One Brick at a Time

IMG_3365Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused upon allowing yourself to step back and see a bigger picture.  I’ve kind of lost what the whole message of this meditation was about, but what really stuck with me concerning it is how sometimes, when I need some especially calming meditation, I lie down in the bottom of the tub with the shower running and watch the drops of water slowly drip down the sidewall of the tub.

Sometimes, I need that. That closed off and bearing down on the minuscule.  Sometimes when the world becomes overwhelming, that time can help me find center in the middle of the overload.

But it’s important not to stay there.  You have to be able to bring yourself back open tot he world again.  If not?  It’s not healthy.

The Tower - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden changes that cause chaos and upheaval.

Sometimes the stuff that falls apart needs to do so.  And sometimes?  What needs to fall apart has to do so at our own hands. The Tower is a representation of chaos and destruction, but there’s nothing here in this imagery that speaks to me of it necessarily being a surprise.

There’s only so much space in the world.  Sometimes when we outgrow our egg, we have to crack it and break free of the shell in order to find something better.  Sometimes?  No one can do this work but you, yourself.

These Tower moments are by choice, but that makes them no less powerful.  In the rubble of the mess laid bare, you can then build something better in its place.  Now is the time of destruction and that’s okay.  Just keep in mind when the dust settles that returning to the old way of life is like a chick trying to crawl back inside it’s busted egg.   It isn’t going to work.   It’s time to build something new in its place.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I continue to align myself with lunar and seasonal energies moving forward?

Arcana Iris Sacra Tarot

Reading Summary: Even in times when things are good (Nine of Cups) and it feels like it’s a good time to rest (Nine of Wands) and take stock (Nine of Discs), always stay open to learning new things (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  These cards are about dedication. It’s always easy to reach for your faith when times are hard.  In difficult times it’s natural to reach for one’s faith for stability and hope. But in good times, we often forget as we become distracted by other things.  We slack off on leaving offerings, and do not place our faith and its customs as a priority.  The cards are indicating that to continue aligning myself with the seasonal and lunar energies moving forward, it is important to remember to continue upon my  path and in the elements of my faith in good times and bad.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: How do other’s perceive me?

Tarot of the Silicone Dawn

Reading Summary: Enabler… Okay so that’s an intuitive hit but let me work it out.

It has to do with using my long history of experience (Six of Cups) to spark the inspiration of others to go after what makes them happy (Devil and Ace of Cups), even if that sometimes means that they use their resources towards that end rather than towards more practical means (Five of Swords and Seven of Wands).

Take Away: Slightly embarrassing moment?  I was scared when I pulled for this question that the cards would tell me that people perceived me as a know-it-all. 

What’s indicated in the cards is that I encourage people to go after what makes them happy rather than always opting for the practical and responsible option. I can definitely cop to this, especially in the tarot community. My enthusiasm for cartomancy and vast array of decks in my collection probably make this pretty inevitable.

As I have become more and more comfortable socializing in different tarot circles, rather than keeping to myself as I have in my past, I’ve found that I really enjoy sharing my collection as well as my enthusiasm with those that enjoy these things as well. I don’t really see anything wrong with that.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What have I learned about myself through this month’s tarot challenge?

78Tarot Elemental Tarot of the Natural

Reading Summary:  Too much time alone (The Hermit) leads to  a struggle concerning resistance to change (Death Rx) and indecision (Hanged Man Rx).  I handle these things better when they are shared with others (Two of Water).

Take Away:  Essentially?  I need the emotional support of others to help me though times of change and issues that create indecision and uncertainty.  When left on my own to deal with those times of change, I end up digging in my heels rather than allowing that change to flow over me and through my life.



What Is Under My Control?

IMG_3333Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused upon allowing for your flaws and imperfections, because it is only in imperfection that perfection itself can be found. We all have flaws and things about ourselves that we’re not proud off or are embarrassed about.   The topic of today’s meditation was to say that it’s okay.

It’s okay to be flawed.  It’s what makes us human.   Yes, I believe that it’s important to strive towards being better.  But, it’s also important to accept that your flaws are not something to hate about yourself.  You can strive to be better while still accepting that your present self is okay.

So many people spend their lives unwilling to know themselves well and love and accept themselves for who and what they are.  They hide from their flaws, refusing to see them or choosing to not accept them and shaming themselves. This feels like such a waste of time to me. If there is truly something about yourself that you do not like… wouldn’t a better use of that time be to work at improving in some way?  Whether that be through change of whatever that “flaw” might be… or through your perception of yourself possessing it.

Six of Pentacles - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is is the Six of Pentacles, which traditionally is a representation of give and take, harmony, and charity in the area of one’s finances, resources, and the physical world.  The card speaks of finding balance between the haves and the have-nots.

Like most of the cards I’ve pulled so far for this deck, what I see in the imagery of this card is a bit different than the traditional meaning.   I love this about this particular deck, and about the Hush Tarot as well, actually.

There is a balance here.  A form of charity here in the imagery of this card, but to me the imagery feels more like protection.   Between the circle of rope that feels like a barrier you would make when casting a circle of protection for magic, to the robed figure bent over to two sleeping forms…. it all speaks to me of protection.

The message here is about caring for those that need your help, and protecting what’s truly important.  In the mess of everything going on right now in the world, I think that like many others, I have sometimes become distracted by all the different worries and concerns going on.  I fuss over finances and I focus on all the shit that’s falling apart both in my life and in the economy…. but the message here is to not focus so much on those things out of your control.   Instead, it’s time to focus on what you can control and let the rest go.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I embrace those shadows with loving kindness? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Try to embrace what you have while you have it. You’ll be back to your regular amounts of alone time soon enough. Take advantage of this added time with those you love, and involve them in your works. Allow them to influence your work (both of the mundane and magical varieties) with their joyous feminine energy.

Take Away:  Instead of chafing against the added contact, I need to keep in mind how fortunate I am to have people to love me and care for me, and allow me to care for them in turn.  Yes, I miss my alone time, but this is also an opportunity to become closer with L and Z, and one way to do that is to invite them to help me in activities such as my home business work as well as in my spellcraft and rituals.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: What are my strengths when dealing with others?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary:  There is a sense of control and balance (Two of Coins) in how I relate to others while providing them with a feeling of security (Six of Cups) and comfort (Six of Coins).  This ability doesn’t come from a place of brute strength, but from a more subtle but solid sense of inner strength (La Forza).

Take Away:  This is about being reassuring and providing a sense of stable security.

I really hope that is true and is something that I provide for others, but I have very little ability to see myself through other’s eyes, and although I have the ability to examine multiple perspectives on a vast array of topics… I can’t seem to grasp the perspectives of others concerning myself.  Even the times when I’ve asked, I hear their perspectives… the good and the bad… and it’s really wonderful to hear but I can’t seem to see it myself when it’s about… myself.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: How can I continue to improve my intuitive messages?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary: Keep plugging away at it and stay focused on what I want while taking care to slip between the fingers of obstacles that try to get in my way.

Take Away:  My current journey for improving my intuition involves learning more about mediumship and how to control the ability that I discovered (unexpectedly) I possess last fall.   That said, in order to get to that point, I have a lot to learn first, including how to develop a stronger and more conscious relationship with my guides.

The cards indicate (much as a different reading on the same subject a couple months ago indicated) that it’s going to be a long road and take a lot of time and determination.  I can and will “get there”, but it’s going to take dedication and I need to watch out for pitfalls and road blocks along the way that could end up distracting me from my goal if I let them.



More Grounding, Less Fukery

TToday’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon balancing your own self care with that of caring for others.

Although my personal self care is usually sacrificed under the altar of fiscal responsibility, this does come a close second for me.  Especially with those that I am close with like my sister, and… reluctantly, my mother.

I’m aware that I’ve fallen into a bit of a self-neglect mode the last few days…er, weeks. And that has started to awaken my self destruct tendencies.  SO I’m doing my best to try and force myself into doing the self-care things I need, whether I’m really up for it or not.

Essentially, that is what today’s meditation was about.  Taking care of yourself.  Making sure you’re okay so that you can help others be okay too.  Sort of like putting on your oxygen mask on a plane before you help others with putting on theirs.

Temperance - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card, which is traditionally a representation of themes concerning moderation and balance in all things.

As I’ve written recently in a previous post, balance requires constant adjustment, compensation, and compromise in order to make it work.  The imagery that stands out to me in this card is very much focused upon the two cups, but also the sparks of light that surround the angel. Sparks that appear to be made of the same essence of what is in the cups.

The message here is that yes, things feel like they are falling apart, and my scales of balance are way off kilter at the moment… but this is temporary.  Finding balance might take a bit of effort and careful experimentation, but I will find a way to keep the scales balanced if I work at it with patience and a calm, clear mind.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I distinguish between healthy enthusiasm and potentially destructive impulsivity?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Lack of Impulse

Take Away:  There is no impulse in these cards.  There’s no pounce and GO to them.  Even in the page where things are new and enthusiastic, it is in the grounded and steady suit of Pentacles.   What I see here is that if I want to tell the difference between healthy enthusiasm and destructive impulse, it’s in that lack of impulsiveness.  It’s in having forethought and grounded enthusiasm combined with that inner compass of right and wrong.  It’s grounded and solid, not flighty and impetuous.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: Where do I need more support?

Janasa Jaus Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Try again.  STOP being such a dick to yourself.  You’re tired and frustrated.  That’s okay, but it’s time to let go of the blame.

Take Away:  There is a need to bear down on practical actions in order to get myself through the “weeds” of the situation that I currently find myself in and not allow myself to fall into a place of self recriminations and self destruction.  Everyone is fucked right now. It’s not just me.  The economy and the health crisis, the whole thing. It’s a mess.  I didn’t cause it, I didn’t DO anything wrong.  There is absolutely nothing to beat myself up about.

These cards are telling me to not let that inner prick that likes to pick on myself take control even if it means enlisting the help of others to make that happen.  Stay grounded and keep moving forward.  You might not be able to see the end of the field through the tall grass, but it’s there… just make sure each step you take in getting there is based in the solid footing of practicality…. and for fuck sake, get yourself on a schedule already so you can move at a steady, dependable pace.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: Draw 1-3 cards. What symbols speak most strongly to you in today’s card(s)?

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Reading Summary:   What stands out to me in these cards most strongly is the blood in the first card and how it matches the hues of the last card, but how the color scheme of the first matches the scheme of the second.  There is also a personal draw to the rain represented in the middle card, which to me represents a kind of contentment that goes beyond having “everything” and into a pleasure you can only have when having nothing.  This creates an interesting connection between the cards that indicates the beginning of a relationship rather than coming to the end of a cycle as the center card would normally indicate.   The concrete tablet in the last card stands out to me as well, speaking of road blocks between the flames of one’s aspirations and themselves if the sacrifice hinted at by the blood of the first card is not met.

Message in the Cards:  Sometimes partnerships take a bit of sacrifice in order to make them flourish and come out with positive results in the end.



Stop. Breathe. Indulge… Just a Little.

Today’s meditation was nonexistent.  Not because I didn’t have time but because I was lazy and enthused and just… unmotivated.  I didn’t do it.   My head is also killing me and has been for a couple of days now.  Although, that’s probably not an excuse because chances are that the meditation would help with my stress and anxiety levels.  As I’m writing this post a day late, I am not able to do it before bed, of course, because the day is now gone already.

The Empress - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of nurturing energy, mothering themes, and earthy abundance.

I really love the imagery of this card with the beautiful vulnerability of the woman’s nude form before the mirror and the abundance of earthy green hair full of flowers, to the enraptured little elf peering down from above.  What really stands out to me in this card today, though, is her hand upon the mirror.

This speaks to me not so much about the need to nurture others, but to create some nurturing kindness for myself.  This is something I’m not particularly skilled at, but that is important… maybe even more important now when my anxiety and stress is so high and everything is up in the air.   Today’s card is a reminder of this need, and an encouragement to make time for myself and that need for a little extra self care and indulgence.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I best feed that flame? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Interpretation:  Remember where you want to go and that sometimes things have to end in order to start anew with something better.  Embody ownership of your emotions and go after what you want with this new start.  Now is the chance to build a new foundation and reorganize upon it a new way of doing things going forward.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: Where am I spiritually at this time?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Interpretation:  I am struggling with the transition from how things were to how they are now.  It feels like it all happened to fast and has left me reeling. Because of that I am feeling a sense of uncertainty that spreads into my spiritual self.   Not that my faith is lacking, but it is as if the uncertainty of everything else has polluted even this, where that uncertainty is rooted in how quickly things can change and fall apart.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What does it feel like to know something for sure?

Celtic Dragon Tarot

Reading Summary: A sense of ownership and capability (The Magician) even when something is new (Page of Pentacles). When that “something” rests within my wheelhouse. (Three of Pentacles)

Take Away:  What this boils down to is a combination of certainty rooted in my skills and abilities and the ownership of those skills and abilities in a way that keeps me feeling on solid footing to a point that there is no longer any doubt.