Month: October 2019

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

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Earth – The Star, Queen of Wands, and Hawthorn – I need to take some more time out in nature, connecting to the ancient spirits within the trees and the land itself. My body needs this connection, as does the ability to manifest my creativity into reality. Take some extra time out in nature this week, and connect with that energy that reaches beyond years and decades into centuries and millennia.

Air – Five of Wands and Rosemary – This week is a good time to look back at past conflicts, and reflect on how far I have come since that time in my life. It is a time to remember how strong I am, and take a moment or two to acknowledge how those things that once tore me apart now are the bedrock that supports my stability now.

Water – Justice and River Otter – Seeking too much stability kills the joy. I’m someone that is constantly searching for stability in life, and that includes in my emotions. The river otter is a reminder that without a bit of swing in those scales, life becomes boring. Yes, there are times when things tip down, but the upswing can be worth the imbalance now and then.

Fire – Knight of Swords and Monarch Butterfly – Full steam ahead! But that said, be prepared when you step forward into your ambitions that you are bringing your past along on the trip this week. It may cause a few stumbling blocks to work through along the way, but in doing so there is potential for significant growth.

Moving Away From – Blossom – I should seek out nature during the beginning of the week in order to take advantage of the energies there and how they can assist me in my growth. As the week goes on, I will transition more that energy of progress and growth into…

Heading Toward – Angelic – … a time when my focus will need to settle on caring for myself and bolstering my own self worth.

Take Away – I may feel a bit of uncertainty in the last half of the week, especially with all this stuff from the past coming up that is mentioned in the spread. Connecting to the past, not just my past but the energy of past generations, may trigger some need for healing, forgiveness, and letting go. It may also provide a catalyst for growth. Make sure to take time for myself, for nature, and to find joy in the world and those around me or I may risk sinking under the weight.

Decks Used: Talking to the Moon Tarot, Illustrated Bestiary Cards, Illustrated Herbiary Cards, Earthly Souls and Spirits Oracle 3rd Edition

 

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

 

Battle of the Imps

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Ugh… ok so I planned to do this post after a nap when I got home… and then I slept FOREVER.   So the post is super late today.

Today’s post was ten minutes long, and focused on sitting with discomfort instead of avoiding it.   Whether this is physical pain, awkward moments, uncomfortable situations, etc, the focus was upon not running away from these situations or experiences, but rather using them as learning experiences for personal growth and education.

I learned this technique very early in life, and it has served me well.  It’s a big part of the reason that, even though I have had some rather significant hurdles and challenges in my life and not come from them unscathed, when people ask if there is anything I would change… the answer is no.  I would not be who I am without each and every one of those challenges and experiences, and I’m pretty happy with who I am.

Today’s draw was the Five of Imps (Wands) which is a representation of struggle, strife, conflict, and competition in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.

What stood out to me in this card this morning, though, isn’t the battle of the imps, Rather, it was the little demon cat in the lower left corner, and the moon watching on from above.

Today’s card is a message about not getting involved in things that have nothing to do with you. It’s OK to stand on the sidelines and watch and let them work it out for themselves.

Although this wasn’t something that applied to my day as a whole, I think that this is a really good reminder.  I’m one of those people that likes to help, but there are times when I need to remember that stepping in to help isn’t the best solution, for myself or for others.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.

Question: How can I better attune to my intuition?

Reading Summary: Don’t.  You’ll be sorry.

Take Away:  Not the answer I was anticipating when I picked up the cards to delve into this question!  That said, what I see in these cards is that I could reach for an even better connection with my intuition.  I could push on to the “next level” and do the work to find new perspectives.   But in the end?  I have other things to focus on that are better uses of my time at the moment, as I am already very much connected to my intuition, and deepening that connection more may not be something I’m ready (or able) to handle right now.

Deck Used: Le Tarot de Marseille par Pole Ka

Dealing with Intolerance

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This week’s question from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is about dealing with intolerance not just outside of the pagan community, but inside of the community as well.

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Topic for the Week of 7/29:  “As pagans, how do you handle the topic of religious tolerance from both outside and inside the pagan community? How do you operate in spaces that might be intolerant? I have found religious intolerance from both inside and out and I am having a hard time navigating the topic as well as trying to figure out how to react/handle hostility towards my religion and path.”

In my day to day life, I run into intolerance all the time.  Due to being mute, this is just a part of my every day, or at least any day where I have to interact with strangers… which is just about every day.

Religious intolerance, on the other hand, really isn’t something I deal with very often.

There had been a time when I was traveling that I visited some places where it would have been potentially dangerous for me to be open about my faith, but I was very aware of this fact and took precautions to make sure this didn’t happen.

Now, in my present life and location?  It’s just not a problem I have to deal with all that often.  Not that it doesn’t present itself, but simply that I very literally chose not to deal with it.  I don’t invite people into my life that are not open-minded and tolerant, and I don’t give my very precious time to the same.

It’s easier (and honestly far more positive to the energy in my own life) to simply step away and detach (mentally, physically, however possible) from the source of the hostility or intolerance. I find those that approach with hostility and intolerance are not generally open to being educated, so it’s not worth my time to engage. I think it helps, though, to be well seated in your own belief system and path. When there is a stable foundation and certainty on where you ‘fit’ into the world, it’s much easier to give others approaching with hostility and intolerance less credence.

My most common response when someone demonstrates religious intolerance and/or religious hostility directed my way is to look at them like they’re an idiot (or an epic disappointment) and then walk away.

My second most common response is very similar, which is simply to smile, shake my head in a (I’m so glad I’m not you) sort of way, and walk away.

These reactions are generally the same regardless if the source of that intolerance/hostility is coming from someone within the pagan community or from outside of it.  I really just don’t have time for that shit, and I feel giving that type of behavior my time and energy feeds that negative energy and may be perceived as a form of encouragement.

Exceptions?  Only one that I can think of.   If the person I perceive as being intolerant indicates in some way that they are not displaying intolerance so much as an ignorance with a openness to learn?   I might try to better explain my views and perspectives.    I run into this sometimes in the pagan community, and occasionally with people of other religions specifically in relation to cartomancy.

 

Tapping In to Inner Strengths

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I really wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying.  I have found that sometimes the music in the background just really catches my attention and carries me away.

At those times, my attention seems to skip along the notes like a rock skipping over water, touching down on each note as it is played before gliding on to the next, and the next.  It’s a very peaceful sensation.   I wish I could find the music as a download of some kind, all on its own.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Auntie Whispers card (the Strength card), and the Eight of Pentacles.

The Auntie Whispers card is a Major Arcana card, and deals with “big picture” themes rather than any one specific aspect of the human condition.  It is commonly a representation of inner strength, compassionate persuasion, and courage.

The Eight of Pentacles is a representation of purpose, determination, and accomplishment in the area of resources, finances, and the physical world.  This card is often an indication of hard work and hard won expertise in areas that involve manifestation of ideas into reality.

When I look at the combination of these cards in today’s draw, the message I am picking up from the cards is about the fact that I really wasn’t entirely inspired to work today.  But, sometimes?  You have to power through and do your work.   I have the inner strength of will to make that happen, and that’s exactly what I have done today.

Fortunately, I also got to spend time with you, and I think a lot of that has to do with the good management of my time and making sure to balance that time appropriately.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: What resources for growth are available to me?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.

Reading Summary: Inner strength and decisiveness are the tools that I can provide for myself, but there is also an element of community involved that can help deflect moments of conflict and turmoil concerning my inspiration and ambition.

Take Away:  I can’t carry everything myself, no matter how much I want to.  The tools available to me go beyond just my own personal skills and abilities, and if I want to foster growth, I need to also look outside myself and to what others can offer.    This will be especially important in learning from other’s mistakes and taking advice to find a better path to my goals that involves less nasty surprises and pitfalls along the way.

Deck Used: Halloween Magick Tarot

 

Empathic Ability… or Something Else

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Today’s meditation was… well, I’m not entirely how long it was, because I fell asleep.  It was relaxing, though. I think that just a lack of sleep combined with the taxing part of having both the helper and the housekeeper coming by today just took it out of me.  I laid down and became still, and off to sleep I went.

Today’s draw is Queen of Bats (Swords), which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy in the area of intellect, thought, logic, communication, and instinct.  This involves themes that include independent thought, reflection on new ideas without the need for conformity (ie: clear boundaries), a lack of bias, and direct communication.

When I look at today’s card, what I see is strength reflected through the posture of the queen and her sword, and an openness to hear out others while staying firm in one’s own foundations that is demonstrated in her welcoming of the flying bat combined with the death moth that is both at the base of her throne as well as within her crown. The moon smiling down feels like a blessing and approval, displaying an indication that this path is the right one for this moment in time.

I think this is a really interesting card to draw today, because I find myself reflecting on the definition of what an empath is, and if it really applies to me as I thought it did.  The thing is, I do not feel other people’s emotions in the way that I understand empathic abilities to work.  Instead, I sense and react to energy.  From that energy, my body can then interpret and even empathize with emotions from others… but it is not the direct connection and mimicry of emotion that others seem to define the ability as having.

Clearly, this feels like a separation between what I’m experiencing, and what is generally defined as empathic ability.  I wonder, then, if in fact this isn’t empathic ability at all, but something else that I haven’t yet found a name and/or definition for yet.

This, to me, fits in with the Queen of Bats because it runs along the line of intellectual examination, independent thought, and non-conformity.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: How can I recognize my own power to manifest growth?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.

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Reading Summary:  If you would just give yourself a chance to be nicer to yourself and embrace the emotional gifts others are offering,  the world would be at your feet.  Stop and examine where you feel scarcity.

Take Away:  I need to sit with my emotions, look at and delve into a better understanding of them, and allow others to contribute to my life with their own emotions as well.   This is the aspect of my life where I am at my weakest, as I often have a hard time connecting with others in this manner, or experiencing the world through that lens. I need to take a breath and ease my strangle hold of stress concerning finances and the business or it will smother under my grip.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot