Month: February 2020

The “How” of It All

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Today’s meditation was about seven minutes long and was interrupted by THREE f’ing phone calls.  I would have started over, but then J showed up and it was time to go.  In the end I gave up and decided that I would try again tonight before bed.

Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning both cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are The Moon and the Three of Cups.

When I received The Moon card the other day, it was about my longing to be out in nature and how sometimes I just can’t get out there enough to sate that longing inside of me.

Today’s draw is an expansion on that, which speaks of inviting those I love to assist me in finding the time and opportunity to spend time in those places I love so much.  My loved ones are there for me, to support me and help me in finding those things in life that bring me joy.  It’s important that I don’t just acknowledge that, but allow that to happen and reach for that support when I need it.

Reaching for that support is a repeating theme in the cards lately, and I hear the message loud and clear, even if it seems I’m having a hard time with the “how” of it all.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my current relationship with my ancestors and guides?

Britt's Third Eye Tarot

Reading Summary:  Keep working at it (Temperance), keep researching (Three of Pentacles) and seeking a good balance between responsibilities and seeking that connection (Queen of Pentacles). Things are coming along, but it’s going to take some time cuz there’s going to be some ups and downs involved (Wheel of Fortune) in convincing them of my sincerity.

Take Away:  Essentially?  I’m on the right track both in my private efforts to connect with my ancestors and guides, in reaching out to others for information and research, and in finding a good balance between the responsibilities of life and my spiritual path.  But it’s going to take some time.  I’ve spent my life ignoring them and putting the effort to communicate entirely in their court, and if I want to connect?  I’m going to have to stay the course until I’ve proven to them that it’s what I really want.

DECK USED:  BRITT’S THIRD EYE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What one thing can I do today to make a loved one’s life better?

Dame Darcy's Queen Alice Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: The thing I can do that would most help a loved one is help them with their burdens.  I was thinking of L when drawing these cards, and it looks like what she needs is something very similar to myself at the moment.  That is to say, someone to help remind her of the long-term view and set her free of the self-restraining thoughts that are making her feel overwhelmed with her burdens and responsibilities.

Although I haven’t had the chance to see her today, I think I might sit down with her and have a heart to heart tomorrow.  Just some quiet time and a talk about how we’re both feeling and how we can help each other in what is very obviously a mutual struggle at this time.

DECK USED:  DAME DARCY’S QUEEN ALICE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Card for me / Card for humanity

Weird Cat TarotCard for Me – Four of Wands, Wheel of Fortune – Make sure that you’re taking time to cherish the good times, because life is going to be full of lots of ups and downs this year.

Card for Humanity – Ace of Swords – It’s time to start looking at things in a new way, and to acknowledge the dependence we have upon the earth and her goodwill and generosity.

DECK USED:  WEIRD CAT TAROT

 

Dedication Rituals

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This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about dedication rituals, and honestly?  I had to look that shit up. Seriously.

Topic for the Week of 2/3:  Did any of you do dedication rituals, and what are your experiences and thoughts on them?

fern

Okay, so what I understand is that this is a type of ritual where you dedicate yourself to a specific deity/deities or a specific religious path.   Sort of like a baptism, but in relation to pagan beliefs, deity, or paths.

The closest that I have come to something like this was early on after I’d left my parent’s home and was living on my own, and had decided to discard the use of deity in my practice.   That summer I hiked up into the Olympic National Park via the Hoh Rainforest access point.

Deep within the forests here, I had stripped free of my clothing at a spot deep within the threads of the liminal spaces there and laid myself down upon the forest floor among the cedars, ferns, and moss.  In the deep, damp embrace of the forest, draped in the shadows of dense vegetation, I closed my eyes and sought the earth.

Like a grounding exercise, I threaded my energy into the soil beneath me like roots digging into the earth.  I let my energy expand and flow, opening myself up to the energies around me and connecting myself fully to the environment I was in.

I sought what was real and true for me.  I sought direction and connection, and I found both.   I didn’t sleep, but I was there for a few hours, and once done I picked myself up and dressed, then set up camp for the night.

Is this a dedication ritual?  I’m not sure.  But it’s the closest I can think of to something that might qualify.

 

Synergy

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and took place in the bottom of my shower with paced rhythmic breathing exercises and the trailing of water drops along the side of the tub as the water rained down.   I needed a moment’s retreat, as it’s the third day in a row that I’ve woken up with that tight fissure of anxiety threading through my veins.

It actually felt so good I wish that I’d had some time to take a nap there. I didn’t, of course.  But I have in the past and regardless of the hard surface of the tub beneath me?  It’s some of the best napping I’ve ever had.

Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means the two cards came out together as one instead of individually.  The cards in today’s draw are The Magician and the Creature of Clouds.

The Magician is a message of capability and control, while the Creature of Clouds is about precision and keen mind.    The combination of the two in today’s draw is a message about not just having the tools to accomplish my goals, but also the judgement to use them to their best purpose and control their use to the best timing.

When you combine decisive and cunning thought with skillful expertise, it creates a synergy.   A harmony that’s rich in potential and promise.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I foster a better relationship with my spirit?

