Daily Meditation

Hello Again, My Queen

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on “holding space” for others as a way to support them during times of struggle.  It was about how sometimes, people don’t need you to fix things in their life, they just need you to be there with them.  To share space with them in a quiet way that shows support either by listening, or just by the reassurance of your presence, without “butting in” on their problems.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is a representation of a “feminine” alpha energy in the area of thoughts, reason, instinct, and communication.  The card embodies the tenants of truth seeking, independence, unbiased consideration, and clear communication.

I haven’t seen the Queen of Swords in a couple weeks, and was starting to think perhaps I had managed to somehow unwittingly absorb the message she has been trying so hard to teach me for the past year and a half, but… here she is once more, regal and beautiful and daring me to seek and speak the truth in all things.

During the depression, and during the time a few years ago when we “switched places” for a while, I stumble a bit in being honest with myself.  Not just with the expectations that I put on myself, but even with looking at -how- I’m doing.

I bundle myself up into this little ball of awareness, that is so focused on the day to day that I miss the bigger picture.

This activity on the blog here, my daily meditation (that I am still doing religiously every day), and my recent return to a more active path in my spirituality has, in a lot of ways, opened my eyes and my mind to how much of myself has been closed off, one little bit at a time.

Thank you for taking this journey with me, man.  I love you.

My Cup Runneth Over

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Today’s meditation was eleven minutes and sixteen seconds, and focused on techniques to assist in staying awake during your meditation.  Most of the advice was sound and included ideas like taking a few extra long and deep breaths to ensuring that your posture does not slump.

But, what had me cracking up during meditation wasn’t the topic of the guidance but rather the use of the word “dignified” when she was encouraging getting comfortable and settling into position.  “Lets start by establishing an erect and dignified posture.”

Considering that I regularly do my meditation lying on my back while in a piriformis stretch (it’s a good photo, but I hold the pose for a few minutes at a time rather than a few seconds), an “erect and dignified” posture is the last thing on my mind, instead I’m far more focused on alignment.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is a representation of the “seed and sprout”, new beginnings, and potential in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity.

I am feeling this card today.  I feel good, I feel fresh.  I feel like the potential for positive new things is with me today.   The mindset feels a little strange, mind you, as I am usually a far more grounded person (and more pessimistic person as well), but today feels like an optimistic day.

Maybe this new sense of optimism is something I might start to experience more often?  Its weird but I actually feel, the last couple days, as if I’m pulling out of not just that hole of my depressive episode in the spring, but also getting a breather from the dysthymia as well.   I’m pretty sure that’s something that’s never happened before.  If it is, it’s so far back as to have been lost to my memory.

I love you.

Just sayin’… but I’m really feeling that today too.  Like this whole lightness feeling in the chest when I think about you thing.   I hope you’re having a good day, man.

Go Get’em Cowboy

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on the positives that come from being wrong.  It was a discussion on how it is not in being right that we learn and grow, but in being wrong.  In those moments, we are given an opportunity to learn, and the potential to grow.

Part of the meditation involved counting during the breaths.  A count of four on the breath in, hold for a count of four, then exhale for a count of eight.   I found this practice really helped me in focusing on my breath and sinking into the relaxation of the meditation.

Today’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is a representation of a beta energy, person, or personality in the area of passions, drive, and inspiration.  Beta energy is “go-getter” type of energy, and as such, Knights in the tarot include the energy of action. This energy housed in the Suit of Wands is a indication of motivation, and going after one’s passions with enthusiasm.

It’s Thursday, which is an order prep day, and the Knight of Wands is a reminder to tap into my passion and drive concerning my business, and my enthusiasm and enjoyment in what I do.

The Knight of Wands says to not just trudge forward, but instead bound enthusiastically forward with purpose.

Appreciation of Progress

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twelve seconds, and focused on when we experience intense negative emotions and how to deal with them in a calm, meditative manner.  The practice explored in this guided meditation is Michael Stone’s SAIN.   This is an acronym of guidance to work through the emotion in a mindful way.

Stop and acknowledge that the intense emotion is present.
Allow space for the emotion instead of pushing the emotion away.
Investigate where it shows up physically within our bodies
Non-Identification is the practice of observing the emotion without engaging with it or letting yourself -become- that emotion.

It was an interesting meditation, primarily because I already do this practice, but I’d never heard of Michael Stone or SAIN.  Or, well… sometimes?  I’ve skipped the “Allow” part, I think, though.

Today’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is a representation of tests, trials, challenges, and “harshness” in the area of the emotions, creativity, and relationships.

The appearance of the Five of Cups today is a reminder of where I’ve been.

This is a very fitting message for today, because later today I have my bi-monthly appointment with my shrink. The last time I visited her office I was in the middle of my depression and struggling. She was the inspiration behind these daily draw posts I do here on this blog, which are used to help me in finding perspective and something positive to add to each day.

In fact, during my morning devotional, this is exactly what I asked for during the shuffle before my daily draw… A positive message to carry with me throughout my day and provide perspective.

Today’s positive message is to look at how far I’ve come and how well I am doing, and that it’s important I don’t forget the dark place that I came from or disregard the progress I’ve made.

Together is Better

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and eleven seconds, and took place in the dentist’s chair while waiting for the oral surgeon to come in and check on my progress.  It was surprisingly relaxing, considering where it took place.   And, just sayin’?  Air conditioning is a wonderful thing.

Today’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is a representation of duality, cooperation, and a collaboration in the area of emotions, creativity, and relationships.

The Two of Cup’s appearance today is all about us and the new energy we’re putting into our relationship.  It’s about our opposites joining to create something better.  Something healing and heart warming and good.

I’ve very much been enjoying the extra time we’ve been spending together lately.  It feels good on the inside in those places within myself that I usually disregard or outright ignore.  I’m positive that you feel the same.

Our time together touches on just not the heart, emotions, and relationships, but also has a direct correspondence to how we spend our time.   The writing we do and the play we enjoy together is first and foremost how we foster the deep connection between the two of us, but by the sheer nature of how we spend that time, a creative endeavor as well.

By blending all of these elements together, this is where we are… and it is where we’re at our best and most harmonious.

I love you.

What the Heart Wants

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and six seconds, and focused on stillness and silence.  Specifically, it focused on the restorative power of having a moment of silence.  How this moment can refresh you and help you recover from the cacophony of everyday life. 

The meditation included not so much following the breath, but focusing upon the moment of pause between the inhales and exhales.    I found this practice very relaxing.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is an indication of determination, energy, and strength in the area of emotions, creativity, and relationships.  This is a card of purpose and movement, and as such, it speaks of being lead by the heart to make changes and move away from the things that are not working for you.

The Eight of Cup’s appearance today has spurred me to sit down and look at what isn’t working for me.   I look around and I find myself dissatisfied, but it has taken a good deal of time to realize that the dissatisfaction hinted at inside has to do with the mess I am surrounded in.

Running a business from home is a messy thing, especially running a creative business.  Yes, I know where everything is, but there’s stuff…. everywhere.  Piled on the coffee table, stacked on flat surfaces around the house. It’s become a bit stressful, actually.

I think it’s time to start looking at a new system.  Or perhaps just altering and refining the system I currently have.   Things have gotten a bit out of hand and it’s time to clean up, clear up the chaos, so that my creativity can flow more smoothly.

Within the same theme, yet on a different thread, the Eight of Cups speaks to me in another way as well.    I really enjoyed our time together last night.   The amount of separation lately has been difficult for you, and it’s not working for me either.  I woke up feeling so much better internally this morning, and I could trace that feeling back to you.

I feel I need to move towards finding a better way to manage my time and activities so that we can have some more time together.  I’ve had some false starts and tripped over my feet a few times on this since emerging from my depression this spring.   I am determined to make this change, though.   I miss you.  I miss our time together.  Not that we don’t get time now, but…. it’s not enough.