It is not the ache upon the solar plexus or sinking of the heart, but the silent creep of tiredness and, concealed within that tiredness shadow…. apathy.
The interest in food dissolves, as does the drive toward self care. I focus on work so that I do not fall behind, but there is little joy, only process. Mindless process where by I go through the motions that move me along one step at a time.
I try to push back, but there is nothing to push against, and nothing to push with. It is all shadow and mirror, no substance and thus nothing to grasp or defeat. After all, how do you wage war a shadow?