Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Tarot of Mystical Moments, Oracle of Mystical Moments, Crystal Ball Oracle, Witch's Familiars Rune Oracle

EarthSix of Swords, Get More Information, Jera – As yesterday’s personal readings have indicated, I need to be looking forward with an attitude of adjustment and change.  Falling back into old, unhealthy habits is easy.  Keeping your eye on the prize of moving forward into something better and healthier?  That takes more diligence, more work… and patience as well.  You’re doing better today than yesterday, you’re doing better this week than the last, and you’re doing better this year than last year.  Make sure to do your due diligence when it comes to educating yourself on what you need to know, and keep moving forward one small step at a time.

AirKing of Pentacles, Unlikely, Laguz – Make sure that you do not become so rooted that it becomes impossible to go with the flow.  Knowing what you know and being confident in that knowledge is one thing, but becoming stubborn and stagnant and unwilling to adapt and continue to grow is another all together.  It can, at times, be a fine line between the two and although it is not in your nature to lean into stagnancy, that stillness of rooting deeply is tempting and appears peaceful.  It’s not… it’s unhealthy.  Make sure you keep moving.

WaterQueen of Pentacles, Choose a New Direction, Berkano – As with the earth position in this reading, here we again see an encouragement to tread a new path, break old habits, and step forward into a better and healthier way of doing things.  Share more, allow yourself to be receptive and soft.  You don’t need all those shields and walls.  They are a carry over from a long time ago when you did need them, and you need to stop maintaining them and let them crumble to ruin.

FireSeven of Wands, Yes, Thurisaz – Well, okay then.  Here we have the cards openly saying “Grow a set”.  I mean… essentially.  What we have here is an encouragement to fight for what has meaning for you by bringing forth your aggressive protective “masculine” energy and pushing it forward into what needs dealt with and protected.  Don’t back down, don’t stand and wait.  Be proactive and use that aggression to protect what’s important to you.

WaningListen – You may not have that much time to connect with nature this week. Keep in mind that this situation is temporary and you will be able to do so again soon enough.  For now, it’s time to focus on other things besides the commensalistic relationship you share with the earth and fern, moss and trees.

WaxingUnder My Umbrella – Don’t be shy about allowing others to help you and they will get something out of it as well. More often than you realize, such help is a type of exchange where both parties get something out of the experience even though neither may be fully aware of what the other gets from it.

Secondary Notes – There is a color correlation between the King of Pentacles in Air, the Queen of Pentacles in Water, the Listen card in the Waning position, and the island in the Six of Wands for the Earth position.  What I see here in this connection is an encouragement to use the grounded strength and solid certainty in the King and Qeen to support yourself through the transition to a healthier place.  Allow grounding to play a significant role in this, even if this week doesn’t allow for much time outside in nature.  Touch base with that grounding energy in other ways, and refer back to it when making decisions based on your health and home.

There is also a color coordination between the Seven of Wands in the Fire position, the Thurisaz rune card in the Fire position, the Under My Umbrella card in the Waxing position, and a small hint of it in the Laguz card for the Air position.  Someone will be in need of your help this week and you will need to step up with some aggressive “masculine” energy to get things done and keep them safe. Now will not be the time to “go with the flow”.

Take Away – This reading is a reinforcement that I need to see this climb back out of the depression as an opportunity to “reboot” how I deal with responsibility and balancing my self care with my other interests, responsibilities, and needs.  I need to remember that it’s okay to ask for help, and stay vigilant in watching out for old habits that might try to sneak back in.

I need to remember, as well, that being rooted always feels safe and secure, but too much is not a healthy thing. Adaptability is an important part of life.

The Fire portion of this reading combined with my second secondary notes are self explanatory.  This is a heads up to let me know to be prepared.  By being prepared I may be able to circumvent this issue all together, or at least ensure that I’m ready for it when it arises.

DECKS USED:  TAROT OF MYSTICAL MOMENTS, ORACLE OF MYSTICAL MOMENTS, CRYSTAL BALL ORACLE, AND WITCH’S FAMILIARS RUNE ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Understanding Others

Relationship Tarot Spread - House of the Rising Spade Playing Cards

What will I learn from this person?

Nine of Clubs – How to create healthy boundaries. This is not something that I struggle with when it comes to my interactions and relationships with others, but it is absolutely something I struggle for myself.  I push myself too hard, I demand too much, I force myself to keep going and do more and take on more and constantly it is never enough.  This has been my life.  This person has, over time, worked to get me to see that, and is helping me in learning to change that behavior and thus, create healthy boundaries for how I treat myself and the expectations that I put upon myself.

An accurate portrayal of their personality.

Two of Diamonds – Two pennies are better than one.  Together is better.  They are focused upon that balance between what needs to be done and what is needed to be healthy and they are invested in helping me, in connecting with me, and making sure that I am acknowledging that need for balance as well.  This is about balance and finding balance, and accepting that balance is not stagnant, but a constantly moving and adjusting thing.  They are the rock you stand on for good footing as you try to find your balance, and the counterbalance that helps the scales even out.

The driving force of their intention with me.

