Tarot Deck Modification

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments
Darkness of Light Tarot

Darkness of Light Tarot with Black Edging Modification

I did my very first deck modification yesterday, and I’m really happy with it. Or, well perhaps I shouldn’t count it as my first, as I’ve used a punch to round off the corners on a sharp cornered deck in the past. That said, though, this was the first time I have gone beyond that.

The thing is, I have a handful of decks that I’ve purchased (or been given) over the years that I’m not 100% happy with. I’ve considered doing mods on them before, but it kind of felt like… a desecration.

That said, I’ve been following a video blog lately on YouTube, and the author does mods as a part of her practice. In one of her videos, she had a really good point about deck modifications.

That point, or rather, what it boils down to is that these decks are mine, and they need to be comfortable for me and attuned to my energy. If that means I need to alter a deck for it to “fit” me, then that should be okay because it’s my deck. Modifying it with this purpose only makes it that much more mine.

My thoughts on this might be different if I were collecting decks in order to resell, or to keep pristine. But that’s not the case. I use my decks. I enjoy handling them. Shuffling them. Feeling their energies and personalities shine through. So why not try to adjust them when they don’t feel quite right as they are on arrival in my collection? I really need to do something to see if I can make them more comfortable and more mine.

As I said, the only mods I’ve ever done before were rounding corners, and yesterday’s experiment with edging the Darkness of Light tarot in black.

Because of this, I’ve ordered a “practice deck” to try out trimming (making a deck smaller), as I’m not confident enough to just jump in with that type of more “extreme” modifications without a little practice first. Especially since I have a number of decks that I find discomfort in because they are so large. Or, in a couple of cases, because the border around the artwork is ugly and distracting.

Fortunately, I was able to find two used decks on eBay for $1.99 for both. These are the Blue Messiah Oracle and Cosmos Oracles. Both have cards that are quite large in size and are by the same author with similar artwork. I figure it can give me a good practice to try cutting down their size, and then edging them in color.

If they turn out, of course, I’ll have to give them a really thorough cleansing before using them, but I’m looking forward to their arrival and getting the chance to experiment.

Choosing Paths

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was 15 minutes and 48 seconds, and focused on letting go of things that you cannot change.

You know, like my depression? Or rather, my feelings of guilt over having left you behind and on your own during my depression, and my frustration with having lost time (and the memories of during that time) for over a month.

There’s really no point in holding onto these issues when there’s nothing that I can do about them. Holding onto them just holds me back and brings me down. I think I need to work on letting that frustration and guilt go.

Today’s card is the zero card in the Major Arcana… the Fool.

The Fool represents that place in new beginnings where many paths are laid out before you and you have yet to take your first step. This is a card of new beginnings that are filled with the bounty of possibilities and potential.

Sometimes in new beginnings it’s a good idea to think things out and make the logical choices, but the Fool card is an encouragement to follow one’s heart instead.

For me, following my heart always involves creativity on some level. This type of decision making is not really in my wheelhouse most of the time, because I have a tendency to lean towards logic and thought rather than the heart. (Not to be confused with following your instincts, which I excel at most of the time.) I always seem to view decisions based in the heart as the less responsible choices.

That said, whenever I make decisions with my heart, it seems to always have something to do with my creative endeavors. Whether that’s a new design that I’m working on, or a new idea I want to try out, or even in the directions that we go in within our role play.

So my focus for today, prompted by this card, will be to try and follow my heart more in my decision making, rather than immediately reaching for whatever logical options my head presents.

Cultivating Creation

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds, and focused on doing one thing at a time.

I think that, because I’m tired today, this task really isn’t all that easy. My days are often a blend of multitasking and intense focus. But when I’m tired, sometimes the two get a bit jumbled together.

In meditation it’s important to focus on the moment, and today I had a really hard time staying focused. I think it’s just that I’m tired, though, as most of the intruding thoughts were visual daydream oriented. They weren’t about things I need to do, or projects that need to get done, or any of that. And, even though I was awake, I caught myself just starting to pull in a snore here and there in my breathing.

Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles. This card is all about creation, abundance, and heart in the areas of money, resources, and the physical world.

The dark pit of depression that sucked me in set me behind in many things, especially those related to tending to my business and my creativity, which I greatly intertwined.

This card is an encouragement to pick that creativity back up. It’s time to bring ideas to the surface and bring them forward into the physical world once more.

Before the depression, I had so many ideas and so many projects on the go. I had lots of things to make, quite a few ideas in mid-creation, and all of it ended up on the back burner.

This card is an encouragement to get back into those things I enjoy. It’s time to begin manifesting these ideas and projects that have been sitting on the back burner into reality.

As a sidenote, it’s probably not surprising that this is one of my favorite pieces of artwork in this particular tarot deck. I love the inquisitive yet contented expression on his face. I love the way that he seems so at peace and happy in both his work and his creativity. To me, the artwork is truly an expression of working industriously at doing what you love.

Be the Lamb, Not the Lion

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and eight seconds, And focused on something called the Beginners Mind.

This is the concept of looking at things through fresh eyes instead of through with preconceived notions. It’s about experiencing things as if they are new, and letting that sense of wonder at something new into your heart and mind.

I think this is something that I’ve started to forget to do. Not that I’ve forgotten how, but more that I’ve just forgotten to practice this in my life.

There was a time when I saw a lot of the world this way… but I feel that over time I’ve closed off and forgotten to experience things in this perspective. I think it’s possible that having that shift in perspective has made me a less positive person.

Perhaps it’s time to start consciously practicing Beginners Mind more regularly in an effort to make it a habit once more.

Today’s draw is the page of pentacles. The suit of Pentacles represents money, resources, and the physical plane. The Page represents an omega type of energy, personality, or person.

The page in the suit can also represent one’s focus and dedication towards something of the physical plane. For me, that is stability. Financial stability is one of my lifelong goals, no matter what tax bracket I’m in or how much money I have (or don’t have) in my pocket at any given time.

This card ties into my current worries about monetary issues and the extra spending that I did while I was in that pit of depression. It’s a reminder to be cautious when spending money for a while so that I can catch up.

The card is telling me to be the lamb. Do not be the lion, full of roar and fight and push and shove. Instead, focus on that goal of stability that I’ve built over the years of my life and accept it takes time and dedication. One small hiccup doesn’t change that in the long run.

At the same time, this card also reminds me not to be too hard on myself about those small spending that I did during that time. Stability is a long term goal. It takes patience and a long reach… not a short race.

On My Feet

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes and four seconds, and focused on using external cues as reminders to come back to center in your practice.

For the meditation, they used a chime. Each time the chime went off it was a reminder to bring your mind back to the breath and the relaxation of your body.

This actually worked really well for me. I realize that my mind wanders even more than I had thought it did. The audible cue helped me in catching myself in those thoughts and set them aside more quickly.

Today’s draw is the 13th card in the Major Arcana, the Death card. Although it can, this card rarely represents the death of a person or pet. Instead, it’s more common representation is that of change, as is the case for a number of cards in the tarot.

With the Death card, it’s about an organic change… the kind of change that comes on gradually and has now reached its end. Not only is it about that change specially, but also about the cleansing that accompanies such endings.

This card is telling me that my depression has come to an end. It’s been a long road and a hard climb to get out of that pit I’d fallen into… but I believe I’m there.

I feel this climb coming to an end is especially remarkable considering that I’ve been visiting at my mothers house for the past few days. The house is not usually conducive to positivity and healing where I am concerned.

And yet here I am. Standing outside the pit, with a little niggle of anxiety in my gut, but otherwise back on my feet. That hole in the ground that I fell into and the darkness that tangled me up is now behind me.

It’s time to move forward.

Beltane… continued

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

You have asked me about how this celebration of warmth and vitality applies to me today, and how this holiday helps to start my day off on a positive note.

First and foremost, with the exception of Hallows Eve, this is my absolute favorite holiday. To me, it feels like it is a celebration of life at its most vibrant and vital. New sprouts are reaching, new leaves unfurling. It is in this spirit that I wish to emulate.

I am striving to bring that sense of vibrancy and vitality into my attitude and outlook today, to notice the beauty of it in the fresh air and tender greens starting to opening up to seek the sun.

It is like that saying to “let light into your life”, although in this case it is more about letting spirit of Beltane into my heart and mind.