tarot self care

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – The Hierophant and The Lovers – Remember that you are in the process of learning how to be open and how to choose love. How to choose emotion and not just logic and intuition. Take time to recognize that on this path of emotional growth you’ve been on, the emotional factors aren’t going to stay in a nice little box away from the other areas of my life.  This isn’t something you can compartmentalize, so when emotions start to make themselves known in the areas of your life that you’re used to being very steadily grounded… don’t panic.  And don’t close down.  Ride it out instead and choose to stay open.

Air – Seven of Diamonds and Blossom – These cards are all about growth, and relate back to what was said in the Earth section of this reading in that you need to make sure you aren’t reacting negatively to this phase of natural growth.  You’ve been on this path for a long time now, but that doesn’t mean growing pains still aren’t possible or won’t happen.  Just remember to stay focused on what you want to come out as the end result.

Water – Nine of Hearts and Passage –  Again we hearken back to the lesson in the Earth section of this reading.  Here in the place of emotion  and relationships we see a card of passage that moves us from a place of darkness to one of light joined with a card signifying emotional harmony.  That emotional harmony is the goal that you seek.  The cards here indicate that you might feel some confusion or disillusionment this week, but you need to keep your eye on the prize.

Fire – Death and Potential – With every change, a new opportunity is born.  Again we have a card here that speaks of gradual change.  In the Air section this was about growth, but here we see the death of what is being left behind, and the seed of something new.  During the week ahead, consider what things relating to your drive and your business that you want to let go of.  Only by letting go can you make room for something new.

Waning – Wing Taps – This week is going to test your calm and your resolve to stick with the changes and growth that you’ve chosen to follow through with.  It may be stressful, and you’ll probably have some trouble dealing with your anxiety.

Waxing – Squirrel Smells – Centering and grounding will be extremely important this week in keeping things calm and collected and your anxiety at bay.  Make sure to meditate, and use mindfulness exercises with your senses to bring you into the here and now when things begin to feel overwhelming.

Take Away – Stress and anxiety this week are going to make it difficult to stay open and allow your emotional growth to continue to have the reigns.  It’s going to start showing in other areas of your life and don’t let that freak you out.  Use your meditation practice as well as mindfulness based centering and grounding techniques to help yourself in staying calm and open to the changes taking place.

DECKS USED: ALAN TAROT, ROOTS AND WINGS ORACLE, MINDFUL KIDS CARDS BY LITTLE RENEGADES

Be More Careful

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and took place in the bathtub.  I spent a great deal of time in the bathtub today actually.  What was supposed to be an hour in the tub with meditation and a little relaxation turned into two hours… and included a nap. Yes, I know that I need to be more careful about that.  I promise… it wasn’t intentional.  It was just so comfortable that I ended off dozing off.

Funny enough, I did my first reading for someone else in the tub today as well.   Mostly because I didn’t feel like getting my ass out and going to my reading table.   I have a few waterproof decks beside the bath so I just did it there and laid them out on the bath mat beside the tub.   Oddly?  I think it gave my interpretation ability a bit of a warmer tone.  Like… as in the reading seemed a bit more emotion based than normal.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Pan, The DevilToday’s draw is the Pan card (The Devil), which is traditionally a representation of temptations and self destructive behaviors.  This can include things like addictions as well as the development of bad habits, or allowing oneself to be “lead astray”.

This is me… sleeping in the tub.   I mean it’s really that clear to me in this moment.  I know it’s supposed to kind of look like sex or surrender, but what I see here in this imagery today is her… floating.  She looks like she’s floating.   In fact, when I first pulled this card today, I barely noticed the Pan at all, only her.

The message in this card is a warning that I need to pay attention to.  It tells me that sleeping in the tub is more than just “flirting” with danger, but is truly dangerous, and I need to make more of an effort to not doze off when I’m in there.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What boundaries must be established for me to feel safe when confronting my trauma?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: The Nine of Wands popped out while I was considering whether I wanted to have this question be about boundaries for myself or boundaries for others. This card indicates that the boundaries are about myself.

Both the Nine of Wands and the Queen of Swords are pointing to the past (to the left) indicating that I need to make sure that I am keeping my past out of my healing process.

The High Priestess indicates that in order to make the decisions on when my past can be incorporated and when I can’t, I need to look inside myself and make sure that I am taking a healthy path and not a hurtful one (indicated by the Priestess’ heart crossed arms).

Take Away:  My past is not there to help me heal… it’s what I’m healing from. I need to be judicious in how I incorporate my past into my healing journey in order to ensure it only does good and not harm.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to hear right now?

Tarot of WhyReading Summary: It’s OK to take control (The Chariot) of your personal time and retreat when you need (Four of Swords) to as long as you’re doing it in healthy ways (Four of Cups) that make you happy and bring joy to your life (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading should be titled “Don’t Be A Sourpuss”.  If you’re going to take time for yourself, that’s okay… but make sure it’s for the right reasons.  Healthy reasons.  Don’t retreat just to wallow in a crappy mood or allow yourself to be a grump.  Alone time needs to be a time of restoration and enjoyment.

This is actually good advice because when I’m feeling grumpy and pessimistic, I have a habit of retreating into myself.  This habit has a purpose, as when I am dealing with an actual major depressive episode, this allows me to continue to function even though I’m a complete mess on the inside.  By pulling into myself, many people can’t even tell what’s really going on… and thus I can continue to put on the appearance that everything is fine and function normally under the observation of others.

The thing is, though, I don’t need to use this method outside of my MDEs.  It’s become a habit to retreat for any negative emotion, regardless of whether it’s clinical grade depression or not.   And that…. is not healthy.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best support and nurture positive growth in my community at this time?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: You have the tools (The Magician) to help others reason out (King of Swords) their conflicts (Five of Wands) and come to a resolution (King atop Five). Spend some time with your friends and have some fun (Three of Cups). You can bring them together and resolve their disagreements to restore positive balance in the relationship (The Sun).

Take Away:  This reading is about J and his parents.  Both J and his dad are out of work right now, and living in the same house.  They butt heads a lot when they have to spend too much time together, which has been their situation for the past few months.

I stopped by J’s place today on my way home from my hike and threw horseshoes out in the yard with him and his dad.  His mom came to me before I left to give me her customary hug and thanked me.  She said that coming over helped disperse some of the tension in the house, and especially between J and his dad.  She told me I should come over more often and stop avoiding them because of the pandemic issues.

It was nice that I was able to help.  I very much do worry about the whole pandemic thing and accidentally bringing it to their home tho, just as J does… which is why he’s not hanging out over here at my house much these days.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better focus on the future while being present in the present?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: When things build up and eventually get to a point of  noticeable change (Death), it can sometimes create an emotional mess from worry, pain, and sense of loss (Three of Swords). But, if you focus on your passions and hold steadfast to your goals in the present (King of Wands), you’ll have the tools you need to move forward into the future (The Magician).

seraphimSide Note:  You know, I just realized something about this deck. A lot of the imagery in these cards remind me of the Catholic representations of the higher hierarchy angels like the Seraphim and Cherubim. Multiple wings, multiple eyes… and just sayin’?  But the image I’ve chosen to share here in this post is one of the least freaky of the depictions I’ve seen.

Okay so back to the reading…

Take Away:  That’s the thing about the present, yeah?  It’s full of changes.  Every day there are changes, some good and some not so good.  Sometimes they slip by without being noticed, but other times it’s like you trip over them and skin both knees in the process.    Those changes that you trip over are why it’s so hard to stay in the present sometimes instead of becoming overly focused on the future.  The fear and other emotions they illicit make you want to turn away and look to something better, to disengage with the change and the feelings they create.

The cards here say that instead of disengaging by looking forward, a better path would be to focus on the things that spark your fire and keep you going.  Focus on what you can do now, and apply your attention and abilities to these things.  Let the future take care of itself.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Morning Bonus Read – Surge Capacities

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week I read an article about how all of our “surge capacities” are depleted right now. So! That’s this week’s prompt: some self-diagnosis of our mental and emotional capacities at the moment.”

Bones Playing Cards Dust Edition by Brain Vessel

Am I in or approaching mental burnout?
Queen of Clubs

Not at the moment.  I’m going strong and confident in my path, no particular burdens holding me down or keeping me from fulfilling my potential concerning my passions or my business.

Am I in or approaching emotional burnout?
Five of Hearts

Absolutely. Don’t allow your pessimistic side to take charge and overpower the efforts you’re making toward optimism.  Over the past week or so, that’s something I’ve definitely done, and it’s time to catch what’s going on and get back on the right track before the pessimism drags me down and tries to bury me.

In what ways will I continue to need to operate on “surge capacity” because I don’t have an option?
Ten of Spades

With the holiday rush right around the corner and preparations underway, you’re going to begin to feel the strain of added pressure and crave  that ending that comes at the end of the holidays.  It’s a long way off yet, and you have a long way to go.  Be prepared to accept that if that craving starts showing up early, you’re going to have to push through regardless of feeling you’ve reached the end of your rope.

In what ways am I expecting too much from myself and I can back down?
Two of Diamonds

You don’t have to juggle as much as you are.  When things feel like too much, it’s time to let some of those extraneous activities and responsibilities falling to the wayside.  This includes these readings and other related activities if needed.  You can only juggle so much, and especially during the holiday season, your paying responsibilities have to take priority over everything else.

What is one thing I can do to build my mental and emotional reserves back up?
Three of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds

Take time to slow down and spend time with your loved ones.   It can be hard to slow down, but in doing so you are taking a bit of the strain off  your shoulders instead of leaving yourself in a constant state of pressure.

Also, remember that those that love you want to help, and they want to support you. Make sure that you’re asking them for help when you feel like you’re moving at a crawl.

DECK USED: BONES PLAYING CARDS DUST EDITION BY BRIAN VESSEL

Always Be Prepared

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for the shifting of my piriformis stretches.   The topic of the guided meditation today was actually something that I think I needed to hear.

It’s about the semantics of language… and the power of language.  It’s about the importance of how we phrase things, because how we phrase things dictates in many ways how we internalize things.

For example… being conscious of changing phrases in our dialog (both internal and external) from  “I am angry” to “I feel angry”.   There is a very important, key difference between these two phrases.   That is because we are not our emotions. We feel our emotions.

Next World Tarot - The MagicianToday’s draw is the Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of… well, essentially… The Magician is “the man with all the tools”. You know that guy (or gal) that you always go to when you need a tool you don’t own, because you know they’ll have it… even if it’s a tool you’ve never heard of before? That’s the Magician. He has all the tools for any job, and he knows how to use them to get the job done.

Sometimes, these tools are not physical, but also mental.  And that’s what stands out to me in the imagery of this card. The titles of the books sitting before the woman are “Pathology”, “Herbal Medicine”, “Emergency First Response”, and “Feminist Theory”. She sits with a notebook invariably filled with notes and marked notations, post-it notes sticking out every which way. This is is a woman that is not just prepared (look at that pack sitting behind her) but also is preparing.

Today was the drive up north day, and this message was a reminder to make sure I had everything I needed for the trip.  That includes the new box of protein bars that has been sitting on the counter for almost a week, and a few extra bottles of water.   It means making sure I check the traffic before hand so that I can avoid the two accidents along the way that would have increased my drive time by at least two hours.  It means making sure I put my post office box key back in my wallet.

All of these things are things I did thanks to the reminder in this card this morning.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I be proactive in expressing that I have these unreasonable expectations?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t (Eight of Cups). This is your problem (The Tower) from your childhood (Six of Cups) that you need to deal with.

Take Away:  The expectation that was revealed in yesterday’s reading was unrealistic and narcissistic.   No one can know what I need without me telling them. None of the people in my support system are psychic.  Although they are all willing to step in and help when needed? None of them can predict when that might be.  That’s what communication is for.    The fact that I avoid reaching out isn’t their problem, it’s mine.  It stems from my childhood and is something I need to work on.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: This Month’s Lesson / Next Month’s Theme

Big Things In Small Packages TarotThis Month’s Lesson – The Emperor – I’ve had a couple of lessons this month, but the one mentioned here is that I am working on finding that balance between the new emotional depth I’ve discovered this year, and the authority and responsibility of life. Through most of the summer I have let my emotional growth take the lead, but now that it’s sliding into the fall, I need to start preparing for the upcoming holiday rush.  This month has been a lesson in finding that place of responsibility and control… while maintaining the new emotional openness and depth that I’ve been experiencing.

Next Month’s Theme – Queen of Cups – Where August was about finding a way to bring responsibility and control into the equation with my emotional growth, the Queen of Cups indicates that September’s theme will be about balance and stability in my emotions in a way that will work well with my responsibilities instead of against them.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Topic: Give a thought to what you want to attract or manifest before the end of 2020 and draw a card of confirmation.

Hero Analysis For the Future #79 MHA TarotWhat I want to Manifest – Super strong holiday season sales with lots of customers buying lots of expensive gifts from my online shops.

The Magician – You have all of the tools at your fingertips to make this happen. Even if there may be things that rise up to stand in your way, you have the tools and abilities necessary to defeat and/or circumvent these issues and continue on to your goal.

Keep your eye on the prize, because success is in your hands. It’s all up to you.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I best help others at this time?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary: Bear witness (imagery in the Seven of Swords) to their pain (Three of Swords). Actively reach out with kindness (Knight of Cups), and give them something to be inspired by (King of Wands).

Take Away:  Although I am a good listener and always happy to be supportive and help others, I am not particularly skilled at “holding space”.   I am referring to that silent stillness of just sitting in silence with someone who is in distress or in pain.  I feel the need to fix things or actively help in some way.  I know that’s not always possible.

The cards here indicate that when these situations arise, it’s okay to both hold space… and provide hope and a sort of focus that can carry them through.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

Time To Climb

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Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I got so far into the zone that I don’t think I heard a word of it.  It was very relaxing and was primarily focused on the selenite resting against my solar plexus, and the ebb and flow of my energy timed to match my breaths.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Four (Four of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of taking time to rest and recover, a restorative pause along your path, and can indicate a time of needed recuperation and healing.

I actually have a bit of difficulty with the imagery on this card.  Something about it hearkens back to the Lady Freda Harris artwork of the original Thoth deck, and although this card does not make me internally flinch the way the artwork in that other deck does?  It does create a feeling of discomfort. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the curved rays crisscrossing behind the sun?   I don’t know.  It’s uncomfortable.

That said… I do see the symbolism here in the figure in the center and the glowing sun.  The mountains and clouds.   And that actually does speak to me today.

The message here is a reminder that sometimes restoration and recovery isn’t about taking a nap or lying down, or resting the body at all.   Sometimes it’s about getting outside and connecting with nature, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the exertion of doing something you love that makes the body work and lungs strain.

It’s a reminder that I need to go for a hike this weekend.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What are my expectations of how my loved ones should support my healing?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: They should instinctively know what I need (The High Priestess), and come forward on their own to take on more responsibility and control (The Chariot) so that I don’t feel so overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  Well, that made me squirm a bit to admit. Okay so I guess I do sort of feel this way sometimes… even though I know that these expectations are ridiculous, and that I need to communicate what’s going on so that my loved ones know what I need and when I need it. As much as they want to help, they aren’t mind readers.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What accomplishment from this month deserves celebration?

Stunning TarotReading Summary: Choosing (Two of Swords) to work on my inner dynamic (The High Priestess) by focusing on the good in my life and what makes me happy (Nine of Cups), and prioritizing it  over the habitual urge to close myself off and bear down on my business (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Honestly, I hadn’t really felt like I had accomplished all that much this month. And then this reading made me realize that I might have something done something rather significant after all.  The fact that this is such a significant accomplishment is that it’s something I have never done before.  Something I never would have even considered okay to do.

But this year I’ve worked very hard to allow my emotional growth some free reign, and to give myself more slack than I’ve ever given myself before.  I’ve found myself trying to heal inner wounds I didn’t even realize existed and, in some cases, actually thought were positive traits.  Traits that I’ve come to realize are harmful.

This month I made it the entire month where every day I made a concerted effort to not push so hard or demand so much, but instead focus upon the things that make me happy and create positive emotional responses.  I’ve focused on not abusing myself, but instead fostering that internal need to do less, and enjoy more.    I think that’s pretty significant.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Topic: Give thought to all of your August lessons and draw a card.

Encore Tarot - Knight of Swords“Preparation paves the road” is the lesson that came to mind in relation to this month and that is the lesson I focused upon when pulling this card. The Knight of Swords here then signified the swift action that prior preparation and planning can encourage. It’s much easier to go after what you want and get the things done that you need to get done, when you’ve done the prep work first and everything is in order and ready for you.

Somewhere along the line I managed to forget this very valuable lesson. I have been saving all of my orders work to be done on certain days, and on other days I was just doing random crap that needed done. This might work when things are really slow… but it doesn’t work at all when you have a lot that needs to get done.  As the end of the month has approached, this lesson has become more and more apparent, and it’s time to start spreading my work out more, so that I’m not racing the clock so often or doing so many all-nighters on Mondays and Thursdays.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel without sadness/anger/disappointment?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Incomplete (Nine of Swords) and half blind (Eight of Swords) with very little motivation (Knight of Wands Rx).

Note:  Nine of Swords represents “incomplete” in this spread because the question is about cutting out everything that the Nine of Swords represents.  This makes its presence in the spread an outlier… on the edges alone and bleeding.

Take Away:  The fact is is that people need these negative emotions to help balance out the positive ones. Without that balance you cannot be whole and complete… nor can you grow, because you will be left blinded and unable to see due to half of the language the world uses teach you being silenced.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Healthy Retreat vs. Bad Timing

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was an energy cleansing exercise using selenite and black tourmaline at the end for helping in closing things back up after.   It was very relaxing and went far more quickly than I thought it would.  I hadn’t actually set a timer, just the interval chimes for changing my piriformis positions.   It went well and was very relaxing.

Next World Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is The Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of retreating for self reflection and contemplation.  This isn’t about retreating to hide, but rather because sometimes when you are digging deep into yourself you need to do it away from others so that you can lower your defenses and get a clear look at what’s going on and the path to take forward.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the artwork of this card is the colors. The absolutely speak to me of being alone, but they don’t speak to me of the healing that is needed. It means that the imagery on this card today speaks to me not about alone time, but about retreat and closing off.

I feel like closing off today.  I feel like a bit of a failure today, and a disappointment. The thing is?  A little alone time or self reflection may be a good thing, but too much is unhealthy… as is bad timing. Now?  Is bad timing.  It’s not healthy to let these feelings fester and grow, and if I follow that urge to close off right now?  That’s exactly what will happen.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What can I do to prepare myself for obstacles along my healing journey?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure that I don’t allow my fears (Nine of Swords) to close me off from (The Hermit Rx) the emotional support and healing warmth that others have to offer (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  When I am feeling vulnerable, I find it extremely difficult to reach out to others, especially for comfort and emotional support.  This is not a healthy way to deal with things, and the cards here indicate that I need to not just keep in mind that there are people that want to support me, but that my healthiest and most healing option is to reach out to them and allow that support and comfort to wash over me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Which is more real… mind or matter?

Vivid Journey TarotReading Summary: Matter carries on (Ten of Pentacles) long after the mind has passed on (The Fool), no matter the legacy we wish to leave behind (Queen of Wands).

Take Away:  Reincarnation is very much a part of my faith, and thus the Fool in this spread is a representation of rebirth.  And yet, in our rebirth, we do not automatically maintain the memories of our past lives and experiences. We must start anew.  This is why love and wisdom are shared while you are alive, and material possessions are passed on after death.   The continued existence of material items even after the death of the mind and moving on of the soul, therefore, makes material more real (in our human reality).

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Air, how should I begin to apply your teachings?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Work at looking at your work in a different way (Eight of Pentacles atop The Hanged Monster) and resting when you need it (Four of Swords). The emotional and inspirational connection will come back if you stick with it (Ace of Cups with Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The teachings referred to here have to do with yesterday’s reading about bringing emotions, pleasure, and joy back into my work.  The answer here is that it’s something that will come over time with a bit of determination, as long as I make sure to be mindful about instilling this more joyful perspective into my work and make sure I’m not allowing myself to become overburdened or burnt out by taking healing rest when needed.

When I am overburdened, I shut out the pleasure and joy and emotions… and bear down on the responsibility aspects.  To instill these tenants back into my work, it is important to avoid putting myself in situations where the urge to block out these things rises up.  Be aware, pay attention, and act with intention rather than reacting.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I get better at expressing my feelings without hurting others?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: Take a pause (Four of Pentacles). What would Gid do? (Knight of Cups) Approach as a friend (Three of Cups) and climb that hill slowly and carefully (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about moving slowly rather than just blurting out in a reactionary manner.  By taking a pause and actively looking to others who express their emotions in more socially accepted ways, I can then learn how to express my own better as well.

There is also a reminder here that I need to approach those that I’m trying to speak to about my feelings as a friend.  This is another skill that is something I’m learning, as my normal mode is not usually so… warm.   These are skills that take time to learn, but I am on that path.  I just need to remember not to get impatient and careless.  It’s not a sprint, but a long journey of growth.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT