Daily Meditation

Spreading the Wealth

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_8584Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with interval timer for my piriformis and forearm stretches.  Yes, I started back up with the extra forearm flexor stretches, as giving it a break seems to have instead of letting it rest… given it the opportunity to tighten up more.

The topic of today’s meditation is about the importance of acknowledging and accepting that there is more in the world that we can see and understand.  It’s like that Shakespeare Hamlet quote “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

I don’t necessarily think secular people are “wrong” or that their view isn’t just as valid as anyone else’s, but I feel that, like everyone in the world, we need to understand that there’s more out there than we can possibly hope to comprehend, whether it is a part of our personal dogma or not.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Six of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, and the give and take of charity.  This representation is ruled by balance (thus the scales often depicted on the Six of Pentacles), and is both about the giving of those more fortunate, and the acceptance of that generosity by those less fortunate.

What really stands out to me in this card today isn’t in the imagery (which is stunning, as always, in this deck).  It’s in the words upon the scroll at the bottom.   The words “Material Success” are used as a prompt for the card, and I feel that this is… short sighted.  It encourages one to focus on only one side of that balance that this card’s message is truly about.

“Spread the Wealth” is definitely the message that I get from this card today, through the image that is then strongly reinforced by the words at the bottom.

I think sometimes we all forget how fortunate we are.  I know that I do sometimes.  But even at my worst, living in a car and struggling on the streets, I still had things to be grateful for, and ways that I was able to reach out and help others less fortunate than myself.  That outreach is important… and there are many ways to pay forward your good fortune than through monetary means.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What should I know or keep in mind as I go after my dreams and goals?

Earth Bones Tarot 2nd Edition

 Reading Summary:  You have to rest now and then (Four of Crystals), no matter how enthusiastic you are feeling to explore new things (Page of Wicks) or you will burn yourself out and open yourself up to the slippery slope of depression (Three of Crystals).

Take Away:  Dreams and goals are meant to be pursued and explored, but it’s important to remember to take breaks and rest now and then along the way.  The pace you set is your own, and there’s no deadline to be had.  Don’t risk your emotional stability and well-being by pushing too hard and not giving yourself the rest you need.  That rest is extremely important to keep everything in balance.

DECK USED:  EARTH BONES TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you actually deserve? (Built off yesterday’s cards)

Tarot of the Divine MasculineReading Summary:  You deserve to leave behind the negative lessons  of the past (Six of Cups Rx) and rule your roost with strength and confidence (The Emperor) with Gideon there at your side to support (King of Cups).

Take Away: Strength and Happiness.  This is about finding stability and confidence in myself instead of allowing my past to creep in and whisper in my ear those negative inner naratives that always try to tear me down.  I deserve to live a life without those influences weakening my foundation.  And I deserve Gideon there beside me, supporting me along the way, each and every day as I move forward into the future.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DIVINE MASCULINE

#DatingTheTarot2020 a (non) VR to Candy Soul and Soil

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

So, this prompt was brought to my attention by Simon at The Hermit’s Cave, bit it originates from Candy Soul and Soil on YouTube. The concept here is what decks would fit these ten dating categories listed below. Although it was encouraged that you could use any kind of deck for this challenge (not just tarot decks), but I will be sticking to tarot specifically.

1: The Cheapskate Date… who did you date because they were cheap as chips and what was the outcome?

Student Tarot v2 Stained Glass

Student Tarot v.2 (Stained Glass) – Other than free decks and gifts, this is my cheapest deck. I paid $3.73 for it in a bargain bin at a little Asian market up in British Columbia, Canada. It was tucked away at the very back of a shelf cluttered with stationary and books. It is a beautiful deck and actually got me into collecting all of the different Student Tarot decks. Each one has a different style of art, and I currently have… seven versions. I’m not entirely sure how many versions there are total, because every time I think I know about them all I then end up finding another one.

2: The Slow Burner Date… the one you weren’t sure about on first meeting but over time you suspect it’s turning to love!