The Stretch Tarot

Reading Summary:  Better balance (Two of Pentacles) and a long term view (Judgement) in relation to looking at what I need to accomplish (Page of Pentacles) so that I can foster better “flow” between the different elements of my life (Temperance)

Take Away:  Balance brackets the matching cards in the middle.  Two different kinds of balance.  One is the juggle and struggle of keeping things together and up in the air.  The other a flowing balance of elements, like musical notes flow together to create a song.   In order to move from the jagged effort of juggling into the smooth flow of energy my spirit seeks, I need to stop falling into the trap of “everything has to be done now” and take a longer view.  I’m not on a time table.  There is no clock.  No punch card.  No deadline. 

DECK USED:  STRETCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in my life do I need to set stronger boundaries?

Sola Busca Revisited Tarot

Reading Summary:  My mother’s (Empress over Page of Swords) bullshit manipulations (Fool) using good memories (Sun over Six of Cups).

Take Away:  My mother is usually represented by the Queen of Swords reversed.  She is currently being represented by the Page of Swords and the Empress because at this moment she is looking for a new foothold with which to “work her will” into my life after the mess I made of her social standing.   The cards are both an indication of where I need to set stronger boundaries, and also a warning of how she is going to eventually approach once her silent treatment of me has ended.

DECK USED:  SOLA BUSCA REVISITED TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where am I slacking? / How can I motivate?

Golden Tarot of KlimtWhere am I slacking? – Progress.  I am lacking in progress.  Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.  Although I’ve begun to get a fresh breath from the fog of fear and uncertainty that had been so stifling through the end of December and all of January.  I’ve yet to hit my stride since digging out that fear and uncertainty.  Part of it is just that these things take time, but another part of it is that I feel like I need a break.  I took a few days off to go to my mother’s at the beginning of the month, and yet I just don’t feel like I got any rest out of the time off at all.

Take Away:  This ties into the Tarot for Growth reading I did today.  It speaks of needing to take a long term view and accepting that everything can’t be done right now.   That mindset of everything having to be done right now is holding me back from getting anything done at all.  When you plant seeds, they don’t just miraculously sprout into towering trees.  It takes time… everything takes time, and I need to stop being so hard on myself about that fact, because it has nothing to do with me.  It’s just the nature of how good things grow.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT OF KLIMT

 

Connections and Longing

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IMG_2375Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and focused on finding happiness not through all of the consumerism and excess in the world, but by moderation.  And how moderation assists in setting the soul free because there is less to weigh you down.

Honestly?  Moderation is not usually my strong suit.  It’s something that I struggle with a lot, in fact.   And the message in today’s guided meditation was well needed, even if this particular topic is one that I feel  I fall short on pretty regularly.

The Moon - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Moon card of the Major Arcana, which is a representation of uncertainty.  The thing is, though, that I see more in this card than just illusion and confusion.

To me, the imagery of this card speaks to me of an inherent need to connect with the earth, and that sometimes that’s not always possible.   Heading back home means that I have to work a little harder to get into the forests I love so dearly, and it creates a longing within me.

The appearance of today’s card is a reminder that it’s okay.  Even at times when you can’t be as close to those things you love as you want to be… it’s okay.  That connection is still there, and will be there whenever I need it.  I just have to make the effort of seeking it out.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my spirit?

The Guided Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m putting a good deal of effort towards learning (Eight of Pentacles atop Page of Pentacles), but I need to set aside the dance and relax a bit (Judgement crossed over the Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  My relationship with my spirit of this time is one of seeking and learning.  The problem lies in the fact that I’m trying to do too much juggling of different responsibilities and endeavors, which causes tension instead of just relaxing and allowing things to flow.

DECK USED:  THE GUIDED HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Over what element of my life do I need to release some control?

Regretsy Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation from Imagery:  I can’t control everything all the time. I’m going to have to ease up on controlling every little thing and let things flow instead of trying to fit more and more shit on my plate.

Take Away:  The element of my life I need to release some control over is the fact that I’m trying to fit so much on my plate and control every little piece of everything.  I don’t need to monitor everything.  I don’t need to control every little thing.  It’s time to discern which things I can ease up on and that can take care of themselves without my constant monitoring and meddling.

DECK USED:  REGRETSY TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Open / Close

Tarot of the Hidden RealmOpen: It’s time to reconnect with my passions (Ace of Wands) concerning my artistry and expertise (Three of Pentacles).  During the month of January, I had to put my passion for creativity on the back burner because I was struggling under that cloud of self doubt and fear caused by the letter I’d gotten in the fall.   Now that we are dealing with that fear and self doubt, it’s time to reconnect with my confidence in my work and the passion I have for what I do.

Close:  It’s time to release my negative thoughts concerning that letter and the emotions involved with it.  The Queen of Swords makes it clear that I’ve allowed the effects of that letter to go on for too long and cut too deep.  I need to let it go.  I know that’s going to take time and is not an immediate thing, but I also feel I’m well on the way to that outcome.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

A Boy’s First Lesson – Story Time

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Pull at least three cards and use them to… tell us a fairy tale story.

