Letting Go

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and seven seconds, and focused on allowing thoughts to rise without judgement during one’s meditation practice, before then setting them aside and returning focus upon the breath.

This practice provides acknowledgment of the thoughts without allowing you to get lost in them. It felt a bit like floating in the ocean, the water lifting and lowering me with its movements, but on a mental plane instead of a physical one.

This activity was actually quite useful to me today. After last night’s discussion with you I’ve been feeling a bit stressed and worried. By allowing these thoughts to surface instead of just pushing them aside or suppressing them, it felt like I was dealing with them rather than trying to ignore them.

Today’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is a representation of rest, respite, and recovery (especially after chaos) in the areas pertaining to thought, logic, and communication.

The Four of Cups I drew yesterday was pushing me to deal with an issue that I really didn’t want to deal with. Today’s Four of Swords is saying that now that I’ve dealt with the issue I was stressing over through our discussion last night, it’s time to take a deep breath and ease my thoughts and worries.

After I shared with you last night I didn’t really feel relief, although I did feel that a weight was lifted. I’m not really sure how to explain that except that my worry continued on.

Both last night and this morning I’ve wavered over whether telling you was the right move, even though I should KNOW it is. And honestly, the milk is spilt now, so I don’t even know why I keep going over it in my mind.

The Four of Swords is telling me that I need to let go of these worries. I need to take a deep breath and just let what happens happen now that the bomb has dropped and chaos it entailed has come to an end.

One thought on “Letting Go

  1. I am glad that you told me, my love. And there is no other shoe. I love you, it’s just that simple. And so very complex.

    My love for you is for always. Forever. And it’s unconditional.

    I may not -like- that it took you so long to tell me, but you did and you are still my perfection. Still my beautiful babyboy. And you always will be.

    I love you man. Always. All ways.

    Like

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