Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 26 seconds, and focused on fostering patients and acceptance while tending to your chosen path. It discussed the importance of checking in with yourself regularly along the paths that you’ve chosen to take in life, in order to tend to your needs and ensure healthy growth.
Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which appears to be the lingering stalker card that followed me out of 2018 and into 2019. I see her often, not just in my daily draws, but also in my spreads, and even my random pulls when in the process of studying different decks. When I slip in the middle of a shuffle? She is the card that falls out of the deck to land face up on the table.
The Queen of Swords is a matriarchal-type authority figure, personality, or energy in the areas of thoughts, logic, communication, and intuition. She represents independence and truth, with a receptivity that indicates a seeking of (and discerning of) truth through a willingness to entertain the influence of added perspectives and a wider view that will then allow for cutting through the bullshit.
I have a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty when it comes to my skills of communication. Not just face to face, but just in general. Whether it’s in person or online, I seem to have an excessive amount of instances where things I say are taken the “wrong way” or twisted to mean something they did not.
Because of this, I’ve hurt people. I’ve been attacked by people. I’ve lost friends and made enemies. It happens, but it seems to -always- be because of my communication skills. And, over the years, I’ve withdrawn more and more over time from communicating with others. When I -do- communicate, it’s careful. It’s…. ugh, it’s like adding a bunch of fluff to the outside of a ball to make it softer for the other person’s hands to catch? I hope that made sense.
The repeated appearance of the Queen of Swords is telling me to knock it off. Cut the fluff and be the blunt communicator that I’ve always been. Those that know me know I’m not attacking them, just being blunt and to the point. What does it really matter what others think as long as I can communicate and be myself with the ones I care about?