tarot reading

Try To Make It Fun

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  I’m finishing this post up a few days late, so I’m not sure what it was that caused me to skip it but I think I might have fallen asleep.

Silhouettes Tarot - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of an alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s inspiration, drive, will power, and inner spark. One way of interpreting this is as a person of authority or strength, that uses that authority and strength to listen to the desires of others (or their inner self) and help them in getting involved in those things that they are inspired by, or need an extra boost of willpower in order to follow through on.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the colors.  It’s the glow of bright yellow from the center of the card behind the queen, radiant and bright as she holds both the thorny vine as well as the beautiful sunflower.

The message that I see in this card is that you may have to be the boss today, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it… or at least try to.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Loving myself
Question: What self-love do I need right now to help me through this dark time of pervasive depression?

Nano Starseeds Tarot

Reading Summary: You need to work at balancing (Two of Pentacles) that feeling of life’s unpredictability and instability (The Wheel of Fortune) with the solid security of Gideon’s support and love (King of Cups).

Take Away:  You need him.  You need his support and the security that he provides.  You need him to help balance out the chaos of uncertainty that you’re feeling right now.  It’s okay to need him to help you in finding that balance.  Don’t forget that he’s there for you.

DECK USED:  NANO STARSEEDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Ask the cards for a positive message to carry with you throughout the day.

Silhouettes TarotReading Summary: Indecision (Six of Cups) causes setbacks (Knight of Swords Rx). So take the reins and push through on what needs to be done (The Chariot). Be the boss (The Emperor).

Take Away: It’s orders day and I have to work whether I want to or not. I have to get shit done, whether I want to or not.  I have to make sure that things are still moving… whether I want to or not.  All I honestly want to do is curl up in bed and never come out.  Not to eat.  Not to work. Not to do anything.  Just burrow into the fragrant softness and let it wrap me up and drown out the rest of the world with that small amount of comfort.

But I can’t.   So sack it up and get your shit done.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I… have no idea what I did today that would be considered  a self kindness.  Not any idea at all.

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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1889 Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Book – Make sure that you know all the facts before making any important decisions this month.  With you currently in the middle of an MDE, it’s important that you look to stable and informative outside sources to ensure you are seeing the full picture and not just that one view through the grimy glass that your depression affords you.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Clouds – Remember that this is temporary.  You are well and deeply sunken into the pit of depression and it is causing a good deal of confusion but you’re doing well at keeping the overwhelm in hand. Remember that this is familiar to you.  It’s something you’ve gone through before, and something that you will get through this time as well.  The depression may be heavy, but it’s temporary.

Star Wand: What will accelerate your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Ship – Focus on the things you have invested in and in fostering their continued good health.  Don’t worry about growth, that will take care of itself.  Just keep everything afloat and let the rest go for right now.  If it’s still afloat at the end of the depression, you can then work on pushing things forward and encouraging their growth.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Bouquet – The universe is rooting for you and pushing you to find what joy you can, however you can find it.  Even little joys will help brighten up the darkness around you, so allow them in and do your best to take pleasure in them.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Anchor – Don’t forget that you have spent a long time setting yourself up for the security and stability that you now have in your life.  Things feel like they are out of control at the moment, but this is an illusion created by your mental instability, and it will pass.  The true stability  you  have created in your life is still there, and will be there waiting for you when you begin to find your way out of the darkness.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Man – It’s okay to focus on yourself right now. It’s okay to be selfish right now. It’s okay to need to put yourself first for now.  It’s needed.  Do it.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Child – You are at the bottom of the pit.  Seek out the light and the fresh air. Don’t wallow but keep reaching for the new breath and fresh openness  that is waiting for you on the other side of the darkness.

DECK USED:  1889 LENORMAND ORACLE

Choppy Waters

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IMG_9037Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The focus of today’s meditation was something that really resonated for me.  What it said was, “It’s easy to get used to things not going our way. When we’re met with challenge after challenge, we may start to believe that life is unfair, or that we’re undeserving, or that our circumstances may never change.  But then, when good things do happen, we may be so conditioned by our pessimistic filter that we won’t even see them.  Through mindfulness we can challenge this condition. When we notice that we are perceiving life through a negative lens we can recognize that this is our habit and we can step back to view things more objectively.  And we can remind ourselves of the universal law of impermanence, that things are always changing. We can embrace this principle, releasing misconceptions that we’re undeserving, and embracing goodness when it arrives.”

Ad Orbita Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of new emotions, new relationships, and new connections with our creativity and intuition.  It’s all about that seed of newness and the watery element of the emotional realm.

What really catches my attention in this card’s imagery today is the choppiness of the water below.

Sometimes, newness inherently involves a bit of a rocky start.  That turbulence comes from the aspect of change and the time it takes us to grow and adapt to that change.

Today’s card is a reminder that even when something new feels like a rocky start, it can evolve into something as dazzling and spectacular as shooting stars in a night sky.

DECK USED:  AD ORBITA TAROT

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I best work with the energy of Mercury Rx this month?

The Byzantine Tarot

Patriarch atop Five of Cups Rx – Learn to practice self forgiveness.  Not everything has to be perfect all the time.  Sometimes learning is messy… sometimes life is messy.  And remember that the path to self forgiveness and a healthier relationship with occasional setbacks may boil down to long known tried and true methods.  We’re not talking about new concepts or methods here… and it’s not rocket science.

Count of Swords atop Death Rx – Don’t allow yourself to stall out or stagnate.  Self discipline is important, especially in times when you’re stuck in that “don’t feel like it right now” mindset.  Lean into what you know is going to work.  Keep moving.  Now is not the time to dig in your heels.

Four of Swords – Get some rest, but make sure it’s of the healthy variety.  No burrowing under the covers to hide, but you need to make sure you’re getting the rest you need.

DECK USED:  BYZANTINE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Do the Imbolc Spread

Ad Orbita TarotWhat seeds need planted in my life right now?

The High Priestess – It’s time to start getting in touch with your feelings, intuition, and inner knowing. Sometimes during a depression this can be difficult to tap into as cleanly and clearly as you’d like, but the depression won’t last forever and if you foster the seeds of beginning in that connection now, the strength of it and future growth will recover and continue far more smoothly than letting things sit and stagnate.

What preparations do I need to begin making to prepare for this growth?

Knight of Pentacles Rx – Let go of your issues concerning feeling restless with slow going progress. Beware that if you go too fast or let these feelings take control, you’re going to spill everything on the floor and make a damned mess.  There’s a fine line between slow but steady growth, and not moving at all.  It’s a fine line with a very big difference.

What in my life is beginning a phase of reawakening and renewal?

King of Wands Rx – A time of releasing responsibilities.  Set down the big plate full of crap that you need to do and pick up a smaller plate that will leave room for more extraneous, pleasurable things.  You can be responsible and still support and foster the growth of your business and goals, while carrying a bit less on your shoulders.

How can I best foster that awakening?

Two of Cups – Allow others to support me in my journey.  Delegate and work together with these others so that what was once a solitary endeavor becomes a balance of like minds that care about the same things, the same results, as well as each other.

DECK USED:  AD ORBITA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a few breaks today during the process of getting my orders ready to go.  I can’t say that I didn’t feel restless and a bit guilty during these breaks… but I did take them anyway.

Imbolc 2021

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This evening through ’til tomorrow evening is Imbolc (also known as Candlemas, Imbolg, and Brigid’s Day), which marks the half way point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, and it signifies the transition from winter into the first stirrings of spring.  This holiday is about life renewing, but in the hidden darkness of cold months and dark earth.  Deep in the darkness seeds stir and roots begin to feel the warming of the earth as the days grow longer and nights shorter.  Life awakens, invisible in its infancy.

Imbolc 2021 Tarot Reading

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are sure to be  some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of the upcoming Spring Equinox at the end of March.

Theme of the Season – Imbolc, Waning Gibbous Moon, Aesculus Hippocastanum 

Imbolc is a time of life reawakening and the sweet stirrings that are not yet seen but will soon come forth to greet the sun. It is a time of hope, rest, and awakening, and is considered the very first whisper of the spring to come. 

The Waning Gibbous Moon is a time of decline.  This is the time when one rides the peak of the full moon’s power into it’s decrease.  Spell craft done on the full moon will stretch forward into the energy of the gibbous moon, providing  it the power needed to begin influencing those things we set to change on that full moon night.  Now is a time to reflect on your achievements with gratitude for all that has been gained and accomplished.

The Aesculus Hippocastanum (Horse Chestnut) are a magical representation of the fertility of the divine masculine, and are often used in spells that have to do with luck, especially of the monetary abundance sort.  It is an astringent, an anti-inflammatory, and contains saponins, which means that it can be used to make soap and other cleaning products.  It should not be ingested, though, as this nut is toxic to humans, causing stomach upset, kidney problems, muscle twitching, weakness, loss of coordination, vomiting, diarrhea, depression, paralysis, and stupor when ingested. In other words… don’t eat the soap, dumbass.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here has to do with taking this time of rest and quiet to purge out the negative and that which is not serving you with practices of gratitude and self care. Acknowledge your accomplishments and allow a little bit of pride to flourish as you wash away the negativity with positive reinforcement and an attitude of gratitude and hope.

Earth – Nine of Swords – In the darkness of the depression you find yourself in, you twist and turn restlessly and seek release from the chains darkness has bound you in.  Remember that even the seed must spend time in the dark before it can emerge to greet the sun.  Don’t fuss so much.  Pause and allow yourself to take a breath. Adding extra worries and anxieties to the experience won’t make it any more pleasant, nor usher it to move on more quickly.

Air – Three of Swords – This darkness you find yourself in naturally drags forward feelings of disappointment and damning thoughts of degradation.  Look up and allow the rain to wash you clean.  You are going through a trial and you need to work at keeping the negative thoughts from taking over.

Water – Nine of Wands –  Don’t close up. Don’t close off.  These things will not serve you well and aren’t healthy.  The depression always makes it tempting to put up walls and go on the defensive but you’ve been doing well at keeping those unhealthy habits in check. Better to allow the air to flow in and your breath to flow out.  Your emotions need an outlet to help things stay on an even keel.

Fire – Knight of Wands –  Following the theme of the other cards in this reading, this Knight has arrived to tell you what not to do. Do not charge forward.  Do not bear down in your focus and end up closing out the outside world and the influence of others as a result.  Do not allow yourself to find escape in work… for that escape is not going to foster you in any ways that matter in this moment when it is your mental health that needs your focus… not your work.

Waning – Light – You’re not going to be getting a lot of clarity this week, and hope might be a bit of a challenge. Feeling as if you are at a standstill is a natural part of what you’re going through right now, and that can create a sense of hopelessness. 

Waxing – The Stargazer – Patience is going to play an important role in moving forward over the next few weeks. Not everything can be taken on like a warrior charging into battle, sometimes it is about patiently working towards where you want to be one small step at a time.  The cake still gets eaten whether you nibble at it and savor each bite, or wolf it down on a gluttonous inhale.

Take Away –  Don’t worry. Don’t thrash.  Don’t fight too vigorously or try to charge through the abyss with force.  This moment in your journey is about patience and slow progress.  It’s about gratitude and doing what you can to foster hope within the darkness.   Have patience with yourself… you’ll get there in time.

DECKS USED: DANIELLE BARLOW ART CARD, PAGAN UNDERWORLDS TAROT, COMPENDIUM OF WITCHES ORACLE, HEALING HERBAL CARDS VOL 1 & 2

Finding What Works

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IMG_9019Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and was a guided meditation via the Calm app with an added interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I nearly skipped again, but I managed to fight off the temptation and actually do the meditation instead.

The focus of today’s meditation was about perspective, and how important it is to listen to others and gain their input.  Sometimes when you are sure that your way is the right way, it’s difficult to remember that it may not be the only right way.  At times like that, it can be difficult to reach out for other’s input and perspectives, and yet with every time we do just that… we ourselves grow and become more than we were before. We learn and become better as a result.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of new ideas, new perspectives, and new ways of communicating with others.

This card is one of the cards in the deck that actually convinced me I had to have this deck.  I was one of those that didn’t manage to pick up the deck through kickstarter, but rather much later down the line when they were briefly (for a few hours) available through the creator’s Etsy shop. This was the first card I saw of this deck, and I was so enamored that I just had to have it.

The feathered quill here speaks of both the air element, which is the element of the Swords suit, but also of the themes that have to do with intellect and communication. The message I see in this card today is about finding new methods of communication, and is a topic that I am very familiar with.

When I was rendered mute, I had to seek out and experiment with many different new methods of communication.   Here online, not much changed.  I was able to communicate as normal and no one even realized anything had changed.  It was like “coming home” to return back to old and comfortable methods each day when the rest of my day was filled with the struggle of maneuvering the world by new and different ways of communicating.

That’s what this card made me think of today.  Sometimes?  We have to try something new whether we really want to or not. The point of doing this is to find what works for us… and discover what doesn’t. Experimentation and trying something new is not about succeeding or failing.  It’s about finding the shoes that fit best and are the most comfortable to wear.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions:  I. II. and III.

Dark Days Tarot

I. What is the main theme of this Mercury Retrograde for me?

Page of Wands atop Two of Wands – This Mercury Rx for me will be about finding new ways to look at my plans and goals.  This could involve a new perspective in how I deal with planning things out, but will have an impact on how I do things in the future, and allow for me to learn a better method of working out those details.

II. How am I asked to honor my feelings or the current Rx vibes?

King of Pentacles Rx atop Two of Swords – Your vulnerable undersides are showing. Make sure that you’re not acting hastily and causing more damage as a result.  Sometimes, standing still and allowing the world to turn around you is a better choice than stepping blindly forward onto the ice and having it crack beneath your feet.

III. What am I asked to reflect on throughout Mercury Retrograde?

Knight of Wands atop The Chariot – Why are you rushing?  Why is it so important that you get things done at inhuman speeds?  Why do you force yourself into the stress of unreasonable deadlines when you are the one setting these deadlines in the first place?

DECK USED:  DARK DAYS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread 4 

5 Cent TarotHow do you most commonly misinterpret reading the cards for yourself?

Justice – I often judge myself too harshly and my feelings on needing to be punished for these things I am judging myself about sometimes comes out in my readings.   At these times (and when reading on these topics), my reading accuracy is often hindered by the fact that I see repercussions being dealt out to me that are unnecessary and never come to pass as a result.

How do you most commonly misinterpret reading the cards for others?

Ten of Wands – The answer is at the top of the card.  It has to do with failing to see the accomplishment within the message.  My focus during a reading is often honed in on what needs to be done, what needs to change, what needs fixing or adjusting or what help is needed.  This proactive approach often neglects to also take in what has been done or fixed or adjusted.

How can you improve at reading the cards so that it doesn’t keep happening?

Nine of Cups – Include more positivity in the readings. Empowerment is already there but there also needs to be an emotional connection.  Something that connects the emotions to positive feelings and a feeling of accomplishment instead of it all being about what’s needed or not been done or the more unpleasant aspects of the situation.

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’ve started using the MyNetDiary app on my phone again to keep track of my blood sugar readings, and I’m doing a bit of tracking of my sugar levels before and after eating as an update since I haven’t done this in a while.

When Everything Falls Apart

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I didn’t feel like it, which… at the time felt like a valid excuse to skip it for the day, but now I realize that it’s not and I should have realized it from the start.  I just felt such a heavy lack of enthusiasm and dread about it that I had a “fuck it” reaction and didn’t do it.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Ten of WandsToday’s draw is the Ten of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of feeling overwhelmed and/or overburdened.  It is about struggling under the weight of one’s projects and responsibilities.  I often end up getting this card as a warning when I am approaching burnout.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery to day is the upraised hands.  It’s as if we have caught this man in that single moment when what was a neatly stacked and bundled collection of wands decides to go awry and spread out.  The hands then raise up in an “oh shit” to try and catch what has clearly decided to split, separate, and break free.

We all have times when everything is neatly in a row and then suddenly one of the ducklings goes off track and chaos ensues. It’s not always about having overburdened yourself… but about losing control of that burden unexpectedly.     The thing is?   That is also a form of overburdening… as it’s important to leave some wriggle room for when that moment of “awry” happens so that you can deal with it instead of it overpowering you.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I asked to take with me moving forward?

Mundane Magick Tarot

Reading Summary: Let go of your perceived failings (Judgement atop Emergent of Coins Rx), while taking forward into the future your empowerment (The Magician) and hope (The Star).

Take Away:  It is hard to let go sometimes when you feel you’ve fucked up or suck at something. Or, at least it’s hard for me to let go of it.  Especially if the repercussions involve destabilizing my security or hurting someone else.  The key to a healthier future, though, is to remember that from these experiences you learn and obtain tools that help you in dealing with them better in the future, and do what you can to focus on the good you can do moving forward.

DECK USED:  MUNDANE MAGICK TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is your greatest vice you’re not consciously aware of?

Guardian of the Night TarotReading Summary: When finding myself at the end of a journey (Ten of Swords) and thus the beginning of a new one (Ace of Cups), I often fail to pause and take stock (Four of Pentacles Rx) before moving forward.

Take Away: I’m so constantly going full bore from one thing to the next that I often forget that I need to take a break and find my footing again between one adventure and the next one.

Instead, I move on from what has been finished and dive enthusiastically into the next, allowing my pursuit if enjoyment and pleasure to carry me away into the new “thing”, whatever that thing might be, without that necessary pause to take stock, restock, and find my balance before continuing on.

DECK USED:  GUARDIAN OF THE NIGHT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I turned the water off for the sink and decided not to fuck with it today.  It was really frustrating me, as it’s still leaking.  It didn’t at first.  Not for the first few hours after I’d taken it apart and put it back together.  Then it started leaking again while we were doing the dishes.  So obviously… it’s not fixed.  I needed to step away from it for a bit, so I have decided not to deal with it today or tomorrow since it’s the weekend anyway so if I need to get hold of Moen, it won’t be possible until Monday at the earliest.