tarot reading

Paying Attention

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magnetostrictive ultrasonic scalerToday’s meditation was about forty minutes long, and took place at the dentist’s office. I have a really difficult time at the dentist’s office due to my synesthesia. So many of the sounds that take place in that chair are unpleasant on a level that goes far beyond sound.  Some of them aren’t bad, others I don’t have  a reaction to at all.  But there are a few that really make dental work difficult and painful.

For example, the sound of the magnetostrictive ultrasonic scaler, which causes muscle spasms in my left pec which combine with a sensation of a long, thin needle piercing between two of my ribs in the back at an angle to points to exactly where that muscle spasm takes place.   For a moment, this sensation is painful but might cause a gasp before you take a breath and move on.  Over a continuous length of time, it leaves a lasting soreness that carries beyond the drawn out intensity in the moment.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, or conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, education, intellect, communication, or ambition.  This often comes across in the form of competition, arguments, or can communicate a determination to win no matter what.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the person in the lower left side that is crying in the background, and the fact that the helmet of the main figure in the card covers their eyes.

There is a reminder here to pay attention to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Are you hurting people and ignoring it, or just ignorant to it?  Why are you not focusing on this aspect? What was the motivation behind whatever hurt this person?  Was there a better way to handle things?

This card’s message today is about being aware of what you’re doing, and those you affect with your actions (or inaction).

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question: How can I best work with, or work around, the current vibes?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay open to new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and reach out and grab them by the balls when they appear to you (Chariot).  Now is not a time to stay comfortable and safe in your nest (Four of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  There’s been a good deal of warning in the cards lately about business being a bit slow this holiday season. The cards here indicate that in order to counteract that, I need to be open to the possibilities and opportunities that may arise, and jump on them immediately rather than hemming and hawing about it as I often end up doing.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it possible to truly experience anything objectively?

Puppet Theatre TarotReading Summary:  A king on his throne sees the world as his playground (The Emperor), a couple on a beach basking in the sun sees the world as a perfect slice of heaven (The Sun), and someone with the spark of inspiration nipping at their heels sees the world as filled with potential adventures (Knight of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that it is not possible to truly experience anything with complete objectivity. We can do our best to be objective, but our emotions, our relationships, our history, and our experiences all create a foundation for which other new experiences and perceptions are built on.  There is no such thing as a “clean slate” in humanity, as emotions flavor everything we do, even for amnesiacs.

I agree.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT

Failures Are Lessons Too

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I ended up out at the farm way longer than normal and then decided to nap instead of do it later in the day.  I’ll do it before bed, though.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Page of SwordsToday’s draw is the Page of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, education, thoughts and logic, communication, and ambition. This often translates itself into themes that have to do with the eager and diligent student, learning better communication skills or how to adapt your communication methods to others, or delving into one’s thirst for knowledge and curiosity.

What stands out to me in this card is that the guy has apparently cracked himself on the head… perhaps with the hand rake that is lying on the ground at his feet.

Sometimes when we’re learning new things, shit like this happens.  You smack your thumb with a hammer a few times when learning to pound nails.  You trip over roots a few times the first time you go out hiking. Learning new things inherently has a few mishaps involved in the process.

Just remember that that’s okay. It’s okay to try and fail, just keep trying again.  Each failure is a learning experience that can make you better at it the next time.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question: Something that could support my creative flow or focus right now.

Global Fusion Intuitive Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop listening to the whispers that say you’re going to lose everything (Four of Pentacles) and instead try to see whatever comes as an adventure (The Fool).  This isn’t an easy choice for you (Two of Swords).

Take Away: Leaning into the perspective that everything is an adventure is not an easy thing for you.  It takes a conscious effort and diligence to remember to continue to lean that way hour after hour and day after day.  But by loosening up the reigns and easing your grip, it will foster your creative flow and focus in a way that this desperate grasp you try to keep on everything staying stable and the same just can’t provide you.

DECK USED:  GLOBAL FUSION INTUITIVE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is… blocking my way / distracting my attention / tying my hands

Traditional Manga TarotWhat is blocking my way?

Two of Swords – “Either/or” thinking has been an issue for me a lot this fall and is something I’m still struggling with. It feels as if it has been blocking my way in moving forward through the holiday rush prep as smoothly as I’d have liked, as it keeps popping up again and again. I am aware of it and working at keeping it from taking over, but it just doesn’t seem to want to ease off.

What is distracting my attention?

King of Swords – Rigid thinking, unlike the “either/or” thinking is something that is more of a bad habit rather than a new development. It’s that whole “this must be done this way” mentality.  It is feeding into that “either/or” mentality tho, and causing a lot of conflict as a result.

What is tying my hands?

Ace of Pentacles atop Six of Cups – Old family values often hold me back, especially concerning work and money. I am aware of the fact that these values are a heavy influence in my life, and yet discarding them… even the ones that don’t really work for me or are unhealthy for me, is something I struggle with a great deal.  I’ve been able to loosen the grip of those ideals and judgements over time, but they still linger.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What previously unknown light aspect has presented itself this year?

The Ellis Deck 5th Edition

Reading Summary: Learning to think of things (Page of Swords) as more of a journey (The World) instead of a constantly repeating battle (Nine of Rods) has helped me in finding a more stable foundation (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: Over the spring and summer as I’d been exploring my emotional and spiritual sides more openly and fully, I was given a new perspective of the world besides the hard edged black and white version I’d once seen the world as the majority of the time.  I feel like this new, softer perspective has rounded out my perception of the world a bit, and thus provided me with a more grounded and stable foundation for my life as a whole as well as my path moving forward.

DECK USED:  THE ELLIS DECK 5TH EDITION

New Can Be Scary… That’s Okay

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IMG_7581Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided portion of the meditation was about holding space for others and listening with more than our ears but our mind and our heart as well.

Often, when we are talking with others, we don’t spend enough of our energy on listening to what the other person has to say.  Instead, we’re in our own heads formulating what we’re going to say next, or musing over our opinions of something that was said, or planning what we need to do later on in the day, etc.

The encouragement in the guided meditation is to use the mindfulness that we use in meditation, and carry it forward into the world in how we listen to and communicate with others.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in relation to one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This often translates into themes that have to do with new relationships, new creative ideas, or new emotional growth.

What really stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the small pink lotus flower on the right near the woman’s arm, and on the opposite side, the gray swirl of what I think is supposed to be her hair… but looks a lot like a shark to me at first glance.

The message here is that there is always a bit of risk in new things.  Things can go well and go smoothly, or they could turn around and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.  The key is in her lifted arms… which speak of moving forward into new experiences regardless of the risk.  Sometimes you just have to step up and see what’s waiting for you.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question: What am I asked to create for myself, or work on, throughout the month of November?

Delos Tarot - The Magician, DeathWhat am I asked to create for myself throughout the month of November?

The Magician – Confidence. I’ve felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity lately when it comes to my ability to juggle my emotions and the holiday rush.  It’s been sort of wittling away at the edges of my confidence in other areas pertaining to my business.  The Magician is a reminder that I’m capable and that through the next few weeks I need to prove this to myself and create for myself  the confidence that I’ve felt wavering a bit lately.

What am I asked to work on throughout the month of November?

Patience through slow change. Patience is not my strong suit when it comes to my expectations of myself and my personal progress.  I need to keep in mind that most of the changes I’m working for this year are slow growth changes, and not sudden transformative moments.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal happiness.

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary:  Alone time is needed (The Hermit) so move your ass (Eight of Wands) and take the reigns and make it happen (The Chariot).

Take Away: Get your ass out into the woods. Stop procrastinating.
Wednesday.  I’m going on Wednesday after my dentist appointment. I plan on running a few errands in the morning after the dentist, and then heading out into the forest by late morning or early afternoon at the latest.

