Growth Spurts Through Enthusiasm

Today’s meditation was just over seven minutes long, because I got interrupted part way through by the arrival of the housekeeper showing up early.    The focus of the meditation for today was the “strength training” of focus and concentration that is done when you are meditating.

This theme is a build off the mention in a previous meditation in the series where the guide likens the straying of the mind during meditation and becoming conscious of this straying to bring it back to focus again as a “bench press” for the mind.

I like this analogy and it has really put the straying of the mind during meditation in a different light for me.

Page of Wands - Slow Tarot Today’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, and passions.

The imagery in this card really speaks to me, as it reminds me of a time when L and I used to go out camping on the weekends with Z and T.  These camping trips were always super educational, but so much fun.  They are the beginning of my education on plants and the forests in the area I live in, as it was those two that taught me the joys of the deep forest and started me on my journey of learning about plants and botany.     I’m almost certain that Z did self-taught crash courses in the subject just to keep up with my thirst for knowledge during these trips.

These trips also taught my sister and I about survival skills and about the strength in independence.  We learned about the elements in a hands-on natural environment, and about reverent respect for the earth and her gifts.  Each weekend we went out into the forest with Z and T was a growth spurt of the mind and expansion of the spirit.

As I move into this busy time of year for me, the holiday rush now a reality, the cards are giving me a reminder that I need to take that spirit of strength, independence, and adventure with me into the chaos of the holiday rush.  Do not let the chaos weigh me down, but instead choose to look at it as a challenging adventure.

Deck Used:  Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I better recognize the signs of manipulation?

Bottanical TarotReading Summary:  The beginnings of feeling as if I am floundering around in the dark (The Unknown).  This card overshadows all of the others in the reading.

Sesame is a symbol of good luck and immortality through resilience and adaptability.  When combined with the Three of Spices (Wands) and the other cards in this spread, it evokes for me that feeling of when you are in a group project in school that is supposed to be a collaborative effort, but the others are leaving you to do all the work.

The Lemon is a symbol of longevity and friendship, and when combined with the Ace of Crops (Pentacles) and the other cards in this spread, what comes across is a message of false promises and a “drumming up” of enthusiasm through promises of new exciting opportunities and potential wealth.

The ginkgo is also a symbol of longevity, as well as hope, and the attraction of opposites.  When combined with the Strength card and the other cards in this reading,  there is an feeling of needing to tap into inner foundations in order to examine if the “opposites attract” thing is really a fortuitous happenstance, or a recipe for failure.

I also am getting an intuitive hit off of the Lemon in its position in the forefront that speaks of “drumming up” enthusiasm and excitement, and an effort to distract you from seeing the weaker points by keeping your attention trained on the new and shiny.

Take Away:  Pay attention to when I feel as if I’m floundering in the dark, and look for excess enthusiasm and slight of hand concerning an effort to control where my attention is focused. Listen to that calm inner voice rather than getting wrapped up in the hype.

Deck Used:  The Bottanical Tarot

Recognizing Strength

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a meditation that focused on a line of energy that runs along the spine.  It was the next installment of the ‘how to’ series I’ve been working through.

The line of energy is essentially a thin line, like a string, that runs along the spine (think spinal cord) and in this meditation, the goal was to focus upon that line and allow the glow of energy from it to expand and flow, filling you up through nerve endings and providing a sensation of calm and light within.

It was extremely relaxing without making me sleepy, and is definitely a technique I will be revisiting in the future.

Five of Axes - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Five of Axes (Swords) which we just saw two days ago but has come to visit again.   This card is a representation of challenges, tests, and trials in the area of one’s thought processes, intellect, and communication.  This theme often presents itself as conflict and/or competition, and sometimes as a drive to win no matter the costs.

I do not feel that this is a recurrent theme from this card’s previous recent appearance.   Instead, it is a commentary upon the distress I was dealing with yesterday concerning my memory and its gaps.

In the moments where I realize just how much of my memory has fallen through the cracks, I have moments when I feel extremely helpless.  The appearance of this card is a reminder that there are many different faces to “winning”.  Some of them are obvious, others, not so much.

Although there is much in my life that has happened and left damage and scars in their wake, they also have made me stronger, and taught me how much value there is in my life, and how to appreciate the little things that make life worth living.   I learned my mortality very early, and although I work very hard in my day to day, I also make sure to pause and appreciate all that I have.   All that I have survived.   And all that I have won the right to having in my life through that survival.  Sometimes?  You have to lose something of value in order to gain something even better.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: Where may I benefit from moving on / moving forward?

Herbal Healing Tarot Reading Summary:  There is strength (Strength) in knowing when to set aside (Seven of Cups) the struggle of juggling too much (Two of Pentacles) in order to focus on gripping the reigns on chaos (The Chariot).

Take Away: I spend a huge amount of my life juggling responsibilities and my creative drive, which often boils down to a balance between my outside work and my entrepreneurial endeavors.  At this time of year, my business  begins to “blow up”, and it becomes time to set aside my other outside jobs for a time so that I can focus all of my energy on the chaos of the holiday rush.   The message here is saying that the time for that shift is now.

Deck Used:  The Herbal Healing Tarot

 

#shoppingfortarot (non) VR to LadyKnight of Avalon

Back in October, LadyKnight of Avalon on YouTube did a video where she talked about deck collections and how we go about the process of curating our personal collections over time.    The fact is that I have a rather large deck collection, and not just of tarot but also playing cards, oracle cards, lenormand, and other game cards and cartomancy cards. I love decks of cards.  I love the diversity of artwork available and the variety “voices” that the different styles of artwork speak with.

Anyway, she devised this list of questions for those that shop for and collect decks, no matter the size of your collection.  So here we go….

sage

1. What was the last deck you bought and why that one?

The last deck I bought was the Divine Muses Oracle.  I actually saw this one on Kickstarter when it was being launched, and I waffled on it and ended up not backing it because some of the cards didn’t appeal to me all that much (Ancestors, Astral Ascent, and the Muse of Art cards, for example).   But since then I have seen this deck on many videos and images, and I’ve been SUPER attracted to it and had some of the cards really stand out to me super strongly (such as the Totem of Water, Lattice of the Soul, and Raven King).  In the end, I decided that the cards that really spoke to me outweighed the cards that I was a bit “meh” on and I picked it up to see how I could get on with it.

2. What’s your decision process when you buy a new deck?

Does the imagery on the deck speak to me?  Will the words get in my way? If so, can they be removed?  Is it worth (to me) what they’re asking for the deck?  Can I afford to buy it?  Is it something I want to buy right now, or do I want to wait and see if I still want it in a few weeks?

3. What are deal-breakers in a deck that keep you from buying it?

Well at the top of the list is if I can’t connect with the imagery.  If the imagery doesn’t speak to me then there’s just no point in buying the deck.   Other deal-breakers include a Hanged Man card or Two of Pentacles card that I just can’t work with, super crappy cardstock (I’m a riffle shuffler… if it can’t handle being riffle shuffled then there’s no point in me owning it), too few cards for too much money, or well… too much money in general because if it’s out of my price range?  Then it’s out of my price range.

4. Little white book or big guide book?

I don’t really care as long as there is quality content.  I’ve seen some spectacular little white books…. and I’ve seen some big guide books that are just sheer crap.

5a. Do you have new deck rituals?

Yes.  When I get a new deck, I like to do a cleansing and a deck interview.  Unless I allow others to handle the cards, or for some reason the deck’s communication starts to feel “muddled”, chances are  that this is the only time the deck will ever be cleansed while in my possession.

5b. How do you break in a new deck?

By using them.   Also, meditative shuffling.  And, sometimes, with deck modification as well such as edging and/or trimming the deck if  feel that it needs it.

6a. Have you ever been disappointed after getting a deck because it looked/felt different than expected?

Yes.  Usually this has to do with how it communicates with me.  There have been times I’ve purchased decks and when I get them in my hands I just can’t get them to communicate as clearly as I’d like.   The most prominent example of this is the WildWood Tarot, which has artwork of a theme and style that I felt should have spoken to me very clearly, but even after years of trying, I couldn’t manage to work with them very well.    (It turns out, cutting off the titles on the cards so that it is artwork-only finally solved this issue for me.)

6b. Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by a deck after getting it?)

Yes.   Most recently?  The This Might Hurt deck, which I backed on Kickstarter in the spring and just arrived this week.  It was far and above the quality I was expecting and I’ve been avoiding walk-throughs and other images of the cards, etc because I wanted it to be a surprise.

7. Do you interview new decks?

Usually just when it first comes into my collection, although if I feel that the “tone” of a deck’s readings have changed over time then I will do it again to re-familiarize myself with the energy of the deck and it’s “voice”.

8. Do you ever buy decks for a specific purpose (only using it for that one?)

Yes.  I have a few decks that are solely for my personal use.  I have a few that are solely for shadow work.  And I have a few that I’ve purchased solely to use in one-card draws.

I have also occasionally bought a bootleg deck or two for the purposes of spellwork, because often in those cases the deck is destroyed in some way in the process of the spell casting.  Destroying a $5 deck in a spell is one thing.  Destroying a $50 deck in a spell is quite another.

9. Do you differentiate between decks you buy for yourself and decks you would use for other people?

Only in a few special cases.   The vast majority of my decks are open to be used for both.

10. What is one thing you wish deck creators would do, do more of or stop doing?

Do:  I wish more deck creators would consider cardstock as a top priority. (Hello Llewellyn, I’m talking to you.)

Do More:  I’m all for more illustrated pip cards.  I hate it when you have glorious and beautifully done Majors, and then the Minors are just sparingly done pips; or else they are illustrated, but in a way that makes it clear not as much effort was put into them as the Major Arcana.

Stop Doing: This one is specifically for creators on Kickstarter.  A lot of creators on that platform add on “Stretch Goals” which is great, but I really wish that they would focus less on little trinkets, pins, fancy boxes, etc….. and more on upgrading cardstock and making the actual CARDS nicer.

Comfort and Strength

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes, and the next installment of the ‘how to’ series that I’ve been working my way through.  The focus in today’s meditation was how to take your focus deeper into that “quiet place” of calm that can be found when you focus so strongly and so closely that everything else in the world fades away.

I have had this experience in our play, and in my work.  But I’ve never tried to accomplish it in my meditation before.   Although I could just lightly touch upon that mental space for a few fractions of a second at a time, I couldn’t sustain it, but I have a feeling that with practice I could.

Strength - Slow Tarot Today’s draw is the Strength card of the Major Arcana, which means that it is a “big picture” theme rather than any one specific aspect of the human condition.

When I saw this card this morning, I wasn’t sure how it would relate to my day, and a variety of possibilities for the positive message it could convey were running through my head.   As the evening has progressed, though, I have found where the inner strength that is represented in this card is needed, and with it the comforting that really struck me in the imagery itself.

It was really hard to come to the realization that I am still losing memories from the head injury I sustained fourteen years ago.  Over the past few years, there have been some really encouraging signs that indicate a recovery of some of the memories I’d lost, and I had not really noticed having lost anything important other than during my depressive episodes.

I discovered this evening that that is not so much the case, and that some of the memories that I have lost and not worried overly about are joined by memories that I don’t -want- to lose… but have.  These losses bring up within me a deep and somewhat terrifying sense of helplessness, and that is where the message in today’s card steps forward.  It is a reminder of my strength and that I am a survivor.  It is also a reminder that in times of distress, there are those that I love and that love me that I can reach out to for comfort and support.

Deck Used:  Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What can I do to better embrace change?

Manga TarotReading Summary:  Approach with an open mind and outlook of open curiosity and imagination (Page of Cups), accepting that cycles are a part of life and change is simply a part of our movement through these cycles (The World), and take time to plan and prepare for when the dust settles (Three of Wands).

Take Away: So often when change approaches, there is a tendency to close off and either ignore  what is happening as long as we can, or resist the change entirely.  Embracing change, though, requires a receptivity and acceptance to both the current change as well as the fact that change is an eventuality in life.  Instead of wasting energy on fighting against something that is going to happen whether you like it or not, take that energy and use it to plan for your next moves forward on your path so you are somewhat prepared for where your feet will land when the storm is over.

Deck Used:  Manga Tarot

The Victor’s Responsibilities

Today’s meditation was (probably?) about fifteen minutes long, and was another self directed meditation, this time in the shower.  It was one of those in the bottom of shower watching the drops of water drip down the wall meditations, and was very soothing and a balm to my senses and my insides all at the same time.

It didn’t last until the water got cold, but I was there for a bit of time, so I’m guessing at the amount of time I actually spent in meditation.

Five of Axes - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Five of Axes (Swords) which is a representation of tests, trials, and challenges in the area of one’s intellect, communication, and thought processes.  This often presents itself as conflict and/or competition, as well as a drive to win no matter the cost.

What stands out to me in this card today is the rope, which speaks to me of a connection between the victor and those he has defeated.  The message here is a reminder that even when you’re the winner, you need to ensure you keep in mind the fate and well being of those you have won against.   Sometimes, you need to do more than just stand tall as the victor and leave others in your wake.   Those you defeat are still people too, and as such, at the end of the battle they deserve more than just sand kicked in their eyes.

Today’s card relates really well to what is going on with one of my jobs at the moment.  I finally did talk to the owner about the shortcomings of his newest manager.  He wasn’t thrilled to hear the news, but after investigating for himself where she’s been dropping the ball and slacking off,  she ended up fired on Friday… and I ended up with a raise.  I don’t particularly feel bad for her, as she was abusive to the employees and not doing her job, but I did speak to her briefly today and offer her some leads on a couple jobs she might be better suited for.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I improve my relationship with confrontation?

Badger’s Forest TarotReading Summary:  Turn the other cheek (Four of Cups) rather than piling on and engaging in the conflict (Three of Pentacles), because sometimes you just have to take the high road (King of Swords) and walk away (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: Sometimes when coming in contact with confrontation, you really feel the need to defend your position and stand up against the opposing force.  But the fact is?  There are always going to be people that just refuse to listen to any view but their own, and there are going to be times when the conflict and confrontation just are not going to serve you well, even if you’re in the right.  Choose your battles wisely and remember that sometimes walking away is the best option.

Deck Used:  The Badger’s Forest Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

EarthThe Moon, Lady’s Mantle, Asian Elephant – Flow with uncertainties and have faith in your strengths. Sometimes life feels out of control and confusing, but that’s okay as long as you remember that you are strong enough to get through these times, and come out the other side stronger for it.

AirThree of Swords, Ten of Pentacles, Beaver, Spotted Skunk – It is important to display strength and serene resilience during troubled times and adversity. Stick to your guns in caring for and fostering stability in home and family life. In the position of air, these cards indicate there will be a need to provide reassurance to those nearest and dearest to me during the week to come.

WaterQueen of Swords, Seven of Wands, Mugwort, Orca – Now is the time to dive into the murky liminal spaces of the emotions and define clear boundaries within that space concerning what is welcome… and what is not. In these spaces, be aware and alert this week. Seek the truth and discard the rest.

FireThe Star, Queen of Cups, Trillium, California Poppy – The connection between my emotions and my passions, which was mentioned in a previous reading a week or two ago (I think?). In the previous reading, it was encouraged that I allow my emotions to more closely work with and influence my ambitions and inspirations. The cards in today’s reading speak of allowing this process time to germinate and grow, rather than bringing it out into the open too soon and therefore causing it to wither and fade.

Waxing and Waning – I am moving further away from that “dig yourself out of the emotional confusion” part of things and from the surfacing that comes afterward. Balance is coming back into focus, allowing me to depart from that state of picking myself up and dusting myself off. Now is a time to move forward and on from the recovery period into action once more.

Moral of the Story – This reading’s message is one of empowerment and forward motion. The time for stagnancy has come to an end and I need to foster clarity and precision in my steps forward into the chaos of the upcoming season.

Decks Used: The Children of Litha Tarot, Illustrated Bestiary Cards, Illustrated Herbiary Cards, The Moon Deck