rather than the truth of the inner spirit.

The question I see today in this card is… What perception are you putting forth that others are picking up on and creating a misconception about?

The message here is about making sure I am watching how I say things and what I share with others.  I’m very open here on my blog.  I also share large parts of those posts with our little Discord community, and the message here might very well have to do with our recently returned poet. It’s possible I need to consider a bit more discretion concerning what I take from here to share over there.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I use this opportunity to take back control? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Rabbit Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to focus upon the transition taking place (Six of Carrots) and not allow plans for the future (Two of Sticks) to cause this opportunity for growth to slip through my fingers (Seven of Carrots).

Take Away:  Such cute bunnies.  Just sayin’. This is a reiteration of the reading done previously on this topic (yesterday).   It’s about not adding so much to my plate that it creates a distraction that pulls me away from the spiritual growth and potential connections with spirit that are under development.  It’s about making sure I don’t create a self-sabotage caused by my sense of uncertainty during this time of change.

DECK USED:  BUNNY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where does my self-worth come from?

Cry Baby TarotReading Summary: Even during difficult times (Three of Swords) I am able to adapt (Page of Pentacles) and keep my stability in place (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The presence of the pentacles in these cards are an indication of the stability and security that I am able focus on and sustain even during times when difficulties and emotional strife arises.  Instead of allowing things to fall apart, learn as I go and adapt to keep that stable foundation secure.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How confident am I to make decisions?

Marshmallow Marseilles Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes I seek council from others (King of Cups) to find the most sustainable path forward (Seven of Pentacles), but I’m not afraid to discard what isn’t working (Eight of Cups) for the sake of finding something better (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Very.   The King of Cups in this spread is Gideon, and what is indicated here is that although I  reach out to Gideon for perspectives besides my own, I have no problem doing what needs to be done to better a situation by making my own decisions once I feel that I have all the facts and perspectives I need.

DECK USED:  MARSHMALLOW MARSEILLE TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with spirit? How can I improve it?

Cry Baby TarotMy Relationship With Spirit:  I’m not open enough.  I’m willing to seek the connection I want but inside I still am feeling caution and a lack of trust.  This is creating unnecessary boundaries.

How To Improve That Relationship:  My guides are waiting in the wings (Five of Cups) but I need to get out of my own head (King of Swords) and trust on my inner strength to sustain me (Strength) and keep me from erecting those boundaries (Nine of Wands again).

Take Away:  Trepidation is getting in my way and I need to have more trust in myself and in my inner voice.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – King of Wands, Widower, Master – The combination of the widower and the master indicate that in order to move forward with my drive with my business and finances I need to step away from the emotional aspects of money and business a bit and keep a stable and practical mindset on these topics this week.  This means no emotional spending and keeping a practical eye on my finances and where my money is going. (ie: Buy the supply of chain for the business, and not the pretty deck that will make me feel all happy and giddy to have in my hands.)

Air – Ace of Pentacles and Thoughts – Don’t get so lost in your thoughts that you miss a rising opportunity.  It’s easy to get so deep into your head that the world outside of your mind gets its volume turned way down.  This week you need to make sure you’re paying attention.

Water – Eight of Cups, Sorrow, Gift – There is a risk this week of looking gift horse in the mouth, and walking away from something prematurely as a result.  Build off the concept of not getting lost in your thought mentioned above, make sure that you are paying attention and squeezing ever last drop of juice out of situations that can be to your advantage. And don’t throw out the rind, either.

Fire – King of Pentacles, Soldier, Longing – It’s okay to wish for better times, but don’t let those wishes distract you from your goals.  Stability and security take a balance between defending what’s yours and going after what you want.  Focus on keeping those aspects in balance this week.

Waning – Tapas (Zeal) – It’s time to start examining things that are not currently serving you. Like all migrations, these elements can be brought back into your life later when they are of use again, but at the moment they are just added baggage that doesn’t need to be carried.

Waxing – Asana (Physical Postures) and Vrkshasana (Tree Pose) –  Take some time to connect with nature and ground deeply.  You need this for balance and calm.  Make the time to do this, even if it means reaching beyond your norm to get it done.

Take Away – Practicality is the theme of the week this week, along with ensuring that I am paying attention to my surroundings and possible opportunities to shed old baggage in order to free up space for more useful elements to grow and flourish.  There is also a need to spend some time connecting with the earth, even if that is through extra time at the farm.  It’s possible I could ask to stick around after my shift for a bit just to get a meditation in on some bare earth.  I’ll have to ask them about it and see what they say.

DECKS USED: WHITE SAGE TAROT, LAND SKY ORACLE, VYKLADACI KARTY (LITTLE CZECH ORACLE)

A Bit of Wallowing is Okay

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IMG_3717Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and was not a guided meditation.  Instead I did one of my pain management techniques.  Because I haven’t been able to go in for treatment by the specialist over the past few weeks, I have a few issues cropping up concerning my pain and, subsequently, my flexibility.

This technique is a meditation based upon the breath, and centered upon gentle stretching during that focus.   As you breathe in a slow deep breath, you visualize the air slipping through your nose and down your throat, traveling through your body like swirls of smoke to seek out a specific place of pain and tension.

That visualization of air is then seen swirling within that body part, filling it up and dispersing through the pain as you hold the breath for a pause.  A beat of two or three seconds.  You then exhale and visualize that swirling air carrying pain and tension out of the afflicted area, up through your body, and out through your nose.  You then wait a beat of two or three seconds to savor the peace and stillness before repeating again.

It is peaceful, and it helps.  Is it perfect?  No.  But sometimes it really boils down to the little things and every little bit helps.

The Star Card - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is The Star card of the Major Arcana, which is traditionally a card representing hope and renewal of faith.

What I see in this card’s imagery is more than hope but comfort.  In the imagery, the sea-otter boy lingers among the bounty of a tide pool, and surrounded among these creatures it has all that it needs.  Land and sea, food and much more.  Everything is looking up in the world for the otterboy.

What came into my mind when I saw this happy otter was that the twilight of joy comes with a moment of uncertainty… followed by the sun.  A phrase that stretches the span of not just the Star card, but also the Moon card and the Sun card.

Today’s message is to bask in the good stuff.  It won’t always be there and soon enough uncertainty will come to toy with your thoughts and emotions and life.  So enjoy what you have while you have it.  Take pleasure in those things that give you a sense of goodness, hope, and well-being.  Hold them close and enjoy them for all their worth.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What part of my current state of spirit is within my control to change? (built off yesterday’s cards)

ETA Tarot - Emerging Toronto Artists TarotReading Summary:  Allow that growth to develop and grow (Seven of Pentacles).  Don’t allow yourself to be pulled aside (Seven of Wands) by misplaced confidence (Six of Wands) that urges me to go developing new distractions (Ace of Pentacles) to replace those that have been discarded.

Take Away:  This is a huge bad habit of mine.   That is, the habit of piling more and more on my plate until I’m swamped and overwhelmed, and then forcing myself into sustaining it over long periods of time.   The cards here indicate that this habit is a distraction that will hinder my spiritual growth at this time, as well as hinder my ability to move into a better relationship with my spirit guides.

DECK USED:  ETA TAROT (EMERGING TORONTO ARTISTS TAROT)

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2 How can I better handle this lack of alone time?

Cosmic TarotReading Summary: Appreciate and foster the growth (Seven of Pentacles) of the connections coming from the added feminine influences (High Priestess) in my life right now rather than struggling in vain against what cannot currently be changed (Nine of Swords). Acceptance is a better path (Temperance).

Take Away:  Having this extra time with L and Z is a blessing, and when I am struggling with feeling overwhelmed by my current lack of alone time, I need to step back and take some time to remember that blessing and the opportunity that it is providing me to develop a deeper and stronger bond with both of them.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do others perceive me?

Fantastical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary: A planner and a go-getter that uses their past experiences to map the course forward.

Take Away:  The cards indicate that people see me as someone that uses their past experiences and the positive aspects of what has been learned from them to both guide my own steps, but also assist others in finding their path forward in the direction of their goals as well.  To be honest?  I really like that.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my mind? How can I improve it?

IMG_3637

Relationship With My Mind: I am both well seated and happy to guide others with the workings of my mind and have a deep sense of independence and decisiveness. (Queen of Swords)

How to Improve that Relationship:  Foster more positivity (The Sun) and seek balance by reaching out for (and accepting) the help of others (Two of Cups).

Take Away: Although I don’t have an issue with decisiveness and independence, I can improve upon my relationship with my mind by allowing more input from others, especially in the area of interpreting my emotions and giving me a “light at the end of the tunnel” to focus on when I get too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT

 

Finding the Source

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IMG_3617Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and focused on pain management.  This is a topic that I am extremely well versed in and honestly?  There wasn’t anything particularly new in the meditation that isn’t already a part of my own pain management practices.

The theme had to do with not just using the breath and meditation to work through pain, but to appreciate pain for what you can learn from it and how it makes you stronger.  Sometimes, in the middle of pain, just as in the middle of a crisis, it is difficult to see where there may be some sort of benefit from the experience.   Some people, I know, are unable to find that benefit even after it all has ended.

I personally believe that one of the major lessons to be learned in this incarnation of mine is to allow difficulties to strengthen me, and accept the hardships, struggles, and even the life-altering tragedies and moments of victimization as a part of my development into someone better… something better.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is the “Acknowledging Apprehension” card of the Healing Mantra Deck.

The purpose of this card and its mantra is to assist in teaching one how to step forward into a direction in times of apprehensive uncertainty.

In the book for this deck, it explains that as you identify and acknowledge apprehension in yourself, you can then “recognize that either it is your heart trying to warn you of an old choice or pattern you’re about to repeat, or it is a sense of unworthiness that makes you unsure about” moving forward.

