circle of life tarot

Holy Fury of Chaos

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I found it difficult to stay on track with the guided meditation.  In truth?  I can’t even remember what the theme of the meditation was about.  Just too much going on in my brain, I think.  It was all I could do to realize when my mind was straying and bring myself back to center again.

Knight of Wands - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a beta energy, personality, or person influencing the areas of one’s drive, ambition, and passions.

What I see in today’s card is chaos.   Aggression too, but chaos.  So much fucking chaos.  In fact, when I first saw this card today, there was so much chaos that I had a really hard time making out what the depiction in this card actually is.

The message in this card isn’t about the picture so much as about that chaos.  I couldn’t write this post yesterday (I’m writing it a day late and will back-date it here in the blog) because I couldn’t find… the message.  I couldn’t find the positive as all I could see was the confusion and chaos.

Today, I have the message.  Yes, the perception of chaos is still there and yes, it’s completely on match with everything that went on yesterday from being (temporarily.. I hope) laid off from all of my jobs other than the farm to the sudden tank in my online sales, the loss of medical benefits, the break in at the food bank and them being cleared out of everything they had, the lack of ANY food (or supplies to even make food from scratch) in grocery stores… every part of the stability I work so hard on and struggle and strive for so damned hard and depend on for my balance… ripped out from under me like a rug.  And thus… chaos.

The message here isn’t only about the chaos tho.  It’s about the Knight of Wands in a moment of chaos.  It’s about not giving up and pushing for your dreams even when things are difficult.  It’s about… not breaking under the strain that chaos can create.

I can do this.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Where would I most benefit from releasing control during this liminal time?

Eight Coins Tarot

Reading Summary:  These cards are about making the choice (The Lovers) to let go of my top space and allowing the natural balance of our relationship (Two of Cups) to fall back into place.  I don’t have to have all the tools all the time (The Magician Rx).

Take Away:  I’ve already made the choice to do this.  It’s time for us to fall back into balance and I feel good in letting you take back control.  I still think it’s kinda crappy that that top space doesn’t allow for giving the kind of aftercare I want to provide you with… but that last card makes it clear that it’s okay I don’t have all “the tools” and feels like a direct reflection on that perceived shortcoming.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TATTOO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve on where I am emotionally in the week ahead?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Work on staying grounded (King of Coins) and connecting with my strengths (Emperor) and focusing on my composure (Queen of Swords).

Take Away:  With everything up in the air and feeling so chaotic right now, the advice here is to tap into those grounded  emotions and calm composure in order to keep things calm and somewhat level emotionally.   I am more than capable of making it through these difficult times as long as I don’t allow myself to fall under the shadows of confusion, fear, or a mentality of victimization.  I am the solid foundation in my life when the world goes mad around me.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better manage my inner critic?

Law of Attraction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Recognize when I’m being a dick (First Card) and take time to find a better approach (Second Card) that involves taking charge without lashing out (Third Card) at myself.  (Interpretation off imagery alone.)

Take Away:  My go-to way to motivate myself and push myself forward is to beat myself up and lash at myself like a bastard farmer whipping the ass of an oxen to make it pull the plow.  That lash, in my case, is my inner critic.  The cards indicate that I need to work at finding another way to motivate myself that doesn’t include beating myself up in the process.   So much easier said than done… but they’re not wrong.

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

 

 

Open Mind, Open Heart… No Walls

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1EXqUjKyraQ3_bjXxPF4-dLhWWNpAE1bbD8QjOBu9ThecPKKYXPrbC9fRUC7p3hi9SPGTgbR9Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and focused on fostering trust in yourself,  your decisions, and your intuition.   We all have moments of self doubt, but some more than others.  And the more you devalue yourself, the harder it is to find that trust.

The guided meditation spoke on how sometimes, when you are feeling it that difficult to connect and trust your perceptions or your judgement, it’s okay.  To build that trust back up, that first step can be as simple as accepting that things could be worse.  Whatever choices you have made helped you avoid those scenarios that could be worse than the one you are now in.   So take a breath and be kind to yourself, and give yourself a little credit.

Seven of Cups - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Cups, which is traditionally a card that is a representation of being overwhelmed by choices, or having so many options that you need to take a moment to make the best decision available to you.

The cards in this deck seem to do this to me a lot, but what I see most in this card has more to do with the open mouth of the fish at the woman’s feet than with the cups or the traditional meaning.   The strength of the draw to that open mouth speaks very strongly to me, and has its own voice that blends with that of the card’s more common interpretation.   That is to say, the message that I see conveyed in this card today is that sometimes the obvious answer is not the right answer.

I don’t think that this is in reference to any one aspect of my life in the moment, but I do see a great deal of value in the reminder.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in habits and routine that we forget to look around and see if there’s a better way.  Perhaps it’s time that I do just that.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What might that readjustment look like in action? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

A Darisa Tarot, The Lomisht

Reading Summary: To connect more strongly with my emotional side to the point where I can more easily communicate what’s going on, I need to do what I do in order to connect with my intuition (Eight of Wind), and ensure that even when I am feeling at my worst I am reaching for the sun (The Sun over Ten of Wind).  This will foster a stabilization and clarity of thought that will make room for me to build that stronger connection (Liege of Wind).

Take Away:  Lots of swords here… the cards are an indication that a lot of what’s holding me back from connecting and communicating my more emotional self is the overbearing demands of my mind.   Much like with when people struggle connecting to their intuition, I am letting my mind overpower and essentially “speak over” my emotional voice.  In order to be able to better connect with an express my emotions therefore, I need to harness the mind and force it to step back.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT – THE LOMISHT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What area of my life needs some extra attention?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Reading Summary: These cards are referencing hidden emotions that are preparing to spill over (Ace of Cups), because I haven’t taken enough time looking ahead and planning (Three of Wands) which is going to end up feeling like I shot myself in the foot (Seven of Swords).

Take Away:  Yeah…. I’m going to have to do some digging on this.  Preferably before I get to the shooting myself in the foot part of the equation.  I think the lack of foresight is going to be about the upcoming issues caused by the current health scare going on.  It’s going to screw me over (just like so many others) when I can’t make income and that is sure to effect me pretty negatively on an emotional level.   I’d like to address the emotional side of things before the cup actually tips over and everything spills out in a mess, I’m just not sure if that’s going to be possible.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Ask the high priestess card “How can I listen to my intuition more?”

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary: Work at not falling into bad habits that promote the blocking my intuition… things like anxiety (Nine of Swords) and hiding behind inner walls of apathy (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  Those inner walls have slowly been coming down over time as you dig and play sledgehammer at them over the past twelve years.   Over the last few years, it’s become very apparent that those walls had muffled more than just my emotions, but also my intuition to an extent.     Anxiety is one of the triggers that makes me try to erect those walls and hide behind them, because I feel the need to appear calm, even when I am anything but.   The advice of the High Priestess is to not retreat. Do not resurrect those walls.  Do not hide behind those walls that remain.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

 

Dropping the Dead Weight

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was again delayed until bed time.  This is not because of any particular interruption, so much as the fact that I ended up dozing off after visiting Simon’s live Cuppa, Catch Up & Cards this morning over on YouTube.

After waking up I decided I’d rather hop online and spend time together than “waste” time meditating and (possibly) falling back asleep a second time.   Yes, I know that meditation is not wasting time, but it sure feels like it when what I really want is to spend some time with you.

Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is most commonly a card that is interpreted as representing speed in movement and fast paced changes, and often works as an accelerator on surrounding cards when you are reading with multiple cards.

I… definitely don’t see this in the imagery of this card.  Not that I don’t see movement in the figure’s stance or that she doesn’t seem to be walking off into the sunset, but what stands out to me today has more to do with what she appears to be holding in her grip.

She appears to be carrying a head… and a weapon as well.   What I see here is that sometimes you have to walk away, not from something that you are perhaps emotionally invested in (as the Eight of Cups often represents), but away from things that you have invested time and effort and your inner spark into.   Sometimes it’s better to cut and run rather than allowing the dead weight (the rest of the body left behind) to drag you down.

I’m not sure where exactly this applies to me today, but it is excellent advice, and something I will be sure to be keeping in mind.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What would I benefit from releasing as this lunar cycle comes to a close?

Eight Coins Tarot

Reading Summary: Lack of growth (Seven of Pentacles Rx). Catastrophizing (The Tower). Hands tied (Ten of Swords).  (And…. there’s the sharp and distinct tone I’m used to getting from the Eight Coins deck.  I missed you, my old sharp-tongued friend.)

Take Away:  I’ve been really stressing out over the lack of growth factor that the issues I’ve been going through has potentially had on my business.  This includes struggling with a sense of helplessness.  As this moon’s energy decreases and the lunar cycle comes to a close, it’s time to start releasing these worries and fears, and instead start looking forward again.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2 Am I going to get to see Ms B again before the fall?

Whispering Spirits Tarot

Reading Summary: One creature isn’t moving very fast (King of Coins), and the other ones looking away (Seven of Coins) from the possibility of a gathering (Three of Cups).  The color variations progress on the ground from spring (Card 1) to summer (card 2) to early fall (Card 3).

Take Away:  It could happen near the end of summer (color of the sky in the Three of Cups combined with the more autumn shade of the ground), but it’ll be a struggle to get to a point where I can take off for a few days and go visit.  I need to keep my eyes on that slowly growing prize of my goals rather than the social aspects of visiting.  It’s  possible that a visit over this time period could very well be at the detriment of my goals. 

DECK USED:  WHISPERING SPIRITS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I safely increase my intuitive abilities?

Fenestra Tarot

Reading Summary:  To do so at this time will involve becoming overwhelmed (Seven of Cups) and risking shutting down (High Priestess… she landed Rx but I turned her upright for the picture) as that overwhelm spreads into other aspects of my life (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Right, so…. the cards say now is not the time and outline the consequences of trying to push it right now. 

DECK USED:  FENESTRA TAROT

The Pathless Wood

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and focused upon boredom.  Honestly, though?  I don’t think I paid enough attention to the message in the meditation to get much out of it.   It was just so nice to sink into the meditation itself that I may have… forgotten to listen to what the person guiding the meditation was actually saying.

The Moon - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Moon card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of illusion, uncertainty, and confusion.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the posture of the woman in the card, her head tilted up.. the world under one arm, land squid under her other hand.  The message that I see in this imagery today is that it’s OK to be uncertain sometimes. Uncertainty is a part of life… Especially with someone like me who does a lot of things on their own and plows ahead with an entrepreneurial spark.

Because I have so many things on the go or that I’m doing on my own, and because a lot of what I’m doing is very different than that of other’s paths, of course my footing is going to be uncertain sometimes and I’m going to feel like I’m walking through shadows instead of in the light.

It’s similar to when hiking, you can take the well beaten path and have sure footing… or  you can take your own way into the woods and deal with the possibility of getting lost or being tripped up by uneven ground.  I prefer to tread the latter.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How is the waning lunar energy manifesting in my life?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary:  I am at a turning point (Ace of Cups) where I need to do some introspection (Four of Swords) on how to move forward and what to leave behind. I can choose to either move towards my goals and dreams (Ten of Disks), or allow myself to be overwhelmed by anxieties and worries (Nine of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards indicate that the choice is mine, and that I need to do a bit of soul searching in order to make sure I take the path that allows me to move forward. As lunar energy wanes, this is the time to sink into that introspection for a bit and examine where I am currently, where I want to go, and how I want to go about getting there.

DECK USED:  ARCANA IRIS SACRA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Draw or write something free-form inspired by the cards?

Sea and Sky Tarot There was once an ethereal goddess that lived in a forest with her loyal companion (The High Priestess).  Her sister, the Goddess of Night, had come to visit but was quite the loner and often went out alone (The Hermit).

One day a poacher came into the woods. He used a disguise to try and conceal himself from the attention of the entities that protected the forest (Wheel of Fortune) and began catching and killing the creatures that the goddess held so dear. Unfortunately for him, the beautiful goddess of the forest had many allies that kept watch over the forests (Strength) and she was alerted immediately to the poacher’s presence.

The goddess was upset by the news of  the intruder’s actions (Judgement).  How dare he come and hunt upon her lands.  The theft of each friend he caught or killed was a wound upon her heart.  She tried to be patient… she tried to be kind (Temperance), and yet the longer she waited, the more she bled.

The Goddess of Night, seeing her sister’s decline and loving her so much, decided that she would deal with this issue herself.  She approached the poacher and began to seduce him with her mystery and wiles.

Each day she came to him and charmed him further, pulling him deeper and deeper into her web (The Hanged One) until he believed her to be all that is right in the world (The Empress).

As he fell deeper and deeper under her spell (Justice), he could no longer tell what was reality and what wasn’t (The Moon).  With each day that passed she lead him deeper into the forest until he became forever lost within the depths of the darkness among the trees (The Devil).

DECK USED:  SEA AND SKY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I underestimate my intuitive abilities?

Celtic Dragon Tarot

Reading Summary:  When my anxiety is out of control (Nine of Swords) and I’m trying to block everything out (Death atop The Sun) by hiding in my work (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Okay, so that is a common habit of mine.  Blocking out unpleasant things like discomfort and anxiety through sinking into my work.  Unfortunately, when I do that?  I block out the good as well.   And I don’t feel that, during those times, my intuition is as effective as it is when I’m in a more balanced place.   The cards indicate that this may not be the case.

DECK USED:  CELTIC DRAGON TAROT

Appreciate the Little Things

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was once again delayed until bed time.  I swear to f’ck that I’m trying to fit it in.  I really am.  But there seems to be a serious challenge to getting those ten or fifteen minutes every.. damn.. DAY so far this week.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a traditionally a representation of success, positivity, happiness and warmth, fun and exuberance.

I think that little lizard dog thing has an eyeball on its ass.  Just sayin’.

Okay so what I see in this card’s imagery is a LOT of little details.  All of the cards are pretty detailed in this deck, but today I feel like every time I look away from the card and then look back, I notice another little detail that suddenly feels significant. Just as significant as the last one.  All of them small like the eye looking spot on the rear of the creature at her feet.  The bauble hanging from her necklace…. the fact that her necklace doesn’t go around her neck but appears to hang from her ears.  The skull on her head, her navel, her tattoos, the flowers and wands she holds.

And yet it doesn’t feel cluttered.  It doesn’t feel overwhelming either.

What I feel from this is that the message in today’s draw has to do with noticing the little things and appreciating them.  Cherishing them.   Sometimes the big picture sucks, but you can still find pleasure in the little things.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Looking at the past few weeks, what may have been impeded by miscommunication?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  My progress moving forward into my passion (Knight of Swords) has been hampered by retreat (The Hermit) because I’ve been walking on eggshells (Six of Swords) and struggling to find balance between my personal needs and business responsibilities (Queen of Disks Rx).

Take Away:  Okay so this is about the letter, and it’s about how I’ve reacted to the letter by closing myself, which has hindered my “go get ’em” forward momentum concerning my passions and ambitions.  That letter caused an imbalance, and a disruption in my comfort levels which has caused some problems in a number of different areas concerning my business, my home life, and my own self care as well.

IS the letter a miscommunication, then?  Am I over-reacting to it?  Is it not the unreasonable demand and threat-thru-leverage that I perceived it to be?  I think this might be something I need to think on.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at physically at this time?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: Independence on my journey (Queen of Swords) toward “traditional exercise” (Hierophant)  is holding me back.  Stop ignoring the help that’s available to me (Five of Coins) and I’ll find a better way (Page of Swords) to move forward and enjoy the journey (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So I know that I need to get to the gym and gain some weight.  I know this, and yet I’ve not been able to manage it.  I just have no interest or motivation towards that direction. J has offered to join me, and yet I haven’t really accepted or refused.  Just… meh.    The cards indicate that I need to accept and get going on this.  Where I am physically is in a holding pattern… and it’s time to move past that, and accept the help I need (even if that help is just in motivation) in order to get myself back on track.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I move more into my heart space?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Accept that it’s okay to be recognized for the good stuff (Six of Wands) and own that shit (The Emperor) rather than shoving it off, because by doing so it will create contentment (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  I had some really sweet things said about me today that really made it stand out to me just how differently I see myself compared to how others seem to see me.  It was nice to hear, but there’s a part of me that is always reserved and holds back from absorbing praise internally when it is given.   I worry that in doing so my ego will swell into something ugly and insufferable, and… often I honestly am not sure if I even deserve praise when its given as well.  These cards indicate that it won’t make my ego insufferable, but will create a sense of contentment within myself that I’m currently missing.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

Garden Goodness

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was non-existent.  I had plans to re-do my meditation before sleep, as my efforts in the morning were an epic fail… but then I fell asleep on the phone while listening to my mother voicing her many complaints concerning myself and life in general… and, it didn’t get done.

The Magician - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is Japanese Santa…. no sorry, just kidding.  Today’s draw is the Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of resourcefulness and having the tools you need to manifest… whatever needs manifesting.

What really stands out to me in this card is the rose vines  that surround the figure.  They are lush and happy and in full growth.  This card is a reminder that I need to get out into my balcony garden and do some TLC with my plants out there, preparing them for spring and giving them the little encouragements they need at this time of year to start waking up so that they will sprout and flourish.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to encourage kindness toward myself?

New Choice Tarot de Marseilles

Reading Summary:  Walk softly and carry a big stick (The Star atop Queen of Wands)… and a reiteration of sorts because… it’s okay to go after what you want (Knight of Wands) but make sure you’re taking care to keep boundaries and defenses in place when doing so (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Now is a great time to focus on my passions, and in doing so I will feel better and thus be better… and nicer… to myself.   The cards are simply reminding me that I need to be careful not to get carried away and end up sliding down another slippery slope into overwhelm, which is not good for me at all.   Get back on that horse… but take your time.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLES

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me unique?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Reading Summary:  My ability to connect with others (Knight of Cups) and lift them (Seven of Wands) up as I guide them towards a better place (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Aw… okay so that was really nice to hear and I hope it’s true. I don’t really usually see myself as particularly adept socially, but I always hope that when I interact with others that it benefits them in some way, and I love helping people in finding their path… whether that be a new perspective or spiritual path, or in a variety of different life situations.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE GOLDEN WHEEL

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can spirit help me with my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  By giving me the strength and sense of authority (Emperor) to needed in order to break through my self-deceptions (Seven of Swords) and thus better go after what I really want (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards indicate that spirit’s job in assisting my intuition is primarily in fact-checking.  Not facts of the brain, but rather ensuring that my intuition is not being deceived or re-routed and thus steering me off track.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT