Unnecessary Punishments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and combined with my piriformis stretches, although it was not combined with an interval timer.  I tried out a new meditation app today.  The first ten days are a bit of a trial run where they are supposed to “build a practice” around how you react to the first ten sessions and your goals.  This one went by really quickly, and I’ll be continuing with this process for the next handful of days to see how I feel about this app.

True North Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of disappointments and heartbreak, although not always of the romantic variety. It’s about the letdowns and the regrets in life, the things that stir within us sorry, grief, and other emotional hurts.

When I see this particular Three of Swords, the emotion that comes through is an ache of betrayal.  We have betrayed the earth with our concrete and asphalt, poison and pollution.  We’ve broken the world.  That is what the imagery of today’s card says to me.

Sometimes when we’re feeling down, we feel like we’ve disappointed, or we’ve been disappointed by others, instead of being kind to ourselves we punish ourselves by wallowing in the painful emotions that arise, as if the situation is our fault instead of something that happened to us. This prolongs our pain, making the disappointment and feelings of life’s betrayal upon us stretch out and disrupt more of our lives.

The thing is?  When you fall down and scrape a knee, it doesn’t mean that it’s now time to sit down and dig into the wound with a dirty stick.

The message in today’s cards is that there is a healthier response to these moments in our lives. Instead of punishing ourselves and wallowing in the negativity bred by these situations, we can be kind to ourselves and help the healing process begin and flourish.

DECK USED:  TRUE NORTH TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

Mr Lionharts’ #TheJulyTarot #TarotSuitsChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 15th and 16th

Hilda TarotHow or where can I benefit from letting go or going with the flow?
Six of Cups and The Devil

Letting go of some of your past issues from your childhood can help ease you away from crossing the line concerning the things that you enjoy and taking things too far. This in turn helps to reduce some of the more negative consequences that result from indulging in your temptations and addictions.

Something I am asked to reflect / meditate on right now.
The Hierophant and Ace of Cups

Work on identifying ways to take care of yourself outside your norm. By mixing things up, self care can become less of a chore and more of a joy. As much as you appreciate stability and routine, there are just some times that you need to include a bit more diversity to keep things interesting.

DECK USED: HILDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

True North TarotSomething short and sweet today…

There was once a young prince  that more than anything wanted (Page of Wands) to be King (Frog in the Page of Wands staring at the King of Cups).

Unfortunately, on his way to the top he forgot that without the strength and support of others joining you on your journey (Three of Cups), any amount of success or power gained will be empty and without satisfaction (Nine of Coins Rx).

DECK USED: TRUE NORTH TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m feeling really vulnerable today after the play last night with Gideon.  I made sure to keep my schedule as clear as possible today to make sure I had time with Gideon to help soothe that sense of vulnerability.

Morning Bonus Read – Emotional Arrow

Emotional Arrow Tarot Spread - Mermaid Cats Tarot

Emotion Addressed In This Reading:  An Irrational Sense of Overwhelm

1. SOURCE: What prompted this emotion? What lies at the root of it?

Five of Cups – Feelings of never enough / never good enough. This isn’t about social issues, which is its own beast and separate from this.  This is about never feeling as if anything you do is enough.  Not enough work, not enough effort, not enough quality, not enough perfection.  It spurs from the echo of your parent’s voice in your head always telling you that “you can do better”.  Get an A on a test… “you could do better, your penmanship is poor”.  Get straight A’s in school… “you could do more, why aren’t you playing sports or doing extracurriculars?”  It was never enough… never good enough.  And somehow, it is an echo that has continued to push you forward, and beat you down, years and years after having left that environment and influence.

2. IMPACT: How is this emotion affecting me now? How is it riding me?

Eight of Wands – Push. Push. Push. Push.  That feeling of never enough and never good enough pushes you to always strive for more.  More output.  More perfection. Just… more.  It’s not enough to make beautiful jewelry, it has to be perfect. It’s not enough to sell enough that you’re working the majority of every day’s hours, sell more.  Do more.  Make more.  Be better.  Always… no matter how much or how well you’re already doing.

3. NAVIGATION: How can I better harness, navigate, and channel it?

Two of Wands – Pick a direction. ONE direction.  Pick a focus. ONE focus.  Stop trying to do so much at once, and splitting your attention and your energy in so many directions at once. You can’t be in two places at once, and you only have two hands.  Choose that direction, that focus, and leave the other stuff behind to possibly take up at another time.

4. MESSAGE: What is this emotion trying to tell me?

Knight of Swords – You’re pushing too hard and it’s taking you in the wrong direction (cat on the card is facing the past).  All of this drive comes from an ugly place in your past and you need to work on moving forward, not backward.  That includes recognizing and letting go of these influences that are not healthy and only perpetuate self abuse through impulsivity and misplaced determination.

5. TARGET: Best outcome/goal of working constructively with emotion.

King of Pentacles – Stability. Surety. Ownership. Resolving the issues surrounding this motion can allow you to find a more grounded and secure foundation in the present.  This foundation then will influence all aspects of your life from your work to your home life and your feelings of security, providing a more comfortable and self assured outlook on your current life as well as future plans.

6a. OVERKILL: How does this emotion mislead me?

Six of Wands – This emotion and the history behind it that pushes it on misleads you by causing you to look outside your self for validation that you’re doing enough. No one else’s opinion on this topic matters. Only yours.  You can’t earn the approval from those parents in your past, now that you’re in the present.  That time is gone and there’s no one to judge how you do, what you do, or how much you do… except you.

6b. OVERKILL: How might it take me too far?

Page of Cups Rx – Taken too far, you lose your connection to your inner curiosity and creativity. You become beaten down by these judgements and start to feel like giving up.  There is no more joy, and with no joy you begin to lose your sense of curiosity.  Without that sense of curiosity to spark your creativity, that too begins to flag and falter.

Side Note:  I spoke to my shrink about these issues yesterday and she suggested trying to compartmentalize my past from my present.  To help me in remembering that the past is the past, a different chapter in a book… read and left behind.  I am in a new chapter now than I was then.  In doing this, she suggests that it might help me in letting go of those feelings of “not enough / not good enough” as well as the feelings concerning fear of scarcity.

DECK USED:  MERMAID CATS TAROT