The Barrier
Time to slip
beyond the fronds
to dappled shade
and hushed spaces
filled with
moss draped surfaces
and damp earth
take a breath
and let the whispers
of hidden friends
skittering through
underbrush
tempt you deeper
among the trees
Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s orders day and I’m trying that new schedule I mentioned in a previous post.
Today’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally about “evening the scales” of life, repercussions as a result of one’s actions, and themes that have to do with law and the justice system. This is often known as the “backlash” card, whether that backlash is directed at you or somewhere else, and can often come up as a reminder to pay attention to what you’re doing and whether it has the potential for unpleasant consequences.
That last bit above is what I see in today’s card, especially when combined with the Thera-Pets card for today.
Sometimes when we’re feeling low or are having a hard time, it can be really difficult to stick to the demands of our values and moral compass. This is because when we are unable to value ourselves or see the impact we make upon the world around us, it can be difficult to see any value in our moral compass and what it has to say. In the image we see the merman hold his sword high, the blade gleaming brightly in the sunlight. I see this sword as those values, and that gleam of light upon it as our reminder of just how important our values and moral compass is… even when we’re feeling worthless.
The message here is in remembering that we have worth. We -always- have worth, and our values have worth as well. Don’t abandon them when feeling low, but instead seek out those that help you remember that you hold value. By remembering this, and by sticking to our values and moral compass even at our lowest… we avoid dropping the sword into the sea and perhaps accidentally cutting off our tail in the process.
Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: What role does frustration play in my life?
Reading Summary: Frustration makes me act rashly (The Fool), and will compound upon itself (Ten of Wands) until I’m feeling beaten down and on the defensive (Nine of Wands).
Take Away: I think that this is pretty common for everyone. I act at my most rash when I’m frustrated, because frustration creates impatience with myself and the world around me. The problem is that there’s no real cap on this emotion. It builds on itself and builds and builds. Sooner or later it turns into a snarling mess of “leave me the fuck alone”.
#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What qualities do you possess that others value most about you?
Five of Swords – My abilities at survival. This one is something that those closest to me value most. It has to do with continue to keep moving, keep striving, and keep surviving even after serious hurdles and savage setbacks cut me off at the knees. Even then, I continue to survive and thrive.
Eight of Swords – My ability to pull away the blindfold. This is, most often, not an intentional thing or even a conscious one. It involves speaking something that seems simple and mediocre, but ends up extremely profound and eyeopening to someone else. It is how I ended up with Gideon… it is how I have managed to support many people I care about even while struggling with not being particularly skilled socially. Most of the time I don’t even realize I’ve done it unless someone points it out later at some point. I’ve had enough people make a point of letting me know it’s happened, though, to be aware that it is an ability, even if one hidden from my own eyes and awareness in the moment.
Ace of Tridents – My ability to inspire. I’m not a cheerleader… or much of any kind of leader, to be honest. It’s not that sort of inspiration I speak of here. But rather, it’s the ability to inspire people to explore their passions, to seek out what they enjoy and revel in it, and to dive into those things that spark interest and enthusiasm.
I called and made an appointment to talk to my doc over the phone tomorrow about some concerns I need eased before I’ll be ready to get vaccinated.
Deceptive Beauty
Rough and rocky
the water’s cold
gray mixed and choppy
it will numb the toes
yet with such a view
it’s hard to take care
it seems so harmless
when you’re there
I want to dive in
and explore beneath
then slip into the forest
and get lost
among moss and trees
My Third Eye Energy Right Now
King of Cups – If you want full use of your intuition, you need to allow your emotions free reign. They are connected and you know this. Own your emotions and don’t spend time trying to deny them. Get comfortable in their presence instead of shirking away. This card is not so much about where you are now, but about what you need now in this area.
Tension I’m currently holding in this area.
Knight of Coins – You are looking at everything as work and progress. It’s holding you back from experiencing things fully in the moment when you constantly look at everything as another step forward.
How I can release this tension.
Knight of Cups – Spend more time in the now. Enjoy the moment instead of constantly planning and plotting your way forward again and again. More time stopping to smell the roses will connect you more closely to what brings you pleasure and that, in turn, will make your connection to your emotions and intuition stronger.
A message from my intuition.
The Chariot – Stop fucking around. Plotting and planning, scheming and strategizing. You’re doing everything except moving forward because all this extraneous shit is holding you up and holding you back. Snap the reigns and start moving into your growth instead of hedging at it.
Something my dreams are trying to tell me.
Page of Cups – Again, don’t forget that your emotions and your intuition are intimately connected. This reading is filled with Cups for a reason. As you learn and grow in your emotional growth, so too will your intuition grow.
Something about my psychic abilities I should explore.
Nine of Cups – Don’t worry about it right now. As noted above, as you learn and grow through your emotional growth, so too will your intuition grow. This is a natural evolution. You’ve spent a long time developing your intuition and your trust in it. Allow it to strengthen and appreciate what it adds to your life. Gratitude… not grasping.
Today’s meditation was skipped because people are rude as fuck. ‘Nuff said.
Today’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of worries, anxieties, insomnia, and nightmares. It indicates the issues that come from the mind’s nagging negative tendencies.
One of my biggest and most significant personal struggles in my life is the “not enough” theme of inner narrative. Directed only at myself and my own performance, this narrative tells me that anything I ever do could have been better if I’d just invested more into it. In that vein, nothing I do is ever enough, and thus I am never enough.
This is my own personal inner demon. Perhaps others can relate. When I see today’s card combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, I see a reminder that that inner narrative, that demon that haunts me, is a lie. Not everything has to be perfect. What matters is you’re trying and the effort and intent put in, not how “perfect” or “imperfect” the end result might be.
Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with worry?
Reading Summary: Use logic to stand strong (King of Swords) and fight back against the invasion (Seven of Wands). Don’t allow it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy (Ten of Swords).
Take Away: Worry and anxiety are often illogical in nature. They creep in and whisper all these different things in our mind that could go wrong or could happen. But none of these things are based in reality, and none of them are set in stone. The future is fluid and even those able to predict the future can’t do so with 100% accuracy, as every little thing in life transforms and changes the trajectory of our path and that of other’s paths as well. That means the unexpected can and will happen… and that predicted future will adjust and change as a result.
The thing is, though? If you continue to constantly worry about something, it’s much like when you stare at something while driving. As you stare at that something, you unconsciously steer towards it. This is why so many learning drivers end up in ditches or bumping against cement barriers and curbs. They’re so focused on not hitting the thing… that they hit the thing. This too happens with worry and anxiety. We become so focused upon whatever we’re worried about that we bring it into existence through our focus.
Therefore the answer is that to better cope with worry, remind yourself of these things. Remind yourself of what that focus can do, and how illogical it is what you’re worrying about really is.
#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is happiness?
Knight of Wands: Happiness is not a set and stagnant thing. Instead it is different for everyone. For some it is having something to work and strive for that sparks their inner passion and drive.
The Fool: For others, it is abandon and freedom that at times backfires, but always creates a sense of adventure to any situation.
Four of Swords atop Five of Swords: For still others it’s about peace and balance, and knowing when to stand your ground, and when it’s better to yield the field to others.
Take Away: The common denominator between all three of these themes is one of positive energy. Positive energy creates happiness, no matter which scenario it is applied to or what preferences individuals have towards what their own personal happiness entails. Happiness is positive energy.
I took the time to use my ice pack today in conjunction with an ibuprofen to help ease the raging anger and inflammation in my back.
The Secret Squishy
Prickly edges
jut out
in angular patterns
with insides jagged
and not inviting
yet you reach anyway
and discover
what appears sharp
is soft as rose petals
and feathered down
while soul’s arid ache
waits
for the kiss of dew drops