Four of Diamonds – No one else will do. I am home.  I am what they want.  If they can’t have me, they want no one else. Although we often tease and joke about it being an obsession, it is more that I am the one that “feels right” and no others can shine as brightly or have half as much appeal.

How does this person truly feel about me?

Eight of Diamonds – They need to know everything there is to know about me. They need to be involved and invested.  They feel a need to be so invested that they are perfect in every way to what I need and when I need it.  They desire to be the perfect partner, with an “expertise” in me and providing me the home and stability I need.  For me this is not about money but about feeling secure and stable and safe.  They need to be the person that provides that for me.

A card to describe our relationship in the near future.

Three of Hearts –  *Lifts an eyebrow.*  Normally in this type of reading, I would consider this to be the “third wheel” card.  That is highly unlikely as we have already tried that and it wasn’t suited for either of us.  So that aside, the indication here is “fun with friends”.  Perhaps this means that the new RP idea that we’ve been slowly brewing up will be a success, at least for a short time.

A message passed to me from their higher self.

Three of Clubs –  Wherever we’re going, we’re going together.  Don’t ever leave him behind because he’s along for the long haul.

DECK USED:  HOUSE OF THE RISING SPADE PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – The Next Step

Next Step Tarot Spread - Odissea Minerva Playing Cards

Specific Situation:  Wednesday’s car accident.

What’s my next step?
Queen of Hearts

Take control but do it in a way that allows for some softness and warmth to enter into the equation.  There’s no signs at this time that you need to be a hardass, so just keep an eye on things and allow yourself time to heal… and allow Gideon a chance to get his anxiety over needing to put you in a protective ball ease up.

What do I have to change?
Six of Diamonds

Don’t make excuses for others and don’t allow people to walk all over you. There’s a difference between being generous, and being a pushover.  Make sure you’re on the right side of the line when dealing with this issue and others involved in the process.

How can i change this?
Seven of Spades

Be clever.  Be watchful. Pay attention and make sure everything is on par and moving along smoothly.  Don’t be a doormat or a pushover.  You don’t need to be aggressive, you just need to make sure you’re keeping an eye on things. Like that saying about door locks not keeping out the truly determined, but dissuading the tempted.

What do I have to continue doing?
Ace of Hearts

Make sure you are being kind to yourself and giving yourself gentle encouragement. Stay focused on the emotional education you are working towards and don’t get frustrated or discouraged.

How my life will change as a result of this next step.
Eight of Hearts

Things will change and move forward, but in keeping the advice above in mind, that movement will be in a positive direction. At times things might be frustrating or discouraging, but keep in mind that’s a part of the process and is temporary as long as you are staying on top of things and doing your due diligence.

DECK USED:  ODISSEA MINERVA PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Would I Survive?

Today’s bonus reading is just a  bit of fun and games. The Village Tarot Witch on Instagram tagged me in a challenge to do her spread and it looked like a lot of fun. As she did, I will list my personal pros and cons in this post, but unlike her I will do them at the end, after the cards.

Zombie Apocalypse Tarot SpreadMy Strengths for Surviving
The Stratagem (Emperor)

I am smart and clever and I have no problem putting aside my emotions in order to find the best path forward for myself and others. And when I mean best path?  I mean **the best** path forward. The safest path.  The path that will keep everyone (including myself) alive and well. I have absolutely no issue making decisions for the greater good, even if that means sometimes I’m disliked in the process. In a zombie apocalypse, the only priority more important than the greater good… is my own good.  And I’ll be damned well looking out for that too.

My Weaknesses (What’s going to get me eaten?)
The Suspended (Hanged Man)

In day to day life, my ability to pause and put myself in other’s shoes, see their perspectives as well as my own, and move forward with this knowledge is a huge asset.  In a zombie apocalypse, it would no longer be such a strength, though.  It would cause hesitation and, at times, cause moments of immobility which, in turn, could make me some zombie’s happy meal.

My Chances of Survival
Walker of Wands (Knight of Wands)

I would throw myself into the new life with gusto and make survival my passion and be proactive in finding a new life that would work.  As long as I kept in mind my own mortality and didn’t get too wrapped up in my enthusiasm in this matter, I will do well. There’s a fine line between enthusiastic pursuit of a desired outcome you’re passionate about… and reckless pursuit of an obsession. The problem would lie in making sure I balanced on the right side of that line and didn’t step over into an unhealthy perspective.

Personal (Realistic Based) Opinion On My Chances of Survival

PROS:  I’m clever.  I’m smart.  I know tons of random knowledge that would be helpful.  I’m excellent at wilderness survival and am familiar with traversing the back country. I’m adaptive and resourceful. I doubt I’d run into any emotional/psychological issues at all with taking down the infected.

CONS:   I require a minimum diet of 5000-6000 calories a day just to keep from dropping weight, which translates into a LOT of food, or I start wasting away and passing out.  Considering the extra physical activity that’s sure to come along with the proposed situation?  I’m going to need even more.

Also, my antidepressants play a key role in keeping me from constant suicidal ideation and sometimes uncontrollable suicidal urges.  I’d like to say that I could “muscle through” without them by determination alone, but I know for a fact it doesn’t work that way.

