Choosing Paths

Today’s meditation was 15 minutes and 48 seconds, and focused on letting go of things that you cannot change.

You know, like my depression? Or rather, my feelings of guilt over having left you behind and on your own during my depression, and my frustration with having lost time (and the memories of during that time) for over a month.

There’s really no point in holding onto these issues when there’s nothing that I can do about them. Holding onto them just holds me back and brings me down. I think I need to work on letting that frustration and guilt go.

Today’s card is the zero card in the Major Arcana… the Fool.

The Fool represents that place in new beginnings where many paths are laid out before you and you have yet to take your first step. This is a card of new beginnings that are filled with the bounty of possibilities and potential.

Sometimes in new beginnings it’s a good idea to think things out and make the logical choices, but the Fool card is an encouragement to follow one’s heart instead.

For me, following my heart always involves creativity on some level. This type of decision making is not really in my wheelhouse most of the time, because I have a tendency to lean towards logic and thought rather than the heart. (Not to be confused with following your instincts, which I excel at most of the time.) I always seem to view decisions based in the heart as the less responsible choices.

That said, whenever I make decisions with my heart, it seems to always have something to do with my creative endeavors. Whether that’s a new design that I’m working on, or a new idea I want to try out, or even in the directions that we go in within our role play.

So my focus for today, prompted by this card, will be to try and follow my heart more in my decision making, rather than immediately reaching for whatever logical options my head presents.

One thought on “Choosing Paths

  1. Instead of this…
    “There’s really no point in holding onto these issues when there’s nothing that I can do about them.” , as true as it might be, maybe you need to forgiving yourself for that guilt and frustration. Moving past it, but not with the mindset that there is nothing you can do about it, but with the knowledge that during this time of darkness for you, you gave EVERYTHING that you could spare to making sure you were here for me. That you tried your hardest to support me even when you were in so deep you could barely grasp anything outside yourself. The fact that you pushed yourself to be here, to ask about me, to make sure I was okay, even when you weren’t okay.

    Instead of brushing it off with an…well there’s nothing I can do, remember to give yourself credit for what you DID do. And then move past it with the knowledge that you wish you would have been in a better place when this happened in my life, but that you did the best you could.

    I love you, precious.

    Following your heart? Well I just can’t argue with that, not considering I -own- your heart, I am your heart. Be creative, my love. Let yourself breathe and feel and reach for that talent of yours. Let yourself be inspired.


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