Appreciate the Little Things

Today’s meditation was once again delayed until bed time.  I swear to f’ck that I’m trying to fit it in.  I really am.  But there seems to be a serious challenge to getting those ten or fifteen minutes every.. damn.. DAY so far this week.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a traditionally a representation of success, positivity, happiness and warmth, fun and exuberance.

I think that little lizard dog thing has an eyeball on its ass.  Just sayin’.

Okay so what I see in this card’s imagery is a LOT of little details.  All of the cards are pretty detailed in this deck, but today I feel like every time I look away from the card and then look back, I notice another little detail that suddenly feels significant. Just as significant as the last one.  All of them small like the eye looking spot on the rear of the creature at her feet.  The bauble hanging from her necklace…. the fact that her necklace doesn’t go around her neck but appears to hang from her ears.  The skull on her head, her navel, her tattoos, the flowers and wands she holds.

And yet it doesn’t feel cluttered.  It doesn’t feel overwhelming either.

What I feel from this is that the message in today’s draw has to do with noticing the little things and appreciating them.  Cherishing them.   Sometimes the big picture sucks, but you can still find pleasure in the little things.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: Looking at the past few weeks, what may have been impeded by miscommunication?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  My progress moving forward into my passion (Knight of Swords) has been hampered by retreat (The Hermit) because I’ve been walking on eggshells (Six of Swords) and struggling to find balance between my personal needs and business responsibilities (Queen of Disks Rx).

Take Away:  Okay so this is about the letter, and it’s about how I’ve reacted to the letter by closing myself, which has hindered my “go get ’em” forward momentum concerning my passions and ambitions.  That letter caused an imbalance, and a disruption in my comfort levels which has caused some problems in a number of different areas concerning my business, my home life, and my own self care as well.

IS the letter a miscommunication, then?  Am I over-reacting to it?  Is it not the unreasonable demand and threat-thru-leverage that I perceived it to be?  I think this might be something I need to think on.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I at physically at this time?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: Independence on my journey (Queen of Swords) toward “traditional exercise” (Hierophant)  is holding me back.  Stop ignoring the help that’s available to me (Five of Coins) and I’ll find a better way (Page of Swords) to move forward and enjoy the journey (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So I know that I need to get to the gym and gain some weight.  I know this, and yet I’ve not been able to manage it.  I just have no interest or motivation towards that direction. J has offered to join me, and yet I haven’t really accepted or refused.  Just… meh.    The cards indicate that I need to accept and get going on this.  Where I am physically is in a holding pattern… and it’s time to move past that, and accept the help I need (even if that help is just in motivation) in order to get myself back on track.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I move more into my heart space?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Accept that it’s okay to be recognized for the good stuff (Six of Wands) and own that shit (The Emperor) rather than shoving it off, because by doing so it will create contentment (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  I had some really sweet things said about me today that really made it stand out to me just how differently I see myself compared to how others seem to see me.  It was nice to hear, but there’s a part of me that is always reserved and holds back from absorbing praise internally when it is given.   I worry that in doing so my ego will swell into something ugly and insufferable, and… often I honestly am not sure if I even deserve praise when its given as well.  These cards indicate that it won’t make my ego insufferable, but will create a sense of contentment within myself that I’m currently missing.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

No Ignoring Self-Care

Today’s meditation was once again not particularly useful.  I did make an effort this morning, but that effort was thwarted by a multitude of interruptions and…. it just didn’t end up happening.  So…  I will give it a go tonight before bed again.   That said?  I really need to do a better job of fitting it into my mornings, as I get a far better effect from a morning meditation than  I do an evening one.

Knight of Pentacles - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a beta energy, personality, or person in the area of resources, finances, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes of productivity and hard work carrying someone forward toward rewards.

What I see in the imagery of this card is the support represented by the hands that the bird perches upon, as well as ingenuity in the string the bird holds, and industry in the ant crawling upon the fingers.    I see the key speaking of how these things are a solution… a way forward.

The message in today’s card is about working toward my goals and finding the best way to do things rather than doing them as they’ve “always been done”.   To move forward, sometimes you have to look for paths and methods that take you “outside the box”.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What about myself have I been underrating?

Law of Attraction Tarot

Reading Summary:  This reading split into a trio of answers.  The big pic including all of the cards is about balance between fun/positivity and passions/drive. There is also a clear definition between the two left cards, which speaks of balancing responsibilities and fun/optimism…. And the right side which is also about the balance between responsibilities and fun/pleasure.  In each case, the cards reinforce the meaning of the whole.

Take Away:  These cards indicate that what I have been underestimating about myself is the ability to balance fun and pleasure into my business.  This is something I’ve been trying to tap back into after the fog I’d been experiencing through the winter, but I admit to have been struggling with it.

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What do I need to focus on for self care for this full moon?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary:  The imagery of all four of these cards is extremely grounded… and ground-centric.   This speaks of a need to stay well grounded even as I take possession of my interests and passions, and move forward toward my goals.  Make sure that I am not leaving my care behind in favor of these other interests.

Take Away:  I have a habit of getting wrapped up in interests and passions, and allowing other things to fall away into the background.  Although the winter sort of distracted me from this habit, I’m well aware that as I start to feel better, it will return   The cards indicate I need to make sure I’m paying attention to this tendency and not allow myself to get carried away.   Instead, continue to focus on the slow-and-steady progress I’ve been making and don’t push my self-care practices off to the side… they are important.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL TOTEM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: Share a pic of your favorite tarot or oracle deck.

Okay…. so I couldn’t choose just one.  Or two.  Or three.  So here’s four.

Favorite Decks - Tarot and Oracle

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM, HUSH TAROT, STOLEN CHILD TAROT, THE FAERIES’ ORACLE BY BRIAN FROUD

 

Garden Goodness

Today’s meditation was non-existent.  I had plans to re-do my meditation before sleep, as my efforts in the morning were an epic fail… but then I fell asleep on the phone while listening to my mother voicing her many complaints concerning myself and life in general… and, it didn’t get done.

The Magician - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is Japanese Santa…. no sorry, just kidding.  Today’s draw is the Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of resourcefulness and having the tools you need to manifest… whatever needs manifesting.

What really stands out to me in this card is the rose vines  that surround the figure.  They are lush and happy and in full growth.  This card is a reminder that I need to get out into my balcony garden and do some TLC with my plants out there, preparing them for spring and giving them the little encouragements they need at this time of year to start waking up so that they will sprout and flourish.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What can I do to encourage kindness toward myself?

New Choice Tarot de Marseilles

Reading Summary:  Walk softly and carry a big stick (The Star atop Queen of Wands)… and a reiteration of sorts because… it’s okay to go after what you want (Knight of Wands) but make sure you’re taking care to keep boundaries and defenses in place when doing so (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Now is a great time to focus on my passions, and in doing so I will feel better and thus be better… and nicer… to myself.   The cards are simply reminding me that I need to be careful not to get carried away and end up sliding down another slippery slope into overwhelm, which is not good for me at all.   Get back on that horse… but take your time.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLES

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What makes me unique?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Reading Summary:  My ability to connect with others (Knight of Cups) and lift them (Seven of Wands) up as I guide them towards a better place (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Aw… okay so that was really nice to hear and I hope it’s true. I don’t really usually see myself as particularly adept socially, but I always hope that when I interact with others that it benefits them in some way, and I love helping people in finding their path… whether that be a new perspective or spiritual path, or in a variety of different life situations.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE GOLDEN WHEEL

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can spirit help me with my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  By giving me the strength and sense of authority (Emperor) to needed in order to break through my self-deceptions (Seven of Swords) and thus better go after what I really want (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards indicate that spirit’s job in assisting my intuition is primarily in fact-checking.  Not facts of the brain, but rather ensuring that my intuition is not being deceived or re-routed and thus steering me off track.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT

Reassurance Needed

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the back room of a metaphysical shop downtown before taking on a handful of clients the shop had booked for someone that never showed up.  The owner is a past employer, and called me in desperation for someone to fill in so that he wouldn’t have to cancel the line-up of clients scheduled for the day.

I was a bit nervous, as I haven’t read for a shop in a long time… not since before I’d lost my voice.  The meditation was unguided, and focused on grounding and centering, and was very helpful in getting me to the mindset and place internally that I needed to be in to do the readings.

Nine of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a card of struggles, conflict, tests, and trials in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, and communication.  This very often communicates itself in themes of anxiety, depression, fears, and inner strife.

When I got this card today, the positive message was easy to find, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to relate it to my day.  But now, this evening, I’ve found that connection.   After spending the better part of three hours crawling around in the attic of my building with the fire department this evening, I now have the source of that worry that this card has appeared to reassure me about.

The appearance of the Nine of Swords in today’s draw is about not allowing worry to close you down and close you off.  The woman’s posture in the card’s depiction is all about closing in and shutting out the outside.  But sometimes, when you have worries and concerns?  It’s better to let them out and share them with others, and those others that you open up to share with are often a source of reassurance that has been needed.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I align with and take advantage of that energy? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Tarot of the Silicon Dawn

Reading Summary:  That… is a very unique Seven of Cups.  Just sayin’.   And on the note about cups…. holy cups, yeah?  Clearly, taking advantage of that building energy of this lunar cycle is all about getting in touch with and a modicum of control over my emotions.   If I want to take advantage, I will need to make sure that in the area of new experiences (Ace of Cups) I’m taking on a more dominant role (King of Cups)… and a more responsible one (Four of Cups over the Seven of Cups).

Take Away:  These cards indicate that I am getting to that point in my growth (and that point of advancing out of the fog, as well) where I need to concentrate on elements of how I am experiencing my emotions that will give me some control.   I think the need for patience is still present, as hinted at in the Four of Cups over the Seven, but at the same time, it’s time to take on some control over my path forward.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SILICONE DAWN (TRIMMED)

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #1

Goblin Tarot RWS VersionLeave Behind: Pipe dreams.  The Ten of Cups in this position is warning me that on the approach to spring, it will be important to keep my feet on the ground and my eyes cast forward.  Daydreams and unrealistic goals need to be set aside in order to deal with the here and now.

Take With Me:  Don’t allow disappointments to rock the footing I’ve gained.  To become “king of the castle”, sometimes you have to “overcome” and keep moving, even when shit hits the fan.

Expose and Share:  Own your thoughts and reach for clarity. Allow others to share in your vision.  Moving forward takes strength, cunning, and planning.  This can be done better when you have the input of others, as it allows you to keep in mind how you influence others when plotting your own course.

Keep Close:  It’s okay to feel vulnerable, but now is not the time to broadcast it to the world or seek the advice from others concerning these issues that create self doubt and confusion.  Instead, take this time to examine these on an internal level and work through some of it on your own.

Moral of the Story:  To perpetuate a healthy growth forward into spring I’m going to need to use the “fake it until you make it” method (interesting that this came up, as it was also present in a reading I did for someone else earlier today).   Essentially, project strength and that strength will come.  Project self control and that self control will come.  Project that you are proactive and surefooted, and that sure-footing will come. 

In other words?  Stop wallowing.

DECK USED:  GOBLIN TAROT (RWS VERSION)

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: What could I change to switch on my intuition?

Eight Coins Tarot

Reading Summary:  This is a warning. My intuition is already “switched on” (Seven of Swords) and I need to take time where I’m at (Hanged Man) rather than charging ahead (Chariot). The results of that charge will end up being more trouble than they’re worth (Devil).

Take Away:  When I have been doing reads on exploring meditation and developing a closer, more conscious, connection with my guides, this is always the answer that comes up.   “Patience.  Wait.  It’s not time yet.  Ignore this… and you’ll be sorry.”  Sometimes it alternates with “move at a snail’s pace”… but all in all, the answers are very consistent, and I’m listening.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TAROT (TRIMMED)

Everyday Isn’t Today

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the car while J was driving.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t particularly relaxing or rejuvenating.  I’ll have to give it another shot before bed tonight.

Ten of Cups - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally read as an indication of completion past contentment in the area of one’s emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition.  This often translates into themes that deal with relationship bliss, harmony with others, an alignment of values, and an even flow of abundance in the meeting of everyone’s emotional needs.

What I see here is reassurance, though.   Today has been a slow crawl through the cloying sludgy quagmire of existential quicksand. Every fucking thing I’ve tried to do today has taken three times as long as it should have.  Packaging orders, drawing my cards, taking a shower… even making a sandwich.   I don’t know how or why this has been the case.  If I didn’t know better?  I’d think I had missed my meds, but I just checked last night and I have not missed any.

The appearance of the Ten of Cups in today’s draw is a reassurance that it’s not always like this.  It’s just not.   Today was an aberrant fluke, and not the norm.  So take a deep breath and remember that things usually go much smoother and are much more harmonious.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How is the growing lunar energy manifesting in my life?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m beginning to see the light (Four of Wands) at the end of the long trek through this winter’s fog (Five of Cups) and just need to remain patient with the process (Temperance).

Take Away:  Lots of reminders this week to foster patience with myself.  It’s a good reminder, though, and one that I need pretty regularly, so I suppose it’s not that big of a surprise.  After so long in the fog and in the effort to find a path out of it and back to a better place mentally and emotionally, I’ve recently begun to identify some progress.  Small at it is, it’s encouraging, and the growing lunar energy will assist in this effort and my progress, as long as I remember to not push.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What would be a better option or path? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Law of Attraction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Accept that I have the tools (Magician) I need to protect what’s important to me (Four of Coins) without going overboard. It’s okay to take some time for self reflection (Hermit), but don’t lose sight of what you’re truly after (Judgement).

Take Away:  When I’m feeling vulnerable, I have a habit of erecting barriers and perpetuating self abuse (not physical but mental/emotional).  There are better ways to accept that I need to take things slow, including accepting I’m capable and making sure I stay in touch with myself and my goals.

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How am I blocking my intuition?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to go go go (Three of Wands) when instead I need to be seeking a more stable pragmatic approach (Queen of Swords) and grounded energy for myself (Four of Pentacles).  Only with a good foundation can you successfully charge forward toward your dreams (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So… yeah.  This is yet another reminder about where I am in emerging from the fog I’ve been dealing with over the last few months. As I emerge my intuition will grow and flex, stretching out of that fog along with the rest of me.  But if I allow my tendency to push and rush, this isn’t going to work and it will hinder my progress rather than help.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL TOTEM TAROT

 

Support and Growth

IMG_2920Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was about dealing with conflict and taking a moment to “step back” during times of conflict in order to see them from an “outside view” rather than internalizing and getting wrapped up in the moment.

The guided meditation also touched on one of the key tenants to my life, which is the assertion that conflict and difficulties are a part of our lives not to break us down, but rather to build us up and make us better and/or stronger.

Every once in a while I run across those that seem to refuse to see the negative things that have happened in their life in any sort of positive light.  Instead, they choose to cast themselves as a victim, and view this horrible thing in their life that happened as the “destroyer” of good in their lives.

I have a hard time with this perspective, and I’m not sure how to communicate with people about moving forward and strength when they so stubbornly stick to this viewpoint.  I always feel a desire to help, but how do you help someone that chooses to sit in the mud and won’t even consider the possibility of standing up?

Right, so that sort of went off on my own little tangent.  Sorry about that.

Two of Cups - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally read as partnerships and themes to do with unity in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What I see in this card is about support, though.  In the imagery both of the harpy women seem to be supporting each other on an emotional level.  It is in the tilt of the heads and angle of the chins.  There is sanctuary here in this partnership.  A connection that feels both familiar and familial.

The message for me in today’s card is that I need to make peace with those I love.  We support each other through the hard times, and are there for each other when needed.  Sometimes?  Conflicts happen.  But in the grand scheme of things, these conflicts are unimportant, and it’s the connection and support that matters.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where would I most benefit from patience at this time?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary:  I need to make sure I’m not judging myself too harshly (Judgement) when it takes time to get the money together (Five of Coins)  to support my ambitions (Queen of Swords).  Don’t worry about the flow of money, forcing yourself into an even more stringent spendthrift will not make things move faster (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  The cards are indicating that I need to allow things to unfold at their own pace.  Making myself miserable by being miserly is not going to move things along any quicker.  Just let it move along at its own pace and practice patience.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What area of my life is requiring too much sacrifice at this time?

Tarocco delle Vetrate

Reading Summary:  Trying to find a balance between bolstering my self confidence (Six of Wands) and protecting myself (Nine of Wands) is stealing away (Seven of Swords) my ability to get to where I want to be (Ten of Cups).

Take Away:  As I work at pulling myself out of the fog of uncertainty and self doubt that I’ve been experiencing for the past couple of months, I’m trying too hard to both open myself up to seeking out the light… and keeping a protective outer shell in place. 

These contrasting efforts are preventing me from getting to that place of contentment and abundance I seek in my personal life.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DELLE VETRATE

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How am I using my intuition in my life right now?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m using my intuition to assist me in keeping myself afloat (Four of Wands) as I struggle with inner darkness (Devil) and healing from the damage and doubts that winter’s events cast upon me (Nine of  Swords).  Hidden behind that darkness I struggle with is the long term growth I’m seeking (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In my current situation, I am using my intuition as a life preserver to help me in keeping myself from sinking back into the fog.  Although not my only life preserver, it is helping me stay afloat so that I can keep moving forward.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT