spiritual path

Morning Bonus Read – Body In Pain

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Sawyer's Lenormand Oracle

Check-in on my overall energy.

Tree – Flagging and not particularly the greatest.  Although you are no longer flirting with burnout at every turn, neither are you taking care of yourself as well as you could… or should.  Slacking on your physiotherapy, eating too much junk, and not getting enough outside time and exercise are all starting to take their toll both physically as well as energetically.

Is there something this pain is trying to tell me?

Snake – You’re doing this to yourself.  Your betrayal of your body is all self imposed and the results that come from it are created by you and you alone.

How can I make it easier to hear what this pain has to say?

Fish – Stop fighting against the current and go with the flow.  Begin shifting and adapting to get back on track.  You don’t have to do it all at once, but you do need to start gravitating in that direction instead of just continuing blindly on this path of self destruction.

How can I release the harsh perception of this pain as my enemy?

Child – See it as a call to start again and refresh what you’re doing.  The pain isn’t an enemy but the result of bad choices.  By clearing out the old and taking a more youthful, open eyed approach to the situation you will better see your pain as an ally to guide you rather than an enemy to struggle against.

How can I support myself physically while this pain is present?

Mountain – Accept it as the fucking monstrous hurdle that it is.  Your pain is permanent, but the levels can be managed.  This reading is about how you deal with that hurdle, not eliminating it.

How can I support myself emotionally while this pain is present?

Moon – Understand that as long as your pain is out of control, so too will be your emotions. Just accepting this fact alone can help you in better supporting yourself emotionally, as it gives you a rational view of the constantly shifting emotions going on, as well as the jagged emotional highs and lows the pain creates.

DECK USED:  SAWYER’S LENORMAND ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week’s prompt is on the theme of boundaries. Let’s do some divination to better understand our boundaries, using Goldilocks reasoning.”

Johannes Brahms Composers Luxury Playing CardsIn what areas of life are my boundaries too hard (trying so hard to protect me that they end up injuring me or preventing growth)?

Myself – Three of Clubs – forcing people to stay at a distance so that I don’t get hurt. Expecting betrayal, and thus building my inner walls too hard and too deep so that nothing can get through to touch me.

Others – Six of Diamonds – Shutting people out so strenuously that they do not have the ability to get through to help me when I need help.

In what areas of life are my boundaries too soft (not being enforced, not clearly delineated where they need to be, etc)?

Myself – Jack of Spades – I don’t allow myself to move at slower pace when in the process of learning new skills or ideas. This means I take on too much instead of buckling down on one thing at a time.

Others – King of Spades – I take too much on myself instead of delegating more effectively. This allows people to take advantage and do less instead of standing up and doing their share.

In what areas of my life are my boundaries just right?

Myself – Jack of Hearts – Having slowed down on the pursuit of the things that interest me and that I want in life. It used to be I try to do everything and be everything, and get everything done all at once so that I could have all that I wanted in life as fast as possible. I’ve learned to better pace myself in those pursuits.

Others – King of Clubs – I allow myself to teach what I want to teach, and what is a passion to me, instead of just letting whatever others want to learn be the basis of what I am willing to share.

DECK USED:  JOHANNES BRAHMS COMPOSERS LUXURY PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Feeling the Feels

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Cheimonette Tarot

Feels I’m Feeling

The Devil  – Temptation to self destruct.  Anti-depressants are a massive help to keeping me well balanced, but they don’t resolve everything.  This temptation comes and goes.  Sometimes it is stronger than others.  This isn’t about death, but rather about turning my entire life upside down, and razing the entire thing and everything I’ve worked for and built to the ground. This temptation is sneaky… slipping in to try and nudge and whisper, insidious and conniving as it works to tempt me astray.

The World – Potential for the new and different. I can see it glimmering in the distance, that promise of something new and better, of growth and transition.  I see it and sense it, I want to push for it and seize it… but I know that’s not how this works.  Growth takes time.

Feels I’m Ignoring
Ace of Disks atop The Moon, Five of Disks

Financial uncertainty and scarcity issues. This is a very strong theme in my life, and a driving force of my motivation a great deal of the time.  It’s a fear that I struggle with, and have struggled with ever since my emancipation from my parents at sixteen.   I am, at this time, doing my best to accept that I’ve done well for myself.  That I’m comfortable and safe, and that everything is stable.  There is no need for this fear and no need for it to rule my life.  I’m working at not allowing it to have such a loud and overpowering voice in my life.

Feels I Need To Embrace

Two of Staves – Pick a direction. Stagnancy sucks. I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck and waffling. I understand the need to pick a direction and I feel that I’ve begun that process.  It’s just taking far longer than I’m comfortable with.

Nine of Cups – Gratitude directed toward the self and toward having put myself in a place where I now have the time and space to even do “the feels” at all.

Feels I Should Feel More Often

Death – Embracing change instead of fighting against it.  It’s so hard not to struggle against change or fall into the feelings of fear and uncertainty that change can bring rise to.   Not all change is bad, though.  And even the change that feels bad?  Sometimes turns out all the better for having happened. Embracing change is hard, but I’m working on doing so more and more.

Seven of Cups – Feeling empowered by my wealth of options instead of overwhelmed by them. This is a perspective change that I’m not always able to shift into.  I can see it.  That wealth of opportunity… but I can’t sometimes get my emotions to follow along with that positive perspective I can see.  So, it’s like I can see it, but not quite touch it.

Feels I should Share With Others

Six of Swords – Discuss with them the desire you have to change direction.

Ten of Cups – Share this adventure with them and make them a part of the whole.

DECK USED:  CHEIMONETTE TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Perspectives

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Sometimes an outside perspective is helpful. Do a divination reading about yourself from the perspective of someone else. Maybe ask a spirit or deity who cares for you what they see when they look at you.”

SINS Anima Playing CardsWhat do my spirit guides notice about my body?

Six of Hearts – You’re working at finding better harmony. This isn’t an easy task, but you’re slowly becoming more accepting and more kind to yourself, and at finding a way to balance your wants and desires with your body’s needs.

What do my spirit guides notice about my mind?

Ten of Clubs – Overloaded. So many plans and ideas, so much judgement of self, so much inner dialog getting in the way and making you feel overwhelmed even when you’re not actually being overburdened at all.

What do my spirit guides notice about my heart?

Two of Diamonds – Your heart knows where it wants to be rooted, but you’re playing tug of war with it. It’s not a weed, stop treating it like one.

What do my spirit guides notice about my soul?

Six of Diamonds – You are generous with giving of yourself. Sometimes too much so. You offer so much of yourself to others that at times it can be unhealthy for you.

What do my spirit guides notice about my life?

Two of Spades – Two paths before you and you are stuck at the crossroads.  That stagnant feeling you’ve been feeling lately is a sign of this crossroads and the internal struggle you’re going through in trying to “pick a lane”.

What do my spirit guides notice about my problems?

Four of Diamonds – Stop bracing for impact. It does no good and only holds you back. This is  a habit from your youth, and you don’t have to worry anymore about that second shoe dropping… or the first one for that matter.  Take a breath and relax.

What do my spirit guides notice about my general relationships?

Three of Spades – You’re always far too prepared to be disappointed by others. It’s okay to have a little faith in people and not be ready for them to rip your heart out.  It’s okay to not expect the worst.

What do my spirit guides notice about my relationship?

King of Spades – There is a great sense of security, and you know where you stand. You know that your advice and opinions are heard and valued, and that submissives really steer the ship. You know that his support is not a burden to him, even if logically from your perspective it feels like it should be.

What advice does my spirit guides have for me?

Queen of Spades – Own your forthright nature. Own the qualities that make you your mothers son. Your sense of values and moral compass will assure that you don’t follow in her footsteps. Instead, you will use these qualities for the good of others, instead of for your own selfish desires.

What warning do my spirit guides have for me?

Four of Hearts – Stop stalling when you need to get things done that you’re not enthusiastic about. Just get them done.

DECK USED:  SINS ANIMA PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Cancer Season

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Cancer Season Tarot Reading - Cosmic Visions Tarot

What is a major theme of my Cancer season?

Ace of Pentacles – New opportunities abound. Choose your actions wisely and take care on where you put your energy. A small choice made during this time will have vast ripple effects later.

How will this theme impact me?

Temperance – Stretch your wings but measure your responses. It’s okay to explore and to allow things to pique your interest, just make sure you don’t “dive in” head first without any moderation.

What should I embrace during Cancer season?

Father of Pentacles – Okay so… totally crude but, “Grab his dick and ride it for all you’re worth” was what came to mind when I saw the imagery in this card today.  Gideon is usually represented by the King of Cups, but between the bears, the flames, and the direction of his arms reaching?  I just… that’s what I got.  He’s my anchor.  My rock.  My big ass bear.  And absolutely the focus of my sexual energy.

How can I come out of my shell during this time?

The Tower – Rip it all apart, tear it down. Be brave and accept that you can’t build the “house of your dreams” on the ruins of what isn’t working.  You have to demolish before you can build.  The imagery here speaks to me of doing this type of thing with my own thoughts, my own habits, and my own inner narrative.

How can I spend this time being soul-centered?

Nine of Swords – You may not be able to let go of all your fears, but now is a good time to explore them.

DECK USED:  COSMIC VISIONS TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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Hybrid Tarot - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Sun – Keep faith that everything is going to turn out just right.  Optimism and  focusing on the direction you want to go in will ensure that as you move forward through the month of July that you continue to head in the right direction. Hold on to the optimistic view that everything will turn out okay in the end… and you’ll find that’s exactly what will happen.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Rider – Keep in mind that every day is a new day.  You don’t have to carry all that crap with you from one day to the next.  Exhale and let it go, then surge forward with renewed energy and a more positive outlook (The Sun above) to tackle the new day with vigor and an open mind.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Coffin – Ride the change and allow your adaptability to shine.  Sometimes what sparks that inner creative glimmer and creative energy of manifestations isn’t about what’s familiar but in finding creative ways to adapt to change and mold those moment  to work for us even when within the grasp of changing tides.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Clover – Optimism brings luck, so look up and let the luck roll in.  You’re being given the opportunity to “sweeten the pot” by fostering an echo of luck and joy in your life through the optimistic lens you seek to look at life through.  Don’t give up… good things are coming.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Cross – You have been through a lot.  Fall back on these experiences and what you have learned from them to help you through struggles or challenges this month.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here, you’ve already experienced all the hardships needed to possess the knowledge and skills required to overcome what may come.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Heart – Finding “your place” in how you care about others, feel about others, and connect with others. This month will help you come to a better understanding of what you contribute to other’s lives, and how much they mean to you.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Scythe – Making a clean break. You’ve been struggling for quite some time to let go of old habits in order to make room for new better ones to take their place. You’ve struggled to find the catalyst that will allow you to truly let go. This card indicates that the epiphany that you’ve been searching for is coming and will be based in cold hard logic.

DECK USED:  HYBRID TAROT