tarot self care

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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1889 Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Book – Make sure that you know all the facts before making any important decisions this month.  With you currently in the middle of an MDE, it’s important that you look to stable and informative outside sources to ensure you are seeing the full picture and not just that one view through the grimy glass that your depression affords you.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Clouds – Remember that this is temporary.  You are well and deeply sunken into the pit of depression and it is causing a good deal of confusion but you’re doing well at keeping the overwhelm in hand. Remember that this is familiar to you.  It’s something you’ve gone through before, and something that you will get through this time as well.  The depression may be heavy, but it’s temporary.

Star Wand: What will accelerate your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Ship – Focus on the things you have invested in and in fostering their continued good health.  Don’t worry about growth, that will take care of itself.  Just keep everything afloat and let the rest go for right now.  If it’s still afloat at the end of the depression, you can then work on pushing things forward and encouraging their growth.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Bouquet – The universe is rooting for you and pushing you to find what joy you can, however you can find it.  Even little joys will help brighten up the darkness around you, so allow them in and do your best to take pleasure in them.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Anchor – Don’t forget that you have spent a long time setting yourself up for the security and stability that you now have in your life.  Things feel like they are out of control at the moment, but this is an illusion created by your mental instability, and it will pass.  The true stability  you  have created in your life is still there, and will be there waiting for you when you begin to find your way out of the darkness.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Man – It’s okay to focus on yourself right now. It’s okay to be selfish right now. It’s okay to need to put yourself first for now.  It’s needed.  Do it.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Child – You are at the bottom of the pit.  Seek out the light and the fresh air. Don’t wallow but keep reaching for the new breath and fresh openness  that is waiting for you on the other side of the darkness.

DECK USED:  1889 LENORMAND ORACLE

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Ink Witch Tarot, Oracle of the Radiant Sun, Piatnik Art Deco Fortune Telling Cards

Earth – Eight of Wands Rx and Adaptability – Slow down and take your time. It’s okay that things are taking their time in getting back on track, and it’s okay that you need to take your time finding your balance.  Not everything can move quickly, and this is one of those times where you are along for the ride rather than in control. Go with the flow and in time you will find yourself back at a safe and healthy balance once more. The depression you deal with at the moment isn’t situational nor based in emotion or thought… it’s rooted in your mental health and it’s going to take time to find your way back out of it. Don’t be impatient and just “let it ride” for now.

Air – King of Wands and Harmony – Staying on top of things with the business will help you in finding a small sense of control during a time when everything else in the world feels out of sync and off kilter.  This isn’t about burying yourself in work, but rather about providing yourself a sense of empowerment by using your skills to keep things running smoothly.

Water – Knight of Wands and Vision – So much play… so much goodness coming from it. Your time with Gideon in play is helping you.  It gives you something to feel enthusiastic about in the midst of the weight of depression, and it allows you to see that there is good stuff out there for you, and people that love and cherish you, even when you are caught in darkness.  Make sure this week that you continue to find those things that give you that perspective… a perspective that is often sorely lacking when stuck in the depression’s grip.

Fire – Page of Wands and Patience – Take this time to make small steps.  Small progress.  Don’t push too hard and don’t take on too much.  Now is a time for being gentle with yourself and allowing yourself space to adjust.  Every small and little thing you do is an accomplishment, even the ones that feel silly or mediocre are still another small step forward.

Waning – Journey – You’re not gong to be getting anywhere fast this week. Just let go and let things take their own time as you move at a bit slower than your normal pace.

Waxing – Ardent Desire – Allow your passion for Gideon to help keep your spirits aloft. Temptation and longing are your friend… just don’t put yourself at risk of the drop or it could bring all those good feelings crashing down around you.

Take Away – The darkness marches on into the week and will be there as your companion through it, but there are things you can do to help keep yourself afloat so that you do not sink so far down into the muck that it becomes even harder to eventually pull yourself out. Have patience and focus on these positive things, allow yourself time and remember that it won’t last forever.

