Month: March 2021

Still Moving

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Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes long and it was another of the self-guided meditations using my water drops music and my newly learned mantra techniques from the Oak app.  I extended the bells in my interval timer as well to stretch my time in each position of my piriformis stretching for the longer period in meditation.  It seemed to work really well for me and although there was a lot of resistance to actually doing the meditation, once I was doing it?  It went smoothly.

The Last Unicorn Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, home life, and health. Being of the Pentacles suit, this often translates into a slow but steady progress sustained through determination.

I find the Thera-Pets card that was paired with today’s card of the day to be extremely fitting.  Sometimes, when we’re working on getting where we want to go, it can feel like things should be moving faster.  As a result, we take this slow progress as a failure.  Or, at least, I know that there are times when I do this.

The Knight of Pentacles combined with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reminder that any progress is still progress.  Even if you have to take things in baby steps and do a tiny bit at a time.  Even if some days your energy is so low that all you do is plan instead of act. It’s still progress.  You’re still moving.  That’s what’s important.

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: What blessing do I need to ask from the universe right now?

Tarot Art Nouveau

 Reading Summary: More hope, more connection (The Star), and more patience for my growth (Seven of Coins). The ability to more easily be present in the moment, instead of worrying about the past or the future (Four of Cups).

There is also a secondary message here threaded through the blue in the cards that encourages sating my need to spend some alone time (Four of Cups) in nature (Seven of Pentacles), and use that time to seek out stronger connections with my spiritual path through my bond with the earth (The Star).

Take Away:  What I need to ask for from the universe is a stronger bond with feelings of hope and connection with the world around me through mindfulness and reflection while practicing patience in concern to my growth so that I will be allowed to grow at my own pace instead of the pace I think I should be moving at.

The secondary message is not so much about what I need to ask for, but an answer in how to find what I need.

DECK USED:  TAROT ART NOUVEAU

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: My spirituality and intuition both require being more present in the moment. How can I go about making that happen?

The Last Unicorn TarotReading Summary: Take time healing your wounds from the past (Six of Cups). Don’t push yourself so hard you become overwhelmed with the process (Ten of Wands Rx) and you will be much happier as will those around you (Three of Cups).

Take Away: So many reminders lately to make sure I am practicing patience.  I know it’s about the recovery and how, because I’m feeling better lately, I’m at risk of falling into old habits of piling on so many things to do that I start the cycle of burnout and recovery all over again.  That is what is being referenced here, as well.

The cards here are indicating that by repeating this cycle I’m making more than myself miserable and I need to practice patience with myself and my healing (not just my recovery, but my slowly developing healing of events in my path).

Patience will breed mindfulness, as moving slower gives you more time to linger and smell the roses, yeah?

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I remembered to put on lip balm before bed, which is something I used to do pretty often but stopped sometime in the past few months for some reason. Because of allergies, I often breathe through my mouth in my sleep and without the lip balm, my lips end up cracked and chapped a result.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Aloe Vera TeethThe Duality

A healing touch
against the soul
slick balm
brushes soft
to soothe and calm
what was once raw
then
in a savage shift
teeth sink in
to break flesh

bleed for me

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Secret Tarot, Angelarium Year One and Year Two, Elemental Tarot

Earth – Six of Chalices atop Three of Wands, Zuriel – It is only through finding a balance between your experiences in the past and your plans for the future that you’ll find peace in the present.  It can often feel like the past and the future are opposing forces, one pulling away from you to the left, and one stretching out ahead into the future on the right. This perception leaves the present seemingly alone and as a result abandoned as we spend so much time touching one or the other on either side that we forget… it is mindfulness in the moment that can create the balance needed between the two. Get your ass back into meditating daily.  It is as essential as taking a leak first thing in the morning or taking your meds before you go to sleep at night, so stop skipping it.

Air – Ace of Swords atop Knave of Wands, Remiel – Pluck from the tangled pile of new ideas you have collected and find one that sparks your interest and allows you to learn something new to add to your repertoire of passions and skills. Note that this advice speaks of one… one idea.  One project.  One new thing.  Do not add many to your plate or it will be too much.  Just one.   Try exploring just this one thing for a while, allow it to flourish and have fun with it.  It has the potential to grow into something beautiful if you don’t smother by overcrowding it with too many  other things.

Water – Two of Wands, The Gate of Sahaqiel – It’s time to start focusing on connecting more strongly to your intuition.  Make sure that you are making space for spiritual pursuits and your connections therein.  Connecting to the divine is important, and sometimes that means you have to intentionally make plans for it in order to fit it in.  In the tail end of your recovery it’s especially important that you keep in mind that these things also need to be factored in or the end up left behind.

Fire – The Wheel, Knave of Chalices, Sandalphon – New beginnings are upon you right now as you find yourself in the last dregs of your depression’s recovery.  Acknowledge this new start for the opportunity it is to learn a new way of doing things moving forward and turning those things that have not worked for you around into something better. Sometimes your efforts may bite you on the ass, but we are given opportunities in order to take them and try… so don’t let this opportunity pass you by.  Use it to try something new and something better, resurrecting new life from the ashes of what you leave behind.

Waning – Cave (Protection) – Uncurl from your shell and stretch.  The time to hide yourself beneath the shell that protects you from the harm others can create when you are vulnerable is at an end.  You are close enough to the surface now to safely stretch your arms wide and greet the world on your own terms once more.

Waxing – North (Expansion) – Be true to yourself and the moral compass you know so well.  Be brave and be strong as you continue along your path and remember that it is not a single lesson we learn in life, but rather many over the course of our time.  Now is a time to explore and stretch your wings after so much time cramped in the dark.

Take Away – My recovery from depression is sliding into its last phase before solid ground is once more beneath my feet.  Now is a time to stretch and take in the sunlight and fresh air.  Pick a project that inspires and explore its potential, but be sure not to overwhelm myself with too much focus on the past or the future.  Put more focus into making sure I’m meditating each day and consciously taking the time and effort to stay connected to my spiritual path as I begin to “awaken” from the dark pit’s hold upon me.

DECKS USED:  SECRET TAROT, ANGELARIUM CARDS YEAR ONE AND YEAR TWO, ELEMENTAL ORACLE

Keep Going

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IMG_9948Today’s meditation was a little different than the norm because I didn’t use a timer at all, nor a guide.  I think the meditation was about a half hour long, but I’m not entirely sure. Instead of using these things, I chose to simply lay quietly and take time to breathe and listen to the world going about it’s business beyond my windows and walls. I did some small stretching, but nothing major, it was more just about being quiet and not allowing my brain to go through its normal constant litany of what needs done and what not to forget before I manage to write it all down.

Waterfall Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of leaving behind (and/or escaping) unhealthy or untenable situations for something better. Where the Eight of Cups is a decision based on an emotional reaction, in the Six of Swords the leaving is about practicality, and is rational and planned.

With how many changes have been going on in my life lately, from the climb out of depression’s pit to the shifts in my business due to the pandemic’s ever changing requirements, the Six of Swords is a fitting card.

Changes bring with them a sense of instability and uncertainty more often than not, and I’ve felt a good deal of that over the past few weeks as I adjusted (yet again) to the changes and adjustments that needed to be made for my business, and continued my climb out of the dark of depression into the light.   I am still climbing, but I can feel the improvement with each day that passes.  That improvement is still in baby steps, but those steps are perceptible now.

The combination of the Six of Swords with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reassurance that it is going to work out.  I’m headed in the right direction, I’m doing everything I can to move things forward and keep them going in the right direction.

Keep doing what you’re doing to keep things moving in a healthy direction and everything’s going to work out just fine.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Today I plant my seeds of growth knowing that…

Very Little Tarot

Reading Summary: …moving forward with your emotional growth (Page of Cups) has the potential to be a harrowing experience (Nine of Swords). But keep in mind that it’s something you really want to do (Ace of Wands), even if you have to stumble a bit along the way (The Fool) and feel like you’re fucking up now and then (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  There are times when trying to learn about and learn how to handle my own emotions makes me feel like a fucking idiot. It’s often a struggle and can be really disheartening, it can also lead to a bit of anxiety now and then when I can’t find the words to express an emotion I’ve yet to actually put a name to. During these times of struggle, I need to remember that the emotional growth I’m seeking is something I want… very much.  More than enough to deal with the discomfort of growing pains along the way.

DECK USED:  VERY LITTLE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Waterfall TarotReading Summary: Don’t get distracted (Three of Cups Rx) or allow yourself to become stagnant (Death Rx). Keep your eye on the prize and stay focused.  You’re not out of the woods yet, but you’re getting there (Page of Swords).

Take Away: My depression has been the focus of my readings for some time and goddamn if it doesn’t feel like beating a dead horse some times. But… It’s not done yet.  I’m still climbing.  I’m still seeking level ground and it’s going to take a bit longer to get there. The cards here indicate I need to make sure I stay focused on that goal and not allow distractions to turn into stagnancy that will hold me back or cause regression.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I allowed myself to do things at my own pace today instead of pushing my ass to get going at a faster speed. I noticed this because I did feel the urge to push, but consciously made the choice to pause and breathe, then keep on at that slower and more relaxed pace.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Snowy FieldBroken Teeth

Fence posts
like broken teeth
line up in a row
to stagger under
the storm
then try to pretend
all is well
when blue skies
shine once more
but frozen mornings
show cracks
in the wood
and they don’t
stand quite as
straight as before

neither do we

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Pending Shadows

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Do you know you have shadow work hanging around but also know that you don’t have the mental energy to tackle it all yet? Do some mental and emotional preparation with these.
Theme: Make myself aware of what things I’m going to need to deal with but can’t yet.”

Women Of History Playing Cards1.  What am I going to need to deal with soon, but right now I’m not ready yet?
Three of Diamonds atop King of Spades

Taxes.  Yes, I know the deadline is coming up, and I have quite a bit to get done in the interim between now and when I meet with my accountant again next month, but it’s one of those things that I need to work on one step at a time and I’m still not quite clear headed enough to manage it.  This might mean I need to file an extension this year.

Hopefully that will not be the case and with the help of L and Z as well as the accountant, I can get it done and checked and double checked in time.  I am aware that the depression cut into the time I would have normally spent on this over the past two months though, so it’s possible that extension might end up necessary whether I like it or not.

2.  Where did this come from?
Eight of Diamonds

Having a healthy and thriving business is something I’ve built up over time and as a result it seems the taxes involved become more of a pain in the ass with each passing year.  Fortunately, I have a good accountant on my side to help me get through  it.

3.  What steps should I healthily be taking now?
Five of Diamonds

Recognize that my feelings of scarcity are there to create a buffer of care and caution right now.  It allows me to step back and look at things with an unbiased and practical eye.  I recognize that these feelings of scarcity are false, but I can use them to better prepare and allow for a level of impartiality that would otherwise be difficult to accomplish.

4.  How will I know it’s time?
Eight of Spades

When I start feeling restless in my inaction, it will be time to finally use my skills and abilities to step forward and get moving on this.  Those steps can be small, just one small step in front of the other.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF HISTORY PLAYING CARDS