Ostara Tarot

Ostara Tarot – I bought this tarot because I was attracted to the artwork, but owned it for over a year before eventually using the deck for the first time. There was just something about this deck that I felt I needed to hold off on. Then, a year ago in November I finally pulled it out and used it for the full month and didn’t want to stop using it even at the end of the month. This is extremely rare for me as I usually want to rotate out to use different decks pretty regularly.

3: The Blind Date… because we are impulsive humans and sometimes we just rush in! Who did you date without looking or thinking?

Raja Tarot

The Raja Tarot – I saw exactly three cards in this deck when I bought it. All three cards were majors, and that was it. No one had pictures of this deck up to view. The creator didn’t either. I had an impulsive “fuck it” moment and bought it, and it was the worst purchase I’d ever made. Jesus… it’s bad. The cardstock is bad, the pips are bad… even the tuckbox is crap. So yeah. Bad. Bad bad date.

4: The Rebound Date… the one you keep going to break up with but keep being pulled back together!

Liz Dean's Golden Tarot

Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot – I have gotten rid of this deck and had it come back to me multiple times. I bought it from Amazon, gave it away, found it at a thrift store for $4 and bought it, edged it… gave it away. Found it at a GoodWill in Ontario Canada and bought it again. It just comes back again and again. This last visit from my rebound date, I’ve trimmed off the borders and titles to make it image only.

5: The Surprise Love Affair Date… the one you thought would be just ok but from first meeting it was love at first sight that took you by surprise!

Tarot of the Hidden Realm

Tarot of the Hidden Realm – When I ordered this deck, I really didn’t expect the reaction I had to it. I thought the artwork was lovely, and was interested because of it, but didn’t think it would be anything particularly overly special. Then I opened the box and touched the cards and it was so…. perfect. The art. The energy. The cardstock. The energy. I’d never felt anything like the energy I felt in these cards when I got them in my hands, and this is my very first “soul deck” connection. I’d been reading tarot for 15 years at that point, which just goes to show, sometimes surprises happen even to the well seasoned readers.

6: The “Not My Type” Date… the one you went on thinking it wasn’t really your cup of tea but what the hell… what happened?

Thoth Tarot Golden Edition

Aleister Crowley’s Golden Thoth – Right… so… I find Lady Freda Harris’ artwork to be extremely disturbing. It gives me really bad vibes and prolonged exposure (over a few minutes) can give me nausea and cold sweats. I bought this deck with every intention of studying the Thoth and exploring the system at length along with its original artwork. But I was never able to get over extremely visceral reaction to the artwork. I still own it, but probably won’t for much longer so I suppose this also could have gone down into the next category, but another Thoth style deck takes that slot.

7: The “I May Have To Delete Your Number” Date… the one that really didn’t work but you still haven’t broken up with yet, what’s stopping you?

Tabula Mundi Tarot en Minima

Tabula Mundi Tarot in Minima – This one doesn’t give me the same bad/uncomfortable vibes as the Crowley Thoth, but there’s something about the artwork that bothers me and I find myself often confused when I look at the cards in this deck. This is a weird sensation for me. I’ve been reading tarot for over 18 years, and reading imagery cards for years more… and yet these cards are just so confusing to me and no amount of familiarizing myself with them seems to solve the problem. For some inexplicable reason, I haven’t quite given up on them yet tho.

8: The Forever Love… True love… ok this one might be on the favourites list too but I’m curious and couldn’t resist!

Herbal Tarot

Herbal Tarot – I could have put one of my soul decks here, but if I’m entirely honest? Even though this is not one of my soul decks, it will forever hold my deep and abiding love. This was my second tarot deck and I have worn out multiple copies of it over the years. It’s diverse, multi-national, and there are a number of androgynous characters presented in the imagery. And… it’s all about plants. Unlike my very first tarot deck, which was horrible, this deck made sense to me immediately and was easy to read from the start.

9: The Stormy On/Off Date… the one you can’t stay away from, equal parts passion, lust and fighting! The one you have to have a break from but can’t stay away from either!

