tarot self care

Morning Bonus Read – Emotional Arrow

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Emotional Arrow Tarot Spread - Mermaid Cats Tarot

Emotion Addressed In This Reading:  An Irrational Sense of Overwhelm

1. SOURCE: What prompted this emotion? What lies at the root of it?

Five of Cups – Feelings of never enough / never good enough. This isn’t about social issues, which is its own beast and separate from this.  This is about never feeling as if anything you do is enough.  Not enough work, not enough effort, not enough quality, not enough perfection.  It spurs from the echo of your parent’s voice in your head always telling you that “you can do better”.  Get an A on a test… “you could do better, your penmanship is poor”.  Get straight A’s in school… “you could do more, why aren’t you playing sports or doing extracurriculars?”  It was never enough… never good enough.  And somehow, it is an echo that has continued to push you forward, and beat you down, years and years after having left that environment and influence.

2. IMPACT: How is this emotion affecting me now? How is it riding me?

Eight of Wands – Push. Push. Push. Push.  That feeling of never enough and never good enough pushes you to always strive for more.  More output.  More perfection. Just… more.  It’s not enough to make beautiful jewelry, it has to be perfect. It’s not enough to sell enough that you’re working the majority of every day’s hours, sell more.  Do more.  Make more.  Be better.  Always… no matter how much or how well you’re already doing.

3. NAVIGATION: How can I better harness, navigate, and channel it?

Two of Wands – Pick a direction. ONE direction.  Pick a focus. ONE focus.  Stop trying to do so much at once, and splitting your attention and your energy in so many directions at once. You can’t be in two places at once, and you only have two hands.  Choose that direction, that focus, and leave the other stuff behind to possibly take up at another time.

4. MESSAGE: What is this emotion trying to tell me?

Knight of Swords – You’re pushing too hard and it’s taking you in the wrong direction (cat on the card is facing the past).  All of this drive comes from an ugly place in your past and you need to work on moving forward, not backward.  That includes recognizing and letting go of these influences that are not healthy and only perpetuate self abuse through impulsivity and misplaced determination.

5. TARGET: Best outcome/goal of working constructively with emotion.

King of Pentacles – Stability. Surety. Ownership. Resolving the issues surrounding this motion can allow you to find a more grounded and secure foundation in the present.  This foundation then will influence all aspects of your life from your work to your home life and your feelings of security, providing a more comfortable and self assured outlook on your current life as well as future plans.

6a. OVERKILL: How does this emotion mislead me?

Six of Wands – This emotion and the history behind it that pushes it on misleads you by causing you to look outside your self for validation that you’re doing enough. No one else’s opinion on this topic matters. Only yours.  You can’t earn the approval from those parents in your past, now that you’re in the present.  That time is gone and there’s no one to judge how you do, what you do, or how much you do… except you.

6b. OVERKILL: How might it take me too far?

Page of Cups Rx – Taken too far, you lose your connection to your inner curiosity and creativity. You become beaten down by these judgements and start to feel like giving up.  There is no more joy, and with no joy you begin to lose your sense of curiosity.  Without that sense of curiosity to spark your creativity, that too begins to flag and falter.

Side Note:  I spoke to my shrink about these issues yesterday and she suggested trying to compartmentalize my past from my present.  To help me in remembering that the past is the past, a different chapter in a book… read and left behind.  I am in a new chapter now than I was then.  In doing this, she suggests that it might help me in letting go of those feelings of “not enough / not good enough” as well as the feelings concerning fear of scarcity.

DECK USED:  MERMAID CATS TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Body In Pain

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Sawyer's Lenormand Oracle

Check-in on my overall energy.

Tree – Flagging and not particularly the greatest.  Although you are no longer flirting with burnout at every turn, neither are you taking care of yourself as well as you could… or should.  Slacking on your physiotherapy, eating too much junk, and not getting enough outside time and exercise are all starting to take their toll both physically as well as energetically.

Is there something this pain is trying to tell me?

Snake – You’re doing this to yourself.  Your betrayal of your body is all self imposed and the results that come from it are created by you and you alone.

How can I make it easier to hear what this pain has to say?

Fish – Stop fighting against the current and go with the flow.  Begin shifting and adapting to get back on track.  You don’t have to do it all at once, but you do need to start gravitating in that direction instead of just continuing blindly on this path of self destruction.

How can I release the harsh perception of this pain as my enemy?

Child – See it as a call to start again and refresh what you’re doing.  The pain isn’t an enemy but the result of bad choices.  By clearing out the old and taking a more youthful, open eyed approach to the situation you will better see your pain as an ally to guide you rather than an enemy to struggle against.

How can I support myself physically while this pain is present?

Mountain – Accept it as the fucking monstrous hurdle that it is.  Your pain is permanent, but the levels can be managed.  This reading is about how you deal with that hurdle, not eliminating it.

How can I support myself emotionally while this pain is present?

Moon – Understand that as long as your pain is out of control, so too will be your emotions. Just accepting this fact alone can help you in better supporting yourself emotionally, as it gives you a rational view of the constantly shifting emotions going on, as well as the jagged emotional highs and lows the pain creates.

DECK USED:  SAWYER’S LENORMAND ORACLE

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Hilda Tarot, Hedgewitch Botanical Tarot, Oilracle Essential Oils Card Deck

Earth – Nine of Wands and Dogwood (Defend) – You have physically come to the end of your rope and it’s time to build yourself up again.  Don’t face outward, for it’s your inner health and defenses that need healed and set in balance. This week is all about recovering “from battle” and getting yourself back up to snuff.

Air – Ten of Pentacles and Foxglove (Connection) – Even those things that are toxic have their place in our lives, and their uses beyond what’s harmful. This week, take a look at what’s toxic in your life, including your inner dialogue, and ascertain if there is anything useful about it.  If so, be grateful for it’s presence.  If not? Now’s the time to cut it out of your life so that you can focus on what’s really important.

Water – Judgement and Indigo (Enhance) – Another useful, but toxic plant. Another prompt to seek out what’s useful in your life, and what isn’t suiting your purpose.  Sometimes, we hold onto things just because they “look good” or “feel good”, and yet they aren’t healthy nor align with our goals and principles.

Fire – The Chariot and Hawthorn (Sacred) – The tasks set above, where it comes to centering your self on your path and to the principles that rule your life, are the theme of this week. Don’t forget that your path is sacred, and as you move to separate wheat from chaff, ensure you set your strength and determination behind the process.

Waning – Dragon Time atop Eucalyptus Radiata – Dawdling and doing nothing is not what this week is about. Don’t just spend this time enjoying the atmosphere and soothe the soul.

Waxing – Thieves – Cleansing and boundaries, protection and discernment.  As outlined in the reading above, all of these things need to come into play in the theme of this week.  Make sure that you are staying centered and ensure that you clear out what needs to be released.

Take Away – This entire reading is about attuning to my values and principles.  It’s about ensuring I’m leaving behind those things that no longer harmonize with what I want out of life.  Now is the time to look at these things, and begin discerning what needs cut free so that you can fly.

DECKS USED:  HILDA TAROT, HEDGEWITCH BOTANICAL ORACLE, OILRACLE ESSENTIAL OIL CARD DECK

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week’s prompt is on the theme of boundaries. Let’s do some divination to better understand our boundaries, using Goldilocks reasoning.”

Johannes Brahms Composers Luxury Playing CardsIn what areas of life are my boundaries too hard (trying so hard to protect me that they end up injuring me or preventing growth)?

Myself – Three of Clubs – forcing people to stay at a distance so that I don’t get hurt. Expecting betrayal, and thus building my inner walls too hard and too deep so that nothing can get through to touch me.

Others – Six of Diamonds – Shutting people out so strenuously that they do not have the ability to get through to help me when I need help.

In what areas of life are my boundaries too soft (not being enforced, not clearly delineated where they need to be, etc)?

Myself – Jack of Spades – I don’t allow myself to move at slower pace when in the process of learning new skills or ideas. This means I take on too much instead of buckling down on one thing at a time.

Others – King of Spades – I take too much on myself instead of delegating more effectively. This allows people to take advantage and do less instead of standing up and doing their share.

In what areas of my life are my boundaries just right?

Myself – Jack of Hearts – Having slowed down on the pursuit of the things that interest me and that I want in life. It used to be I try to do everything and be everything, and get everything done all at once so that I could have all that I wanted in life as fast as possible. I’ve learned to better pace myself in those pursuits.

Others – King of Clubs – I allow myself to teach what I want to teach, and what is a passion to me, instead of just letting whatever others want to learn be the basis of what I am willing to share.

DECK USED:  JOHANNES BRAHMS COMPOSERS LUXURY PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Feeling the Feels

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Cheimonette Tarot

Feels I’m Feeling

The Devil  – Temptation to self destruct.  Anti-depressants are a massive help to keeping me well balanced, but they don’t resolve everything.  This temptation comes and goes.  Sometimes it is stronger than others.  This isn’t about death, but rather about turning my entire life upside down, and razing the entire thing and everything I’ve worked for and built to the ground. This temptation is sneaky… slipping in to try and nudge and whisper, insidious and conniving as it works to tempt me astray.

The World – Potential for the new and different. I can see it glimmering in the distance, that promise of something new and better, of growth and transition.  I see it and sense it, I want to push for it and seize it… but I know that’s not how this works.  Growth takes time.

Feels I’m Ignoring
Ace of Disks atop The Moon, Five of Disks

Financial uncertainty and scarcity issues. This is a very strong theme in my life, and a driving force of my motivation a great deal of the time.  It’s a fear that I struggle with, and have struggled with ever since my emancipation from my parents at sixteen.   I am, at this time, doing my best to accept that I’ve done well for myself.  That I’m comfortable and safe, and that everything is stable.  There is no need for this fear and no need for it to rule my life.  I’m working at not allowing it to have such a loud and overpowering voice in my life.

Feels I Need To Embrace

Two of Staves – Pick a direction. Stagnancy sucks. I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck and waffling. I understand the need to pick a direction and I feel that I’ve begun that process.  It’s just taking far longer than I’m comfortable with.

Nine of Cups – Gratitude directed toward the self and toward having put myself in a place where I now have the time and space to even do “the feels” at all.

Feels I Should Feel More Often

Death – Embracing change instead of fighting against it.  It’s so hard not to struggle against change or fall into the feelings of fear and uncertainty that change can bring rise to.   Not all change is bad, though.  And even the change that feels bad?  Sometimes turns out all the better for having happened. Embracing change is hard, but I’m working on doing so more and more.

Seven of Cups – Feeling empowered by my wealth of options instead of overwhelmed by them. This is a perspective change that I’m not always able to shift into.  I can see it.  That wealth of opportunity… but I can’t sometimes get my emotions to follow along with that positive perspective I can see.  So, it’s like I can see it, but not quite touch it.

Feels I should Share With Others

Six of Swords – Discuss with them the desire you have to change direction.

Ten of Cups – Share this adventure with them and make them a part of the whole.

DECK USED:  CHEIMONETTE TAROT

Year Ahead Spread 2021 – July thru September

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This spread is a predictive spread that is very commonly used as a bit of a preview of the year ahead. The question asked for each of these positions is…
Tarot Card: The theme of the month in question,
Oracle Card: What to focus on for the month in question, and
Affirmation Card: A ray of hope to hold onto for the month in question.

Year Ahead Spread for Divination

This reading is simply a brief exploration of the current trajectory of my path and energy for the year ahead. Like all predictive readings, nothing here is written in stone, it’s more of a look ahead just to have an idea of what to anticipate and what to work at avoiding.

As an experiment, I have decided to do my year ahead reading a little differently this year. In January I pulled cards for the first six months of the year.  Today, I am revisiting the spread to pull cards for the last six months of the year, three of those months I will then interpret now, while the last three months of the year I will interpret at the beginning of October. I feel that this might help in ensuring a more accurate reading for the second half of the year.

Six Month Ahead Spread for Divination - Part 2 - July through December

2021’s Theme – Justice – This card is calculated through mathematics, and is not drawn randomly.  My card for 2021 is the Justice card, with the theme of having to acknowledge that what you put out into the world and what you do in your life reflects back to you in turn.  Good begets good, bad begets bad.  Following that inner moral compass will be especially important this year and possible a bit of a challenge.

I never wrote down my interpretations of this particular reading, but I want to get it up and posted in case I want to look back on it later.

Brady Tarot, Tree Whisperer Oracle, Magickal Herbs OracleJuly’s Theme – Six of Feathers (Passage) –

July’s Focus / Advice – Boundary –

July’s Ray of Hope – Awaken (Goldenseal) –

August’s Theme – Five of Horns (Loss) –

August’s Focus / Advice – Challenge –

August’s Ray of Hope – Soothe (Slippery Elm) –

September’s Theme – Father of Roots –

September’s Focus / Advice – Origin –

September’s Ray of Hope – Activation (Yerba mate) –

DECKS USED:   THE BRADY TAROT, TREE WHISPERER ORACLE, MAGICKAL HERB ORACLE