Not my spirit, but my body. Sometimes, it drags on me. That constant pain is like paint chipping away on a broken slat. The break is there and can’t be fixed, and still year after year the paint keeps on wearing down and chipping away.
Sometimes, that’s how my pain feels. My back. My knee. My hip. My ankle. Shoulder. Elbow. Wrist. And that’s not even counting the pain from the scar tissue…. internal and external.
I suffer in silence. There is nothing anyone can do for it, there is no solution or resolution, no cure or magical healing that will take it away. Expressing one’s pain to others nothing but make them uncomfortable, so there is no point, yes?
I work hard to manage it with my physical activity, yoga and other stretching, meditation, physio, chiropractor, ice packs, massage, and when absolutely necessary, anti-inflammatories and pain relievers. And yet, it’s always there.
I try to ignore it, and for small fractions of time here and there, I succeed. And yet it’s still there. Always there.
Today, is one of those days where it refuses to be ignored. Instead of being able to ignore it for an hour here or there, it is ever present and nagging. I’m so tired of the pain. I can’t even remember or imagine what life is like without it.