The message here is that the more you are able to acknowledge that your apprehension is there, and the more often that you are able to discern which of the two above mentioned scenarios are applicable, the more adept you become in stepping past the clouds of uncertainty apprehension can create and into a sense of clarity that fosters decisive action.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Root Cause of this time of transition and my reactions to it. (built off yesterday’s cards)

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m hurting myself (Three of Scrolls) by focusing too hard on my more material goals (Ten of Stones) and the new emotions I’ve been experiencing (Ace of Mirrors) are spurring a gradual change (Death).

Take Away:  Home and financial stability is my biggest focus when it comes to goals, and that’s not really much of a surprise.  The cards here indicate that I have become so focused upon those goals for so long that I’ve become used to using them to avoid my inner well-being.  The new level of emotional awareness I’ve been growing into is reaching a point where changes are inevitable and, in fact, needed in order to continue in my growth.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the most important lesson I need to learn this month?

Universal Celtic Tarot

Reading Summary:  It’s okay to be soft sometimes (Queen of Cups), even in times when strength of will (King of Wands) and clarity of thought (King of Swords) is needed.

Take Away:  There is a certain kind of strength in softness and emotions.  There’s strength in knowing yourself and being in a place where your emotions do more than create a whirlwind of confusion but actually foster a sense of stability all their own.  The important lesson I need to learn this month is that emotions do not have to detract from my other strengths… instead they can reinforce and bolster and nurture my strength of will and clarity of thought… If I can accept it.

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is something I am proud of in my life?

Maruco Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: My independence (Three of Cups Rx) and sense of purpose (The Emperor) that, through times of change (Death), allows me to ride through those changes in life and use them as an opportunity for growth (The World).

Take Away:  This is more like two things… or maybe two things rolled into one thing like a chocolate and creme Ho-Ho.  It’s about adaptability and persistence.  It’s about taking what comes and rolling with it.   That’s something that’s not always easy, and doesn’t even always go smoothly.  Yet in retrospect I continue to do it regardless of what tries to knock me off my feet along the way, or how many times I land on my ass and have to pick myself back up.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my body? How can I improve it?

IMG_3625Reading Summary:  Too much good times (Three of Cups).  Instead of unproductive good times with others, utilize their presence and work together with them (Three of Pentacles over The Hermit).

Take Away: I have not been working out, and there are things I could be doing… but have been lax about starting, let alone doing regularly.  If I want to rectify this issue, I need to stop being lax and reach out to L and Z to help me get motivated and assist me in getting to work.

The Tower Rx jumped out at the end of this reading  as I was putting cards away to tell me… “Don’t freak out, this isn’t the end of the world.”

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

 

Connecting With Something More

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This week’s Pagan post is again from a question on one of the spirituality Discord servers that I’m a member of rather than from the Pagan Perspective prompts on YouTube.  No real reason this week for the deviation from the PP prompts other than I just really liked the question.

Question for the week of April 6th:  If spirits or deities aren’t part of your practice, talk about how you connect to energy/the elements/a plant/whatever you connect to.

nature

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I grew up in a Wiccan/Buddhist household, but I never connected with the concept of deity, so once I was out on my own it was the first thing that I discarded from my practice in the process of transitioning into something that worked better for me.

At that time, I first stepped into working with the energies of the elements and the forest, which felt comfortable and right. As time moved in, I had a good deal of time to think in depth about the concept of divinity, though, and over time I began incorporating a different scope of energy into my practice.  I now still work with the four elements combined with the energies and entities of the forest, but the foundation of my path beneath that is based off of the energies of creation, evolution, and balance.

For me, the energies just… feel right. Fit better than deity ever did.  That said, these energies are incorporated into my spellcraft and ritual in similar ways to how Wiccans incorporate the God/Goddess aspect. That is to say that these energies are called upon to add their blessing and their strength to the ritual or workings taking place.

I feel these energies of creation, evolution, and balance around me all day every day… all the time. Same with the energies of the elements and my very strong connection to damp earth and the forest. That connection to these energies is incorporated in everything I do, as it is something I am conscious of every moment of every day.

forest

As for spirits…. I had a mediumship experience back last fall, and I realized after some contemplation that (for reasons of discomfort) I’ve been ignoring an ability that I’d now like to explore.

But, I want to do that safely, which I feel means I need a closer (and more conscious) relationship with my guides to accomplish. So, I’ve begun working on transitioning to a more conscious relationship with my guides primarily through meditation and a bit through some tarot experimentation.

I never really “connected” with my guides growing up or through the years since.  I understand that they’re there (although I have no idea what kind of guides they are whether they be ghosts or other entities of some sort).  I’ve always just sort of ignored their presence and let them “do their thing”… to wit I understand that they have probably been using the signals of my intuition (which communicates with me on a very physical level) and possibly also the tarot, to guide me without my awareness of their hand in things.

Honestly, I’m not even really sure what a more conscious and aware relationship with my guides might look like, but I feel that it is needed for safety if I want to explore the mediumship ability that let itself be known last autumn.