The Inner Child

Due to spending the majority of what would have been my free time today with the police dealing with the break-in down in our gated garage, I did not get the chance to meditate today.

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is a representation of memories, childhood, and innocence in the areas of emotions, relationships, and creativity.

This card has multiple meanings, as many of the cards in the deck do. But, it’s presence today is a reminder to get in touch with my inner child, where my joy in creation resides.

I have so many projects on the go right now, and so much to do. I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed while trying to play catch-up from the depression that took so much of my time at the beginning of the spring.

The Six of Cups is a reminder that even though there’s so much to do, many of the projects that I need to work on our seated and creativity. These are projects that I should be looking forward to with an open heart, rather than trudge towards as if they are a chore.

A funny and fun coincidence… An excellent article offered in my NYTimes Smarter Living subscription this morning is “How to Revisit the Ghosts of Your Past“, which relates to another possible interpretation of this card.

The Return Trip

Today’s meditation was about self-compassion and kindness. If focused on how when we look at our inner thoughts throughout the day the cycle around in our head, they are often berating and judging in nature.

The guided meditation was an activity focused on how to get better at being kind to yourself both during meditation and throughout the day.

Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which represents strength, authority, and a decidedly alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of logic, thought, and communication.

He is… me. The me beyond the influence of my depression. As the King of Cups is so very much the “you” that I see and admire, the King of Swords is an embodiment of what you express admiration for in me.

That is my moral compass, my need for fairness, my logical mind, and my efforts at impartial examination of things from all angles I can reach before coming to a decision.

This card is a reminder of where I am returning to as I pull out of my depression completely and recover from it effects and lingering sensitivities.

In the time following a depression there is a period of rebalancing. A time when I am more reactive, more sensitive, and less likely to pay attention to all aspects of a situation.

During these times it’s all about following my instincts to keep me on track as well as in my interactions with others. Then, over time, my mind kicks back into gear and I settle back into I far more logical approach, while my instinct and moral compass whisper in the background.

The King of Swords is an indication that this transformation is in the process of taking place and I am on my way back to my own sense of “normal”. My own, very personal type of balance.

Seeding the Garden of New Ideas

Like yesterday, my morning was a bit hectic and inconvenient today. So, I drew my card first thing when I got up to give myself focus and food for thought throughout my day, but didn’t have time to meditate until this evening.

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and forty-nine seconds, and focused on letting go. Whether that be negative feelings, or thoughts that keep one up at night, etc.

I didn’t think this one applied to me very much, but now that it’s over I feel… better. I’m not sure what I let go exactly, but I definitely feel lighter.

The woman’s voice on the guided meditation was so soothing that I caught myself dozing off a few times. I definitely need a nap.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Swords. In the suit of intellect, communication, and logic, the Ace represents new beginnings, fresh insights, and the discovery of new truths. It can also be a powerful encouragement concerning new intellectual endeavors, projects concerning communication, etc.

I can’t help but see a strong correlation between the appearance of this card and this new project we’ve embarked on with this blog.

I know you are seeing benefits from what I’ve begun here, and I think that I see some of them as well. I’m more aware of myself and my inner dialogue throughout the day than I was before. And, I truly believe that this project made a profound impact on how I surfaced from my depression this time around.

I feel more… hopeful, too. And there’s no denying the benefits to our relationship, as it has opened up channels of communication that, following a depression, are usually much more difficult, awkward, and uncomfortable to get opened back up. Not to mention usually taking quite a bit more time? I’m pretty sure that’s also the case, because although I don’t really remember that part of things (or at least not much of it), this time feels… accelerated. And yet not in an overwhelming way.

SO… wandering thoughts aside, I feel like this card is a reminder that this blog and what I’m doing here is a good thing. The card was also a bit of a prompt to really look at the benefits mentioned above as well.

Cultivating Creation

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds, and focused on doing one thing at a time.

I think that, because I’m tired today, this task really isn’t all that easy. My days are often a blend of multitasking and intense focus. But when I’m tired, sometimes the two get a bit jumbled together.

In meditation it’s important to focus on the moment, and today I had a really hard time staying focused. I think it’s just that I’m tired, though, as most of the intruding thoughts were visual daydream oriented. They weren’t about things I need to do, or projects that need to get done, or any of that. And, even though I was awake, I caught myself just starting to pull in a snore here and there in my breathing.

Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles. This card is all about creation, abundance, and heart in the areas of money, resources, and the physical world.

The dark pit of depression that sucked me in set me behind in many things, especially those related to tending to my business and my creativity, which I greatly intertwined.

This card is an encouragement to pick that creativity back up. It’s time to bring ideas to the surface and bring them forward into the physical world once more.

Before the depression, I had so many ideas and so many projects on the go. I had lots of things to make, quite a few ideas in mid-creation, and all of it ended up on the back burner.

This card is an encouragement to get back into those things I enjoy. It’s time to begin manifesting these ideas and projects that have been sitting on the back burner into reality.

As a sidenote, it’s probably not surprising that this is one of my favorite pieces of artwork in this particular tarot deck. I love the inquisitive yet contented expression on his face. I love the way that he seems so at peace and happy in both his work and his creativity. To me, the artwork is truly an expression of working industriously at doing what you love.