tarot self care

Morning Bonus Read – WTF

/ Twist the Leaf / Leave a comment

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“I found this on Pinterest this week, and loved it, therefore this is your prompt for this week!! Pick a topic, and apply this spread!”

WTF Tarot Spread - Corvid Romantic Playing Cards

Chosen Topic:  My unfounded feelings of trepidation concerning the upcoming holiday rush.

The Face of My Challenge
Six of Feathers

Change.  The face of my challenge is change and the shift of things from one situation to another.  I’m feeling a good deal of discomfort and a need to fall back on old habits.  These old habits are unhealthy and do not serve me at all, but are simply what is familiar.  Instead, I need to make sure I continue to move forward instead of backsliding.

The Crux of What Hounds Me
Ace of Roses

Concern over undoing all the new progress I’ve made this year.  I’ve grown so much over the year, and I am aware that that new emotional growth I’ve been fostering for the past few months is still tenuous and new. I worry that the new beginnings I’ve been fostering are still too delicate to withstand the savage storm of the holiday rush.

What is real about this?
Three of Crystals

I have people to help me and collaborate with me when I need them.  I am not in this alone.  I have the support I need and I need to include them in the process from the beginning, not pull them in later when things are chaotic and a mess.  Allow these people in my life to help so that everything doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders.

What is wrong about this?
Two of Roses

My discomfort and struggle with leaning into those that love me and want to support me.  As mentioned above.  They want to support me.  They want to help.  This discomfort and guilt is useless and is completely unfounded. I understand that this is one of my shadows, and one I will have to deal with over time, but for now I need to keep in mind that these feelings come from within and are not reality.

Where do I need more info?
Six of Crystals

It would be a good idea to delve into in what ways others are willing to help me and be proactive about getting that help… Rather than waiting until I need it and sticking them with tasks that they would prefer not to deal with.  This is about even distribution of the work load so that the help that they are offering is used to its best advantage, and it is a suggestion that has recently come up in a previous reading as well.

What can I do?
Ace of Crystals

Focus on the task at hand, and accept that it’s going to be different this year… and that’s OK. It can lead to better things.

DECK USED:  CORVID ROMANTIC PLAYING CARDS

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / Leave a comment

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Sasuraibito Tarot, Hedgewitch Botanical Oracle, Sacred Rebels Oracle

Earth – Ten of Swords and Golden Poppy (Dream) – It’s time to let go of what has distracted your focus and latch on to your dreams of the future. The sedative side of the Golden Poppy is expressed in the Ten of Swords in that there is a time when you change from one cycle to the next where there is a moment of pause. A moment to rest and re-calibrate. Take this week as an opportunity to do just that. The last quarter of each year is a blur of responsibilities you’ve been able to coast slowly on over most of the year so far. It’s time to shift gears.

Air – Ten of Cups and St John’s Wort (Stabilize) – Now is the time to find your balance emotionally and focus on the abundance of positive relationships you have in your life. See clearly and communicate your feelings and your gratitude for those in your life that enrich your experiences day-to-day. Taking time to do this now will help you feel more stable and secure in the future, as you are building a foundation of confidence and comfortable security that will help balance out harder times to come.

Water – Judgement Rx and Violet (Attract) – Work on being a little less judgey and a little less of an ass.  This may not currently be being expressed blatantly in an outward way that others can put their finger on, but you know it’s true. Even hidden, these habits cause a negative reaction in others.  Make sure that you’re not jumping to conclusions this week, and you’ll be far more likely to remain in everyone’s good graces.

Fire – Ace of Pentacles and Marshmallow (Adversity) – This is not the week to start any new projects or change the status quo on any of your investments. Doing so will be an uphill climb that will expend far too much of your energy for far too little result.  Instead, take the advice given in the Earth section of this reading and use this week as a time of rest and re-calibration.  You’ll have time to explore new projects later on.

Waning – Shock of the New – Over the course of this year I’ve done a lot of exploration on “the New”.   New emotions. New ways of doing things. New ways of thinking about myself, my work, and the world around me.  So much new that at times it’s been a bit overwhelming, but I’ve allowed the tides and eddies of flowing newness take and buffet me along.  With the fall now upon us, this card indicates it’s time to start winding down on all of “the New” this week.

