daily tarot

Don’t Put Off Happiness

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped cuz I burrowed into the pillow and got myself some extra sleep instead.  I was feeling a bit more tired than normal today, which I’m blaming on the vaccine although, chances are?  It’s just because my body heard the news that I’m taking a few days off.

Moonroot Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of happiness and joy, success, fun, and taking pleasure in the little things.  In the tarot, the Sun card is the awakening to light’s reassurance after the confusion and uncertainty found in the Moon card.

When combined with the Flower Fortune card that was pulled for today, which says “The land is always on the mind of a flying bird”, the message that I see being conveyed in these cards today is about being  happy with where you are and what you have.

The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It’s important to foster happiness in the now, instead of waiting for it to come later on.   Don’t put off your happiness for when it is more convenient or for when the time “feels right”.  Bask in the happiness you have now, enjoy it, and don’t take it for granted.

DECK USED:  MOONROOT TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 15 & 16

Blood Moon Tarot by Sam GuayWhat role does happiness play in my life?
Four of Honey atop Knight of Skins

For me, happiness is the blend of fiery passion and the security of a stable future. These are the two halves of my life where happiness lives and grows. One lives in comfort, the other in pursuing my passions. Although they appear to be on either ends of a spectrum, for me they are in fact two sides of the same coin.

How can I better enhance happiness in my life?
Queen of Honey atop Nine of Skins

Don’t allow yourself to become distracted or quit along the way.  You need to stay strong, and to stay strong you need to take care of yourself.  You can manifest anything you want in  your life, but only if you are well enough to do so.   Self care isn’t selfish. You can’t help others out of the mud without sure footing first, and you can’t manifest more happiness in your life without ensuring you are well and taking care of yourself.

The Appearance of the Fool as a Bridge

The Fool card is the bridge that connects the role happiness plays in my life with how to better enhance that happiness.  This card is the connection between the “what is” and the “how to get more of this”.  It speaks of stepping forward into life with eagerness, anticipation, and a sense of wonder, and taking each day as it comes with this mentality at the helm.

DECK USED:  BLOOD MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Moonroot TarotThe fledgling goddess had much she wanted to share with the world, but was blind to the fact that she was not yet ready. She desired adulation and veneration, and was unwilling to wait and take her time learning all of the lessons still before her yet to be discovered.

Learning takes too long, she decided.  She wanted her full power now, and the admiration of her people.  Especially, perhaps.  And thus so sought her full power, and obtained the love and adulation of her people.

But she was unable to keep her desire for that veneration from controlling her, and as time went on she found that it was not she that controlled the people, but the people that controlled her.  For she could not do without their love and adoration, she had a deep seated need for their attention and veneration.   Having jumped forth untrained, she did not take time to learn the balance needed, and thus she became a slave to her needs, instead of her people becoming a slave to her wishes.

DECK USED:  MOONROOT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I deleted eighteen of my Kickstarter pledges today.  Weeded through them all and decided that some of them just weren’t enough of what I wanted to keep the pledges.  A good number of them were playing card decks. I’m going to start vetting these far more stringently than I have previously.  Being disappointed by the Leaves decks (and Cybershock decks before that) made it clear that I need to be more watchful of the playing card campaigns.

Morning Bonus Read – A Conversation

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s look at our emotions. Treat your emotional center as if it were a separate entity, and try asking it a few questions.”

Mortimer & Ollie Playing CardsHow can I get to know you better?
Six of Spades and Five of Spades

Stop looking at your emotional growth and efforts at developing a stronger emotional intelligence as a sort of challenge that needs to be conquered or problem to be solved.

How are you supporting me?
Six of Hearts and Jack of Clubs

Not all emotions are bad. Finding emotional harmony, especially when you’re in the throes of discovering your passions and exploring them to their depths, is one of the ways that emotions provide support.  It’s in the “Flow” of that creative spark and the peace that you find there.

How are you holding me captive?
Ace of Hearts and Jack of Hearts

Again we see the signs of emotional growth, but here it’s more about holding you back from learning too much too quickly. You’re at the beginning of this journey, and need time to process instead of just plowing ahead.

In what way am I mistreating you at this time?
Two of Diamonds

This echoes back to a reading done yesterday concerning how your addictions can sometimes be spurred on by your emotions.  It’s not so much the emotions mistreating you, but rather that you don’t have not learned the skills to find balance in another way, so you “self medicate” with your addictions.

How can I do better at treating you right?
Five of Diamonds, Six of Diamonds, Ten of Diamonds

Allow yourself to feel the gamut of emotions without trying to shut them down.  Whether it’s disappointment and fear, compassion and kindness, elation and the security of accomplishment… all of these have their place and each needs to be acknowledged and experienced instead of shied away from or disregarded as an inconvenience, unimportant, hubris, or something to be ashamed of.

DECK USED:  MORTIMER & OLLIE PLAYING CARDS

Fresh Air

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I had to get going a bit earlier than normal this morning in order to get my drive done and get back here in time for my appointment at the hospital.

Rainbow Unicorn Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of going beyond the emotional satiation one finds in the Nine of Cups and “sharing the wealth” of that satiation with those around you. It is, in it’s essence, often seen as the “happy family” card and you will often see a gathering of happy people spending time together beneath the rainbow.

Here we see a single unicorn, but the happiness and emotional satiation is still clearly apparent in the illustration. Combined with the Flower Fortunes card today, which says “Now is the time to try something new”, what I see here is that sometimes stillness can be a good thing… other times? It becomes stagnancy and unhealthy.  That means that stagnancy can turn what is happy into restlessness and discomfort.

By keeping things fresh and seeking out happiness in the now, savoring it, and looking for new ways to foster it in our lives it helps keep stagnancy from taking hold and ruining our happiness.

DECK USED:  RAINBOW UNICORN TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 13th & 14th

White Numen TarotWhat role do emotions play in my life?
The Devil, Ace of Swords, Page of Wands

Many of your addictions are driven by the need to create space between yourself and your emotions. This means that your emotions often end up driving your addictions.

Finally realizing and acknowledging this tendency provides an opportunity for you to work on finding a better way of doing things so that your interests are supportive instead of used as either  an escape or “self medicating”.

What can I still learn about coping with emotions?
White Numen, The Moon, The Magician

You’ve spent the majority of your past running away from your emotions, but you’re stronger than that. You can’t run from what is with you every moment of every day and as a part of you, no matter how uncertain or uncomfortable they might make you. You have all the tools needed already to cope with your emotions and carry forward into a stronger emotional intelligence, some of those tools just haven’t “woken up” yet.

DECK USED:  WHITE NUMEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a better way to confront and/or deal with fear of loss?

Rainbow Unicorn TarotReading Summary:  Make sure that you are nurturing yourself as you work to balance home and work (Queen of Pentacles). Part of doing that is making sure that you allow yourself to be open to new and fun potential (Ace of Wands), and allowing yourself to approach these new opportunities with a sense of adventure and childlike wonder (The Fool) instead of ignoring the opportunities because they are not convenient for you or you feel silly going after them (Five of Cups).

Take Away: A lot of times we shy away from new interests or things that spark childlike enthusiasm within us because we think we will be judged for enjoying them. Either judged by others, or even by our own inner critic. A big part of self care (and thus dealing with your inner fears like fear of loss) is making sure that you are allowing yourself to explore these things that create a sense of enthusiasm and wonder instead of shutting them down and pushing them away.

In relation to my own fear of loss explored yesterday, these cards are also saying that there will always be new stuff to explore, so don’t worry about leaving things behind, because there’s always new good stuff ahead to take their place.

DECK USED:  RAINBOW UNICORN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

My appointment at the hospital today was for my first dose of the Covid vaccine. Due to some medical concerns, I had to sit with a heart monitor and blood pressure cuff taking my BP every ten minutes for an entire hour after the vaccine was administered to make sure I didn’t have an adverse reaction.  THAT was my self care for today.

Inner Narratives and Old Habits

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day, although I kinda feel like I could have used it.  I just couldn’t quite find the time with so much to get done and only so many hours to do it in.

Mystical Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Judgement card, and isn’t the Archangel Gabriel looking all kinds of extra fine with his massive 1980’s Rocker mane of hair and bicep cuffs.  Right?  Okay so anyway…

The Judgement card is traditionally a representation of looking upon one’s life at the end of a journey and reflection upon one’s actions and choices along the way. Where the Justice card is about “what have you done lately?”, the Judgement card is further reaching and asks what path you have taken in life and if you are happy with the choices you have made as you moved through life (or whatever journey of growth one is on).

Sometimes the judgement card is very literally about our inner judgements.  It’s about judging others, or judging ourselves.  And here in today’s card, that is the theme of the day, which is made that much clearer by the Flower Fortunes card which speaks of the fact that “You spend most of your life inside your head…” and the importance of making it a nice place to be since you spend so much time there.

Yesterday, I did an “autopilot” fuck up that was disrespectful to Gideon. It wasn’t intentional, it was accidental created by the “muscle memory” of repeated actions. When Gideon pointed out what I’d done, I was not just absolutely shocked and fucking appalled at what I’d done…. I immediately fell into my old habits of self judgement and flagellation. That the offense was accidental and automatic didn’t matter, because it meant I’d failed to think before acting.  That he understood didn’t matter because I’d still shown flagrant disrespect not just in my actions, but in my lack of thought that lead to those actions.  Suffice to say… I had a pretty intense meltdown.

Today’s card comes up as an opportunity to look at this experience and remember to be kind to yourself.  Yes, I fucked up.  The cards have been bringing up often lately how fuck ups are learning experiences and not catastrophes.  Yet I fell into that negative narrative immediately, abandoning self kindness along the way.  It’s important to remember… being kind to others isn’t enough. We have to be kind to ourselves as well.  Not just in our self care, but in the inner narrative as well. If you catch yourself belittling or berating yourself…. stop.  Realize and recognize.  And let it go.  You don’t need to hear it rattling around up there in your head.  You don’t need to keep punishing yourself…. Promise.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Something good I have achieved {for myself} so far this year?

Stolen Child Tarot

 Reading Summary: In order to take better care of yourself (The Empress), you’re allowing others (Six of Oak) to play a larger role in your endeavors and responsibilities (Three of Oak).

Take Away:  When it comes to sharing responsibility or work, I have a real problem. This is something I’ve been working on a great deal for the last year.  Not just going easier on myself and making self care an essential part of life, but allowing those around me to shoulder some of the burden, some of the work, and some of the responsibilities that I have always worked so hard to take on on my own.

The thing is?  It’s not healthy to do what I’ve been doing for so long, the burn out cycles and overwhelm, the constant intense pressure.  It’s not good for me.   And it makes those around me feel closer and more connected when they get to do some of the work and take on part of that responsibility.  I know this… but it’s still hard.  At the same time? I acknowledge that I have come along in massive strides in this area over the past year.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What loss do you fear the most?

Mystical TarotReading Summary: That in some fit of inspiration and drive to move forward and do more, I will tear down everything I’ve worked for.  (The bracketing of the Ten of Pentacles by the King and Queen of Wands.)

This is also communicated in the lack of blue in the queen.  With the Queen in the past, the Ten of Pentacles in the present, and the King of Wands with his blue shoulders in the future, what we see here is a representation of potential growth… and thus a fear of losing that potential and growth.

In both interpretations, it is a loss of stability and security that is the issue.

Take Away: To lose my home. To lose my business. To lose these things that I worked so hard for. To lose the ability to take my passions and create stability from them.

No matter which direction these cards are read in, what it boils down to is stability and security .  My life is filled with passion and drive, but through it all there is a stability that I always push towards and build upon.  As I grow and progress, that stability becomes more stable and steady.  But there is always a risk of …. well, taking a risk, and losing it all as a result.  That risk rides in the heart of the flame of my need to explore my creativity and my passions.  There is no amount of stability and security that can take that risk away as it is a part of the process.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I worked extra hard on getting my orders done early so that I could get some extra sleep tonight, since I have that hospital appointment tomorrow evening after my long-ass drive.

Morning Bonus Read – Crown Energy Center

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Seventh Sphere RWS Tarot - Crown Chakra Tarot Reading

My crown energy right now.

Five of Swords – I have a headache and have been feeling a bit more “under the knife” with my inner dialogue lately, so it fits that these swords are coming from above, sharp and pointed… and aimed at the delicate lilies below.  Although not the traditional read of the Five of Swords, the imagery here speaks volumes to me both concerning what’s mentioned above and the attack on my more mature relationship I’d begun to have with my inner dialogue lately.

Tension I’m currently holding in this area.

Ten of Cups – There’s a certain amount of pressure (self inflicted) to put out the appearance that everything is okay.  And most the time it is.  But at the same time? It’s not.  The fact that I pretty much fell apart last night after time with Gideon makes it pretty clear that everything is not exactly as perfect as I’d like people to believe.

How I can release this tension.

The Moon – Stop allowing uncertainties and insecurities to take root and stir that inner dialogue.  You’re spending too much energy trying to see the shit you’re fucking up on, and not enough on reminding yourself that that insidious inner voice is an asshole and a liar.

Something trivial that I need to let go of.

Six of Wands – Don’t worry so much about what others see.  You are pretending everything is fine, allowing others to see everything is fine when it’s not… and there’s too much energy going into appearances instead of into digging out the problem and what’s causing this imbalance.

How I can be of service to others.

The Hermit – By taking the time to actually do the work needed to find the problem, shine light upon it, and bring it up to the surface to be dealt with. Sometimes the only way to do that is with some in depth soul searching.

How I can improve my connection with my higher self.

Four of Cups – Soften that cold shoulder you’re handing out to your higher self lately, and allow your higher self to come sit beside you instead of taking a back seat.  Vulnerability is hard and it’s okay to stumble and back track sometimes in your journey.  Take some time to get back in touch with yourself, and let the higher self return to the table.

DECK USED:  SEVENTH SPHERE RWS TAROT

Be Prepared

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped, replaced instead with my appointment with my shrink. It was a decent appointment and we agree that I’m fully and completely out of the depressive episode.  And that structure is good for me regardless of whether I actually like it or not.

Love and Mystery Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control, willpower, determination, direction, and success drawn to flourish from the marrow of these themes.

In this card, I see this theme fully realized.  The horses are wild and the surroundings chaotic, and yet the figure in control not only has things in hand, but has time and capacity to go out of his way to look toward those watching, make eye contact, and strike a pose for onlookers.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which says “A chance meeting will open  new doors to success and friendship”, what I see here is a message about how you never know what’s going to happen in life, but if you’re ready for the unexpected you can quickly grab the reigns and turn things to your advantage.

Whether the unexpected is a chance (yet fortuitous) meeting or an opportunity that comes out of the blue and is about to whiz right by you.  If you’re ready to take what comes and grab hold, you can turn whatever it is into something good for you and your life, you just need to make sure you’re feeling in a place of control and have your determination at the ready at a moments notice.

DECK USED:  LOVE AND MYSTERY TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 12th & 13th

Young Witch TarotWhat role does confusion play in my life?
Six of Cups, Knight of Cups, The Sun

They make me wish for an easier time when I could just go after whatever I wanted and enjoy the ride to success without worrying so much about the possibility of fucking up along the way.

This is an emotional response of nostalgia for something simpler in moments when I am feeling confused.  It gives me a chance to look back, and reminds me that there may be an opportunity to look for simpler ways of doing things than the one that has me all tied up in confusion.

How can I better cope with confusion?
Eight of Cups and Three of Cups

Find those simpler options and go after them, making sure that the time saved and the release of stress in doing so goes towards together time with others and healthy types of celebration.

DECK USED:  YOUNG WITCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is the best way for a person to attain happiness?

Love and Mystery TarotReading Summary:  Don’t allow disappointments (Three of Swords) to turn your gaze away from the good in life (Five of Cups).  Take pride in your conquests (Five of Swords), but don’t linger too long before embarking on new adventures (Three of Wands).

Take Away: The best way to obtain happiness (according to these cards) is to make sure that when things don’t go how you expect them to, that you don’t allow yourself to get stuck in that disappointment and thus allow it to stagnate and fester while you miss out on the other good stuff going on around you.   And to appreciate your victories, but by the same turn, don’t sit still there either,

So as a whole, the answer lies in movement.  It lies in not allowing yourself to sit still and stagnate too long, whether that is in bad feelings and disappointments, or the good feelings either.  Keep moving, and keep seeking.

DECK USED:  LOVE AND MYSTERY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

We ordered pizza for supper tonight instead of fighting over who is going to cook and what’s going to be made.