Month: March 2020

Searching for Balance

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IMG_3239Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and focused upon relaxing with an open heart.   It included a lengthy body scan and guided relaxation before moving on to focusing upon opening up the heart chakra and directing caring warmth first to the self, and then outward to others you know, and then the world at large.

I’ve done this sort of meditation before and it’s very relaxing.  That said, I wasn’t particularly fond of the format of the meditation I used today.  It ended too abruptly for my taste, and the narrator was a bit too… measured and emotionless.

Ace of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of new beginnings, potential, and the planting of seeds in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, and communication with others.

The imagery in this card makes me connect more to the energy of the Knight of Swords than the Ace, though. I see strength and movement and power.  I also can see vulnerability, though.  Although the unicorn is powerful and the girl is not shielded from the flying arrows and battle around her.   She clings to the mount, but she is bare of foot and without armor.

The message that I see in this card is about balance.  Yes, it’s important to go after what you want, but do not become so focused upon the prize that you forget you are more than just a knight… you are also a vulnerable in a nightgown clinging to a unicorn.  It’s okay to be soft.  It’s okay to be gentle and vulnerable .  It is possible to be both vulnerable… and strong.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How am I being invited to make space for rest at this time?

New Choice Tarot de Marseille

Reading Summary: All of this defensive energy (Seven of Wands) birthed by the present uncertainty (La Lune) is here to teach me (Le Pope) how to better enjoy my down times (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Okay, so this is a crap-ass way to learn a new lesson, but I do understand.  I understand that I need to let up.  I understand that there’s nothing I can do now to protect myself from what may come.  Not in this instance.  I understand that I just need to sit back and wait.   The problem is… that is not in my nature. It goes against everything I have ever been. 

And that’s the point.  I have to learn something else.  Something new.  Something different. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail the whole way through the lesson to get there.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in that area? (Built of yesterday’s cards.)

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  Focus on my skills and those things under my control (Eight of Discs). Take time to plan ahead (Two of Wands), but not from a defensive stance, but from one of innovation toward the future (Page of Discs).

Take Away:  This is what I am trying to keep my focus on during this time. Because I am unable to simply sit and wait, I am trying to keep my focus on prepping for the future and planning for when things lift and settle again. I want to be able to hit the ground running when things get to a point where I’m able to do just that.  Instead of entertaining paranoia and catastrophizing worry… I need to keep my eyes on what I can do instead of what I can’t.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I use my senses to tune into my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

This is about doing what I’ve been doing. It’s about not allowing uncertainty to throw up walls that my intuition is then muffled by.    This isn’t about my  other senses, as I had thought that it would be.  I thought that the cards would speak to me about the five senses of smell and touch, hearing and taste and sight.

Instead, this is about allowing my intuition freedom from the walls that muffle and contain when they rise up in order to protect myself from the unknown.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT

Soaking Up Some Vitamin D

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Today’s meditation was delayed until tonight when I go to bed because today has been quite busy and just didn’t have the time (or want to take time from other things, if I’m honest) to settle in and do the meditation earlier in the day.  Morning meditation is definitely more beneficial for me, though, on a whole.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of themes that include optimism,  fun, and positivity.

I still don’t see that in this card, to be honest.  But that seems to be the theme of this deck as a whole that my intuitive hits upon the imagery are of an entirely different vein than traditional meanings, or even the meanings in the book that came with the deck.

What I see in the imagery of this card today has to do with the defensive stance of the woman in the card, and the radiant power behind her.  That power feels like it is empowering her and providing strength.

What I see here is that I need some time outside, and… that’s fitting since that’s exactly what went on today.   Not around people…. okay so mostly not around people.   I took my sister and Z to the woods for a walk and we stopped over at the wetlands to enjoy some sun as well.     There were no other people around, and it was a nice (and needed) outing that seems to have given not just our bodies but our souls a refreshing breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I being invited to reflect upon this spring?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: How I do things and how I can do them differently (l’Appeso) and better (La Giustizia) in order to get more out of life (Four of Cups) and foster a better outcome (La Torre Rx).

Take Away:  At the beginning of the year, I wanted to start restructuring how I did things with my business, but it had to be put off because of that fog of fear created as the reactions to last fall’s letter caught up with me.   Now, I am essentially being forced into slowing down and the cards are indicating that this situation is the prime opportunity I need to begin looking at making some changes  to better balance not just my business, but my home life as well.  It’s time to start looking at how I can do things differently moving forward, and start considering what small changes I can start making to move toward that vision.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Letting my thoughts run away with me until I’m so wrapped up in them and so worked up by them that I’m stuck in a state of catastrophizing.

Take Away:  So I readily admit this is absolutely something that I do… and yet even though I am aware I do it and don’t particularly find it at all wise or useful?  I still somehow manage to do it anyway.  I think it might be a part of the cycle of how I motivate myself to do shit I don’t really want to do… but turned into an avenue that becomes a detriment rather than useful.

DECK USED:  WILDWOOD TAROT (TRIMMED)

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Draw a card and record the feelings you experience.

Jonasa Jaus TarotShe is protected and can therefore let go and be free.  She is sensual, and he is rapt. He watches on, holding flowers that are just for her… even if the truth is she handed them to him to hold for her rather than them being a gift.  The true gift here is his protection

The dynamic between the cards feels like a romance.  A secret love not acted upon by either party due to station, or due to the sweet taste of drawing out the temptation into a seduction all its own.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday

Earth – Hierophant, Ten of Coins, New Moon – Sharing knowledge with the community and leading them on a new adventure, using that knowledge to empower them into moving forward into something new.  I will be teaching a lesson over in Tarotholics on Wednesday evening about intuitive interpretation of card combinations as a follow up on the intuitive course that I taught last month.  The cards indicate that it will be important to focus here this week so that I am sure to be prepared.

Air – High Priestess and Third of Spring – It’s okay to go off the deep end into the mystery.  It’s okay to follow your curiosity and those little niggling nudges that drive you forward into discovery and realization.  Set your brain aside this week and take some time to just go with the flow.  Don’t be afraid of getting lost… that, too, can be its own adventure.

Water – The Star and Spring Equinox – Don’t allow worries and doubts to drag you down.  Spring is a time for hope and rebirth.  In these difficult times, it’s even more important to focus upon that hope and rebirth and allow the fresh air of spring to wash through your emotions so that they are given the room to grow rather than made to wither and stagnate.

Fire – Nine of Cups, Six of Swords, Betrayed King – If you don’t find a better way to share the wealth and enjoy it with others instead of alone, you’re going to be sorry.  This associates with my readings on Saturday, which spoke of making sure that there is appreciation for the time I’m spending with loved ones over the term of this crisis. I very much like alone time, but the cards clearly indicate I need to make the most of this opportunity for something different.

Waning – The Opera – Everything isn’t about you.  Make sure that you are leaving room for others to say their piece and share their own story.

Waxing – The Tunnel –  A new opportunity and metamorphosis, this card is an indication that I need to focus on that light at the end of the tunnel.  There IS a light, even if at the moment it is dim and hard to see.   Things will be different on the other side of that threshold, but that’s okay.  Just keep focused on reaching the light and you can worry about what comes after… after you get there.

Take Away –  This is a message of hope.  It’s about fostering hope in others, and also within myself.  It’s about making sure that I am doing what needs done to stay mentally and emotionally healthy, and seeking to ease me into a path that will cause my feelings of “rudderlessness” to ease a bit during this time.

DECKS USED:  EIGHT COINS TATTOO TAROT, NORMAL TAROT 2: REVENGE, CARTES DIVINATOIRES D’ALGARIEL

Untying Inner Knots

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IMG_3218Today’s meditation was just over sixteen minutes long and focused upon the Adrian Corday post that is included here in this blog post.   I found that quote on Instagram, and it really struck home.

I felt that it was important to take some time to count my blessings and really focus in on what I have that is good in my life right now.   What’s good in my life includes that my sister and I are safe and that Z is here and safe as well.   No, none of us can know if we’re infected or not since it can take up to 14 days to show symptoms after infection… but we’re safe and we’re good and after a tip given to me by a friend on YouTube in the morning today?  We even have food.

That last one takes a lot of weight off my shoulders.  I’m not good at inactivity, but that’s okay too.  I have plenty to keep me busy.

All of that was my focus in my meditation today.  Well, that and a full body scan, of course… just because I like those.

Nine of Pentacles - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Pentacles which is often traditionally interpreted as independence, abundance, and the “lap of luxury”.

I actually do see independence here.  It’s sort of interesting, because I haven’t had a lot of cards come up in either this deck or the other one I’m using this month for daily pulls that has had an intuitive interpretation that aligns with traditional meanings.

That said?  That is where the similarity ends.  As although I see independence in this card, I also see… need.  She’s gaunt and her cheeks are hollow, her expression appearing to me today as holding the ache of longing.   What I see here is that her independence has caused this predicament… and thus the message that I see in today’s card is that independence is only as good as what it gives you when you have it.

If independence causes a sense of seclusion and loneliness?  Then perhaps it’s time to ease up a bit and allow others in.    For me, this translates into a reminder to enjoy this time together with L and Z.   I’m not used to such constant contact with others and it can be a bit straining for me, but at the same time?  It’s an opportunity to appreciate just how much they mean to me… and just how much they love me.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better express gratitude for my current opportunities?

Green Witch Tarot

Reading Summary:  By taking advantage of this time of opportunity and closeness with those around me and enjoying them to the fullest.

Take Away:  The forced seclusion with L and Z is providing me with an opportunity to delve into a deeper relationship with both of them (Ace of Cups) and I need to sit back and allow their love in and share mine in turn with them (King of Cups).  By taking this time to enjoy their presence rather than chafing under it (Three of Cups) I will find myself developing a deeper abundance and wealth that goes far beyond that of coin (Ten of Pentacles).

DECK USED:  GREEN WITCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3

Celtic Dragon TarotWhat do I need to let go of to…

Ease My Mind:  It’s okay to slack off a bit… especially during this time.  Try not to allow yourself to get so wrapped up in the process of “getting things done” that you lose the joy of being able to relax for a bit.  You have enough to worry about and enough going on. You don’t need to add burnout into the mix.

Lighten My Heart:  My incessant need to always be moving forward.  There are things I can do to prepare for later, but there’s no real moving forward right now.  I need to find a way to ease that need and let it relax.  I can’t be in control of everything right now, no matter how much I want to be or how much my inner self demands it.

Free My Creative Spark:  It’s time to let go of the intensive juggling I do between all the different aspects of my life.  All those balls I usually keep aloft have crashed to the ground.  Stop straining and pushing at myself so hard to juggle responsibilities that don’t even exist at the moment.  This has to do not so much with the fact I’m still juggling them, but that there is an inner straining push within me to do the juggling regardless of the fact there’s no balls there to juggle right now.

DECK USED:  CELTIC DRAGON TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to know about my intuitive abilities?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary:  I have a habit of disconnecting and stepping back (High Priestess) from my innate abilities (Page of Wands) when  I become tense (Nine of Pentacles) and/or overwhelmed (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  So when I become overwhelmed or tense, I have a habit of setting up barriers that cause me to lose sight of where I want to go and step back into a retreat.  This causes a muffling wall between myself and the messages of my intuition, making it harder for me to pick up those messages I would otherwise easily hear and obey without question.  Because of this I can often end up stunting growth and ending up having to “start over”, losing a portion of the progress I’ve made in the process.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL TOTEM TAROT

 

Practicing Patience

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IMG_3202Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long… and I did it twice.   It started out with a full body scan, which is one of my favorite ways to meditate, and then settled on focusing on the breath for the majority of the time.

The message of the guided meditation, though, was one of self care.  It was about being kind to yourself and not allowing that inner critic free reign to tear yourself down.  That can be extremely tempting and easy to fall into during times of stress like the stress that we are all under around the world at the moment.  The meditation encouraged making sure you are keeping a focus on being kind to yourself, and not tearing into yourself for those things that are out of your control.

Eight of Cups - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of retreat and “stepping away” emotionally from a person or situation.

Once again, though, this deck speaks to me through its imagery rather than through any traditional interpretation, because what really stands out to me in this card is the nearly fully submerged person in the water, and the held up finger. In the book it speaks of that hand being an indication of the choice to either emerge from the water or not.   But what it speaks to me today is about waiting and patience.

It’s about the pause.  Right now in my area everyone and everything is in a sort of pause.  The message in today’s card is a reminder to wait.  Just wait. Gather what you need to survive (as referenced by the dishes  along the shore of the pond) and just wait.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I release self-doubt in my abilities?

Whispering Spirits Tarot

Reading Summary: Accept that those abilities are not a fluke (Five of Swords) and leave room for compassionate strength (King of Cups) as I look for ways to move forward both now… and later (Two of Wands).

Take Away:  With everything at a forced standstill right now, there’s a lot of room for self-doubts to creep in and muddle up the mind and emotions.  To keep that from happening it’s important that I keep in mind that the skills and abilities that I have are not a fluke.  They aren’t something that are going to disappear, but are hard earned and honed over time.  Being kind to myself and appreciating my strengths as strengths is important to keeping my self doubts under control,  as is making plans so that I don’t fall into habits of morose pessimism and other negative thinking that can begin to fester when I am left rudderless.

DECK USED:  WHISPERING SPIRITS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to take more pride in?

Enchanted Tarot Mini Version

Reading Summary: My ability to provide guidance and direction (Three of Wands) out of the shadows and into the light (Eight of Swords) for myself and others  through my skills and abilities (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This seems to be the theme of my personal readings today.  That is, that I have the skills and abilities to lead by example, and to provide both myself and others with the sense of hope and direction needed to keep the fog of depression and directionless discouragement from taking hold.

DECK USED:  ENCHANTED TAROT MINI VERSION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How does my intuition speak to me?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary:  Loudly (Dragon in the Seven of Chalices) and often (Knight of Wands), and in very mysterious ways that are difficult to grasp (Moon).

Oddly, this one took me a minute.  I think it is the mix between the intuitive hits and the traditional meanings in the cards here that gave me pause.   It’s almost like… a different dialect of the language I am used to reading.  New… different, and yet familiar enough to work it out.

Take Away: I was actually expecting something that described the “how” as in how I experience my intuition’s voice.  Instead, the message here is that the “how” is less about methods and more about an overall interpretation of “how”.

That is to say that how my intuition speaks to me is with a constant stream of input that is quite loud and always there, always pushing and driving and directing the way forward.  Those mysterious ways indicated by the Moon card speaking of the fact that that sometimes my “intuition” may be more than just intuition.  I’ve recently been considering that my spirit guides have been using the language/experience of my intuition in order to communicate with me as well.

DECK USED:  ARCANA IRIS SACRA TAROT

Je n’ai Pas Peur

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Today’s meditation was delayed because I wanted to hop online and spend time with you… and then I ended up having to go pick up Z, which meant that a few hours out of my day were swiped by driving like a bat out of hell north and back south again.

At least while I was up there I was able to both ship out a shipment, and put a hold on my mail up there for the time being so that I won’t have to go back up again until restrictions lift on the border so that I can take Z back home.

I will meditate before bed, of course.

Six of Wands - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Six of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of harmony and synergy in the areas of one’s drive, passions, and ambitions.  This is often portrayed with themes that include public recognition or accolades, pride and self confidence, progress and especially success.

This isn’t entirely what I see in this card today, if I am honest.  I see a “charge” rather than a parade of recognition and accolades.   I see a “go get’em” push, complete with the weapons necessary to take what is yours and go after what is needed.  This is that moment before the accolades come rolling in.  The moment when you must follow your moral compass and your passions and fight for what is right for you.  This interpretation is reinforced by the French words “Je n’ai pas peur” that’s emblazoned upon the banner the bird wears, which translates to “I am not afraid”.

The message in today’s card is to go after what is important to you.  Go after it.  Fight for it.  Grab hold with both hands, and don’t let go.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What seeds do I have the opportunity to plant in my life at this time?

Tarocco delle Vetrate

Reading Summary:  A chance to find a better balance (Two of Coins) between my relationships (Two of Cups) and my passions (Wands) by creating better boundaries for myself (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  It’s no secret that I allow myself to get so wrapped up in my goals and ambitions that I often forget to pay as much attention as I should to my loved ones.  The problem is that, in my case, the path to my goals and ambitions is directly connected through my passions and interests.  So… my drive takes over and I get swallowed up in it.

With everything that’s going on right now, the cards indicate that this is a prime opportunity to work on finding a better balance in this area.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DELLE VETRATE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better handle conflict?

Tarot of the Silicone Dawn

Reading Summary:  Look for a better way (Six of Swords) that involves using your creativity and imagination (Page of Cups) to overcome conflict (Five of Swords) and bring your nurturing spirit forward (The Empress) as a new beginning surfaces when the conflict comes to an end (The World).

Take Away:  Handling conflict is more than about what happens in the moment.  It’s about what happens after as well.  The card indicate that in the moment of conflict, I need to lean heavily upon my creativity and imagination to find an “outside the box” way of overcoming whatever that conflict is at the time.  But, the cards also are making it clear that  what comes after is also important.  I need to remember to be kind to myself and others in the aftermath so that the new beginnings that come afterward will be a healthy one.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SILICONE DAWN

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I safely enhance my intuitive abilities?

78Tarot Elemental Tarot of the Natural

Reading Summary: Own it.  A hell of a lot of cards to say such a simple answer, but that’s exactly what I see her.   Own It.

Take Away:  There is a crapload of self-possessed power in these cards and their imagery.  It’s almost overpowering and I honestly didn’t bother to break down the cards into their specific messages because all together as a whole the message is very loud and clear.

That said?  I was a little surprised I didn’t get the “don’t do it” response again.  This question has been asked multiple times (in different ways) throughout this month’s Connect With Your Deck challenge, and every time the cards have made it clear I’m where things are and to advance would upset balance and require sacrifice I wasn’t willing to give.

It’s something in the phrasing of “safely enhance” that changed the message… and that message is “Own It“.

DECK USED:  78TAROT ELEMENTAL TAROT OF THE NATURAL