This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about coming out as Pagan later in life.
Topic for the Week of 10/28: “So how to start a conversation of coming out of the broom closet if I became a pagan later in life and I need to tell my husband? How can I bring this up. This is the right path for me. But I’m scared. (Neither of us are church goers either).”
Obviously, this topic doesn’t really apply to me all that much, as I was raised pagan and have never been in the closet about my beliefs (aside from briefly while traveling for personal safety reasons).
That said, I do actually have an opinion on this and I’d like to share that here, but I would like to precursor my opinion by stating that IF coming out with your faith to others is going to put you in danger? I don’t think it’s a good idea.
If it is not going to put you in danger, though? I think it’s important to be your authentic self with those you love. Even if you aren’t shouting from the rooftops what you are (which doesn’t really happen all that often unless it’s someone coming out of the closet, before they realize that most people outside of their loved ones really don’t care LOL), I think that letting your loved ones know what is near and dear to your heart is important. One of those things should (naturally) be your faith.
If they can’t accept that, it’s really their problem. Not yours. Let them deal with it, process it, and find a way past it. If they love you, even if it matters? It won’t matter. That is to say that yes, they might have an issue with it, but it won’t change how they feel about you. If it does? Well then they don’t really love you after all.
That takes bravery tho, yes? Because some people don’t want to find out if there really are conditions to being loved by those that they love.
It doesn’t change my opinion tho. We need people in our lives that accept us and love us for who we are, not for who they want us to be.
As for how you bring it up, it really depends on who you’re telling. Some people process things better when it comes from an off-hand comment and they can then ask questions. Other people need the “sit down and have a heart to heart” approach. You know your loved ones best, and if you think about it, should know which approach they’ll respond best to.
And lastly… do not confuse fear of telling someone your path with doubt on if the path is right for you. They are two separate issues.
If you’re not sure if it’s the right path yet, but you still want to tell them? I suggest approaching it along the line of “I have started to explore…..” or “I’ve begun to have an interest in….” That way you are not committing to the path, but still giving them a heads up about what’s going on.