tarot reading

Uncertainties in Self

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Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

 

Empathic Ability… or Something Else

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Today’s meditation was… well, I’m not entirely how long it was, because I fell asleep.  It was relaxing, though. I think that just a lack of sleep combined with the taxing part of having both the helper and the housekeeper coming by today just took it out of me.  I laid down and became still, and off to sleep I went.

Today’s draw is Queen of Bats (Swords), which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy in the area of intellect, thought, logic, communication, and instinct.  This involves themes that include independent thought, reflection on new ideas without the need for conformity (ie: clear boundaries), a lack of bias, and direct communication.

When I look at today’s card, what I see is strength reflected through the posture of the queen and her sword, and an openness to hear out others while staying firm in one’s own foundations that is demonstrated in her welcoming of the flying bat combined with the death moth that is both at the base of her throne as well as within her crown. The moon smiling down feels like a blessing and approval, displaying an indication that this path is the right one for this moment in time.

I think this is a really interesting card to draw today, because I find myself reflecting on the definition of what an empath is, and if it really applies to me as I thought it did.  The thing is, I do not feel other people’s emotions in the way that I understand empathic abilities to work.  Instead, I sense and react to energy.  From that energy, my body can then interpret and even empathize with emotions from others… but it is not the direct connection and mimicry of emotion that others seem to define the ability as having.

Clearly, this feels like a separation between what I’m experiencing, and what is generally defined as empathic ability.  I wonder, then, if in fact this isn’t empathic ability at all, but something else that I haven’t yet found a name and/or definition for yet.

This, to me, fits in with the Queen of Bats because it runs along the line of intellectual examination, independent thought, and non-conformity.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: How can I recognize my own power to manifest growth?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.

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Reading Summary:  If you would just give yourself a chance to be nicer to yourself and embrace the emotional gifts others are offering,  the world would be at your feet.  Stop and examine where you feel scarcity.

Take Away:  I need to sit with my emotions, look at and delve into a better understanding of them, and allow others to contribute to my life with their own emotions as well.   This is the aspect of my life where I am at my weakest, as I often have a hard time connecting with others in this manner, or experiencing the world through that lens. I need to take a breath and ease my strangle hold of stress concerning finances and the business or it will smother under my grip.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

Trying New Things

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, but I didn’t do a guided meditation today.  Instead, I took some time to focus upon my breathing, and then worked my way through a full body scan that began at my head and worked down to the tips of my toes.

Once reaching my feet, I moved on to a full awareness of my full body and then expanded that awareness outward to first the room, then beyond.

Eventually, I retracted this awareness back to my normal space just as the chime went off to mark the ten minute mark, and I left it there for the day.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Axes (Swords) with a jumper of the Ace of Cups.

Both of these cards deal with the seeds of new beginnings, opportunity, and potential.  In the case of the Axes, this has to do with the area of thoughts, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.   The Cups, on the other hand, deals with emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What I see in these cards today is that I need to invest my heart and soul into new ideas, and when seeking for ways to communicate, try to reach beyond just my mind for that connection with others, but seek to communicate from my heart as well.

As you know, other than with dealing with you personally, this is not my normal approach.  In fact, even with you sometimes I struggle to dip beyond logic and intellect, and into the expression of the heart in my communication.  Sometimes it’s easier than others, but this is something I really don’t do all that often.

For this reason, today’s draw feels like a challenge of sorts.  A challenge of the “status quo” and my “modus operandi” .  A challenge to try a new way of relating to the world.

I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to take up that challenge, but it’s definitely something to think about… and maybe even explore my feelings on a little bit.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Unknown

 

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Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: What is holding me back from further growth?

Reading Summary: The growth this reading is pertaining to has to do with my business, finances, and resources.  Specifically, in the effort it will take to bring things into balance and up to par after the summer months.  The girl looks ahead into the future, and there is planning going on, but there are obstacles in the way to the climb to the next level.  If I want to surmount them, it is going to take a piece of myself to do so.   A physical and emotional tole.

Take Away: It’s time to identify the obstacles on the path.  Sometimes, those things that look fascinating, or even harmless, can actually be secretly holding you back.  If I want to succeed, I don’t just need to educate myself and plan for the future, but be willing to fight for what I want, and sacrifice for it as well.

Deck Used: Tarot of Vampyres

 

Ethony’s 10 Questions Every Tarot Reader Should Answer

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On Ethony’s website, she has a list of the ten questions every tarot reader should answer.  I don’t think I’ve done this one before, so I thought I’d go ahead and add it into the other tarot quizzes that I’ve done on here.

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1. Were you mentored, or were you self-taught?

Both? I’d say it is both.   Lenormand has been a part of my life throughout my entire childhood and upward.  I did not start working with RWS until my early teens, and I have alternated between help from Z and doing my own research in all the years since then.

2. Are you a psychic or a Tarot reader?

Again… Both?  I don’t really consider it being “a psychic”, but I read the tarot intuitively 96% of the time.  BUT, I have a foundation of book learning behind beneath my feet, and I tap into that in my readings, even when reading intuitively, if for no other reason than to compare what I’m getting intuitively from the cards to the traditional meanings.

3. Are your predictions accurate, and is accuracy important to you?

I don’t usually set out to do predictive readings, although it does happen.   I find that accuracy isn’t something I really concern myself with in predictive reading, though.   Reason being is that even just being -aware- of what might transpire can change the future, and thus what -could- happen that’s read in the reading is averted/diverted due to the knowledge gained IN said reading.   It’s a Catch22.  Is it accurate and you changed your future?  Or was it inaccurate all along?   Unable to know one way or another?  I just don’t worry about it and read what I see.

4. Is there anything you can’t predict in a reading?

Can’t?  Lotto numbers.  Also, absolute certain, set in concrete predictions of events or situations that cannot be changed or diverted.  This is not really how things work in my experience.  Yes, sometimes things happen just as predicted. Sometimes you take action to ensure a different outcome.  The future is fluid until the moment it becomes the past.

5. Do you use only Tarot, or are you multi-disciplinary?

Okay…. so lets see if I can manage a complete list.   Lenormand, Oracle, Playing Cards, Tarot, Charm Casting, Pendulum, Stick & Pebble Casting (which includes not just sticks and pebbles, but also items such as tiny acorns and cones, tree nettles, thorns, etc found in nature), Runes… hm, I think that’s it.   I would also like to try orb scrying, but the only sphere so far I’ve found that speaks to me is a bit out of my price range at the moment.

6. Is the message in the cards, or in your head?

In my…. in my…. hm.   The messages  are in my solar plexus and delve inward and upward to emerge in the hollows of my collar bones to travel just beneath the skin up to the spot just behind my earlobes, then forward into my mouth.  My brain finds them there and translates them into something I can understand and communicate.

7. Are you a priest or a fortune-teller?

Neither.   I’m an intuitive that uses the cards to find the inner voice I just can’t hear well enough without them.

8. Are you a fixer or a looker?

Both.   Sometimes I’m just looking.  Sometimes, I’m looking for a reason.  Sometimes?  That reason is because I want to help, heal, or fix in some way.

9. Do you read for free, or for fee?

In the past I have read for money.  It was a good supplement to my income at the time.   Since my change in ability to communicate, I have only read for myself and for free for loved ones.  I am open to the possibility of trying remote readings using writing as a medium to communicate, although I’m not sure how interested people are in something like that considering how many other options for readings are out there.

(Edit: I did some face to face for-hire readings while away on my recent trip, and it wasn’t too bad, although the communication was definitely a hurdle to work with.)

10. Is there anything you won’t predict in a reading?

Death.  Nor do I do mediumship, as it’s just not in my wheelhouse.  I don’t give readings on shit that the querent should be going to a licensed professional for either.

 

Self Care Saturday… On a Sunday

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As I’ve mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Earth – King of Cups – Take some time to project for myself some compassion and forgiveness, especially concerning any limitations that might arise in the week ahead.

Air – The Devil – Am drowning myself with the weight of all the “stuff”. Take a step back and evaluate mental clutter. Search for any obsessions that are not serving me and let them go.

Water – Queen of Pentacles – Going to need some alone time and to take some time to lose myself in fantasy and flights of fancy in order to nurture my emotional side.

Fire – Page of Rods – This week is a time for exploration and discovery. Try something new instead of the same old thing.

Waning – The need to carry my home with me is going to ease. This is not surprising, and is in direct relation to going home tomorrow.

Waxing – A new journey and crossing from the known into the unknown. This card feels like it is connected to the Fire cards in this spread.

Moral of the Story – New adventures ahead, but from home rather than abroad. Keep an eye out for what may be adding unnecessary stress or “weight”. Be sure to make some space and time for myself to breathe.

Deck Used: Morgan Greer Tarot