Today’s meditation was 13 minutes and 53 seconds, and it focused on dealing with sounds during one’s meditation.
As you know, my crossed wires due to synesthesia often turn sounds into other sensations. This actually made today’s meditation quite interesting, because in meditation how do you focusing on the sounds around you. Not to judge them, or figure out what they are, or any of that. But rather, just to experience them and accept them as a part of your environment.
I enjoyed the experience. Like putting my earphones in and listening to music, It is like going on a journey of the senses filled with rich scents, flavors, and sensations without taking a single step.
That said, I’m not sure that it was really the meditation focused that I needed today. I woke up with a bit of anxiety, as I have for the past three days now. It’s this tight knot under my diaphragm that I can’t quite breathe away. Granted the last two days of meditation hadn’t really helped it either, so I don’t think trying something different really hurts anything.
Today’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which represents culmination, end results, and consequences in the area of thoughts, logic, communication, and challenges.
This card feels like it arrived a little early, and yet perhaps that’s why it’s here. It commiserate with the fact that I’ve been through the ringer, and tells me that things are starting to wrap up. It tells me that it’s time to take a deep breath and let the dust settle.
Sometimes things can’t end until you look through them one more time to learn lessons you would otherwise leave behind. It feels like this card is telling me it’s time to end my negative and self depreciating thoughts, and look back at my depression with compassion and acceptance. It’s time to prepare for stepping forward and past it.
So, perhaps this card is right on time after all. I am at the cusp of that deep dark hole and climbing out into the light. I can smell the fresh air. I can feel the light on my face.
I’m almost there and it’s time to be kind to myself, stop my self-recriminations, and set my mind to getting things back on track.