tarot reading

The Balancing Act

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Today’s meditation was… well, okay.  Non-existent.  I didn’t meditate today.  With so very little sleep, I was worried if I did that I’d end up crashing.  I will be giving it a go once I head to bed tonight, but I don’t expect I’ll be awake for much of it.

Page of Wands - Slow TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is a representation of a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.  This often comes through as themes concerning exploring one’s potential and sparks of inspiration.

I can’t remember what the message was for this card a few days ago when it surfaced, but what I’m feeling from this card today is an encouragement to remember the joy that comes with my business and craft instead of allowing myself to become overwhelmed.

At this time of year when things become chaotic and busy, it’s very easy for me to be swallowed up and lose track of the enjoyment aspect that is a part of this journey.   Today’s card is an important message to assist me in essentially surviving the holiday rush.

Deck Used: Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What cycle or journey is closing for me at this time?

Sasuraibito Tarot Reading Summary: Struggling with feeling overburdened (Ten of Swords) while telling myself I can handle it on my own (Knight of Wands).  Sometimes accepting support from others is okay (Three of Cups) while allowing collaboration (Three of Pentacles) to find a better way forward (Page of Swords).

Take Away: This is a message concerning my insistence that I can do everything myself and refusal to look outside myself for support and assistance in achieving my goals.  The holiday rush is going to force me out of this cycle by requiring me to look outside of myself for assistance in the chaos of the weeks ahead.

Deck Used: Sasuraibito Tarot

Control Within the Chaos

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Today’s meditation was a little over eleven minutes, and was the next segment in the ‘how to’ series that I have been working through.  The focus on today’s meditation was

King of Wands - Slow TarotToday’s draw is the King of Wands, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.  This manifests in a push of energy toward leadership which displays itself with a commanding presence that possesses high expectations both of the self and of others.

With my feet resting upon the cusp of the busiest time of the year for me, this card’s arrival today is a reminder to project authority in what I do and confidence in my work, which is also my passion and my ambition.

This card is a reminder of the energy needed to ensure that the cacophony of the holiday rush does not overwhelm me.  I am capable of taking control, and I will do so, and move forward with strength and confidence into the chaos of the busy season.

Deck Used:  Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: Where would I benefit from slowing down?

Gravity Tattoo Tarot Reading Summary: Letting money slide through my fingers (Six of Pentacles) while feeling confident I can indulge in my passions without repercussion (Queen of Wands).  It’s only through staying strong and practicing restraint (Strength) that I will find true stability that I can celebrate (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  As a previous reading has suggested already, as the money flows in from the holiday rush, I have responsibilities to focus on.  Where usually extra money would go into different interests and pursuits, for the time being (as is the same every year) the influx over the next seven weeks needs to funnel into those responsibilities instead.

Deck Used:  Gravity Tattoo Tarot

Boundaries

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I started a new series to work through as the regular daily meditation was a repeat from a couple months ago.   The new series is “How to Meditate” with a different narrator than my regular, so we’ll see how it goes.  I did very much like the very basic way that they broke down what meditation is, though, and so I’ll probably stick with it for a while at least, regardless of the voice not being the best.

Nine of Wands - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is a representation of resilience, defense, and good boundaries in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.   After the day I had yesterday, it’s not surprising that this card would come up.

Today’s draw is a reminder to keep my boundaries strong.  They are there for a reason and even with the awakening of new levels of emotion in my life, they need to hold firm. That new depth of emotion I’ve been feeling lately leaves me feeling a bit disoriented and as if I am fumbling in the dark.  Now more than ever it is important to ground myself in my values, as well as in those boundaries I’ve put in place for my own personal and emotional safety as well as the safety of what (and who) I hold dear.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I encourage continued growth moving forward?

Skele-TarotReading Summary:  When you’re feeling a bit lost in the dark (The Moon) remain calm, thoughtful, and decisive (Queen of Swords) rather than letting choices overwhelm you (Seven of Cups) and create conflict (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  A lot of times when I’m dealing with uncertainty, I let things get overwhelming because I feel powerless in those moments.  The cards are reminding me that to move forward and grow from these experiences, I can’t give in to those feelings of being overwhelmed, but instead strive to stay calm and collected within the storm.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

Connected and Open

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Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and a continuation on the managing stress series that I have been listening to for the past few days.  Today’s take on the topic dealt with sitting with discomfort rather than running away from it.

This is a technique I learned in pain management, but it works for emotions and other situations as well.  Most stresses will pass if given time to do so, and those that don’t, you will adapt to.  It’s difficult to sit with discomfort, though, rather than trying to fix it or run from it.  It takes practice and effort… and sometimes even then, it’s just not something that’s easy to accomplish.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is a double with a jumper, and it was very sneaky about it too (because usually if I get more than two? I put them back for a lesser amount).  The two jumped out together, but were so very aligned that they looked like one, then the third jumper came out off to the side.   When I then went to pick up the original card, I discovered there was another one hiding behind it.

SO…. the cards in today’s draw are the Ace of Cups and the World card, with the Hermit as the jumper.

And oh boy… this is all about our time together.  It’s about that new and budding depth of emotion  and how it feels all-encompassing, which is referenced in the Ace of Cups and the World card.  There is a connectedness and an other-worldliness that comes with the drown, and especially as deeply as I have drowned with you this time.  It creates a sort of sensation like a caterpillar wrapping itself into a cocoon, the inside saturated with the water of emotions bright and fresh and open and everywhere.

At some point that cocoon will open, though, and I will need to come out for air.   The Hermit is a reminder that I’m not alone, even if that is where my temptation to run and hide.   You create this space where my emotions are open and I feel connected to everything… I need you for what comes after as well, no matter how much my natural instinct is to retreat into myself.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I deal more effectively with change?

Twisted Tarot TalesReading Summary: Although my temptation is to self soothe through excess (The Empress) while lashing out at others (Justice), or hide from responsibility (The Fool) by running away (Six of Swords), often the best course of action I can take is to submit (Eight of Swords) and let that shit just roll over me, chew me up, and spit me out.

Take Away: Change is inevitable, and the temptations that I feel to self-destruct during those times are natural but not helpful.  It’s important to avoid falling into those traps, and instead focus on rolling with the change and letting it happen, rather than fighting it or thrashing against it mentally or emotionally.

Deck Used: Twisted Tarot Tales

Uncertainties in Self

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Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck