Expertise Takes Time

Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day, although I really feel like I could have used it. I’ve been a bit out of sorts all day long.

Hexen 2.0 Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is about learning a trade, building upon a skill, or developing an expertise.  It is about hard work and longevity combining to create a refined skill set, and can also indicate a mindset of perfectionism.

The representation here on the card with its theme based around the Setun, and highlighting both the computer scientist Nikolay Brusentsov as well as the mathematician Sergei Sobolev, is a clear demonstration of the type of expertise that can be gained through hard work and patience.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”, what I see here is about the length of time that it can take to perfect a skill or, for that matter, what the outcome of those skills may be.

The message in these cards pulled for today is that sometimes it can be extremely difficult to be patient, especially with ourselves. In this day and age of immediate gratification, the idea that something we want to accomplish taking ten years, twenty years, thirty years…. it can be almost unimaginable to some.  And yet, that is how expertise is developed. Not in the sprint, but in the long cross-country run.

DECK USED:  HEXEN 2.0 TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

TheSphinxRevolution’s Gothic Seance Divination Prompt
Today’s Muse
: Bram Stoker
(Note: I’m using the writers in this challenge as a muse instead of as a mediumship/seance practice. So the questions are about me instead of about them.)

Mykologia: Fungi Themed Oracle How do you see yourself in the spectrum of saint or sinner?

Artist’s Conk (Ganoderma applanatum) – I am neither, and I am both.  I have my own personal moral compass and ethics.  Sometimes theses align with society’s majority… and sometimes they don’t. This allows me a versatility that many in a more rigid stance don’t really have an opportunity to experience, allowing me to explore and expand, use my imagination, and see what comes up. For it isn’t societal expectations that dictate what I can and cannot do, but that inner compass within myself that tells me what is right and wrong for me.

What kind of negative emotions are you feeding on? How do they frighten you?

Veiled Lady (Phallus Indusiatus) – I have been struggling a bit lately with what I see in the mirror.  I know the scars are a badge of strength and survival. I know that the damage is uglier in my mind than it is truth. I thought I had gotten over the whole “loss of a pretty face” aspect, and I think that for the most part I have.  But sometimes I look in the mirror and I see the scar on my cheek and on my throat and… I feel ugly.  So fucking ugly.  I’m not even sure why this bothers me, as I’ve adjusted to the looks and to the changes in interacting with others that losing that beauty wrought.  I’m not even sure it’s about how others see the scars… but about how I sometimes see them.  I know that they are not some hideous disfigurement, but sometimes they feel that way.

What is laying deep down inside you that you are afraid to unleash?

Giant Puffball (Calvatia gigantea) – It’s funny that “boldness” specifically came up for this question.  When I look at myself, I think… I’m pretty bold.  I’m open, I’m expressive.  I’m “out there” in my preferences.   But then I look around at others and see those that seem so free and filled with vigor for life, like splashes of color on the canvas of life.   And I think… am I a shadow of who I could be? Am I repressed?  Or is it just my nature to be more reserved?  There’s no “boldness” bursting at the seams to come out, but sometimes I wonder what adding a bit more to my life would look like.

Guidance that Bram Stoker would offer you on your spiritual journey?

Bleeding Tooth (Hydnellum peckii) atop Fly Agaric (Amanita muscaria) – Pain is gasoline on the fire of life and growth.  When you bleed, whether physically or emotionally, you are giving of yourself to the man you are to become. Don’t be shy about allowing your wounds to bleed and breathe, for they are a part of what makes you who you are and who you will grow into both in this life and those that follow.

DECK USED:  MYKOLOGIA: FUNGI THEMED ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Prompt w/ #ConnectWithYourDeck Question
Topic
: About life…
Question: What is my biggest challenge in this lifetime?

Hexen 2.0 TarotReading Summary: Extracting the good from my past (Six of Chalices), while learning to turn away from the rest (Four of Chalices), learning to move forward and do better than what was done to me a little at a time (Knave of Pentacles).

Take Away: It is extremely hard to turn away from the things that my father and family said to me, and the way that they treated me, during my youth. Although I was very steadfast in what I knew to be right (and right for me), there were lasting repercussions of that long standing string of abuses. 

As I work to move forward with my life and make of it something I am happy with and am proud of, the challenge in this endeavor is in leaving behind the bad and taking the good forward with me on my journey.

DECK USED:  HEXEN 2.0 TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I just had a chocolate muffin with chocolate chips and chocolate sauce.