DECKS USED:  INK WITCH TAROT, ORACLE OF THE RADIANT SUN, PIATNIK ART DECO FORTUNE TELLING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Negative Patterns

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The very simplest, most basic premise of shadow work is that when our subconscious wants something different from our conscious, our conscious choices and magic are ineffective because they are being sabotaged by our unconscious. This book is pointing out that SOMETIMES (not always) when we see a repeating “negative” pattern in our lives, it is because that thing is fulfilling some subconscious desire. The only way forward is to drag that part of us out of the shadows and integrate or accept it so that we can consciously choose how to fulfill those desires instead of letting them drive our life. This is a very basic idea and there are obviously many facets to this, but this week, if you like, join me in exploring this most basic idea with one or more of these questions (or others if you so choose).”

Playing Politics 20/20 Vision Playing CardsAn area in your life with a recurring “negative” pattern.
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues. God fuck do I ever have scarcity issues.  It is a recurring problem in that it drives me constantly to try harder and do more, spurring my constant craving for security and stability to the point of near obsession.

What would I stand to lose if this negative pattern were to magically, suddenly disappear from my life?
Five of Spades

My fight. My push. As mentioned above, I use my scarcity issues as a motivational shove to get things done and stay on track with my plans, goals, and responsibilities.  Without those issues there to create drive, things like depressive episodes and mood swings as well as a variety of other situations and distractions would make staying focused on those goals and responsibilities nearly impossible.

What feeling does this negative pattern give me that I might, deep down, secretly enjoy?
Four of Spades

Exhaustion after a job well done. Honestly?  Burnout sucks ass, but it does occasionally create a perception of having done a lot and accomplished something.  Otherwise, why would you be so tired?

Am I experiencing pleasure in relation to the guilt I feel for having and using this negative pattern?
Seven of Clubs

Yes. I’m fighting the good fight… Or I feel like I’m fighting the good fight using this negative pattern as a weapon against laziness, failure, and distraction. It feels empowering.

If I let go of guilt about this negative pattern, What feeling would be left?
King of Clubs

More strength and security to support my business and my endeavors.  This last question was an interesting turn in perspective for me about this pattern of behavior.   So often my negative patterns and behaviors are things that I feel need to be resolved or healed.  Yet in this case, perhaps it is more about finding a balance of moderation instead.

DECK USED: PLAYING POLITICS 20/20 VISION PLAYING CARDS

Breaking Down the Tarot

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Learning tarot is something that a lot of people are intrigued about at one point or another in their life. For some, it’s a phase that they dabble in and then move on from. For others it is an opportunity to exploit others. For some it is a lifetime fascination. For still others, it is a part of who they are… or a part of their spirituality.

There are plenty of assumptions about the tarot and plenty of abusers that use the decks for their own purposes. That use the tarot to manipulate people, or to hurt people… or as a game, unintentionally hurting others simply by not understanding or being unwilling to grasp the power that the tarot can possess.

The sad thing is that this type of harmful behavior is going to be the case for no matter what you are talking about. There will be some that respect these different things, and others that won’t. Just as there are those that will appreciate a public garden, and others that will only pause to piss on the flowers.

The thing is that most of those who are truly invested in tarot in some way, whether that is through helping others or helping themselves, acknowledge that tarot is more than just a handful of cards. They aren’t out to hurt people, manipulate people, or use tarot as a game or a weapon. They are seeking to use the tarot to help themselves or others, seek out guidance for themselves or others, to delve into their psyche in order to heal themselves or others.

Tarot is a way to reach into the minds and souls of the self and others, and to find depth… to find answers. Whether a secular or spiritual reader, I think that it’s important to respect and own the responsibility that using something that can do this inherently holds. I find that I sometimes struggle with fresh, brand new beginners because of this. Because they aren’t ready yet to grasp the responsibility behind what they’re seeking to learn. They don’t realize that it’s not a toy or a game, but rather a tool to help that can also harm if we aren’t careful.

For this reason, I try to remind beginners (and even some that have dabbled for quite some time but don’t seem able to grasp the gravity of the tool in their hands) that reading tarot is not just about getting answers. It’s about how you present those answers, either to yourself or to others. It’s about acknowledging that anything that you say can have a huge impact on another person and their life, etc. And therefore, when reading the cards, it’s important to present things in a way they understand and that is empathetic to another person and their journey.

Without empathy, understanding, and a sense of empowerment in the message… the cards can easily become something that can do a great deal of harm instead of good. When people speak of “respecting the tarot” it is this influence… this responsibility… that they are referring to. A responsibility that I feel is absolutely essential, especially in reading for others… but also in reading for yourself.

Morning Bonus Read – Peaceful Tree

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Japanese Pattern Lenormand

Leaves: What feeds my soul?

Clouds – Challenges and struggle.  This is an odd card to see in the “feeds your soul” position until you consider the fact that it is only through challenges that we grow.  The things that create confusion and complications in life are the same things that facilitate our growth. Without them, life is stagnant and so are we.  This card is not just an answer to what feeds the soul, but a reminder to be grateful for each and every experience we have… even those that are confusing, challenging, or filled with hurdles and complications.

Branches: What direction do I need to grow?

Woman – This card recently came up in a different reading for a very similar question.  It is an indication that you need to tap into your softer side.  That sacred feminine side that everyone has within them that fosters energies of nurturing and warmth.  You spend too much time poking and prodding and shoving at yourself, pushing yourself to your limits and beyond without any mercy or kindness.  It’s time to grow in a direction that fosters a more supportive and nurturing energy in how you treat yourself as well as how you talk to yourself.

Trunk: What supports my well-being?

Clover – Over the past year you have been working really hard on injecting more positivity, optimism, and happiness into your life.  You’ve discovered that these efforts are not in vain, but assist in finding balance that allows you to continue to push toward your goals, but in far more healthy ways.  It’s important to continue this practice.  These influences created in small ways have a large impact over time, and are especially important when you are feeling your lowest and worst as they can help lift you up out of the darkness.

Roots: What anchors me in place?

Scythe – Cold hard logic. While you explore your emotions and they feel as if they are always out of control, always sliding this way and that, and always feeling just slightly outside of your understanding… cold hard logic is the anchor in the storm.  Just remember that you do not have to cut your emotions off or end your growth to use this logic to its fullest potential when an anchor is needed.

DECK USED:  JAPANESE PATTERN LENORMAND

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Liminal Spirits Oracle, Mosaic Dream Tarot, Heart Path Oracle Cards

Earth – Nine of Wands, Monkshood atop Gateway – Your ways are often unorthodox, but you find your path forward just fine with your more creative methods and perspectives.  It might feel right now like you’re at the end of your rope, just remember that a lot of this is perspective.  The poison that kills can also be the poison that heals… it’s all in how you look at it and what you do with it.

Air – King of Cups and Snail – “Curbing bad or dangerous behaviors before they cause irreparable harm or damage.”  This was one of the lines in the guidebook for the Snail card, and it resonated strongly.  It’s important to make sure that you are communicating with Gideon and being open with him about how you are feeling and the thoughts swirling around in your head.  Let him help you in curbing those thoughts before they become behaviors that could cause damage or harm.

Water – Eight of Wands, Honey Bee atop Forest –  “It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but rather a sign of strength.” Again, a quote from the guidebook, this time in relation to the Forest card.  The Honey Bee and the Forest cards are both cards that indicate community, and the harmony of living and working together. The Eight of Wands indicates that now is the time to reach out to those around you for help. With the depression on your shoulders, you can’t do this alone right now.  Allow the others to help.

Fire – Nine of Swords and Snake – You’re at risk of spending a lot of time worrying about the unknown.  Keep in mind that just because you don’t know the answer or don’t understand  something doesn’t make it a bad thing.  Good things are birthed out of the unknown as well… so take a breath and try not to let your negative inner narrative run you ragged.

Waning – Spiritual DNA (Serious Alchemy is Afoot) – Don’t worry about the small stuff and all that needs to be done.  Don’t worry about the effect that your depression might have on the future of your business or your endeavors. Stop worrying about what might happen or the “butterfly effects” that could be triggered by this temporary psychological dip.

Waxing – Slow and Steady (Standing at the Threshold of Something New) – Instead of worrying about the repercussions of your depression, focus on the climb out of the pit and finding the fresh air and sunlight once more. It’s a journey, and like all journeys it takes time.  Just keep trying… keep looking for the positive.

Take Away – This week’s reading is about surviving the depression and about coaching me in what I need to do to keep myself from sinking deeper.  What to worry about and what not to worry over, what to seek out and what to avoid. It’s a road map to help me find my way in the darkness.

DECKS USED:  MOSAIC DREAM TAROT, LIMINAL SPIRITS ORACLE, HEART PATH ORACLE CARDS