I’ve been feeling the need to get out into the forests for a bit now, but things have just felt so clusterfucked that I haven’t really managed to do it.  But I’ve set aside time for it on Wednesday and have every intention of spending a handful of hours out there.  It’s not as good as a day hike, but it’ll be a good long visit all the same. More than enough time to untie some internal knots and enjoy some alone time with the trees.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What previously unknown shadow aspect has presented itself this year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: My issues with slowing down (The Chariot Rx) and taking things at a slower pace (Knight of Pentacles). These issues are rooted in my childhood (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Ugh.  So much shadow work has been peeking out at me and trying to make itself known recently.  I can’t do shadow work in the fall and winter, and yet it always seems ready to make itself known around this time of year each year.  This shadow, like so many that try to get my attention in the fall, is rooted in my childhood.  Speed and efficiency are highly prized in my family, especially by my father, and I’ve spent a huge part of my life developing my speed and efficiency in all aspects of my life, work, and business. 

Over this year, I’ve been trying to spend more time slowing down instead, which has brought this specific shadow aspect I wasn’t really all that aware of as a shadow aspect rising up to the surface again and again.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

Reconnecting with Nature

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IMG_7564Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation that focused on the benefits of mindfulness that you learn through meditation and can then carry on into the world beyond.   It dealt specifically with the ability to stretch time within one’s meditation so that a minute can stretch out to feel like five, and ten minutes can stretch out to feel like thirty.

Sometimes?  This is exactly how my meditation goes.  Other times, though, even when I am fully focused on my meditation, the ten minutes seems to fly by and I feel like I have not spent enough time in my meditation.  The interval timer often creates this impression.  It’s set to go off every 2.5 minutes.   Each segment of 2.5 minutes can some days feel like ten minutes each, and at other times feel like not even a minute has passed.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The EmpressToday’s draw is the Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of abundance, the sacred feminine, and a nurturing earthy mother type of energy, personality, or person.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery is the fox, and the reason for this is it is through the fox that I see the connection in this card to that earthy nature energy.

I often see the Empress card as a representation of Gaia, the earth goddess, and the way that the fox looks up at the woman in the card speaks strongly to me of that connection.

The message in today’s card is that I need to get myself out into nature. Doing so is about nurturing my self, and finding balance and grounding in my connection with mother earth. I’ve felt really off lately, and I need to reconnect with the earth in order to find the clarity and grounding that I need.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Question: Take time today to fill out your birth chart and learn more about your Sun, Moon, and Rising Sign placements.

As Above So Below Birth Chart

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

El Tarot de los MuertosA message that your ancestors would like to give you at this time:

The Tower – The chaos is coming. I am hoping that this is about the holiday rush crashing down on me with the force of a tornado.  The problem here is that this feels more like the need to restructure things in order to move forward, evaluating and reorganizing priorities, etc.

Honestly, I would not be surprised if that instinct is correct and this is a warning about the holiday rush not being as lucrative as I need it to be, but I am too close and have too much inner chaos concerning this topic at the moment to fully see what the card is saying clearly.

I should have pulled a clarification card.

A message that your ancestors have been trying to convey that you have not been receptive to in the past:

Four of Pens (Wands) – Appreciate your home and current situation and the stability you have in the present.  Make sure that you are being mindful of the present and wallowing in the pleasure that the stability you have created to date is providing for you. It doesn’t always have to be about the future.

How to be more open to messages from your ancestors in the future:

The Moon – Don’t give in to your fear and uncertainty. These emotions muffle your inner voice, and thus muffle messages from my ancestors as well.  Remember that sometimes not knowing and not digging to know is okay.  Work on being more comfortable with uncertainty instead of railing against it.

How to honor and connect more strongly with your ancestors moving forward:

Four of Coffins (Pentacles) – Ground yourself and stay open.  In staying centered and grounded, you are able to better hear your inner voice… and thus their voices as well.  Inner chaos silences them… inner calm and grounding allows them to speak loudly and clearly.  This honors them as well as connects them, as it opens you up to their input, lending them your ear and your attention.

DECK USED:  EL TAROT DE LOS MUERTOS

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: Where, right now, in this moment, should I focus my energy?

The Marigold Tarot

Reading Summary:  Your intuition and inner knowledge (The High Priestess) require you to move away from (Six of Swords) the distractions and outside influences that are setting you off kilter (Three of Cups Rx).

Take Away:  I have been struggling a good deal with a sort of foggy cobweb of confusion over the past few days.  This screws with my intuition and inner guidance and it’s something I need to work on resolving now instead of continually pushing it off to the side to try and ignore it.

DECK USED:  MARIGOLD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does my ideal day look like?

Antique Anatomy Tarot

Reading Summary: The opportunity to help others in finding their path, and learning from them in turn (The Hierophant).  A variety of activities that I enjoy (Seven of Coins). Time with Gideon (King of Elixirs).

Take Away:  It brings me a great deal of joy to help others in finding their personal path.  Whether it’s just some small thing I say that creates a burst of realization for them, or spending a good length of time speaking with someone over something to help them find if (or how) it works for them personally so that they can explore it more in depth.   During these types of activities, I get the chance to not just guide others, but to learn from them as well. Adding this aspect as a part of my day is on of the things that would create a perfect day.

Another aspect that would help create my perfect day is having a variety of different things to do during that day.  Things I enjoy that breaks up the day into segments, instead of getting stuck doing one thing all day and the day then sliding away in a haze.  By segmenting my day, it lengthens the day and creates a variety of memories for me to look back on later instead of one big fog (which is what happens if my day is spent doing the same thing all day long).

And of course, no day could ever be perfect without my King of Cups as a part of it.  Spending time with Gideon makes each and every day better, and thus no perfect day could ever be “perfect” without him along for the ride.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT (MASS MARKET EDITION)

We Are Not Born Wise

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Today’s meditation was done twice.  I did my morning meditation of ten minutes with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  I then did a second meditation later in the day just before our Samhaim ritual started, in order to help ground and center myself for the ritual to come.  Both were needed and seemed to help a bit not just with grounding but with the low grade anxiety that’s been playing havoc with me for the past few days.

Madam Lydia Wilhelmina's Tarot - The HierophantToday’s draw is the Hierophant, which is traditionally interpreted as a religious or spiritual leader and/or institution with spiritual wisdom and the authority to lead others along traditional spiritual paths using their wisdom and experience. Conformity to traditions is a strong component as well in the traditional meaning of this card.

I connect very strongly with this card on many levels, although… conformity is not one of them.   I do not see conformity here in this card, which means it is one that connects for me even stronger than most.   What this card represents to me is guidance and wisdom.  It’s about teaching others to find their path… and about learning from others in ways that enhances your own path.   A teacher is no teacher at all if they are no longer open to learning as well, and in this imagery you see that he does not just hold a book of Jupiter.  Now whether this book is about the Roman god Jupiter, or the planet Jupiter is really irrelevant as it speaks to me of the fact that he is seeking knowledge.  You do not become knowledgeable and wise by sticking your head in the sand.

The message in this card’s appearance today is a reminder that exploration is a good thing. Never be afraid of failure, for even failures teach you something you didn’t know before, and all knowledge becomes valuable eventually… whether in sharing it with others, in expanding your wisdom, or both.

DECK USED:  MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Now is the time {card 1}, this is the hour {card 2}, this is the magick {card 3}, this is the power {card 4}.

Dead Waite Tarot

Now is the time {Judgement} to reign in your judgements and make sure that you are being kind to yourself and others. You do not need to be harsh or cruel to yourself to get where you want to go. 

This is the hour {Knight of Swords} to charge after your ambitions. Pick up that sword and focus on your target.  Stop being distracted by trivial shit that doesn’t matter and worries about things that have no foundation.

This is the magick {The Devil} that will get you not just the things that you need… but the things that you want as well.  Just like you can’t put food in your belly without success, neither can you can you feed your addictions without the success of your business. 

This is the power {Two of Cups} that will get you through. It’s not about sharing the work, but about coming together and supporting each other.  Yes, sharing the work is a part of that, but that’s not the part that needs to be stressed or focused on.  Focus on how they make you feel supported, and how you are after the same things.

DECK USED:  DEAD WAITE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this blue moon?

Ritual Abuse TarotReading Summary:  There is too much going on emotionally and you need to narrow down everything that is vying for your attention (Seven of Cups). Like an arrow poised to be set loose, find your direction and bear down on it (Two of Wands) while making sure to take care of yourself so that you stay healthy along the way (The Empress).

Take Away:  I need to set aside distractions and focus on the direction I want the next couple of months to go on, and the self care that will allow me to carry through the next couple of months without falling apart or hurting myself (most likely through severe burnout).

DECK USED:  RITUAL ABUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the “Trick” I should be wary of for the next year?  What is the “Treat” that is coming to me this year?

Terrestrial TarotWhat is the “Trick” I should be wary of for the coming year? 

Queen of Coins – Make sure that you are not allowing people to lean too heavily upon you or depend too much upon what you can provide for them on a material level.  Being supportive is one thing, but you aren’t a single parent raising children, so don’t put yourself in a position where you feel the onus of everything rests upon your shoulders alone.

What is the “Treat” that is coming to me in the coming year?

The Sun – There is a double meaning in the appearance of The Sun card here in this spread.   First is the traditional meaning of positivity, success, and fun.  After the holiday rush, I will be able to lean into learning how to embrace these things once more on a fully conscious level.

The second meaning in The Sun’s appearance echoes back to a reading I did on October 3rd, in which The Sun card (this specific sun card in this specific deck) came up as a representation of one of my spirit guides.  spiritual guide relationship that was indicated in a reading at the beginning of the month. Appearing again now, it is an indication that I will find myself developing a stronger relationship with this guide in the future.

DECK USED:  TERRESTRIAL TAROT

Blue Moon in Taurus – October 2020

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Full Moon in Taurus - Hephoe Tapo

Today is the full moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What does my body require right now?

Knight of Swords atop Ace of Swords – Slow down and think things through. I need to make better choices concerning my body and what it needs.  That includes getting more time outside in the woods, but also making sure I’m eating better.  Less junk and more healthy goodness, instead of reaching for whatever is in reach and easy.

2a. Where in my life do I need to be gentler?

Two of Pentacles – I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to juggle everything. I did such a good job through the spring and summer at balancing things better, but with the approach of the holiday rush and the stress that is slowly building up… I’ve sort of dropped the ball.

2b. Where in my life do I need to be more joyful?

Page of Pentacles – It’s okay to enjoy yourself and have some fun while you work at adapting to the upswing in sales and added responsibility.   Don’t get so focused on sales that you forget to have some fun with the creative side of things, or forget about how your creations are meant to bring joy to others.

3. Where do I need to take immediate action?

Ace of Pentacles – Get your shit together. Opportunities are on the rise and you need to make sure you’re ready to catch hold and run with it when they drop in your lap. You have a choice to make.  You can either grab hold of the ball and run with it, ensuring a good financial boon for the holiday season.  Or you can drop the ball and pay the consequences when the money doesn’t roll in as you are used to it doing during this time of year.

4. What is ripe for harvesting?

The Sun atop Knight of Pentacles Rx – Instill fun into your work now.  Right now. This isn’t something you have to take at a slow pace like so many other things along your path.  This is something you can do right this moment.  Added bonus? It’ll help in stirring up your motivation and enthusiasm.

5. What long term project to I need to start?

Ten of Pentacles atop Seven of Pentacles – All that wonderful security and stability that I crave so much takes time to accomplish.  The reinforcement of just how ‘long term’ this goal is has been reinforced by the Seven of Pentacles indicating that the end of the journey is not in the foreseeable future but something I will have to put years and years of time and effort into yet.   That doesn’t mean that you procrastinate and do it later, but rather that much like an hourglass, you have to do it one grain of sand at a time.

DECK USED: HEPHOE TAPO