Waxing – Softly, Softly, The Tender Touch – Don’t push. The theme of this week is rest and re-calibration.  That doesn’t mean turn on a dime and push full force into autumn preparations.  It means taking time to gently and carefully pack away what is going to be in the way over the next little while.  This is not a funeral, it’s a gentle and temporary storage.

Take Away – Lets repeat it again.  Rest and Re-Calibration.   This is the theme that has surfaced through this reading.  Although I’m aware of the approach of the holiday rush and have plenty to do to get prepared for it, it’s going to be important that I don’t push too hard this week.  Take this time to ease into the mindset needed.  Don’t bury… don’t release… don’t smother or otherwise discount any of the work you’ve done over the summer and spring.  It’s all valid, it’s all important.  Acknowledge it and gently place it in safe keeping.   Don’t make any big decisions this week, and put some conscious thought into not being a judgemental ass… externally or internally.

DECKS USED: SASURAIBITO TAROT, HEDGEWITCH BOTANICAL ORACLE, SACRED REBELS ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Fulfillment, Gratitude, and Joy

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s look at the flip side: fulfillment, gratitude, and joy. Did you know that one of biggest tools against burnout and stress is gratitude? (You know, apart from needed mental health treatment and care.)”

Alchemy England 1977 Playing Cards

Where in my life am I experiencing fulfillment?
Ten of Spades

I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself lately.  It’s about that whole “survival” thing.  The fact that I have been through so much, dealt with so many devastating hurdles, and not just survived them but thrived in their wake.  Remembering this gives me confidence, and a feeling of fulfillment that comes from a sense of accomplishment.

What is something in my life this year that I’m grateful for?
Nine of Diamonds

See, the thing is?  Even though the pandemic has sucked ass, and even though I lost all but one of my part time jobs for a good part of the spring and summer… and have only really picked back up half the work load (working for others) that I had pre-pandemic?  I have been able to adjust my finances to take the brunt of these changes without damaging anything other than the amount of time it will take to pay off my mortgage.

Yes, I want it paid off… but I’m relieved to have spent so much time busting my ass to pay the highest amount possible per payment because it prepared me for what’s going on now… when I need to pay less. Because of this, my situation is still stable… and I’m so grateful for that.

What is something in my life this year that brings me joy?
Seven of Clubs

I’m kickin’ ass, baby.  Building off the previous question in a way, what has brought me (and brings me) joy this year is that I have been able to support not just my lifestyle and those that I love with my efforts, but also continue to keep my business thriving during this time when so much has swung out of sync and is not the norm.

What is something in my life this year that I am succeeding at?
Six of Spades

I am succeeding at finding a better way.  A new path. It has taken a good part of this year to work through the psychological process of letting go of how I have done things in the past.  It’s a struggle not to push myself beyond my limits, and actually allow myself the healing rest and recuperation I need.  Walking away from that highly abusive dynamic I had going on previously is not an easy task, not a quick one.  But I am succeeding at it, one step at a time.

DECK USED:  ALCHEMY ENGLAND 1977 PLAYING CARDS

Transitioning from August to September

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

This is a spread that I do at the end of each month to close out the month.

Month End Tarot Check In - Hilda Tarot, Roots and Wings Oracle

Individuality – The High Priestess, Six of Swords, Earth Mother – I’m in the process of trying to find a balance between my intuitive self and my more grounded qualities.  I’ve recently discovered that to find an easy balance is going to take scrapping old methods and rebuilding a dynamic that is more hospitable to both.

Dependence – Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, The Divine – As I move further into the fall and closer to the holiday rush, I begin to step away from a sense of wallowing in the comfort and security I’ve created.  Although spirituality will continue to play a part in my life even through the silly season, I am aware that I will need to let go of some practices for a bit until things calm down again.