Gideon’s Challenge

The Key

Little bud
dark and dusky
waits
for sunlight’s kiss
to relax
that tight grip
and let
vibrant colors
shine bright
like the balm
of love’s kiss
upon the soul

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Checking In With Self

Vintage Flower Faeries Tarot - Checking In With Self Tarot Reading

How I’m Feeling Right Now

Knight of Cups (Bellflower) – You feel lik there’s a lot that you need to get done and want to get done, and not enough time to get it all done in.  This is a common problem for you and one that comes over you again and again because you have too much responsibility, too much inspiration, too much enthusiasm… and you try to fit too much into each day instead of pacing yourself.

What Can Soothe My Soul

Eight of Wands (Pine) – Move your ass.  Although trying to go after everything you want every moment of every day isn’t healthy, that doesn’t mean there’s not plenty you can do and get done of you focus on one thing at a time and push through each thing til the end.  Your focus is the key to making this happen, though.  When your focus is split in too many different directions, the arrow can’t fly true.

How I Can Honor Myself Today

King of Pentacles (Honeysuckle) atop Queen of Pentacles (Guelder Rose) – Practicality over the gentle approach. It’s an orders day and if you really want to honor yourself you need to honor your responsibilities and obligations… without going too far with it.  That means do what needs done, and balance it with a bit of self care.  One project at a time is the ladder to success.

Something I’m Ignoring

The Moon (Lily of the Valley) – Your fears aren’t always unfounded… just unresolved. Instead of letting them hold you back or drag you down, suck on your energy and keep you dragging your feet… maybe you need to start looking at them and dealing with them.  It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to do a bit of exploration in this area.

Something I’m Procrastinating

Ten of Wands (Oak) – Changing your mindset to one where you’re not over whelming yourself all the time. This is where this entire reading’s theme seems to lie.  To take better care of yourself, you need to deal with these habits.  Hiding from them isn’t the answer, because they’ll just resurface again and again.  You need to find what is creating this constant urge to push yourself to burn out and start dealing with it so that you can move on to something healthier without the shadow of the old habit continuing to lurk in the wings.

Something To Be Grateful For

Ten of Cups (Crocus) – You’re not alone in your emotional journey. There are others there that are along for the ride, willing to help in lifting you up and supporting you not just in your endeavors but also in your emotions. Don’t forget to practice gratitude, and show your gratitude to those around you.

DECK USED:  VINTAGE FLOWER FAERIES TAROT

Sometimes You Learn

Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s hot as fuck in my apartment right now.  Two days of over 80 degF weather and power washing going on outside (which means all windows have to stay closed during the day) means that my apartment is hovering at about 85 degF and, even with the AC on in the evenings, doesn’t really ever drop below 80 degF.  It’s just fucking miserable.

Vox Arcana Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is The Chariot, which is traditionally a representation of control, determination, and taking up the reigns to steer things towards their goals. The card is about action and movement, it’s about getting things done and getting where you want to go.

I had actually forgotten how wonderful so much of the artwork in this deck is.  This card is one of my favorites in the deck, in fact.

The theme of this card combined with the saying on the Flower Fortunes card, which is “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn,” speaks to me about the fact that sometimes it doesn’t matter how much control you exert on a situation or endeavor… it’s just not meant to be.  Instead, what’s meant to be is the lesson that you learn in -not- succeeding.

The message in today’s cards is that you can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try or how tight a grip you have on the situation.  No one can control everything all the time.  No one can force something into being that isn’t meant to be.  So don’t look at these moments when things don’t go as planned as as failures, but rather as an opportunity to learn from the experience how to do better and be better… which is never a bad thing.

DECK USED:  VOX ARCANA TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Question
: Messages my spirit guides have about loving myself?

Whispers of the Ocean OracleWhite Mouthed Moray EelConvey Your Meaning – You need to be more kind and ore respectful when speaking to yourself. Ease up on  your self-criticism.

Remember when communicating with others that people are not mind readers, and keep in mind that clarity is important for this reason. If you don’t think you are getting your message across?  Ask questions to make sure you are being understood correctly.

NudibranchEvery Step Counts – You need to work on making it okay to take things slow.  Small steps towards your goals are still steps forward.  Don’t discount them (or yourself) as less than just because it means you’re moving a bit slower than you think you should be. It’s only your own personal perception that says you’re moving slowly.  Ease up on those expectations.

LobsterShedding the Old – As a number of readings have mentioned lately, it’s time to let go of the things that are no longer working for you.  Let go and make room for new, healthier practices to take their place.  Sometimes letting go of what’s familiar can make you feel vulnerable.  It’s normal to feel this way, but that doesn’t mean you should hold on tighter to that security.  Let it go and try leaning into your faith to keep you feeling secure during these vulnerable times.

