Month: July 2021

Coming Home

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was the second installment of the Balance app’s introductory sessions. It went as quickly and smoothly as the last, and was an extension on the basic breathing exercises that had been introduced in the first installment.

Fyodor Pavlov Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of one’s passionate love for the security and welcoming energies of home.  This often translates into themes that have to do with homecoming, celebrating home and stability, as well as relaxation in comfortable spaces.

Sometimes?  We get so wrapped up in work and responsibilities that we lose track of the simple pleasures that are offered to us in just having a safe and secure place to live and rest.   We forget just how fortunate we are, and just how much we have to be grateful for and celebrate in our lives.

The cards in today’s draw are all about the need to take a step back from responsibilities and obligations to make sure we are appreciating these things we take for granted.

By protecting your time and giving yourself room to truly get in touch with a practice of gratitude, taking time to appreciate those things that make you feel good and happy, safe and secure, it opens up our lives to instill a “breath of fresh air” into the times when we have to push ourselves a little harder.  So don’t forget, when you walk through your front door, to take a moment to pause.  To connect with the sense of safety and security, comfort and pleasure, that coming home creates.  Connect with… acknowledge… and appreciate just what that moment of easing does for you, and how good it feels.

DECK USED:  THE FYODOR PAVLOV TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Questions for July 16th thru 18th

The Experiential TarotWhat abundance can I expect throughout the summer?
Ten of Swords and Queen of Pentacles

As the summer continues, so too will continue your gentle and slow exploration of this year’s shadow work. There will be painful moments, and lots of opportunity to show yourself kindness and help yourself heal. Throughout this period of time home life and finances will continue to remain stable.

What abundance can I expect throughout the autumn?
Knight of Cups and The Hierophant

Autumn will bring about the opportunity to dive into old traditions surrounding what makes you happy. Lots more time outside, in the woods and among the liminal places of the forest. The summer having been so hot and dry, autumn I’ll give you the break that you need from these conditions so that you can dive in and once again really enjoy these long-standing methods of instilling joy, peace, and happiness in your life.

What abundance can I look forward to in the winter?
Ten of Pentacles and The Wheel of Fortune

Money. Money. Money. And a wealth of ups and downs that come with a busy season. The holiday rush is always a roller coaster ride of anxiety and overwhelm. But, the benefits of it are in the monetary gain that then stretches out throughout the rest of the year to support in the times when things are not so busy or lucrative.

DECK USED: THE EXPERIENTIAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for July 16th and 17th

Fyodor Pavlov TarotWhat unresolved angst is my inner adolescent still holding onto?

Eight of Pentacles Rx and Three of Swords – That “not good enough” dissatisfaction and disappointment in yourself. This topic has been explored a bit in a handful of readings over the past week, including touching on where those feelings come from and where they belong. This is something that needs working on, and worked with, in order to ease up on and eventually release.

What steps can I begin to take to help my inner adolescent in letting go of their unresolved angst?

Nine of Wands Rx and Ten of Cups – Work on easing up on your inner defenses in order to give yourself permission to truly heal, while mixing in a gratitude practice that points out all of the good that you have and that you do for others at this time in your life. This echoes back to yesterday’s cards and the advice about compartmentalizing the past and the present, to make it easier to identify where certain unhealthy inner dialogues are coming from and begin working at finding more satisfaction in the present.

DECK USED: THE FYODOR PAVLOV TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap.  I didn’t really want to, but I needed it.  And, I feel better after having taken it, even if I still feel a bit scattered.  I think that last part may be a bit of the “dazed and confused” beginnings of a sub drop.

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_7585Not a Weed

The healing touch
of vibrant blooms
that bob and sway
under a radiant sun
their petals
dancing happiness
fluttering
in the breeze
with a promise of
sweet relief
to those
familiar
with natures gifts

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Unnecessary Punishments

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and combined with my piriformis stretches, although it was not combined with an interval timer.  I tried out a new meditation app today.  The first ten days are a bit of a trial run where they are supposed to “build a practice” around how you react to the first ten sessions and your goals.  This one went by really quickly, and I’ll be continuing with this process for the next handful of days to see how I feel about this app.

True North Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of disappointments and heartbreak, although not always of the romantic variety. It’s about the letdowns and the regrets in life, the things that stir within us sorry, grief, and other emotional hurts.

When I see this particular Three of Swords, the emotion that comes through is an ache of betrayal.  We have betrayed the earth with our concrete and asphalt, poison and pollution.  We’ve broken the world.  That is what the imagery of today’s card says to me.

Sometimes when we’re feeling down, we feel like we’ve disappointed, or we’ve been disappointed by others, instead of being kind to ourselves we punish ourselves by wallowing in the painful emotions that arise, as if the situation is our fault instead of something that happened to us. This prolongs our pain, making the disappointment and feelings of life’s betrayal upon us stretch out and disrupt more of our lives.

The thing is?  When you fall down and scrape a knee, it doesn’t mean that it’s now time to sit down and dig into the wound with a dirty stick.

The message in today’s cards is that there is a healthier response to these moments in our lives. Instead of punishing ourselves and wallowing in the negativity bred by these situations, we can be kind to ourselves and help the healing process begin and flourish.

DECK USED:  TRUE NORTH TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

Mr Lionharts’ #TheJulyTarot #TarotSuitsChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 15th and 16th

Hilda TarotHow or where can I benefit from letting go or going with the flow?
Six of Cups and The Devil

Letting go of some of your past issues from your childhood can help ease you away from crossing the line concerning the things that you enjoy and taking things too far. This in turn helps to reduce some of the more negative consequences that result from indulging in your temptations and addictions.

Something I am asked to reflect / meditate on right now.
The Hierophant and Ace of Cups

Work on identifying ways to take care of yourself outside your norm. By mixing things up, self care can become less of a chore and more of a joy. As much as you appreciate stability and routine, there are just some times that you need to include a bit more diversity to keep things interesting.

DECK USED: HILDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

True North TarotSomething short and sweet today…

There was once a young prince  that more than anything wanted (Page of Wands) to be King (Frog in the Page of Wands staring at the King of Cups).

Unfortunately, on his way to the top he forgot that without the strength and support of others joining you on your journey (Three of Cups), any amount of success or power gained will be empty and without satisfaction (Nine of Coins Rx).

DECK USED: TRUE NORTH TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m feeling really vulnerable today after the play last night with Gideon.  I made sure to keep my schedule as clear as possible today to make sure I had time with Gideon to help soothe that sense of vulnerability.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Night Kisses

Vibrant dusk
as sun sinks low
and temperatures
begin to drop
Relief
rains down
over the senses
as another day
of sweltering heat
gives way
to the gentle touch
of cool night air
on eagery
waiting flesh

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Emotional Arrow

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Emotional Arrow Tarot Spread - Mermaid Cats Tarot

Emotion Addressed In This Reading:  An Irrational Sense of Overwhelm

1. SOURCE: What prompted this emotion? What lies at the root of it?

Five of Cups – Feelings of never enough / never good enough. This isn’t about social issues, which is its own beast and separate from this.  This is about never feeling as if anything you do is enough.  Not enough work, not enough effort, not enough quality, not enough perfection.  It spurs from the echo of your parent’s voice in your head always telling you that “you can do better”.  Get an A on a test… “you could do better, your penmanship is poor”.  Get straight A’s in school… “you could do more, why aren’t you playing sports or doing extracurriculars?”  It was never enough… never good enough.  And somehow, it is an echo that has continued to push you forward, and beat you down, years and years after having left that environment and influence.

2. IMPACT: How is this emotion affecting me now? How is it riding me?

Eight of Wands – Push. Push. Push. Push.  That feeling of never enough and never good enough pushes you to always strive for more.  More output.  More perfection. Just… more.  It’s not enough to make beautiful jewelry, it has to be perfect. It’s not enough to sell enough that you’re working the majority of every day’s hours, sell more.  Do more.  Make more.  Be better.  Always… no matter how much or how well you’re already doing.

3. NAVIGATION: How can I better harness, navigate, and channel it?

Two of Wands – Pick a direction. ONE direction.  Pick a focus. ONE focus.  Stop trying to do so much at once, and splitting your attention and your energy in so many directions at once. You can’t be in two places at once, and you only have two hands.  Choose that direction, that focus, and leave the other stuff behind to possibly take up at another time.

4. MESSAGE: What is this emotion trying to tell me?

Knight of Swords – You’re pushing too hard and it’s taking you in the wrong direction (cat on the card is facing the past).  All of this drive comes from an ugly place in your past and you need to work on moving forward, not backward.  That includes recognizing and letting go of these influences that are not healthy and only perpetuate self abuse through impulsivity and misplaced determination.

5. TARGET: Best outcome/goal of working constructively with emotion.

King of Pentacles – Stability. Surety. Ownership. Resolving the issues surrounding this motion can allow you to find a more grounded and secure foundation in the present.  This foundation then will influence all aspects of your life from your work to your home life and your feelings of security, providing a more comfortable and self assured outlook on your current life as well as future plans.

6a. OVERKILL: How does this emotion mislead me?

Six of Wands – This emotion and the history behind it that pushes it on misleads you by causing you to look outside your self for validation that you’re doing enough. No one else’s opinion on this topic matters. Only yours.  You can’t earn the approval from those parents in your past, now that you’re in the present.  That time is gone and there’s no one to judge how you do, what you do, or how much you do… except you.

6b. OVERKILL: How might it take me too far?

Page of Cups Rx – Taken too far, you lose your connection to your inner curiosity and creativity. You become beaten down by these judgements and start to feel like giving up.  There is no more joy, and with no joy you begin to lose your sense of curiosity.  Without that sense of curiosity to spark your creativity, that too begins to flag and falter.

Side Note:  I spoke to my shrink about these issues yesterday and she suggested trying to compartmentalize my past from my present.  To help me in remembering that the past is the past, a different chapter in a book… read and left behind.  I am in a new chapter now than I was then.  In doing this, she suggests that it might help me in letting go of those feelings of “not enough / not good enough” as well as the feelings concerning fear of scarcity.

DECK USED:  MERMAID CATS TAROT

Healthy Alone Time

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Today’s meditation was not a guided meditation, or even timed.  I believe it was probably around twenty minutes and took place after my phone appointment with my shrink.  I simply rested in quiet, doing some breathing exercises while performing my piriformis stretches.  It was really nice, but I’m amazed I didn’t fall asleep.

Linestrider Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of inner reflection and self analysis, as well alone time, and the introspection that comes when you step away from others and spend time with yourself.

The bear in this card really catches my eye today, as does the skull at the bottom.  In fact, I saw the skull first.  What I see in this image is the healthy form of alone time represented by the bear with his lantern.  The animal hibernates, but it is a healthy part of their cycle, while the lantern speaks of illumination of the self and resulting growth during this alone time.  The skull at the bottom then represents the other side of the coin and the unhealthy alone time that comes when we retreat from society not for healthy reasons, but rather to burrow into slothenly behavior or wallow in negative emotions.

The question then placed by the affirmation card in today’s draw is which do you do?  Which do you choose?  Do you choose healthy alone time?  Or do you instead focus on that wallowing and unhealthy alone time?  This is a choice and it’s about what we choose to focus on.  The message here is to make sure when you’re retreating from the world, it’s in a healthy way with a purpose… not just to wallow and, as a result, end up making things worse.

DECK USED:  LINESTRIDER TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

Cosmic_Crow_Tarot’s #FreedomTarotChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 13th, 14th and 16th

Healing Flower Color Cards and Linestrider TarotWhat is keeping me from feeling free in my life?
Beech and Three of Cups

Feeling responsible for others safety and happiness instead of leaving that for them to deal with themselves is one of the things that keeps you from feeling free in your life. You feel a responsibility to help shift people’s perspectives when they are in unhealthy patterns, or when you can help lighten their load by doing so. This is not your responsibility.

How can I find more freedom in my life?
Aspen and Three of Swords

Take a closer look at your fears. Dig up their roots and deal with what lies beneath instead of continuing to bury those feelings. There is a lot of ugly in your past. This is a call for shadow work, which you have been doing… but, as you are aware, like most growth it needs to be taken at a glacial pace. Keep going.  Direct your focus towards those moments you continue to try to avoid and bury.

How can I help others find the freedom they deserve?
Rock Water atop Mumulis, Strength

Although you often help people in overcoming their fears through creativity, persuasion, and support. You also have the ability to not just provide different perspectives, but through your creative process and work, spread joy and pleasure to others. Don’t forget what you contribute through your craft. You have a unique gift to give through the work you do and the intentions and methods used to create the vessels that deliver that joy to others.

DECK USED: HEALING FLOWER COLOR CARDS AND LINESTRIDER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is there an inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance?

Linestrider TarotReading Summary: Everything has a purpose (King of Pentacles). Chaos is an accelerant (The Tower Rx atop Knight of Wands) of the natural cycles that repeat again and again (Ace of Swords Rx). There’s nothing new just everything in its time and place (Temperance atop Ace of Swords).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that there is very little chaos and chance in nature. Everything is about cycles that repeat again and again.  Sometimes to the human eye, we are unable to see those cycles and thus it looks like chaos or chance.

The times chaos or chance -does- arise in nature, it us used by nature to accelerate a cycle already in place.

DECK USED: LINESTRIDER TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

So… I got hit by a truck today.  I mean as a pedestrian, I was hit by a truck today.  Instead of demanding to go home (mostly because I wanted to get my damned phone) I allowed myself to be checked out by the paramedics and taken to the hospital for x-rays.   I’m fine, and I made the guy that hit me put everything in his name so he’s responsible for all the bills and shit.