My cons far outweigh my pros, indicating that my chances of survival in this type of scenario, on the whole, are pretty slim.  BUT, that I probably won’t die by being eaten, but rather through starvation, hypoglycemic coma, or by offing myself.

DECK USED:  THE TAROT OF MANY DOORS

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Secret Tarot, Angelarium Year One and Year Two, Elemental Tarot

EarthSix of Chalices atop Three of Wands, Zuriel – It is only through finding a balance between your experiences in the past and your plans for the future that you’ll find peace in the present.  It can often feel like the past and the future are opposing forces, one pulling away from you to the left, and one stretching out ahead into the future on the right. This perception leaves the present seemingly alone and as a result abandoned as we spend so much time touching one or the other on either side that we forget… it is mindfulness in the moment that can create the balance needed between the two. Get your ass back into meditating daily.  It is as essential as taking a leak first thing in the morning or taking your meds before you go to sleep at night, so stop skipping it.

AirAce of Swords atop Knave of Wands, Remiel – Pluck from the tangled pile of new ideas you have collected and find one that sparks your interest and allows you to learn something new to add to your repertoire of passions and skills. Note that this advice speaks of one… one idea.  One project.  One new thing.  Do not add many to your plate or it will be too much.  Just one.   Try exploring just this one thing for a while, allow it to flourish and have fun with it.  It has the potential to grow into something beautiful if you don’t smother by overcrowding it with too many  other things.

WaterTwo of Wands, The Gate of Sahaqiel – It’s time to start focusing on connecting more strongly to your intuition.  Make sure that you are making space for spiritual pursuits and your connections therein.  Connecting to the divine is important, and sometimes that means you have to intentionally make plans for it in order to fit it in.  In the tail end of your recovery it’s especially important that you keep in mind that these things also need to be factored in or the end up left behind.

Fire The Wheel, Knave of Chalices, Sandalphon – New beginnings are upon you right now as you find yourself in the last dregs of your depression’s recovery.  Acknowledge this new start for the opportunity it is to learn a new way of doing things moving forward and turning those things that have not worked for you around into something better. Sometimes your efforts may bite you on the ass, but we are given opportunities in order to take them and try… so don’t let this opportunity pass you by.  Use it to try something new and something better, resurrecting new life from the ashes of what you leave behind.

WaningCave (Protection) – Uncurl from your shell and stretch.  The time to hide yourself beneath the shell that protects you from the harm others can create when you are vulnerable is at an end.  You are close enough to the surface now to safely stretch your arms wide and greet the world on your own terms once more.

WaxingNorth (Expansion) – Be true to yourself and the moral compass you know so well.  Be brave and be strong as you continue along your path and remember that it is not a single lesson we learn in life, but rather many over the course of our time.  Now is a time to explore and stretch your wings after so much time cramped in the dark.

Take Away – My recovery from depression is sliding into its last phase before solid ground is once more beneath my feet.  Now is a time to stretch and take in the sunlight and fresh air.  Pick a project that inspires and explore its potential, but be sure not to overwhelm myself with too much focus on the past or the future.  Put more focus into making sure I’m meditating each day and consciously taking the time and effort to stay connected to my spiritual path as I begin to “awaken” from the dark pit’s hold upon me.

DECKS USED:  SECRET TAROT, ANGELARIUM CARDS YEAR ONE AND YEAR TWO, ELEMENTAL ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Pending Shadows

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
Do you know you have shadow work hanging around but also know that you don’t have the mental energy to tackle it all yet? Do some mental and emotional preparation with these.
Theme: Make myself aware of what things I’m going to need to deal with but can’t yet.

Women Of History Playing Cards1.  What am I going to need to deal with soon, but right now I’m not ready yet?
Three of Diamonds atop King of Spades

Taxes.  Yes, I know the deadline is coming up, and I have quite a bit to get done in the interim between now and when I meet with my accountant again next month, but it’s one of those things that I need to work on one step at a time and I’m still not quite clear headed enough to manage it.  This might mean I need to file an extension this year.

Hopefully that will not be the case and with the help of L and Z as well as the accountant, I can get it done and checked and double checked in time.  I am aware that the depression cut into the time I would have normally spent on this over the past two months though, so it’s possible that extension might end up necessary whether I like it or not.

2.  Where did this come from?
Eight of Diamonds

Having a healthy and thriving business is something I’ve built up over time and as a result it seems the taxes involved become more of a pain in the ass with each passing year.  Fortunately, I have a good accountant on my side to help me get through  it.

3.  What steps should I healthily be taking now?
Five of Diamonds

Recognize that my feelings of scarcity are there to create a buffer of care and caution right now.  It allows me to step back and look at things with an unbiased and practical eye.  I recognize that these feelings of scarcity are false, but I can use them to better prepare and allow for a level of impartiality that would otherwise be difficult to accomplish.

4.  How will I know it’s time?
Eight of Spades

When I start feeling restless in my inaction, it will be time to finally use my skills and abilities to step forward and get moving on this.  Those steps can be small, just one small step in front of the other.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF HISTORY PLAYING CARDS