DECK USED:  WHISPERS OF THE OCEAN ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Why do people feel the need to distract themselves from reality?

Vox Arcana TarotReading Summary: Sometimes reality is too harsh  (Queen of Swords Rx) and our falls from grace too painful (The Tower). Distraction during these times can create in life a sense of positivity and joy that would otherwise be lacking (The Sun).

Take Away: Escapism is important for our mental health, especially when things are hard and we need a way to lift our spirits and bring something positive and enjoyable into our lives when things aren’t really the brightest.

Yes, escapism can be an unhealthy problem if it goes too far, but in small doses it can help us become healthier and happier when we find something that really allows us to “disconnect” for a bit.  It gives us an opportunity to decompress and exhale.

DECK USED:  VOX ARCANA TAROT

TheSphinxRevolution’s Gothic Seance Divination Prompt
Today’s Muse
: Mary Shelley
(Note: I’m using the writers in this challenge as a muse instead of as a mediumship/seance practice. So the questions are about me instead of about them.)

Wilderness Collide OracleWho do you epitomize? What kind of a figure is it? How do they influence you?

Land of Oz atop The Gathering – This is about Z. It’s about how she has taught you how to face challenges, and shown you through example how to face your fears. She is not just your mentor, but also one of your closest friends and shows you every day how moving forward and leaning on others can help make you braver and stronger than you are when you stay silent and alone.

What lies inside you that wants to be unleashed? Your inner power or inner demon.

Second Star – Let your inner wild child free to dance among the liminal spaces and explore the dark hollows of the forest and trees. You need to get out into the forest.  Stop putting it off, stop procrastinating and avoiding it just because it can’t be done in just the way  you want it to be done.  Instead, dive in and explore, find a new method and let your curiosity free.

Incidentally… your new FitBit offers GPS.  Perhaps you should look into a way to set that up for L to track you so that you can all go on a picnic and you can go off into the woods on your own for a bit.  They can track you from afar and ensure you are okay.  Close for help… but not too close for comfort.   Regardless… you need this time in nature.  Your soul needs to commune and wallow in nature.

How do the otherworlds and the unseen influence you?

Alight – They encourage you to be your unique self, to speak your unique story, and use your unique ‘voice’ to communicate with others.  They guide your moral compass and provide you with that spark within that allows your true self to shine brightly for all to see.  This encouragement is a support for your soul, and reinforcement that you are on the right path.

Guidance that Mary Shelley might have given you on your spiritual journey?

The Roots – Take a moment to step back and observe from an unbiased vantage point more often.  Seek out the motivations that drive your actions, and pay close attention to the unspoken motivations that drive others. Don’t judge, just observe and absorb.  Seek to understand the ‘why’ behind it all.  This knowledge will be extremely valuable to you moving forward.

DECK USED:  WILDERNESS COLLIDE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

So, I tried a new allergy med yesterday, and I decided that I’m going to switch over today.  If over exposed to allergens, I still have a problem. But it makes me not as sensitive as the old one that’s been slowly losing its effectiveness with me.   I also did the dentist today.   This latter event is something I hate with a passion.  My synesthesia makes the sound of the ultrasonic scaler makes all the hair on my body stand up and my skin go cold and prickle.   It’s really unpleasant and I’m glad it’s done and over with.  I know it’s necessary, even if I don’t like it.

Gideon’s Challenge

Keeping Score

A battle
between
dark and light
spreads
across the sky
A reflection of
each and every soul
Temptation
and integrity
intertwined
throughout eternity
piece and parcel
of us all

You can lose the battle
and still win the war

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Playlist

This is a fun repeat exercise that I’ve now used a few times and resurrect every few months!

Have you ever listened to a song and suddenly realized “This song is such a Tower/Emperor/Hanged Man song!”? This activity is based off of a love for music and how we associate music with the world around us.

Activity: Randomly draw five cards from your deck. For each card pick (or find) a song that you feel fits that card perfectly.

Bianco Nero Tarot

Death – One Headlight by The Wallflowers
https://youtu.be/Zzyfcys1aLM

Three of Wands – Time to Pretend by MGMT
https://youtu.be/B9dSYgd5Elk

Seven of Wands – Drive by Incubus
https://youtu.be/fgT9zGkiLig

Three of Swords – Perfect Situation by Weezer
https://youtu.be/jwv-iRvyDZg

Page of Swords – Losing My Religion by R.E.M.
https://youtu.be/xwtdhWltSIg

DECK USED:  BIANCO NERO TAROT