I Funghi più Belli del Mondo

A Boy’s First Lesson

There was once a young boy that spent all of his time under his father’s thumb being ground into the dirt. (Justice)

One day he decided to run away from home. He packed up his cherished possessions and tucked them away in his school bag, then in the dead of night he climbed out the window and slipped off into dark. (Chariot)

At first the night was very dark and he couldn’t see a thing. He felt that he was fumbling around in the dark. But the longer he was out in the night, the more his eyes adjusted until the starlight became shimmering flames in the sky to light his path. (The Star)

As he became aware of his surroundings, he realized things weren’t so bad after all. Sure they had been scary at first, but now under the soft light of the stars, he felt hope that he would do well on his own. (Wheel of Fortune)

When the moon rose, she cast deep shadows upon the road that caused the boy a bit of anxiety (The High Priestess), but he continued to move forward, unwilling to let go of his assertion that he could find something better for himself than what he’s left behind. (Strength)

As he walked along the side of the road, he came upon a tree whose branches stretched over the road, and from this tree’s branches hung a small spider spinning this way and that in the breeze. (Hanged Man)

Wanting to help the little spider, he pulled out the tin he’d used to hold his finest trinkets. Making room in the tin, he brought the tin up under the spider and caught the spider inside. He closed the lid and tucked the tin back away. (The Fool)

The boy wanted to help the spider, and so he did what he thought was right. (Judgement and Emperor) He continued on into the night until he found a place to camp for the night beneath a large oak, thinking that the oak would be the perfect place to set the spider free.

Pulling out the tin, he popped open the lid only to find the spider was no longer inside, and curled in the corner of the tin was a withered and crumbling husk of a tiny human-like creature with delicate, gossamer wings. (Death)

And thus, the boy’s first lesson in becoming a man is two-fold.  First, things are not always what they seem.  Second, sometimes you have to leave things as they are. What’s “right” for you may not be right for everyone, and by trying to conform others situations and beliefs to your own standards, you can sometimes do more harm than good…. no matter how altruistic your intentions may be.

DECK USED: I FUNGHI PIU BELLI DEL MONDO

Stand Strong

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and attached to the end of my yoga/physiotherapy practice.  After a handful of days away, getting back into a full practice is really important, and even in just those few days, I can feel the difference in my body from not doing my full routine.  There is a decrease in flexibility, and a tightness in my hips and shoulders that will take probably about two weeks to work out probably.

I used the meditation at the end of my practice to do some deeper stretches and focus on my breath as a way to breathe through the pain and keep my body relaxed through the process.

Nine of Trees - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Trees, which is a representation of resilience and strength.  I really like the little caption in the book for this deck, to be honest.   It speaks about a tree standing strong through the elements and the struggles of harsh environment and harsher weather.  And yet, even on the edge of a cliff in the blowing wind with the weight of snow on it’s boughs, the tree stands straight and tall, a figure of endurance.

This is a beautiful message and I love the use of the tree to convey it.  It speaks of standing strong through adversity, and is something that I need to hear right now when I’ve made my own stand so recently and a hint of guilt teases back in the shadows, not quite reachable or visible, but there all the same.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I foster a better relationship with my body?

Lion's Gateway Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to make time (Two of Pentacles) to go to the gym with Jer (Three of Cups), something that will not just help me physically, but emotionally as well as being a bonding experience for my friendship (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  January was so confusing and I can’t even be sure where all the month went.  I feel like I went through the month in a fog of confusion and fumbling in the dark.  But it feels like I’m pulling out of that now since we confronted my fears concerning that letter.  So maybe now that clarity is coming into play, it’s time to start looking at scheduling that time at the gym.

I need to start going again, as the weight I dropped five years ago during my chemotherapy never really came back.  Since then I’ve managed to gain a few pounds, but as soon as I get sick?  I lose them again.  Hell, those purple leather pants from Sunday were from back when I was sixteen.  I need to get some weight on me, and the only way to do it is to get my ass to the gym. 

DECK USED:  LION’S GATEWAY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work at improving that skill?

Hide Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:   I need to stay the course concerning finding those connections I need for a more stable and protected mediumship experience. This is about going slow and steady, but also staying focused.  If I want to improve my abilities with both grief readings and mediumship, that connection to my guides is going to be necessary, and after having ignored them for so long and leaving them to “do their own thing” and essentially do all the work in communication with me, it’s now my turn to show that I am also willing to work at it.

DECK USED:  HIDE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: What to attend to / What to leave behind

Majestic Earth Tarot

What to attend to: Optimism.  I need to work on my optimism, which includes working harder at holding each day’s positive message with me throughout the day.  It’s great to have that positive message in the morning, but sometimes I lose sight of it through the day.  I saw an idea lately on one of the Discord servers where someone uses the card for their COTD as their phone’s wallpaper each day.  I think I might give that a try as a way to help me keep in touch with each day’s positive message throughout the day.

What to leave behind: It’s time to take a step back from my more analytical mindset and allow my emotions to have a piece of the action.  Sometimes decisiveness and analytical thinking just isn’t enough, and you have to reach for more.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT