The Drowning
Big hands
calloused and strong
tug on mine
to pull me
under the surface
and drag me down
into the swirling
abyss
of the drown
as you fill me up
with your possession
your pride
and your insatiable
hunger
for more
Month: April 2022
A Reflective Pause
Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was another of the #dailycalm sessions from the Calm app.
The topic of today’s meditation was about how we treat those closest to us, and how it’s natural for them to see out worst, but that through gratitude and appreciation we can help mediate showing our worst to them too often.
Today’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is traditionally a representation of taking a pause, considering alternate perspectives, relaxing into difficult situations, surrender or letting go.
I find that, with this particular deck, the little commentary on each card actually shifts the perspective of the card’s meaning a bit. With this one, what I see is a bit of peace… but only after a frustrated moment of stagnancy.
A forced pause instead of one that is chosen. Yes, the peace still comes, as it’s there in the hint of a mandala in the background of the imagery… but you have to get out that little curse of frustration first in order to find it.
Today’s card is an encouragement to look beyond your initial reaction to what feels like an untenable situation, and see the boon. Find the peaceful moment in what could be a moment of frustration and chaos.
DECK USED: BAD A** BABY UNICORNS TAROT
Mr Lionharts’ #TheAprilTarot Animal Guide Challenge Prompt
Questions for The Magician – Day 4
What am I invited to create for myself right now?
Kindness and Reward – You know that old adage that says certain behaviors are their own reward? That’s what we see here. “Kindness is its own reward.”
Being kind to others is easy for you, but in these cards you are invited (and encouraged) to turn that kindness inward and be kinder to yourself.
The Magician is a reminder that you have all the tools, abilities, and skills needed to make this happen, you’ve only need to be open to actually moving in that direction.
What can help me grow within this creative endeavor?
Self Esteem and Future – Stay in touch with who you are and who you want to become as you move forward. As cruel as you sometimes are to yourself, on the whole you like who you are. This surety of self allows you to move forward with confidence.
DECK USED: GENTLE WISDOM OF THE FAIRIE REALMS ORACLE AND BAD A** BABY UNICORNS TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Topic for April 3rd: Do Spread #1
Focus on a relationship that’s important to you, whether that relationship be a friendship, a family member, or a loved one.
What does this loved one need less of from you?
King of Wands – Bluster and bravado. Pride. Plowing forward toward one’s goals while ignoring issues and problems that need your attention. You do a lot of that disassociation with issues along the way when you’re in depression, but in this case you might have just trampled on J’s toes in the process.
What does this loved one need more of from you?
Ace of Cups – An open and honest expression of feelings, both good and bad. It’s important to make sure he knows how you feel, and that you’re willing to let him get out his own feelings as well with a sense of safety in doing so. Help him feel comfortable expressing what’s going on so that you both are on the same page.
What in this relationship is being entirely neglected?
Judgement atop Five of Wands – There was a conflict in principles that needs to be addressed and dealt with. Friends don’t always agree on everything, and butt heads occasionally regardless of how well they might agree usually. In this case, both are making judgements and assumptions instead of opening up and sorting out the issue.
Take Away: It looks like J and I need to sit down and hash out some differences in an honest and heartfelt discussion.
DECK USED: BAD A** BABY UNICORNS TAROT
Gideon time. God yeah… ’nuff said.
Gideon’s Challenge
Intimacy
Eagerness reigns
as I feel the urge
to shed my skin
and bare my soul
to your touch
and the rough graze
of whiskers
against places
that go far deeper
than the flesh
as inhibitions
fall away
so that all that’s left
is eager hands
and the bite of need
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
❤️ Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Four of Pentacles and Inspiration – Seek inspiration from what you already have instead of from outside influences. It doesn’t always have to be about more, ever more. Sometimes it’s about what we already have and what those things mean to us. Sometimes, exploring your gratitude can provide just as much inspiration (or even more) than what you don’t.
Air – The Magician and Attachment – You have everything you need to defeat your inner demons, but you need to be willing to let go of them in order to defeat them. Stop clinging to what is holding you back. Whether that’s lingering in the comfortable embrace of stagnancy, or being permissive with yourself about thoughts and ideals that aren’t serving your purpose and the trajectory you want to move in.
Water – Queen of Cups and Protection – Nurture and protect your emotions right now. They are tender like the smallest of spring shoots, and they need some TLC this week as they begin to emerge from hiding.
Fire – The Hierophant and Transform – As you emerge from depression’s pit, make sure you are moving back into your true self and not in some new and different direction. This time of transition is one of those times when massive shifts in trajectory can happen if there isn’t enough support for the growth you want to take place.
Waning – Scythe and Snake – As mentioned in the Air position in this reading, it’s time to let go of those bad habits and decisions you’ve been making that are holding you back and harming your progress as you climb out of the pit. Don’t allow self-sabotage to take hold and make a mess out of things.
Waxing – Heart and Fox – Strategize your way forward. Your emotions are tender and raw, and you need to make sure as you move forward into this week that you are protecting them while also giving yourself the momentum you need to keep climbing and keep moving.
Take Away – More guidance on the climb and again, I am being called out on the things I’m doing that are holding me back from making the amount of progress I could be making if I weren’t doing these things. There’s an encouragement here to slow down on spending and hold back on purchases this week, as well as to train my attention on what I can do and enjoy that is already a part of my life.
DECKS USED: THE HOUSEPLANT TAROT, THE ENERGY ARCHAEOLOGY ORACLE, CATS LENORMAND
Instilling Fun
Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the guided #dailycalm meditations from the Calm app. The topic of today’s meditation was patience. Specifically, patience with oneself when meditating.
It can be hard to stay focused during meditation. The brain likes to wander. In today’s meditation, we are encouraged to understand that meditation is a practice… as in you are practicing. As in “practice makes perfect”, which means perfect isn’t in the now but something we reach for. In meditation, perfection is not expected or required.
Today’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of success, optimism, positivity, fun and frivolity. In my path, the Sun is also a symbol of male vitality, virility, and warmth.
This card’s imagery is all about fun, and the message today is a simple one. Have fun. It’s your day off.
I’m planning on doing just that. In fact, I have plans to go flower and herb shopping later today to pick up the first round of annuals to add to my balcony garden.
I used to grow my annuals and herbs from seed, but now that I’m running the home business and there’s so much to do, it’s just easier to go to the nursery and pick up what I want. I’m suspecting I should be able to pick up a good bit of what I need this round, and then the rest of it perhaps by the end of the month depending on the weather.
DECK USED: THE LITTLE BUDDHA TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsApr2022 Challenge Prompt
Questions for April 1st and 2nd
What is the most valuable thing you can do for yourself this month?
The Emperor and Earth Elemental – Use grounding and gratitude to help you take back control of your life. The depression has held you in its grip long enough. Seize upon the opportunity to use your connection with the earth and nature to help pull you back out and onto solid footing.
What is the most valuable thing you can do for others this month?
Hierophant and Insight – Lend your knowledge, experience, and expertise to their goals and endeavors. You have a lot to offer and people appreciate and enjoy when you share far more than you realize.
What is the most valuable thing you can be open to others doing for you this month?
Eight of Wands and The Gift – Motivation. Others have the ability to draw you in and lift you up. It might niggle at you independent streak to let them do so, but it is a valuable gift you shouldn’t take for granted.
DECK USED: WINGED SPIRIT TAROT, ORACLE OF THE HIDDEN WORLD, CONSCIOUS SPIRIT ORACLE
The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Questions for April 1st and 2nd
When feeling foolish, how can I find my confidence?
Ten of Pentacles and King of Swords – Foolishness is the first step to accomplishment. Look at all you have accomplished with a cool and logical mind, and take time to appreciate all that you have already done as well as how you got there. The strategy of success (especially in areas of innovation) requires that if you want to succeed, you must first look foolish.
What do I know about myself for sure?
Nine of Wands and Ace of Pentacles – You like to keep new ideas close to the vest until you’ve had time to implement them. Too many times you’ve been screwed over by people stealing your ideas. It comes off as secretive to some, but in truth you are just protecting what is has the potential to be important to you.
DECK USED: THE LITTLE BUDDHA TAROT
I expressed what I need to Gideon. That’s often not the easiest thing for me when we’re in the middle of intimacy and I’m feeling small.
Gideon’s Challenge
Flower Shopping
Spring has sprung
and flowers kiss
the senses with
scents of damp earth
and vibrant color
and I am eager
ready
for the sweep of
sweet and wild
energies to flow
through the air
and kiss
petals and leaves
like raindrops do
Twisting the Leaf 