Month: September 2019

Turning Over a New Leaf?

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty seconds long, and focused on the tone of our inner talk with ourselves.

The meditation specifically focused on questions that we ask ourselves, and whether these questions are fostering curiosity and exploration… or if they are self-defeating.

I think this is a good examination of our self talk, but I think it is limiting to consider only the questions we ask ourselves, instead of the inner discussions we have with ourselves as a whole.

The meditation was relaxing, and I even got a little bit of peace and quiet to do it by myself without somebody wandering into the room.

Today’s draw is the lovers card of the major arcana, which is a representation of choices, harmony, love and relationships, and the alignment of values between two or more parties.

The Lovers card is an encouragement to make the choice to give my family here a chance. Something has changed. There are still the occasional snide comment or ugly remark, but the lions share of the venom is missing compared to past experiences visiting this side of the family. Also missing are the sneaky, vindictive passive-aggressive tricks that used to be so common.

Whatever it is that made this change, I’m set a little off kilter by it and keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Today’s card is asking me to consider that maybe there isn’t another shoe. Maybe these changes are genuine and sincere.

This doesn’t mean I need to make up my mind right at this moment… but it is something to take into account and consider.

Choices… and Perspective

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I may have stumbled upon one of the new perspectives that my Self Care Saturday spread from earlier this week was referring to while I was in the shower last evening.

Fish

Sometimes in my mind I gripe about the shit I don’t like… as I’m sure most people do.  You know… not the people per se, but like the soft water in this house that has a weird taste and makes it fucking impossible to rinse all the conditioner out of my hair.

And then my mind kind of wandered on to thinking about my shower at home, which has much harder water and you come out of it feeling much cleaner.  And in the middle of this thought, I had a memory of when my aunt and cousin came to visit MY home for a while and how she had complained about my water being too hard.

And that got me to thinking…

Would I rather have her (or them) visiting my home?

Or would I rather be a guest in her home?

Her home.  Hands down, 100% completely her home.  That’s the answer.  I don’t like them in my home.  I don’t like any of them in my home. I don’t like them touching my stuff, putting ass prints on my furniture in odd places, or mingling their scents into the familiar scent of my home. I don’t like their energy mucking up my space, their dirty dishes, or their constant disturbances, or the need to feed them or entertain them.  I hate it.  All of it. I really do.

If coming here now and again keeps them from coming to my house?  It’s worth the discomfort.   Absolute, completely worth every little shred of the discomfort of being here.

And that is an entirely new perspective on visiting family that I hadn’t thought of before. So there you go… there really is gold at the end of the rainbow, you just have to dig in the mud to find it.

Taking Time

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on taking time to step out of the hectic and rushed energy we surround ourselves with in everyday life.

It used the story of the tortoise and the hare as an example of how sometimes, it’s not speed but succeeds, but rather taking the slow and steady path.

This is something I often forget, and it’s an apt reminder for today, and a message that goes well with the card that I pulled earlier today.

Today’s draw is the Hermit card, which is a representation of retreat into the solitary, inner reflection, and soul searching. As a Major Arcana card, it does not deal with individual aspects of the human experience so much as with the larger picture.

I am finding being around so many people on a constant basis very draining. Today, my sister and I are being given the opportunity to go off on our own for a bit and have decided that after a visit to the only metaphysical shop in town, we are going to visit one of the local apple orchards for some quiet time.

Today’s card is an indication that it is time for a bit of alone time. I don’t find my twin to be draining on my energy, and I’m hoping that this solitary time with her will help me to recharge a bit.

#5FaveSummerDecks2019 (non) VR to Sophquest Synergy

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This tag was brought to my attention by Simon over at the Hermit’s Cave, but originated from Sophquest Synergy.

In my mind (and on my excel spreadsheet), I very much sort my decks (not all of them, but many of them) by seasons.  It’s not that I won’t use these decks outside of those seasons if it feels right for the situation, but I’m so strongly connected to the seasons that I suppose it’s not a surprise I would associate many of my decks with one season or another.

I’ve limited the decks in this post, though, to the decks that I actually used during this summer of 2019.  Out of the “summery” decks that I’ve used this summer, these are the five that have really stood out for me….

Sum05

Stolen Child Tarot – Okay, so this one quickly stole the show for me this summer.  Or, should I say this September.   The thing is, though, that it rapidly has climbed to my #2 spot for all time favorite decks, right beneath the Tarot of the Hidden Realm.  I love the combination of whimsy and seriousness, the expressive complexity of the cards.  I just really connected with this deck, and the cardstock is just amazing.  It feels great to shuffle.

Sum04

Hanson Roberts Tarot – This has been a long time favorite of mine.  Mary Hanson Roberts does lovely work and I really like her depictions in this deck.  Of all RWS clones out there, this one is at the top of the list for me.  Like all the decks on this list, my “summer feel” is about color correlations, and crispness in artistic depiction.

SUM03

Luna Sol Tarot – You know those super hot days where the world feels baked crispy and white washed by the sun’s rays?  That’s what this deck reminds me of.  In my opinion, it makes a great end-of-summer deck for this reason.

Sum01

Linestrider Tarot (with the Hedgewitch Oracle) – When it comes to these two decks, I just can’t seem to have one without the other.  In my mind, they go together as one.  I know that they both really pair lovely with other decks, but I just can’t seem to separate them in my mind.  When I read with the Linestrider Tarot, I often shuffle the Hedgewitch Oracle directly into the deck.  I do it so often that I might end up leaving them some way at some point.

Sum02

Luminous Void Tarot – For me, this deck is the epitome of sticky summer heat and the melty smudge of cosmetics on women roasting as they go about their days in the oppressive heat of summer.  It’s all about dripping sweat, cloying humidity, and the sweltering of the sun beating down upon the world at the peak of summer.

Like I mentioned earlier.  Seasonal decks, to me, are all about color and the texture within the artwork  (as opposed to the texture of the cardstock).  For me, all of the decks above very much speak summer, and I’ve tried to explain why in each one that I see them that way.

Family

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes long, and focused on letting go of those things that are not working for you so that you can make room for new ideas and processes that will.

The guided meditations spoke on how changing seasons can be a good time to help in this process, as you can sync up your release of bad habits and other behaviors and time with the fall, and will come in new behaviors that will work better for you in the spring.

This is very similar to how I work with the moons phases, where the waxing moon between the full moon and the next new moon would be considered the time for release and correspond to autumn.

Today’s draw is the Ten of Cups, Which is a representation of the ending of a cycle, regeneration, and renewal in the area of the emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition. My sister calls this card the “happy family card”, because in many ways it represents that atmosphere with a focus on the bounty that you have in your emotional life. It is, essentially, the “all my Cups are full and life is good” card.

The appearance of this car today is a reminder that as much as there may be discord and disagreements and mistreatment and even abuse, the people that I am visiting right now are family. They might suck… but they are my family, and with all their flaws there is still value in that.

It might be something that you have to dig for to see, and really search for in order to find.… but it could be worse too, and has been in the past.

Deck Used: Morgan Greer Tarot in a Tin

Find the Fun

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes long and focused on softening fear Through mindfulness and staying in the present moment.

A lot of times fear and anxiety is caused by “What If” mentality. That is to say that we worry about the future and the “what ifs” that might happen but are not yet a reality.

If instead, we stick to the present moment and pay attention to this moment instead of spending time trying to predict the future… then there is less to be fearful for and your anxiety can ease as a result.

Today’s draw is the Knight of Rods, which is an active beta energy in the area of one’s passions, ambitions, drive, and willpower.

Today’s card is an encouragement to work at condensing my scattered energies, my frustrations, and my feelings of being rushed about into something positive. The night of frauds is telling me that these negative feelings and frustrations can be turned into his sense of impulsive adventure, and And become an inspiration for my passion and creativity.

As we are apparently going to be doing a lot of running around today, I think this is a good message to keep in mind to help me in actively keeping my eyes open to opportunities to make what would normally be considered a very trying day into something more fun and adventurous.