Month: November 2020

Taking A Pause

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Today’s meditation was another of the musical immersion efforts involving my synesthesia, and I just don’t think it’s going to work out.  For the second time I ended up dozing off during the process, and I have a feeling that if I am using music that creates pleasurable responses, that will continue to be the case.  I’ll have to switch back to another method tomorrow.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The LoversToday’s draw is the Lovers card, which is traditionally a representation of not just love, romance, and marriage as it is often interpreted by many, but also about choices and making positive choices that are good for you. This choices interpretation leans into the Marseilles tarot meanings, but I find it applies far more often to the Lovers card when the card pops up for me in readings than the love and relationship aspect.

What stands out to me the strongest in this photo is not one specific element so much as the overall atmosphere of the image. I see gentle warmth and tenderness that speaks of a heart connection, and a hint of wistfulness that speaks to me of nostalgia and daydreams.

The message here in today’s card is that sometimes it’s okay to pause and take a moment, to give yourself a moment to “smell the roses” and allow yourself to consider what influences your decisions and the way forward from this moment rather than leaping ahead recklessly or thoughtlessly.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: How can I {further} focus on the good that surrounds me, or the good that is within?

Elemental Tarot

How can I further my focus on the good that surrounds me?
Seven of Swords atop Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles

Don’t allow the ass hats and betrayals of the world to close your eyes to the generosity and positivity that is out there.   Sometimes, especially when wounds are fresh, it can be hard to not turn away from people and tempting to turn into yourself in order to protect yourself from further pain.  By closing your eyes to the warmth and care others can provide, though, you do yourself more harm than good.

How can I further my focus on the good that is within me?
Nine of Pentacles, Four of Chalices atop Eight of Pentacles Rx

Practice gratitude for what you have, and don’t work yourself so hard that you forget to rest and meditate.  Without rest and restoration, you can’t focus on anything, let alone delve into appreciation for what’s good within yourself.   In order to find this focus you need rest, and you need to appreciate your accomplishments and what you’ve done well.  These practices allow you to feel a sense of pride and foster a bit more kindness for yourself.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Greatest Strength / Greatest Weakness / Finding Balance

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market VersionGreatest Strength – Four of Pentacles atop Wheel of Fortune – Finding stability in the chaos is one of your greatest strengths. This isn’t to say that the chaos does not affect you, but rather that you are able to ground your feet and stay centered far better than most would expect.

Greatest Weakness – King of Rods – Your excessive amount of creative spark and drive can cause a bit of a problem.  You repeatedly fool yourself into believing you have more “shoulder space” for responsibility than you actually do, and thus as that sense of creative spark and drive push you forward, you repeatedly overburden yourself trying to take on too much.

Finding Balance – Knight of Elixirs – Pick and choose the projects and responsibilities that truly speak to your heart, instead of just triggering the inspirational spark within you.  Inspiration is all well and good, but you need to involve more than that in your decision making in order to cut down on the things that you take on.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT – MASS MARKET VERSION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the best piece of advice I have ever received?

Delos Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to look after yourself before others (Six of Pentacles) in order to build a secure (Four of Pentacles) and stable (Two of Pentacles) future.

Take Away:  Not the advice that I personally would’ve chosen as the best piece of advice I’ve ever received… and yet it is a really good one. When I was young I wanted to save the world from unfairness. If I had not been given the advice to take care of myself first prior to helping others and taken that advice to heart, I’d still be living in the backseat of an old Buick with no tires in a dark Seattle alleyway. Okay… so probably not the Buick specifically, but close enough.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_3479Favorite Colors

From fields
to forests
my favorite
colors
flow across
each landscape
I see
Blues and greens
blending
in different
shades
in a diversity
of peaceful beauty.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Self Gratitude

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Edgar Allan Poe Playing Cards - Gratitude Tarot Spread

How can I practice self-gratitude for my mind?

Seven of Clubs – Grace and music, rhythm and measure.  Harmony within passionate pursuits. Treat yourself to some quiet time with the music you love to experience on more than just an audible level. You have a variety of synesthesia chosen playlists to choose from to take your listening of music to a new level, maybe it’s time to consider using them for more than just listening, but meditation as well.

How can I practice self-gratitude for my heart?

