Month: May 2019

Intellectual Inspiration

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Today’s meditation was eleven minutes and twenty two seconds, and focused on worry and discerning the differences between productive worry, and non-productive worry.  It also outlined the “pause and take a breath” method of centering yourself when your worries try to run away with you.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Swords. This card is a representation of potential and the seed of new beginnings in the areas of thought, logic, and communication.

The appearance of the Ace of Swords in today’s draw is an encouragement for me too do the studying and research needed to finish catching up on my tarot journal.

Starting my journal late in the year created a couple of hurdles I wasn’t expecting to come across. I managed to get quite a bit done with putting the journal together and the visual side of things, but then I stalled out when it came to filling in the pages with my writing.

This card is telling me that today is a good day to “fresh start” the intellectual part of this process.

[Update from later in the day, since I did my meditation this evening instead of in the morning. I spent a good chunk of my day working on my journal.  I changed a few of the organizational factors and did a good deal of research for my writing.  I then sat down and got some writing done and I am now about 3/4 of the way through catching things up.  If I can find some time to dedicate to it tomorrow I might be able to get it completely caught up.

Be Fierce

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty two seconds, and focused on a body scan where you start at the top of the head and slowly shift your focus lower until you end at the toes.  The focus is on your breath and relaxing each body part as your focus transitions to it.

Today’s draw is the Ten of Swords, which is a representation of completion and endings of a possibly painful sort.  It is also the representation of that moment just after the storm ends.  It is the chaos at the peak of the tornado, and the abrupt silence that immediately follows. Swords, of course, also always deal with the areas of thoughts, logic, and communication.

From a purely intuitive aspect of drawing this card, as this card’s imagery very much speaks to my intuitive side rather than my logical one.  Intuitively, it appears that my day might be filled with some difficulties, that I should be strong and fierce in my thoughts and words in order to bring things in hand and make sure they go my way in the end.

This card’s appearance tells me that I will need to be the voice that says “STOP.  This is DONE.” Sometimes, there is a need to be the one to take control and call halt to the chaos.

I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed, and the Ten of Swords is speaking loud and clear to let me know it’s time to finish with that and get my ass back on track once and for all.  That is the message…  Be strong and end the chaos.

Warm Fuzzies and Tears of Gratitude

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, And focused on one sense of space.

This is something that’s very familiar to me, and I have always excelled at. Essentially the guided meditation walks you through first sensing your personal space around you (that bubble of space around you) and then expanding your awareness of space outward to the room at large, and then beyond that to the earth and sky and surroundings.

It’s not about what’s going on in that space that’s the focus, but rather sensing that the space is there and being aware of it. Sinking into it, so to speak.

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups… again. The suit of cups is the water suit, which deals with the emotions, relationships, and creativity. The ninth position in this suit represents fruition, contentment, gratitude, and sometimes the consequences that come with the end of a journey.

I believe that this is a direct reflection of yesterday. This card is a reminder to look back on yesterday and remember that it can happen again (because yesterday was a really good day).

I really enjoyed our time together, and like the day that I took to reconnect with my spirituality and do some creativity, yesterday put a balm on the ragged edges of my heart left raw by the depression.

I also want to say, and this ties into the contentment part of the Nine if Cups as well, that it feels really good to have you be a part of and accept this piece of me and my life. The fact that you are now a part of my spirituality in some small way has created an interesting sense of fulfillment to it. As if throughout these 11 years we’ve been together I’ve kept something apart from you, but now that part of my life is a little bit fuller and warmer with you involved.

(And… I’ve gotten a bit weepy in writing this for some reason.)

I didn’t expect this when I decided to include you in this journaling activity. I didn’t expect it when I change this activity from a daily affirmation to a daily draw. And yet it feels so good to have you now tied in to this part of my life.

Thank you.

The Truth Seeker

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and forty seconds, and focused on gratitude.

The meditation was a discussion on how it is important to be grateful for what you have so that you’re not always feeling a sense of dissatisfaction in the present. There are always things to be grateful for in your life, whether it’s the big things like stability and love, or the little things like a cool breeze, toilet paper, or a glass of water.

Sometimes it’s important to sit back and contemplate on just how lucky you are, and be grateful for those things you have, rather than always focusing on what’s ahead and striving for more.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is a strong (alpha) “feminine” energy, personality, or person in the areas of thought, communication, and logic.

The Queen of Swords has a very independent strength with a leaning toward truth and authenticity.

It is a “cut through the bullshit” card, and when I saw it today it reminded me of an incident yesterday at the gas station.

There was a man at the gas station while I was there that was begging for gas. He had a gas can and he was going around to the people both in the store and out at the pumps saying that he’d forgotten his wallet at home and asking if they could spare a gallon of gas so he could get home to grab his wallet.

I was actually going to give him a couple of bucks when I saw him asking someone on the other side of the pump for a gallon of gas and being turned down. But when the guy across from me at the pump refused him, he turned around and was extremely rude, cursing at the man with a “F you anyway, you effing jerk” among other abusive language of curses.

In that moment I decided that whether or not he was desperate for the gallon or so of gas that he was requesting… he didn’t deserve it.

If he was so very desperate for gas, I do not think he would’ve acted in that way. Yes, I was turned off by the rudeness of his actions. But, in truth, it was as if he showed his true colors, and those true colors indicated that he didn’t really need the gas enough to be courteous and polite.

If he was truly desperate, he wouldn’t have acted in a way that would cast him in such a bad light so that all could then see he is undeserving of what he’s asking for.

It was a scam. He was scamming people. It’s a simple as that.

The Queen of Swords is telling me that this type of inner reflection and search for authenticity is important. It’s important to look at things and see the truth beneath, instead of just whatever is on the surface and presented for you to see.

Sometimes that means waiting and watching for a while just to get the full picture.

Encouragement In the Face of Imbalance

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty three seconds, and focused on the natural breath.

Most of the time when I meditate, I do yogic breathing. This means that my breaths are rhythmic and deep, with a full inhale to completely fill the lungs, then a full exhale until the lungs are empty before then repeating the process.

Today’s meditation was to focus on your natural breath, which I found oddly difficult to do. When I allow myself to breathe naturally without control, I find that my breathing is not particularly even, or very deep. And, like the observation effect in physics, it feels as if just by observing the natural breath (even as a passive observer), that the observation results in change.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which represents is a strong “feminine” energy, personality, or person that is both nurturing and practical in the areas of the physical world, money, and resources.

A lot of the times when I see a Queen card within a daily draw, it is a sign of praise for something that is happening or that I have accomplished. This is, of course, a very limited view and I believe that it is especially lacking in regard to today’s draw.

The appearance of the Queen of Pentacles today is telling me that, rather than having found a balance between work and home, it is something that I still need to work on.

I agree with that message, as I feel that I have had very little time with you lately. I’ve been so focused on trying to get back on track after the depression that had weighed me down for so long, and As a result I have been neglectful of you and your needs… and myself and my own needs where you are concerned.

The Queen of Pentacles presence in today’s draw tells me that I need to pay more attention to finding that balance that gives me the time and energy to work on my goals financially and otherwise, but also to spend time with you and nurture that “home” aspect of my life as well.

The Nest

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty eight seconds, and focused on how people have a natural tendency to get stuck in their comfort zone and become resistant to trying new things.

I think that this is true for just about everybody, and there’s a reason that most people struggle with change. Myself included. The meditation was guided in encouraging the listener to open up to change now and then, rather than staying stagnant in one’s comfort zone all the time.

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is an representation of contentment, fruition, gratitude, and sometimes culmination and resulting consequences in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity.

The appearance of the Nine of Cups today is a reminder to be grateful for what you have now. With so much pushing and shoving forward in my drive to get things done, stay on track, and get ahead… Sometimes I forget that what I have right now is really pretty damn good.

Today, this card is a reminder to take some time to be content and what you have and be grateful for it, rather than always striving for more.