Month: April 2021

Take Your Time

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped in preference for a nap instead.  We played really late last night, and I needed the extra sleep.

TPagan Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal Cardsoday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of self inflicted situations brought about through themes dealing with temptations, addictions, and obsession.  For some this can speak directly to self destructive tendencies, while for others it is more about unhealthy urges that are not so much about self destruction as they are about pleasure or enjoyment… but can lead to detrimental outcomes if indulged in too often.

The thing is?  Almost anything and everything can be bad for you if you don’t apply a bit of moderation and control.  Anything.  And that is the message that the Devil card offers us more often than not.

In this particular card, the theme is more about peer pressure and doing things against your better judgement in the pursuit of approval. This theme in particular, combined with today’s Thera-Pet card is an indication that sometimes rest and recuperation is needed and you shouldn’t let the judgement from others keep you from taking that rest and recovery time that you need.

Healing takes time, and everyone heals at their own rate.  What one person might bounce back from in a few days may take someone else months to recover from.  This is true whether it’s about a physical injury, a mental health issue, a blow to one’s confidence, and many other scenarios where recovery time is needed.

Don’t allow your own unreasonable expectations nor those of others to push you into rushing your recovery.  Heal at your own pace, the pace that is healthy for you.  If they can’t understand that?  That’s their problem… not yours.

DECK USED:  PAGAN TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Taurus Season is Coming – In which areas am I being stubborn or bullish?

Quirky Creatives Tarot

Reading Summary:  Standing tall and ignoring the bad stuff (Strength) doesn’t mean the bad stuff goes away (Nine of Swords), it just spills over in other ways (Temperance Rx).

Take Away: These cards are essentially saying “Hey jackass, it’s not going to be the end of the world if you show a little bit more vulnerability to those around you.”  I have a habit of ignoring that which does not serve my means and ends.  Which means a lot of times when things are bothering me, I will turn away and ignore it, try to bury it, and just move on.

The problem?  My mind does not allow it to be that easy and as a result, these things can sometimes fester under the surface and end up causing anxiety and other stress related issues.  These issues then spill over to begin disrupting the inter-connectivity and balance going on in the rest of my life.

DECK USED:  QUIRKY CREATIVES TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What does it mean to live a good life?

Pagan TarotReading Summary: There is a time in life for seriousness and responsibility (Ten of Wands). There is a time in life for frivolity and having fun and being irresponsible (The Fool).

It is being able to differentiate between the two and applying each in its proper place that helps build good life (Two of Swords).

Take Away: You need both. Living a good life involves having both serious and responsible aspects, and balancing them with fun and frivolity. Too much of one or the other leads to an imbalance. So too can indulging in the wrong one at the wrong time.

DECK USED:  PAGAN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I started working again today.  I didn’t really want to, but it’s for the best that I at least worked on getting a few things done so that life won’t be quite as stressful in the next few days as I prepare to get orders done and shipped out.

Gideon’s Challenge

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Blue Sky Adventures

Johnny Cash
had riders
and Dumbo
had pink elephants
but for today
let’s explore the sky
among
bright blue hues
on the back
of a
long legged camel
while the faint
ghosts of jellyfish
float by

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Do The Thing

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was more of a quiet reflection time with measured breathing and piriformis stretching than the guided meditations that I’m used to.   That’s because I ran across this little graphic (to the right) and it really hit home on me today.

Resonating as it did, I decided to spend my meditation thinking on it, reflecting about what it had to say, and taking the advice given there to heart.  I know this advice is good, as it’s something that the cards have said to me many times.  Especially during recovery from my MDEs when I feel like I should be recovering faster, and yet the lingering traces seem to stretch on and on far longer than I’ve anticipated they might.

Inspiration Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is is the High Priestess card, which is traditionally about hidden knowledge and secret wisdom. It’s about the subconscious and an understanding of these quiet, secret places that we all have within us, and what lies within those places.  The High Priestess is about finding those places, about rousing one’s intuition, and reading between the lines.

There is an element of self love in the depiction of this particular High Priestess.  It lies within her posture and the tilt of her hand, the position of her hands, the eyes that lie closed instead of open indicating looking inward.

The addition of the Thera-Pets card indicates an experience earlier today when one of my clients reached out for a reading.  I was feeling a little unsure of myself as I’ve been feeling quite tender the last couple of days. That sensation of tender vulnerability can sometimes make reading for others difficult.   I did warn them of this prior to the reading, and they were good with going ahead anyway, though.

The reading went well and it turns out I really had nothing to worry about.  Sometimes?  You just have to do the thing and trust that it’s going to work out.

DECK USED:  INSPIRATION TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: How can I better ground myself at this time?

Petrak Tarot

Reading Summary: There is a color progression between these three cards that indicates how they should be red.  The depth of red in the Knight of Wands corresponds to the deep red in the lower half of the Six of Discs.  The connection here threads through the center Five of swords, but only barely.  The connection is also present between the center Five of Swords and the end Six of Discs through the depth of blue, also, the connection between the center card and the Knight of Wands is minimal.

What these connections say is that I need to make sure that I’m rooting myself in the Red.  Rooting myself, therefore, in the things that “light my fire” and spark my enthusiasm.  The blue is shared only at the top of all three cards.  The location of the blue hues combined with their depth speaks of the mind.  The Five of Swords touching upon the Six of Discs within the mind’s arena is about pulling back on the battle to reason my way out of doing the stuff that is good for me… avoiding being generous with myself.

Take Away:  The cards here are speaking about my time out in nature either hiking or forest bathing.  I have a great deal of pleasure and enthusiasm for this, and it helps me immensely in staying balanced and grounded.  But I find myself from time to time forcing myself to not do the things that help me feel better.  This is a self destructive urge manifesting into reluctance for self care… and the encouragement  here is to DO THE THING.  Be generous to myself and get my ass out there.

DECK USED:  PETRAK TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What piece of advice is needed right now to help you achieve your dreams?

Inspiration TarotReading Summary:  When uncertainty clouds your view (The Moon… eyes closed) make sure that you are tapping into your inner generosity (Six of Pentacles) and giving yourself room to ground, stabilize, and provide yourself the nurturing nourishment you need (Queen of Pentacles).  Also, take time to talk to Z (Six of Pentacles beside Queen of Pentacles)

Take Away: The message in these cards is twofold.  Both relate to situations and instances when I’m feeling the need to shirk away from confusion and feeling particularly uncomfortable with “being in the dark”.

During these times, these cards indicate that I need to pause and remember that it’s okay to be afraid and give myself the space, self care, and self kindness needed to get through these situations.

Secondly, this specific combination of cards (the Six of Pentacles combined with the Queen of Pentacles) is Z.  The cards here are reminding me that speaking to Z during these times can be infinitely beneficial.

DECK USED:  INSPIRATION TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I told Gideon about feeling tender the last couple of days.  I really don’t want him thinking I’m not interested in playing both the sets of chars that we made.  I like them both a lot.  I just have been feeling a bit tender and I guess that’s making me lean more towards the nurturing dynamic right now in play.

Gideon’s Challenge

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Spring Lilacs

Fragrant blooms
open wide
from tiny buds
to delicate flowers
vibrant
and brave
with shining colors
to welcome spring
and encourage
the bees
to awaken
from slumber
and explore
yellow offerings.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Sacral Connections

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Future Ancestor Tarot

My sacral center energy right now.

Two of Needles – A bit conflicted.  This isn’t really surprising considering that it’s now Wednesday and you’re currently creeping towards the time when you’ll need to go back to work. It’s funny in a way, because when you started doing these vacations last year, you couldn’t wait to leap back in to work. This time though? You’re feeling a bit of conflict and resistance.

Tension I’m currently holding in this area.

Five of Cups – Too much time spent focusing on what’s not working, and not enough effort spent focusing on what is. There’s lots of positive things to focus on.  You need to start turning your attention in that direction instead of allowing those things that didn’t work to continue to bug you.

How can I release this tension?

Eight of Cups – Move on.  Focus on what you can do different and where you can go from here. You learn from your mistakes and what doesn’t work.  These moments of failure are guideposts for adapting and moving forward.  Don’t look at them as anything else.

Emotions I repress that I need to allow myself to feel.

Listener of Needles – Emotions related to my mother.  This is not something I’m entirely comfortable with delving into. The whole dealing with my mother or my emotions concerning her is a bit of a sensitive subject. The shift in our relationship that happened when my father passed and I realized just what kind of person she is beneath the facade she prefers to present to both her children and the world… It has become awkward.  And these negative emotions that the shift has inspired don’t have anywhere to really go.

The outcome of allowing myself to feel.

Explorer of Needles – Movement instead of stagnancy. New perspectives, and perhaps a new way to look at my mother and our relationship. Essentially it would allow me to move forward emotionally in this area of things instead of stewing in the discomfort of where we currently stand.

How can I become better connected to my emotions?

The Lovers – Continue focusing on making good decisions that foster that connection.  Over the past year you have been working on connecting more to your emotions and finding a better balance. You need to continue to take each choice and change of direction you come upon, and weigh it carefully against what you want to accomplish with your emotional growth before coming to a decision.

DECK USED:  FUTURE ANCESTOR TAROT

Bending In The Wind

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped again.  This time it wasn’t interruptions, though.  It was sleep.  I got home from the farm and took a shower, then sat my ass down on the bed for a minute to look at the messages on my phone and… fell asleep.  It was a good nap tho!

Botanical Grace Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Fire (Wands) which is traditionally a representation of allowing your enthusiasm for something to overburden you to the point of overwhelm and potential burnout.

I’m actually a bit confused by this card due to the illustration.  The herb that is (according to the guide) supposed to be represented by this card is Zanthoxylum americanum (Prickly Ash Bark), but the illustration on this card looks like Jasminum flowers.

What I find today is that the today resides not so much in what card popped out (Ten of Fire) but rather the confusion that surrounds the card’s illustration.

Combined with the message on the Thera-pets card for today, what we see here is a message about acceptance and adaptability.   Don’t allow the unexpected to knock you off track or make you doubt yourself.  Stay open to new experiences and new perspectives.  Bend like a tree in the wind and you will weather the changes far easier than if you hold yourself rigid in the storm.

DECK USED:  BOTANICAL GRACE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The #httSelfImprovementTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What needs to be released to unburden my soul?

Lunaria Tarot

Reading Summary: Trying to pretend you can ignore (Five of Inkwells) new ideas and inspiration (Ace of Pens) is creating a situation where you end up judging yourself harshly (Judgement) and allowing anxiety to thrive (Nine of Pens).

Take Away:  Essentially?  The cards here are telling me to pull my head out of my ass and start writing down my ideas again as they come up.  Allow them to pour out onto paper and keep a log of them.  As a result I will feel like they have been preserved and not be so down on myself for not pursuing them right away, or forgetting them and then feeling anxious about what I’ve lost with my forgetfulness.

DECK USED:  LUNARIA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Trolley Problem: Do you divert the course of nature let one person die to save five strangers, or let nature take its course and let five people die?

Botanical Grace Tarot Reading Summary: Instinctive reaction (in the fire colors within the first two cards).  I would instantly go for (Two of Fire Rx) the thing I feel passion for (Knight of Fire). And then spend the rest of my life judging myself (Judgement) and retreating to beat myself up inside (The Hermit Rx atop Eight of Water).

Take Away: That sounds about right. Honestly?  I’m a selfish fuck and… I would probably kill the five to save the one that matters to me.

In that moment of panic? I can absolutely see myself making that choice, no matter how wrong it might feel later on down the road (or how wrong it might feel if I’d taken time to think). No time to think? I’d just do it… then spent the rest of my life beating myself up about it.

DECK USED:  BOTANICAL GRACE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I forced myself not to work today, even though I was very, very tempted to do some work.  I want to try and give myself the most rest and recuperation that I can.   Going back to work will happen soon enough.