Two of Diamonds – Don’t forget about balance.  Don’t leave it behind and believe you can ignore the need for it just to pick it back up once the holiday rush is over. Delving into the holiday rush and finding what pleasure you can in the whirlwind doesn’t mean abandoning moderation and measure, nor that you don’t have to still find some kind of balance along the way.

How can I practice self-gratitude for my soul?

Six of Diamonds – Self deception is not generosity or being kind to yourself.  Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is only through truth that you find what you need.  Be kind to yourself, but also be honest with yourself.  In doing this you both honor your soul as well as practice self-gratitude through the respect you give yourself and the moral compass that directs your feet along your path.

DECK USED: EDGAR ALLAN POE PLAYING CARDS

The Choking Point

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Today’s meditation was a try at the musical immersion meditation involving my synesthesia, which started off all well and good… until I fell asleep.   I’ll try again tomorrow.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ten of WandsToday’s draw is the Ten of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of overwhelm, overburdening, and other themes to do with either taking on too much or having too much thrust upon you.

What stands out to me the strongest in this imagery is first, the sprouting leaves at the top of each of the wands she carries.   And second?  Her rather ineffective way of handling the five wands. This second point is something that often sticks out to me in the imagery on the Ten of Wands, because seriously?  The more organized you go about doing things, the more things you can manage at one time, and that definitely also applies to carrying a bunch of sticks.

That said (because that’s not the message of today, just my own Type A neurosis poking its head out), the leaves are the real message in today’s card.  Each staff is sprouting new growth, and they are very clustered together.  Just like when you plant seeds too close to each other, this means as plants grow from these seeds, they are then put in a competitive situation and will strangle each other out, killing each other off for the resources that they need.

So too is how responsibilities and projects go.  You can only juggle so much before these things begin competing for the attention and resources needed to continue to thrive.

Make sure you are giving those things you put your focus and drive towards have the attention they need to thrive, and the room they need to grow.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Jupiter Question: A reminder of something I can be grateful of/for, or something that could greatly help me right now.

The Sabbath Tarot

A Reminder of Something I Can Be Grateful For
Warden of Disks, Two of Swords atop Nine of Cups

I can be grateful for the fact that multitasking is possible. It’s okay to continue to go after my practical goals, even as I make choices that foster my emotional growth.  It’s okay to be both driven and content at the same time.  As opposing as the two things may seem, they are not mutually exclusive and there is no need to choose one or the other.

A Reminder of Something That Could Greatly Help Me Right Now
Five of Staves atop Ten of Cups, The Demiurge

Although it’s okay and possible to have both.  Don’t forget that sometimes you may have to fight harder for one or the other.  Right now, while you strive for that practical advancement, you also need to make sure you are fighting for the right of your emotions to still thrive.  One is a focus… the other is a fight.  Both are needed for the path forward and the Demiurge encourages you to make sure even as the balance may dip one way or another that you keep both in mind moving forward so that neither is lost in the weeds.

Take Away:  You know what you want and you have the drive to get there, just don’t lose sight of what is important along the way.

DECK USED:  THE SABBATH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Do you live to eat, or eat to live?

Emerging from Darkness TarotReading Summary: Here we have emotional contentment (Ten of Cups), emotional connections to the past which in this case are positive (Six of Cups), and emotional celebration with those close to your heart (Three of Cups).  The cards are all about emotions and pleasure in the past, the present as well as the future.

Take Away: So, let’s be clear. My addictive personality makes it glaringly obvious that I live to eat. My brain is hard wired to latch on to pleasurable experiences and ride them into the ground. Add on to this the fact that I’m also an emotional eater, and if I didn’t have a metabolism that required me to consume a minimum of 6000 calories a day? I’d be as big as a house.

The cards here play this out beautifully, for it is through pleasure that I find my addictions, and many of those addictions are rooted in a need to self soothe or find an emotional balm of some sort.  I understand the psychology of it.  And honestly?  If food didn’t taste good?  I wouldn’t eat.

DECK USED:  EMERGING FROM DARKNESS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in my life am I holding too tightly?

Golden Tarot by Kat Black

Reading Summary: My tendency (The Devil) to want to control every little thing (The Magician) is obstructing my path rather than facilitating my journey (Three of Wands Rx).

Take Away: That’s a really big thing to try and loosen my grip on.  *Chuckles*  Okay so I get it.  I get how holding on too tight can be smothering and even crushing.  I’m just not sure if I’m capable of loosening that grip, to be honest.  That need to be in control is pretty overpowering.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT BY KAT BLACK

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is my role in my family?

Bosch Tarot

Reading Summary: To take uncertainty (The Moon) and turn it into something we can excel at together (Eight of Pentacles), which in others then fosters a feelings (Ace of Cups) of contentment (Nine of Cups) and feelings of safety and security (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that I am the glue that helps hold us all together and inspires us to work together.  That then creates a feeling of community and comfort for everyone, bonding us together to create a home that feels both safe and satisfying.

DECK USED:  BOSCH TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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Beautiful Distraction

Even feeling
leathery
and worn
soul in knots
and feeling torn
you bring a blush
to my cheeks
You can kiss
me breathless
with just a beat
and the world
falls away until
there’s only you.

I want to stay there forever.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Squishy On The Inside

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Today’s meditation was skipped this morning because the girls wouldn’t leave me alone.  They were driving me nuts. Even when I asked them to leave me alone for a bit, they couldn’t seem to resist being distracted. So yeah… I’ll do it tonight before I go to bed.

Tarot of the Little Prince - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of leadership and authority, structure and stability, as well as themes that have to do with “the establishment” and a classic “father figure” type of energy.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the sleeping prince in the throne while the Emperor sits on a rock watching over him and entertaining the fox.

What I see here in this imagery is protection and care.  What I see here in this picture is the love that someone can have for those that seek out their help.  The love of a caregiver that carries many, many responsibilities.

The message here is that even those that are too busy or seem formidable sometimes have the kindest hearts, and only need the right opportunity to allow that kindness to shine through. Don’t be fearful of these people, for they are human too.  Maybe you won’t get the chance to see that soft kindness that resides within their hearts, but never doubt that it’s there waiting for the right moment to break free.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Uranus Question: How can I use the energy of Capricorn in Uranus in my chart to help me discover and learn new things?

Tarots Egyptiens

Reading Summary: Keep in mind how long things will take (Seven of Coins) to get done when plotting and planning (Two of Wands) for your hearts desires (Nine of Cups), and that you will reap what you’ve sown along the way (Judgement).

Take Away:  It’s not about the end goal, but about the journey and what you do to get there along the way. No matter what I’m learning, it’s important to remember that everything takes time and those things that take the longest to learn are often the ones that are the most awarding in the end.

DECK USED:  TAROTS EGYPTIENS ANIMA ANTIQUA

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Let Go / Find Support / Dig Deeper

ICER Intuitive Art TarotLet Go – Eight of Fire – Slow down. Being constantly leaning full tilt into what you’re focused on is exhausting. Make sure you are taking breaks and breathers.  Make sure you are taking time for yourself, and that means not just physically but also mentally.  Meditation and forest walks are only going to help if you let yourself release that desperate need to push and push and do more and more.  Let it go and take a breath.

Find Support – Wheel of Fortune – Get help with the chaos. At this time of year things are moving so fast that it can be hard to find your center and keep your balance. Instead of standing at the center of the wheel while the  thing spins around you, you are standing at the edge and the centrifugal force is trying to knock you on your ass.  You have others in your life willing to help you stay on you feet… reach for the help they’re offering.

Dig Deeper – The World – There’s more to life than work. Don’t forget to look up and look around, and ultimately remember where you are going and the path you have chosen beyond the work you do each day.  There is more to life than work.  Your path and your growth are important too.

DECK USED:  ICER INTUITIVE ART TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do people most often misunderstand me?

Edgar Allan Poe Tarot

Reading Summary: When I’m trying to help others (Six of Pentacles), but I’m too emotionally invested (Queen of Cups Rx) and/or I’m doing it for the wrong reasons (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  When trying to help others, it can be frustrating when they won’t listen, willfully only hear what they want to hear, or refuse to accept the help being offered. There are times, if I am emotionally invested in helping them, that this can turn into a tug of war as I try harder to make myself clear and they try harder to remain oblivious (or obtuse).   In these times, my emotional investment is working against me and creating disappointment and struggle, which in turn creates even more misunderstanding as my motives then come into question.

DECK USED:  EDGAR ALLAN POE TAROT