Author: Twist the Leaf

Accepting Guidance

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I was lazy and slept in late, then relaxed in bed fucking around on my phone instead of getting my ass in gear.

True Heart Intuitive Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  Among other things, this often translates into themes to do with emotional support and advice from a trusted party that is easy to talk to.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is how the Queen holds her cup.  She holds it up like a torch, as if with her steps forward away from the comfort of her throne, that cup might light her way forward.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card drawn today, the message of today’s draw is that sometimes we all need a little extra guidance on our path.  This doesn’t make us less capable or even lacking, it means that we all have more to learn and will do so to get where we need and want to be in life.

DECK USED:  TRUE HEART INTUITIVE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Expansion
Question: How can I (in a healthy way) expand my awareness to be more in touch with others?

Kei Love Tarot

Reading Summary:  Use that skill you’ve honed all your life (Eight of Pentacles) to see things from different perspectives and angles (Hanged Man) and use it to find a more balanced approach (Two of Pentacles) that is less anxiety inducing (Nine of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  You know, I’ve never actually thought about this much before, but there is a fissure of anxiety involved for me when I am interacting with others. This goes beyond “likeability” and and instead deals with a feeling of… unpredictability.  I find people unpredictable. And I struggle with that… a lot.  I struggle with the fact I always feel no matter what I do, people are going to surprise me.  These cards are reminding me that those surprises are not always a bad thing, and I need to look at them as a way to learn more and see things differently so that I can balance out that anxiety with potential value.

DECK USED:  KEI TAROT LOVE

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I best approach setting healthier boundaries in my life?

True Heart Intuitive TarotReading Summary:  Allow more of a collaborative effort (Three of Pentacles) instead of trying to do everything myself (Nine of Pentacles). Your determination to go solo (Nine of Pentacles) is blinding you (Eight of Swords) to the potential of what is possible (Queen of Wands).

Take Away: This is about delegation, and about more evenly distributing my work load with others so that things are more equal and balanced between us.

These boundaries aren’t about others, but about myself and making sure that I’m not overworking myself. It’s about allowing things to spread evenly, and how by spreading the work load evenly, it opens up the potential for new possibilities.

DECK USED:  TRUE HEART INTUITIVE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Confession.  I am writing this the day after… and I don’t remember most of yesterday.  I know I spent time with Gideon in play and I really enjoyed the down time with him.  I know that I slept in.  It’s just… everything else that appears to be missing.

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4364The Invasion

Clouds drop down
to kiss tree tops
and thread
between trunks
caressing the ground
in wet dewy touches
swallowing
giant mountians
rivers and lakes
in an existence
of white confusion
and silence
that will only last
a little while

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Difficulties and Safety

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“If you’re in the states/midwest you’re probably experiencing the lovely winter storm we’re having. If you aren’t, please join us in solidarity with our divination prompt for this week.”

Aves Uncaged Bicycle Playing CardsWhat external circumstances are making my life difficult this week?

Queen of Clubs –  My dedication and drive for the business that I run is being challenged. I have a good deal of experience to work with in this area, and yet I cannot seem to rise above the uncertainty that I’m feeling due to current external circumstances.

How should I stay safe?

Nine of Hearts – Do what feels right in my heart.  I did this earlier in the week with changing the day that I went up to the post office.  I’ve done it, as well, with taking some time off to care for myself as I recover from my depression. This gives me time to practice gratitude for the things in life that bring me contentment and joy rather than staying focused upon those areas that are creating an unhealthy amount of stress.

How should I keep my people safe?

Six of Spades – Give them the room that they need to set themselves to rights, just as I am taking the time I need to set myself to rights.  The ‘time off’ for the business applies to more than just me, and by allowing them to step away from it at the same time I do, it gives them time to decompress and let go of the stress that is riding them as well.

What should I focus on during this time?

Jack of Clubs – Instead of moving forward proactively toward my goals concerning the business, now is a time to step back and allow a bit of distance from that constant push to keep moving forward.  Enjoy the pause instead of pushing for more.  Allow this time to be a time of enjoyment and discovery rather than the slave driver mentality you so often demand of yourself.

DECK USED:  AVES UNCAGED BICYCLE PLAYING CARDS

Coming Back Out On Top

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Today’s meditation was skipped because the girls would just NOT leave me the fuck ALONE today.  I don’t know what it is but there are just some days where they can’t seem to leave me be for even a few minutes. I’m not in the room with them which means I’m missing and alone and they just can’t help but come find me and bug me.  With Luna, this is accepted and she will find somewhere quiet to sit and wait.  The girls? Not so much.

Romantic Tarot and Thera-Pets CardsToday’s draw is the Page of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of slow but steady progress in finding ways to improve one’s financial situation, resources and home life, or health.

I really like this representation of the Page of Coins (Pentacles) as what I see here is someone that is down on their luck but proactively working towards bettering their situation.  This is not an aspect of the Page of Coins that you often see depicted in deck imagery.

When combined with the words on the Thera-Pets card, the message here has to do with resilency and in picking yourself up after you are knocked down.

Lately I’ve been dealing with a pretty deep depressive episode, and it’s been a real struggle.  I found the bottom of that deep, dark pit and I landed there and lingered for about two days.  Then, I have begun to climb once more.  The meaning in these cards is that I’ve survived this before, I know the way forward, and I will climb back out again.  I will heal and recover and move forward.  The climb might be hard, and take time, but I’m strong enough and capable enough to make the journey and come back out on top once more.

DECK USED:  ROMANTIC TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question:  What should I give closure to before February 27th (Full Moon)?

Fifth Spirit Tarot

 Reading Summary: The ups and downs in your life (Wheel of Fortune) are not something to feel victimized by (Justice Rx) so don’t give up the good fight (Seven of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Again we see reference here to the struggle I am going through with my depression, but this also goes beyond that to my worries about my business and the Canadian side of things. It’s important to remember that the situations that we find ourselves in at this moment when the world is turned upside down are not situations against us personally.  They are situations we must deal with and survive, adapt to and work around… but they are not directed at us.

The cards here are a reminder that this is not a time to play victim, but rather a time to stand up and keep fighting for what you believe in, what you want, and what is right for (and important to) you.

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:   Where in my life do I need to set healthier boundaries?

Romantic TarotReading Summary: Know where your bread is buttered (Ten of Cups) and where it’s not (Eight of Cups).  Take that knowledge forward with you to discover (Page of Swords) what really makes life worth living (imagery in the Eight of Coins).

Okay so, I just have to say… the imagery in the Eight of Cups in this deck reminds me of that line in the Semisonic song “Closing Time” that says “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”.

Take Away: This is about choosing wisely where you invest your energy and time.  Instead of pushing to do everything, set better boundaries for yourself that create the opportunity for you to be more discerning.  Invest that time, energy, and talent that you have in those things that bring you comfort and joy.

DECK USED:  ROMANTIC TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Today is the first day of my week off of work.  Not that I’m not still working at the farm, mind you, but I’m not working for the home business for the next handful of days.  I tried to take time off in January, but I think that I was still “coming down” off all the adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine of the whole holiday rush thing and the vacation time just didn’t do as much for me as it otherwise could have.  Not that I didn’t need it then, but… yeah.   So all of the shops are on a shipping delay for the week and I’m taking time off.  I also soaked in the bathtub today.

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4274A Morning Meditation

Chilled stone
numbing resting cheeks
as wet sand
soaks denim knees
while misty mornings
filled with fog
turn desolation
into mystery
and crisp air
stings cheeks
as a train whistle blows
in the distance

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Day-to-Day Divination

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Prompt: “How do you incorporate divination into your day-to-day life?“

Ok so first, I guess that I should point out that, although I know a vast array of divination techniques including pendulums, rune casting, charm casting, stick and stone casting, stichomancy (aka bibliomancy with regular books), tasseomancy, dice casting, etc… my main method of divination is (not surprising anyone here) cards. All kinds of cards, but cards all the same. So when I refer to day-to-day divination, it is with this method I refer to, as the others are just occasional use. So, here we go…

1) For the past two years, I have been doing a COTD mental health exercise. My shrink wanted me to start a “daily affirmation” meditation exercise. But none of the affirmation generators I could find were giving me anything I could relate to or even take seriously. I switched it up to a COTD exercise where I ask for “a positive message to carry with me throughout my day and foster perspective” and whatever card comes out I have to find the positive message in the card for me that day, then meditate on it and journal it. Surprisingly, it has helped immensely in my day-to-day life, and also in climbing back out of the dark pit of depression whenever an MDE sneaks up and swallows me whole.

2) Client readings. It’s nearly a daily thing. So… yeah. Client readings.

3) Writing exercises. I often use cards as prompts and as “flavor” in my writing, whether it’s just little short stories, a poem, or long drawn out interactive storytelling with Gideon.

4) Teaching. I teach tarot, lenormand, and cartomancy. At any time over the past decade (or so) I have sustained between 1 and 6 pupils/mentees depending on my workload and energy levels. Not to mention past pupils and mentees that come back from time to time with questions, thoughts, or just a need to discuss something in order to help them wrap their head around it a bit better.

5) I help run a server that is a tarot focused learning environment on Discord. I occasionally teach classes on the server, and I spend a good deal of time there helping others, answering questions, and just hanging out with others with similar interests.

6) Personal readings. I read for myself daily by doing monthly challenges, and I share those readings here on my blog as well as on the server mentioned above. The purpose of this is three fold, as it allows me to check in on myself, it allows Gideon to check in on me and get an in-depth look at how I’m doing emotionally and otherwise, and it provides examples for that learning server I mentioned for those that want or need to observe how others read the cards and their process in doing so.

Thinks… I think that’s it. It’s probably not, but I think it is.

Oh yeah. Lets not forget about deck shopping. I window shop (and often buy) decks on a pretty regular basis.