Tarot of the Sidhe

Tarot of the Sidhe – I find the artwork in this deck garish, and sometimes abrasive. And yet… there’s something about this deck that draws me back again and again. I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t help reaching for it in the summer months, even if I can only use it a few times before having to set it back on the shelf again.

10: The Friends With Benefits Date… who can you run to without commitment whenever you just have a need for them? The one who always just slots right back in like you’ve never been apart?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Hanson Roberts Tarot – This was my third ever tarot deck, and like the Herbal Tarot mentioned above, I have worn out multiple copies of this deck over the years. There’s just something very “coming home” about picking up this deck and working with it. The artwork, the faces, the colors… it’s like a close friend giving a warm hug.

Battening Down the Hatches

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_8568Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about gratitude and love, and how getting in touch with those emotions can create a sense of peace and calm when one is stuck in moments of chaotic thought or dealing with sensory overwhelm.

This is an interesting approach, as usually when I am feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, I pause to take a deep breath, or even a moment’s calm meditation… but I’ve never thought of really bringing in gratitude into the practice.  This is definitely something I’m going to need to try the next time I need to calm down from chaotic moments.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Nine of WandsToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of “standing guard” over what is important to you, setting strong boundaries, and having the courage and resilience to stand strong when one is being tested.

I think that I’m going to need to read the book for this deck in order to help me reconcile some of the artwork in the deck with the specific tarot cards that the imagery is placed on. I struggled a bit with the Ace of Cups… and this one, as well. I think that it will help to at least skim through the book in order to get a better feel of where the artist is going in connecting artwork to the cards.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today, though, does actually fit with the traditional meaning of the Nine of Wands.  It is in the expression on the features of the figure among the leaves.  It’s an expression of determination that says “I will not stand down, and I will not falter”.

I guess that it is because he is “of the green” that I’m thrown off by the imagery here in contrast to the traditional meaning.  Which is fine, and usually doesn’t bother me but for some reason, in this deck, I feel the need for them to connect and make sense.

The message in today’s card is to remember what you’re “fighting for”.  What is it that’s important to you?  Are you taking the precautions and steps necessary to keep those things and people safe?  It’s time to examine what you’re doing in this area and ensure everything is where it needs to be.  (It’s also a reminder to renew my Nest subscription.)

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you feel you deserve?

5 Cent Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary: *Wincing as the cards go all ugly as they echo the negative inner narrative in his head.*

The more “in charge” I strive to be (The Emperor), the more anxiety and worry (Nine of Needles) I deserve to have clouding my judgement (Ace of Needles Rx) and creating confusion which keeps me frozen in indecision (Two of Needles Rx).

Take Away: Failure. Specifically, failure bred through my own ineptitude. 

I knew that in doing this reading there was a risk my negative inner voice would be given a loud speaker, but… damn.  I wasn’t really expecting it to be quite so ugly. Not that I’m not aware how ugly it can be but, I feel… exposed.

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT 2ND EDITION

Small Things Matter

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_8547Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I’m giving my forearms a couple of days break from the stretching in the hopes it will help me in getting the muscles to release a bit with more massaging and hot/cold treatments instead.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about that beat of a pause that being more mindful can give you in which to make good decisions.  It’s that moment of “thinking before you speak” or making a smart decision rather than an instant reaction.

People always think that this slight pause is “too long” in situations where it’s needed most, but I’ve found that that moment… especially in the middle of chaos or a moment of surprise, is when it’s most essential.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - The StarToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally a representation of the inter-connectivity of the physical world and spirituality, as well as themes that have to do with hope, optimism, and success.

There isn’t any one single thing that stands out to me the strongest in this card, but rather it is an interplay of different elements from the water the figure is knee deep within to the crystals on the shore, the crane in the reeds, and the fiery cool glow of the stars above.

I think this card is breathtaking.  But then, I think that most of the cards in this deck are breathtaking.

What I see here is how everything is interconnected.  Everything feeds off each other and supports each other. Everything is connected in one way or another, and so those little things you do for self care?  They count, because they connect into the whole.  It is like the difference in my resting heart rate when I do my meditation regularly compared to when I don’t.   Ten minutes a day doing a self care thing that’s as simple as lying down and doing some breathing exercises while I focus inward… and my resting heart rate improves significantly… all day, every day.

The message in today’s card is that the small things matter. Self care, generosity to others, gratitude…. all of these things don’t need to be done in big showy actions or endeavors.  The small things are just as important, if not more so.  Do the small things and don’t worry so much about the big ones.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it always better to have more choices?

Ink Witch TarotReading Summary: Good things are given the room to begin (Ace of Cups) when you’re willing to let go of where you’re at and leave behind what isn’t working (Six of Swords), and build something new out of the ashes (The Tower).

Take Away: Yes, it’s always better to have more choices. But… only if you’re willing to be smart about how you make your choices, and accept that sometimes the best choice may involve deconstructing everything and starting over.

In my experience and observation, that is where most people get tripped up when they have what they feel are “too many choices” before them.  They know that the best and healthiest choice is the one that’s the most scary, so they try to choose something else instead, just to avoid that pain, fear, discomfort, or inconvenience that making the truly healthy choice would mean going through.  I am also guilty of this.

DECK USED:  INK WITCH TAROT

One on One

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_8536Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

I honestly don’t really remember the topic of the meditation, although I have the sense that I enjoyed it and that something “clicked” with it at the time. Unfortunately it seems that whatever that message was, I’ve either forgot it… or absorbed it and it’s been assimilated into the miasma of my brain already and is no longer an individual.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card, which is traditionally a representation of inner strength and courage, as well as having “sway” over others either through compassion, compulsion, or persuasion.

I personally love it when decks use personally familiar animals in their representations for certain cards, and the Strength card is definitely one of those. I have no real familiarity (other than academic) when it comes to lions, whereas using a wolf (as this card did) or a bear (as some others do) is far more familiar to me and something I enjoy a great deal.

For that reason, it’s the wolf that sticks out the strongest to me in this card today, I’m sure.  The woman behind the wolf is secondary, and yet by looking to the wolf and its physical cues, it draws your eyes to her as well for she is not just close, but holds a similar posture.  She appears to be on the same level with the wolf, and the wolf not just in physical position, but also in comfort levels, and as a result the wolf is calm in her presence instead of on the defensive.

Today’s card is a reminder that it’s important to approach people on their level. There will always be times when you will be certain you are correct, or smarter, or better at something.  But when we project those feelings of superiority upon our interactions with another, we become unapproachable as a result and we put other’s backs up, causing a break in the bridge between you and the other person where defensiveness can sneak in and screw up the conversation.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you take too seriously? Why?

Student Tarot v2 Stained GlassEight of Swords:  I take too seriously those things that I try to hide from instead of confront head on (Eight of Swords). This encompasses a good number of things from qualities in myself that I consider to be flaws, to that negative inner narrative. The thing is? When I try to ignore these things instead of dealing with them, it gives them time to strengthen and grow. I just started to learn this just this past year, and have begun trying to deal with these things instead of ignoring them as I have in the past. I still give them far too much weight.

Empress atop Knight of Swords: I take these things too seriously because I have not yet learned how to nurture myself while going after my goals and ambitions.

Seven of Cups: I always feel like I have to make a choice. A choice between being kind to myself or working hard. A choice between self care or my passions and drive. The Empress at the top of everything indicates that this is not a choice but rather an integration.  I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet… but I’m working on it.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v2 STAINED GLASS EDITION

Purefield.Healing’s Taking My Power Back Challenge Prompt
Question: To me, what does it mean to be powerless?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: Being forced to leave comfort and security (Nine of Pentacles) for new horizons (Eight of Cups) where others lead the way forward (Ace of Cups) through whims and manipulation (Three of Cups).

Take Away:  Powerlessness in the face of popularity. I see true powerlessness as being susceptible to peer pressure. The abandonment of one’s own individuality in yielding to the pressures, expectations, and emotional manipulations and machinations of others. 

This answer from the cards was a bit of a surprise.  Not that it isn’t true, but it was not what I was anticipating would come up when I pulled cards for this question. The thing is tho?  I do deeply feel that susceptibility to peer pressure (in its many forms) is a huge weakness. It’s something I help people with in small ways nearly every time I interact with others. I try to help them to see the worth of their own opinions, and the value in their unique differences.

Fitting in is not worth the abandonment of one’s self in the process, whether that self is one’s own personal values, the whisperings of one’s intuition or moral compass, or preferences on what one likes. Willfully choosing to abandon thee things to fit in with others is, in my opinion, true powerlessness made perhaps even worse by the fact that it is a choice, whether it feels like it or not.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

Tending Wounds

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_8514Today’s meditation was a little different than the norm of late.  Instead of doing a guided meditation or using a timer, I settled in with my earbuds and my favorite meditation music playing, and focused on a little poem/quote that I saw on Casper the Boy Diviner‘s Instagram this morning. He wrote it, and it really spoke to me.

Sometimes I forget that not everything is about self improvement and moving forward.  It’s important to remember what we’re doing now… right here in the now.   And that’s what this little poem said to me today. I think that much of the time, I spend far too much time trying to strive for more and better instead of enjoying what and who I am in this moment.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  This can arise in the form of new relationships, new emotions or feelings, or new creative ideas among other things.

What stands out to me in this imagery is that the blood moon is bleeding. Honestly, I wouldn’t normally associate this card with the Ace of Cups, because… it’s red.  I’m not entirely sure why I feel that way about the color red, but it just… I dunno.

Anyway, what I see here is a moon bleeding.  Blood on the moon bleeding into a dark ocean.  And to me this speaks more of endings than it does to beginnings.  Perhaps I would feel differently about this imagery if I read the guidebook for this deck, but I’ve yet to dive into the book.

The good thing about endings is that beginnings come afterward.  But first you must lance the wounds of the battle that has passed and wash away the cuts and bruises.  Here, this is what I see.  I see a representation of that time at the end of a journey when you finally get to take a shower, tend your wounds, lance the infection out of the wounds that became infected, and then move forward after.   Here in this image, I see that lancing taking place… the preparation that must come before the beginning can… begin.

This card’s appearance today is a reminder to take time off to breathe and recover, to make sure that your wounds (especially those inner emotional ones) are being tended to properly and are healing.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Something I am asked to work on during January.

Neon Tarot

 Reading Summary: More self-restraint (Knight of Wands Rx) on the things that I am obsessed about (The Devil) will in the end make me happier (Ten of Cups) rather than feeling so uncertain (The Moon).

Take Away:  Uncertainty is bred by allowing my addictions and obsessions to run wild.  This isn’t just about things that cost money like brand name cookies and decks, but also addictions like working too hard, pushing myself too far, etc.  This month I’m asked to work on “slowing my roll” a bit, and a bit of a breather so that I can find balance and help my self find a comfy happy space.   This is not one of my strong suits, but I am doing my best… and will continue to try.

DECK USED:  NEON TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How have you grown over the past year?

Bridgett's Mosaic Dream TarotReading Summary:  Don’t worry so much (Temperance) about what other people think (Six of Wands)  and just go for it (Eight of Wands).

Side note… I’m almost burnt out on the new years themes now.

Take Away: These cards are about being myself and allowing others to see the true me rather than the diluted and carefully restrained impression of me that I usually show.

I’ve always been very, very aware of my issues concerning social norms and ability to socialize “normally” with others. It has never been one of my strong suits.

Over the past year, as I’ve spent less time trying to please others and more time just trying to express myself clearly and do what I enjoy (as well as take care of myself) I’ve found that I’m far less hesitant to step in and offer my two cents or show parts of myself, my interests, and my personality that I would have otherwise kept hidden away from the world.

DECK USED:  BRIDGETT’S MOSAIC DREAM TAROT