tarot self care

Personal Emotions and Reading Tarot

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So, I had something else planned to post today, but then this topic kind of came up the other night in my mind while I was reading on the Philosophical Question about pleasure and evil. The thing is? I really did think that the answer was going to be a yes… and it wasn’t. It got me to thinking about how we all sometimes invest our own thoughts, opinions, or emotions into tarot reading. The “good readers” realize this when it’s happening, and are able to then step back from it and let the cards speak for themselves.

Usually, when people discuss times to take a break from reading tarot, at the top of that list is times when you are emotionally imbalanced. And I agree with this. When you are dealing with depression or anger, grief or other intense emotions, it’s not usually a good time to be reading tarot because your inner turmoil can influence your perspective on the cards and what they say.

This can, in turn, can create problems if you’re reading for yourself or others by causing the reading go awry from the intended message in the cards, or not be delivered in the healthiest ways.

In thinking about this topic after that reading I mentioned above, I was thinking about why it is that I’m still doing readings during this time when I’m dealing with my own depression. Shouldn’t I have stepped away from the cards? That’s what I have done in the past during these times, and it’s the safest thing to do usually.

But, I haven’t stepped back. I’ve cut down a bit with how many readings I’m doing, but I haven’t stopped entirely or cut back to just my “Positive Message” card of the day practice.

The thing is, though, although I am not reading for others right at the moment, because I’m going through a depression and need to make sure my delivery to my clients remains the caring and understanding tone that it always should be… I am continuing to read for myself.

This is not something I recommend, because of the reasons I already mentioned. That said, I am trying to see if I can level out my ability in reading even during these emotional times. Not just in this particular issue, but more… across the board whether happy or sad, depressed or upset, etc. I would like to grow to a point where my intuition and “reader’s voice” are not warped by my emotional balance and struggles, but instead continue to be objective and unbiased through these times.

This doesn’t mean that I would at some time in the future begin reading for others during these times when I’m struggling… but I think that even in just reading for myself this is something I can work on to become a better reader over all.

Morning Bonus Read – Facing Reality

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In a post earlier this week, I briefly mentioned “spiritual bypassing” in the reading. I thought that today I’d do a spread on that topic.

Spiritual Bypassing is defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

Lua Lenormand - Facing Reality Tarot Spread

An aspect of reality that I’m avoiding.

Bear – Ugh… my finances. I mean it’s a good time to drop the ball, honestly, because I’m in the wake of the holiday rush, which means I have a bit of a cushion from any negative repercussions that not obsessing over my finances as usually could cause.  But still. It’s definitely an aspect of reality that I’ve been sticking my head in the sand about lately.

Why it’s important for me to stop avoiding this.

Ring – Because it’s important not to fall behind on my commitments.  I have a mortgage to keep up on and responsibilities to deal with that require me to stay on top of my finances and not let them go off on their own little way for too long without a guiding hand to keep them on track.

How I can accept this truth that I’ve been avoiding.

Book – Open up your bank website, log in, and do a little research.  Look into what’s going on and it will help you in getting your ass back into the groove it needs to be in.  Ignoring those various accounts is not going to do any good for you or your life.  Better to open your eyes and stay informed.

A way that this ties into my own spiritual bypassing.

Dog – You’re getting too comfortable.  You’re allowing your spiritual practices and methods to wrap you up in comfort and fool you into thinking “everything is okay”, instead of ensuring for yourself that all’s well and good.

A pattern of behavior I fall into during stress.

Anchor – See above in the previous answer. I pretend everything is grounded and good even when it’s not. I make others believe that all’s well when I’m actually struggling beneath the surface.

How I can become a better version of myself.

Lady – Tap into my softer side and allow it to show more often.  This card is about the sacred feminine energy that we all have within us, and allowing it to come out and be a part of the day to day rather than “sucking it up” and, in my father’s words, pushing myself to “be a man”.  Yuck

DECK USED:  LUA LENORMAD

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Guardian of the Night Tarot, Faceted Garden Oracle, Flower Essences Deck 1 & 2

Earth – King of Cups, Violet atop Trumpet Vine – You need to be honest with those around you concerning the invading depression that has become more difficult to manage lately. Open up to let them know what’s going on with you.  Your home life and love life are both suffering from a lack of communication at the moment.  Stop hiding (and hiding from) what’s going on and speak up.

Air – Queen of Cups and Cosmos – Start with Z. She will help you to see things more clearly and be able to communicate them more clearly to others.  You struggle a lot with the “I dunno” issue when trying to speak about your emotions and depression when you’re “in the moment” of the experience.  She can help you to untangle your thoughts enough to get them out more coherently.

Water – Seven of Pentacles and Lotus – Focus on doing the things that connect you to your faith this week and create balance.  Your morning devotional and meditation are important. Take a more spiritual cleansing approach to bathing, etc.  This is not spiritual bypassing but rather using your faith to motivate you into better self care when you’re struggling emotionally.

Fire – Knight of Pentacles, Aspen atop Pomegranate – Give some of your control over to those that can take the weight for a bit while you get through this hurdle. It’s not permanent, but they can handle it in the short term while you look at the long play and bigger picture beyond the current moment.

Waning – Wild Card – The chaos will ease if you let it, but it’ll take following the advice laid out in these cards to make it happen.  Otherwise you’ll just continue to stagnate in the inner conflict and chaos you’ve been trying so hard to ignore.

Waxing – Thaw – Release your emotions from the frigid ice you’ve held them in and let them flow.

Take Away – The cards are right.  I have been struggling and trying so hard to push back against the depression that’s managed to slip in under my skin.  I tried so hard to not allow it to gain ground and to push back against it.   But It’s here and I can’t deny that.  I need to be open about it instead of trying to hide it.  I need to share and allow myself to let others in to help me… no matter how fucked up that feels right now.

DECKS USED:  GUARDIAN OF THE NIGHT TAROT, FLOWER ESSENCES DECK vol. 1 & 2, FACETED GARDEN ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Authority Issues

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I had to adjust this topic a bit (the original prompt is at the end of this post), as I do not have the urge to look to external sources of authority to tell me what to do. In fact, I have authority and control issues that cause me to rebel against such controlling behavior from other parties. The prompt mentioned that there are so many external authorities that there is a struggle in knowing who to listen to, etc. I have very few “authorities” over my actions… in fact even my employers are more collaborators than any form of authority figures.

SO… for this prompt. I am going to use the one single authority figure that -is- a part of my life, and with whom I have found a balance between authority and independence that works. That would be my partner, Gideon.

Cabinetarium Playing CardsWhere in my life do I benefit most from having an authority figure in my life?

Six of Spades atop Four of Diamonds – In helping me stay grounded and away from those things that are most harmful to me. I am self-destructive. Those tendencies sometimes rise up and whisper insidiously in my ear at the worst of times. Gideon is there in those times to help me stay on the right path, and does so in a way that doesn’t make me feel the searing sting of rebellion… such as when he made the request that I stop drinking.

Where could I use a better balance between his authority influences and my own need for independence?

Seven of Hearts – In my struggles to find balance and harmony by making the best choices for myself that I can. I need to consult with him more during these times when I am confronting these choices and get his input.  Not so much to give him the choice instead of me making it, but to make sure that I have his perspective and input on what the best choices available to me are.

How can I begin establishing that better balance?

Three of Clubs – Work more closely with him and I will be heading in the right direction.  I understood this from the card that previously came out concerning balance and his input. I need that input.  Sometimes? I really suck at turning to him when I need to.  It’s stupid and a part of those self destructive tendencies.

Why do I need this outside authoritative energy in my life?

Three of Diamonds – To counteract the poisonous influences of my upbringing by providing me with support.  It’s something I can’t do alone but needs to be worked on together.

How does this authority figure in my life influence my self-care?

Queen of Spades – He works with me and supports my self care goals by being “all in” with helping me to make them happen. He does not lord over me but works with me so I do not get my back up and rebel against that authority, making that authority less offensive in his approach.

DECK USED:  CABINETARIUM PLAYING CARDS

Original Diviner’s Den Prompt: This week it was brought to my attention that I have trouble trusting myself to make good self care decisions– I tend to try to find some kind of external authority to validate my decisions on how much I should work, eat, rest, exercise, etc. The problem with this is that… There are SO MANY external authorities. This may not be an issue for you– if not, feel free to ignore or adjust this topic as necessary. But I know I’m not alone in this— if you would like, join me in my shadow work this week around this topic.
-Who/what do I look to as an authority on my daily choices (food, exercise, rest, worries, self care, etc)?
-Is there a healthier place to look to for those choices?
-What resources would I need in order to better trust myself to make self care decisions?
-This week, what is one self care choice I can trust myself to make well?

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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Lenormand Oracle by Alexander Daniloff - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Ring – One of the heavy hitters in your life that guides you to make good decisions and always follow your inner compass is the responsibilities you carry and the commitments you have decided to take on.  Many times when you feel the need to let go and just stop, to curl up and step away, it’s these commitments and responsibilities that keep you on your path and moving forward.  The Ring card in this position indicates that this month is going to be one of those times.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Mice –  It is that anxiety and worry that helps keep me grounded in the first place.  The pressure of that nagging fear helps me to remember to ground and reach out for the support of others when I need it. The Mice card in this position is a reminder to not take for granted the crap ass shit that sometimes happens, because it’s only through trial and struggle that we grow and learn how to become better and stronger in the face of our fears in the future.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Crossroads – Having options open to me to pursue and the autonomy to be able to go in the directions that your interests and intuition leads to accelerated growth of your powers of creativity, manifestation, and magic.  It’s when you are backed into a corner or forced into a single path without the ability to make your own choices that you become stifled and your growth stagnates.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Scythe – The universe is giving you the opportunity this month to practice your new, healthier methods of dealing with stress and discord.  Take this opportunity to cut out of your life those methods that are unhealthy and no longer working for you. Divorce yourself from these unhealthy methods, and instead pave the road forward with these newer methods you’ve been working on.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Dog – Lean on those you trust this month when you come upon unexpected challenges or difficult moments. Those in your life that you love, those that you trust and that are there for you through thick and thin, will be there for you now as well.   They are the added reinforcement you need when things are feeling out of whack and you’re struggling… so don’t forget that they’re there for you.  All you have to do is reach out for them.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Fox – That cunning creature within that makes sure everything gets done and cared for, and my responsibilities are being covered is rising up and strengthening as the month goes on. Sometimes the shit that you have to do to keep things running isn’t always fun or easy, but with a cunning mind and clever hands, you’ll make it through just fine.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Anchor – You have the opportunity to further your stability through how you react and manage the trials and struggles this month. Stability is yours if you want it, but as the cards above in this spread have indicated, you’ll have to earn it through growth spurred on by what you learn through dealing with this month’s struggles and strife.

DECK USED:  LENORMAND ORACLE BY ALEXANDER DANILOFF

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Mystic Masters Tarot, Mystical Creatures Oracle, Runic Odyssey Oracle

Earth – Two of Swords and Foo Dogs – You’re going to have some decisions to make this week concerning your home and finances.  Make sure that you lean heavily into the stability aspect and that you are paying attention to what needs a little extra balance and structure.  Now is not the time to take risks or go off of guesses.  Find the sure path with level ground and save the risk taking and adventures for later on down the line.

Air – Two of Cups, Basilisk atop Harpy – Do not allow carelessness and negativity to pollute your connection and communication with others.  Sometimes your head goes on little tangents or gets a bit too wrapped up in it’s own self and you forget to look outward on how your words are affecting others.  The potential for one of those moments is coming up in the week ahead, so do your best to stay mindful in your connections and communication with others, as well as their reactions.

Water – Justice and Minotaur – What goes up must come down and you’ve been on a bit of an emotional upswing lately, regardless of the somewhat chaotic nature the last week has held. These cards go hand in hand with the Air section of this reading, as you are at risk of sliding into a more negative space and getting lost in your head with that ugly negative self talk that so often can drag you down.  Here’s your warning… the scales are looking for a way to tip off balance. Be aware.  Be alert. Pay attention and do what is needed to stay balanced.

Fire – Five of Cups, Mermaid atop Goblin – Bad feelings are coming and it’s important that you don’t close them off or shut them away. Feel your feelings.  It’s important.  If you close the emotions you’re feeling off it will only  make them worse, giving rise to a “fight” response that will create resentment and negative interactions with yourself and others as a result.  This is not healthy for you or for your ambitions.   It’s not healthy for anyone.  Feel your feelings.  But while you’re doing so, keep your head up and look for the silver lining in the situation.

Waning – Tiwaz (Courage/Justice) – It’s time to slow down.  As indicated in the Earth section earlier in this reading, there are things at play that need a slow and careful approach.  Pause and think rather than simply going with your gut, and when you come to a course of action?  Pause and think some more.

Waxing – Berkano (Fertility/Growth) –  The question in this prompt is specifically “what do I need to focus on moving toward” for self-care in the week ahead, and what I need to focus on is growth.  Personal growth. I have an opportunity to grow and flourish into the newness of how I deal with things in the methods I use to confront this week’s challenges.  I can fall back on old habits… or I can reach for new methods and use this opportunity to grow from them.  I need to focus on that growth.

Take Away –  Slow steady and ultra careful on the home and finances front this week.  There’s some potential for emotional upheaval this week, and miscommunication could very definitely play a part in the mess of it all.  Don’t make any important decisions or changes this week in the home and finances while going through the mess of emotional upheaval.  And don’t close off.  Use this upheaval as a chance to practice your new methods instead of falling back on old habits concerning how you deal with this sort of thing.

DECKS USED:  MYSTIC MASTERS TAROT, MYTHICAL CREATURES ORACLE, RUNIC ODYSSEY ORACLE