Creativity – King of Wands, Potential, Wildness – I leave behind the shelter of wallowing in comfort in order to reach for what I want out of the months to come.  I focus ahead now, seeking the potential that the holiday rush represents.  It’s a wild ride, but one I willingly do each year as my finances depend upon the holiday rush to balance out.

Limitation – Seven of Swords and Perseverance – While looking ahead toward the holiday rush, don’t freak out about the time passing by.  You only have so long to prepare for what’s coming, but you need to accept as well that distractions happen and using time for self care and other things that are good for you  isn’t wasting time.  Yes, it might mean you get a bit less done, but it means that you are building yourself up to last longer in the long run.

Change – The Magician and The Void – The Magician has been following me around a lot over the past few days.  It is a reminder that I am a strong and capable person, well prepared and well educated, and more than able to deal with anything that comes my way.  Do not allow uncertainty to convince you otherwise.

Sympathy – The Star, The Fool, Vulnerability – These cards are a reminder of a past event that is relevant at this time.  The message here is about how sometimes you just blindly have faith and go after what you want and… even though such times often result in uncertainty and vulnerability… you always end up coming out the other side okay.  Wounds heal… experience lasts forever and teaches you how to deal with things a different and better way the next time.

Luck – The World and Transformation – I have a chance to make lasting changes at this time.  It’s important to not look back, and not backslide.  Keep your eye on the prize and reach for those changes and strive for forward motion.  I’ve spent the lions share of this year working at not just emotional growth, but in finding a better balance between work and life.  Now that I am entering into the time of year that is the most stressful for me, I need to make sure that my focus on preparation doesn’t turn into obsession and edge out the progress I’ve made over the last few months.

Power – Wheel of Fortune, Knight of Pentacles, Joy – Don’t allow the little irritations and upsets steal away my confidence, my progress, or my joy.  Just yesterday I did a reading that spoke on this.   Shit happens.  You need to roll with the punches and keep moving.  Adapt and continue instead of letting hurdles stand in your way and block your path forward.

Responsibility – Eight of Pentacles, Time, Hope – The future opportunity here is about my work and time management. It’s about making sure that I am staying optimistic and using my time wisely to prepare for what’s coming.  I’ve gone through the rush a number of times now. I know what I need to have done ahead of time to make things go more smoothly.

Message from Spirit World – You are capable and strong, knowledgeable and powerful in your own right.  Life is a series of ups and downs, but you have the grounded spirit, the capable hands, and the know-how to take on the world and suss out what you want from it.

Message from Mind’s World – Move forward from the swaddled comfort of the summer and into the new energy of the fall.  This time of harvest for so many is your time of preparation.  Allow your spark to catch fire and lead you forward to where you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally. Preparation for the holiday season is about more than just the supplies and products that need to be made and stockpiled… because you need to be readied as well.

Message from Known World – Spending some time having a bit of fun might feel like a waste of time, but it’s actually a deeply seated need that you have to attend to in order to continue to grow and get to where you want to be not just in the physical world with your business, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Take Away – Balance. This is all about balance and making sure that I’m not neglecting the needs of my body, mind, emotions, and spirituality by sacrificing them on the altar of work and commerce. It’s okay to take time for yourself.  It’s okay to have a little fun and allow your mind to slide away from work and the business prep for the holidays for a bit now and then.  It will not be the end of the world if you aren’t focusing every single ounce of your attention and energy on what’s coming in November.

DECKS USED:  THE HILDA TAROT, ROOTS AND WINGS POCKET ORACLE

Side note:   I just noticed for the first time in this post that when I am doing readings for myself, I bounce between first person and second person as if I am both simultaneously reading to myself as myself… and reading to myself as if across the table from myself.

Everyone Is Lovable To Someone

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was relatively uneventful and quiet.  Which is honestly a little surprising because that never seems to happen anymore.  The fire alarm decided to wait until after I’d gotten through my meditation to go off tho, so that was nice at least.

And yes, everything is fine.  It looks like someone was trying to break into the storage room and a buddy of theirs went and pulled the fire alarm to work as a distraction to give them time without interruption.    They didn’t get in so… yeah.

Next World Tarot - Three of CupsToday’s draw is the Three of Cups, which is traditionally interpreted as a “joyous joining” of friends whether in celebration, or collaboration, or just in friendship on its own.

Honestly? I’m not sure how I feel about the pink smiling shark.  I find it really distracting in the imagery of this card, and so I suppose I should consider it as the message.  The fact is, though? It’s just weird.

That said?  I can work with that.   It stands out…. so lets go with the shark.  The shark in this card appears among others and does not show its teeth.  Instead it is a shade of friendly pink and sports a smile.  This actually hearkens back to something I was thinking about in the shower yesterday. I had a client recently that insisted that they were unlovable and would never find a partner.  They were very upset and I refused to do a reading for them on that day. Instead, I told them I had something for them to think about.   I told them that even some of the shittiest people in the world that have people that love them.  Assholes and abusers, haters and closed minded bigots.  These horrible people managed to find someone to love them, so someone like him that isn’t horrible? Has not just as much of a chance of finding someone, but even more of a chance at it.

The shark clearly has friends in this imagery even though it’s a predator swimming among creatures he considers food.  Instead the shark gets along with them, makes friends with them.   So too can those that feel they are unlikable or unlovable find friendships and love.

The message in this card is that no one is unlovable.  No one is unlikable. We just feel that way sometimes.

And can I just say?  Sometimes at the end of the month I’m not ready to move on to different decks and wish for more time with the ones I’ve worked with for the month… but this month?  I’m so ready to move on from this deck and the Tarot of the Sidhe.  I can’t wait for the decks that come up for these pulls starting tomorrow.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What’s the next actionable step I can take to move forward down the path of healing?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary: Stay strong (Strength) in the face of change (Death)… your foundation might feel precarious but it is sturdy and will be okay (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It’s about perseverance. Sometimes actionable steps are not actions at all, but more about being aware and standing strong.  Change is a part of life and sometimes those changes that happen can feel like the end of the world.  The cards here are a reminder that it isn’t the end of the world.  It isn’t all going to fall apart.  Your foundation and will continue to stay solid and strong. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Spark and Pen TarotLate at night in the deep deepest darkest hours before twilight, the green lady with the crown puts down her torch and her book, and pulls on her cape (The Empress). She goes to visit Coney Island to ride the Wonder Wheel and enjoy all that Luna Park has to offer (Wheel of Fortune). Soon, she will have to return to her place watching over the city, and pick up her torch and her book once more for another day (Death).

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best support and nurture myself and my personal growth at this time?

Hilda Tarot

Reading Summary: Accept that sometimes shit happens (Justice) and you’ll have to make the best of it (Knight of Swords). Take those moments to rest and recuperate (Four of Swords) so that she can be ready for the next challenge (The Magician).

Take Away:  The advice here to help me in nurturing myself and fostering my personal growth is that I need to not let the little unexpected surprises in life trip me up so much.  Hurdles happen and just like tripping over a root on a trail in the woods, you have to pick your ass up and keep going because no one is going to come for you if you sit there and whine about it to the trees.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel if I was more mindful right now?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary:  Hol-eee-shit.  *Eyes the cards.* Okay so if I was more mindful right now I’d be feeling a good deal more defeated (Ten of Swords) and in need of rest and retreat because the world (Four of Swords) would feel like everything is falling apart (The Tower).

Take Away:  The lesson here is that mindfulness is not always your friend. Sometimes you have to be a bit oblivious and obtuse just to get through the day.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Picking Up A Previous Practice

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I fidgeted through the entire process.   I had an idea for a new organization method for my decks, and honestly?  I just couldn’t calm down about it enough to do anything useful with those ten minutes of meditation.  I will try again tonight before bed.   Now that I have everything rearranged (again), I should hopefully be a bit less fidgety.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The Dreamer, Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is The Dreamer card (Ace of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of inspiration, new ideas, eureka moments, and mental clarity.

What stood out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card is the hands at the bottom.  Their positioning is probably supposed to represent the alchemical air symbol of an upright triangle with a line through it.  The thing is, though?  It looks an awful lot like the Hakini mudra (except that the pinky fingers are not bent in that mudra, so it’s not exactly… right.

Still, it’s actually pretty fitting, as the Hakini mudra is used for concentration and to boost the brain including memory, inspiration, and cooperation between the right and left hemispheres.

I see this card’s appearance today as a reminder of the benefits that including mudras into my medication can have.  This is an activity that I have really slacked off on over the past few months, but I think it’s time to start incorporating them into my practice again… and perhaps I’ll even start with the Hakini.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: Who can I turn to for help enforcing those boundaries?

Tarot Mundi In Minima Tarot

Reading Summary: Family and friends (Four of Wands) will step up to provide solid back up (Knight of Discs) when needed (The Tower).

Take Away:  Friends and family is the answer here.  It’s those that are nearest and dearest to me that I can depend on.  People like Gideon, my sister, Z, J, Ms B… these are all people that are a part of my inner circle of love and support and people that I can depend on to help when I need it.    The key here is in the last card in this spread, which is The Tower, and the deck’s way of stressing “when you need it”. 

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #4

Odd Hand TarotSeeds Sown – Ace of Pentacles – The seeds that I planted in the spring that have flourished have to do with finding a new balance between my responsibilities and my life.  This isn’t so much about the balance itself, which is still in the works, but the openness and willingness to make the changes needed and start upon a new path.

The Chaff – Strength – Those seeds that have not flourished are the ones that I plant every year and this year have chosen  not to encourage.  That is the tendency to push and shove and force my way forward with determination and blind focus. In the past I have done this to my own detriment again and again, and it is something that has been working for me less and less with each year that passes.

The Harvest – Four of Wands – Friends and family connections are going to be very important as I prepare to reap the rewards of my summer’s hard work. This card indicates I need to make sure I’m not just getting myself ready for the busy season ahead, but my those around me as well… both those that are here to help with that busy time, and those that are stuck waiting in the wings for the rush to end.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best provide help and support to my loved ones at this time?

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: When crap happens and they feel depressed (Five of Discs), be generous (Six of Discs) with my advice (The Hierophant) and my emotional support (King of Cups).

Take Away:  Honestly?  As much as I love to help people?  I always feel like when I give advice that it might be overstepping.  I mean, I know that the advice is decent and I have a lot of experience under my belt to base my advice through… and yet it always feels like encroaching? I’m relatively sure that this is not the case and just my own personal insecurities, but there’s always that worry of being seen as some sort of know it all. You know, not the good kind but the annoying kind.

Funny enough, you would think it would be the emotional support part of this reading that I balk at, but when it comes to those closest to me that I love and that love me? I don’t have a problem reaching out with a hug or some emotional support.  It’s probably one of the only scenarios in life where being emotionally connected doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I make the world a better place?

Pride Tarot

Ten of Swords – Show by example just how much you can survive.

Ooph.  Okay so this one is a hard one for me.  Not that I don’t share my struggles or that people aren’t aware of some of the things I have been through.  But if I were to list out all of the crazy ass shit that’s happened in my life…. or even just the ones that left scars on my body… it would sound like some sort of catastrophic “The Man Born With No Luck” B-movie or something. I have survived a lot.  A LOT.  But… it feels weird to put it all out there, which is sort of what you have to do if you want to show people by example just how much a person can survive and continue to move on from.

Eight of Wands – Send out into the world the positivity that you create. (imagery based)

This is something that I do regularly and love the most about my home business.  I love making beautiful things and sending them out to others to love and cherish.  I hope that every single piece of jewelry and other creation I make finds a home where it can brighten someone’s day… or many days, as the case may be.  I instill these hopes and that intent into each of the pieces I make.

Knight of Swords – Choose your battles wisely.

Sometimes we all pick battles we shouldn’t.  I think that’s a part of life and learning when and where to pick the battles that really mater and mean something.  To make the world a better place, it’s important to examine the battles you’re deciding to fight, and make sure they’re really worth the time, effort, energy, and emotion that you’re going to pour into them.  What is the motivation behind becoming involved?

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT