tarot reading

Give Yourself Credit

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretching and forearm flexor stretching.

The focus of today’s meditation was about anxiety and worry, and how sometimes we get so wrapped up in the habit of worrying about things that we forget to look at how unlikely those things we’re worried about are to actually happening.  We lose sight of realism, and lean into projected thoughts which, when we’re worrying about something, can then lead to self fulfilling prophesy.

Better is to have a touch of self awareness so that when you start stewing over something and worrying at it, that you can look at what you’re worried about realistically and give yourself a sort of “reality check” on the likelihood of those worries actually coming to fruition.

The Darlings Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, manifestations, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes that have to do with nurturing and supportive energies that are strongly grounded and based in strength and purpose.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the sheer amount of abundance represented here.  The oversized coin.  The plethora of roses and leaves and greenery. The many, many pears piled up around the base of the queen’s throne.   Even the queen with her long hair and long ears, and yards and yards of dress.  She is blessed and willing to share… all you need to do is ask.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today is a reminder that you have more to offer than you think you do.  Sometimes we all get down on ourselves. We take for granted what we have to offer to others, or what we give to others.  What seems like a small thing to us, or “nothing” to us, could be huge to someone else.  Even things such as smiles, five minutes of your time, an offered pen when there isn’t one handy… these things can change someone else’s entire day for the better.  So don’t discount what you have to offer the world, and don’t be down on yourself for not offering more.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work with the energies available to me this month?

Reading Summary: You’re going to have to pick and choose (Seven of Cups) what you go after (The Seeker), and set the rest aside (Five of Cups).

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Tools available to me this month from my “tool box”.

Lua TarotReading Summary: Enthusiasm and alacrity (Eight of Wands) especially when your loved ones and “comfort zone” are involved in the mix (Ten of Cups).  Hope and your spiritual connection to the elements (The Star).

Take Away:  So, I combined two different challenges together for this reading as I felt that they fit really well. 

The message here is that during the month of May, I am being given the opportunity to hone down on my path and the direction I want to take things, but it will require letting go of a few things in order to make room for those things I want to go after to grow and flourish.

In order to do this, it will help to remember to focus on those things that create an element of enthusiasm for me and that I am drawn to due to the emotional comfort and security they bring. My deep connection to my spirituality and the elements, as well as my efforts and commitment to foster hope and positivity in my life will help in making these decisions as well.

DECK USED:  LUA TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What in life lights fire to your creative spark?

The Darlings TarotReading Summary: Healthy alone time (The Hermit). Gratitude (Nine of Pentacles). Getting worked up to the point where I say “Fuck it, I’ll do it my own damned way” (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: Alone time that allows me to connect with myself and with nature.  Time spent among the trees on my own, allowing me to really tap into the forest and, while doing so, give myself space and time to tap into myself. Forest bathing allows me this time and connection as nothing else can and I always come back from these times in nature feeling refreshed and ready to create.

Taking time to really tap into what I value in my life and my accomplishments also lights the fire of my creative spark.  It reminds me of what I’m capable of, what I’ve managed to accomplish, and what potential I have to move forward and do more. It reminds me of the opportunities that have been given to me, that I’ve earned along the way, and that are waiting for me in the future.  This view of what I’m grateful for and future potential is inspiring.

Sometimes?  It’s all about opposition.  Not in the way of fighting with others or obstacles in my way, but rather the frustration of seeing things done a different way, a more difficult way, or being told “this is the only way”.  In these moments I can often become oppositional and my creative spark flares as I seek out a better way that will fit me and my methods more comfortably.

DECK USED:  THE DARLINGS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap!  I didn’t want to take a nap, but I did.  And I feel much better for having done so.

Social Faux Pas Worries

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Today’s meditation was thirty eight minutes long, and was a bit different than the norm. foxi ☾, who is one of our members (also moderator) on the Tarotholics Discord server has started doing occasional guided meditations on the server and he did the first one the other day. They were kind enough to record it so that those that couldn’t attend when it was going live could listen back later.

There was nothing in the meditation that created a negative reaction with my synesthesia and I found their voice very relaxing.  There were a couple of things that didn’t really match with my beliefs (like the mention of “the creator”), but it was easy enough to change those moments into something in my mind that did match such as “the energy of creation” and, all in all?  It was a terrific meditation.  The best I’ve done in quite some time.

The Gentle Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unity, attraction, and harmonious partnerships.  It is not just about romantic love, but about finding that mutual connection with others…. that thing that makes two people just “click” and be on the same wavelength.

In my life, I often feel a weird sort of negative anticipation when it comes to working with and interacting with others. Almost trepidation, which keeps me careful and watchful of what I say and how I say it long after most around me have transitioned to being comfortable.

It’s like…. I worry continuously that I will misstep, say the wrong thing, insult or anger them, etc.  This is from my upbringing, and never being able to say anything right.  It has been reinforced by some pretty epic fall-outs of friendships over the years.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message here is a reminder that some of the lessons that we carry with us can create struggles in our present lives, and that those struggles can often influence or affect others.  It’s a reminder that it’s important not to get too down on yourself for these struggles and setbacks.  We’re all doing the best we can to relate to and connect with one another.  Sometimes it works… sometimes, sadly, things go wrong. It doesn’t mean you should give up.  Not on connecting with others, not in yourself, and not in others either.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Beltane – The Seed, The Work, The Bloom

Forest Creatures Tarot 2nd Edition

Reading Summary: You push to do better (The Seed – Six of Wands) because you care about others in your life and want to create a safe, stable, and secure home (The Work – Ten of Coins). But it’s never going to be enough (The Bloom – Five of Cups).

Take Away: You can only depend on yourself to judge what is “good enough”.  If you wait for others to tell you what’s good enough, you’ll work yourself to the bone and never get the okay, or you’ll constantly be cutting your potential short because other’s standards don’t coincide with your own.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT 2ND EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do the Beltane Spread

The Gentle TarotDandelion : How can I use my inner strength to help me in healing old wounds?

The Hierophant – Own the lessons learned from these old experiences and carry them forward to help others. In sharing your experiences and lessons you’ve learned with others, you heal yourself in the process.

Bee : Where could I put in more effort to help my community?

The Chariot – Give what you can and don’t worry about the rest.  It’s not all up to you.  You can offer without taking on responsibility, and that would be the best and healthiest way for you to provide more to the community.

Garnet : What do I need in order to foster a greater sense of self-empowerment?

Two of Thunder – A stronger sense of decisiveness.  Sometimes it can be hard to weigh choices and make a decision.  Sometimes, I have a habit of standing back to watch and wait a bit instead of deciding right away.  To foster self-empowerment, working on less “waiting” time and a bit more immediacy to my decision making process could help.

Swallow : Where do I need to more openly display my love and loyalty to others?

Flower of Thunder – My mother.  I need to find a  way to connect with my mother that does not result in us clashing all the time.  It always seems that we end up at odds, and as much as I want to build some sort of relationship with her, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for years.

Malachite : How can I better use intention to bolster the abundance in my life moving forward?

Judgement – I need to make sure that I am focusing on where I want my life to go and what I really want to do with it.  This isn’t about careers, but about the man that I want to be and the people I want to surround myself with.  I will then be able to bolster the abundance in my life by the simple act of keeping my focus upon these things.

Goat : How can I best overcome obstacles before me at this time?

Three of Cups – Reach out to those that are nearest and dearest and allow them to not just help me out, but bring a sense of fun and celebration into the process. Obstacles just don’t seem as tall and imposing when you’re smiling and laughing, and you need them to help give you that lift.

Primrose : How can I add more of the exuberance of young love to my life?

The Emperor – Claim it.  Acknowledge it.  It’s already mine.  The relationship that I have with Gideon may be coming on 13 years long now, but it also often feels like it’s still shiny and brand new.

DECK USED:  THE GENTLE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I deleted a handful of posts that I’d fallen behind on here on the blog instead of trying to play “catch up”.   I hate it when I have to do that, but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and a good deal of weight is lifted off my shoulders when I let go of the “catch up” and just start from now.

Beltane 2021

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Tomorrow is Beltane, which is also my sister and I’s birthday. Like Halloween is a time when the veil between the land of the living and the realm of the dead is thin, this holiday is the time when the veil between our world and that of the Fae is at is thinnest.  I personally often find myself amped up with extra energy around this time of year, which I most often use to spend more time playing in that thinning veil as much as possible.

Faylander Art Card, Pagan Underworlds Tarot, Compendium of Witches Oracle, Healing Herbal Cards Vol. 1 & 2

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are sure to be  some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of Litha in June.

Theme of the Season – Beltane, Waning Gibbous Moon, Chrysanthemum parthenium (Ornamental Feverfew) – The energies of Beltane are those of celebration and anticipation, fertility and abundance.  This holiday is about the plentiful and fruitful peak of the spring season.   As “April showers bring May flowers” here we now celebrate the arrival of may and the wealth that the rainy season and warming weather have prepared to bestow upon us all.

The Waning Gibbous Moon is the first slow decent from the Full Moon’s burst of power. In that decreasing power, we pause now to take a moment to reflect and focus on gratitude.  Introspection is an important part of growth, and to do this it’s important to take time now to look at the goals that were set when the moon was new and that you have worked toward with the rising energy of the moon towards full.

Chrysanthemum parthenium (Ornamental Feverfew) is a fever reducer and anti-inflammatory that is used to treat fevers, migraines, arthritis, tummy troubles and even bug bites. It’s a common herb used for a wide variety of inflammatory responses in the body, and metaphysically it is commonly used in the prevention of accidents of all kinds as well as drawing pain from the body.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here is about pausing to enjoy.   Enjoy the spring and be grateful.  Enjoy the abundance… and be grateful.  Allow things to calm within yourself and within your life, and give yourself time to enjoy and relax.  Things will take care of themselves while you give yourself a bit of extra time to just savor and smell the roses. Don’t push so hard right now.

Earth – Ten of Pentacles –  You may be feeling a little tight in the wallet the past week or so, but you’re doing just fine.  All your bills and expenses are covered and you have the money you need for the security and stability you are constantly craving.  So take a breath and enjoy.  Yes, some weeks are tighter than others, but for the time being you are beyond worrying about where your next meal or bill payment is going to come from. You’ve worked hard to get to this point. Enjoy it.

Air – Six of Wands – Keep in mind that it’s okay to enjoy the approval and appreciation of others.  Yes, it’s important to take pride in yourself and not base your self-worth on other’s perceptions of you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy when people praise or admire you. Due to the upbringing you went through this can sometimes be hard to accept, but it really is okay to get that “warm fuzzy” feeling when someone gives you a compliment.

Water – The Devil – The imagery in this card brings to mind the Sidhe King Dagda in Peadar O’Guilin‘s books The Call and The Invasion. Sometimes are hearts desires call to us even beyond the reality of the realm we live in.  There is a longing for more and more, no matter how good the current moment might be.  Don’t get so caught up in that pursuit of more that you lose sight of the present and all the good that’s there to be enjoyed.

Fire – Ten of Cups – You’ve become sinking back into the pleasure of creating and enjoying it again, something that you haven’t had a lot of over the past year or so.  Having L and Z there to share the joy and enjoyment with is finally becoming something comfortable instead of something you struggle against.  Make sure you take time to truly appreciate what you all have together in your mutual endeavors.

Waning – Ruins atop Oath – Stop worrying so much about dropping the ball on your responsibilities and obligations.

Waxing – Bee atop Sprout –  Over the next few weeks, new ideas and endeavors are the flavor of the season. Put your effort and energy into giving these new sprouts what they need to flourish and grow strong.

Take Away – Lots of advice about gratitude, and lots of reminders about savoring what you have in the present.  Although this is a time of reflection and healing, it also is providing the opportunity to explore new things and get new ideas off the ground and running.  Just make sure that you choose wisely what you want to put that energy into and don’t overwhelm yourself in the process.

DECKS USED:  FAYLANDER ART CARD, PAGAN UNDERWORLDS TAROT, COMPENDIUM OF WITCHES ORACLE, HEALING HERBAL CARDS VOL 1 & 2

Morning Bonus Read – Throat Center

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Brugel Tarot

My Throat Center Energy Right Now

Ten of Swords – You’re on the cusp of a transformation concerning how you communicate with others. But right now it just feels like you can’t say a damned thing right. It’s sort of like Mercury Rx, except that you’re learning from your mistakes and will use them in that transformation to adapt to a better method as you grow.

Tension I’m Currently Holding In This Area

The Sun – There’s been a good deal of pressure from the cards (and spirit guides through the cards) to be happy and really sink into the feelings of joy you experience, as well as to express that joy with others. The thing is, you’re not quite there in your growth yet, so this pressure feels a bit premature.

How I Can Release This Tension

King of Pentacles atop Queen of Swords – Suit yourself.  Take the advice being given as just that, advice.  Take it as a heads up on what’s coming instead of a push for the change to happen right this minute.  Do your own thing, work at it a little at a time.  There’s no rush.

How I Can Better Express Myself

Eight of Pentacles – You’re on the right path. Just keep working at it. Communication and it’s different avenues and intricacies takes time and practice to improve at.  Some people are more natural at it at others.  You’re one of those that needs to work at it.  To others it might seem like one of your strong suits, but in truth it’s something you’ve worked hard at all your life, and will continue to struggle and learn as you go, perfecting and adjusting with each step along the way.

Something I Must Accept As Truth

Knight of Wands atop Death – Organic change is something you can always see coming if you’re paying attention, but you haven’t been paying attention. You’ve been off in your own little world doing your own shit and not watching where you’re going. Be present and pay closer attention to what you’re doing and where you’re going, and as a result the changes and adaptations you go through as you move forward will go a lot more smoothly.

How Can I Follow My Life’s Purpose

Four of Pentacles – Focus on staying grounded and on steady footing as the world moves around you, like a tree stands still and strong in the winds and seasons of the years that pass.  You can revel in those seasons, in the storms and the wind, the sunlight and the rain… but stand strong and stand tall.  Stay rooted.  Everything else will flow and you will adapt as you go.

DECK USED:  BRUEGEL TAROT

Cut And Run? Maybe Not

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was one of the Calm app’s guided meditations.  As usual, I combined that with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches, and I included extra forearm flexor stretches as well as my arms have been feeling a bit tight lately.

The focus of today’s meditation was a bit weird today.  I didn’t really understand it.  It was about posing the question “what is this?” into your meditation, but not directed toward any one thing.  More to open up a sense of curiosity and linger in it?

I’m not sure if this is something I’m capable of doing without having a target for that curiosity, and I feel that I didn’t really manage to do the meditation properly, although I did manage to meditate regardless by focusing on my breath and the waterdrop tones that I had playing in the background.

Cent Proverbes Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of moving on to a better place not due to frustration or irritation (that would be the Eight of Cups), but rather in the seeking of something healthier and better than what you’ve left behind. This makes this card’s theme one of transition and change, and leaving one’s baggage behind to begin anew.

What I see in the imagery of this card today is fear and escape, which fits well with the theme of the Six of Swords.  In the imagery we see a home, perhaps a vineyard or farm, that has been taken over by militia men.  The owner sees what is happening and is fearful, he seeks to slip away and sneak off… escape the chaos before things go from bad to worse.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message that I see in these cards is that it’s important to evaluate when it’s time to cut and run, and when to stand your ground and ride it out. Don’t underestimate your strength in these moments, and if something is truly important to you, don’t run from the responsibility or the conflict that might come from standing your ground in those moments.

DECK USED:  CENT PROVERBES TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The #httSelfImprovementTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: Where do I need to be more nurturing to myself?

My Garden Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lots of earth, lots of grounding (Queen of Coins), lots of nurturing (The Empress)… take your time (Temperance)

Take Away:  I need to step away from trying so hard to balance everything and give myself some forest bathing time.  Temperance, earth, and grounding, when combined together?  100% equals forest bathing.  Not a hike where you push your body and work hard… temperance.  A slow meander, some quiet alone time.  Perhaps some time lying in a bed of moss watching cedar fronds sway and clouds shift above them.  Regardless.  Where I need to be more nurturing is in allowing myself more time to get out in nature, and truly take my time and savor my time there.

DECK USED:  MY GARDEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is Divinity?

Cent Proverbes TarotReading Summary:  Individual (Nine of Pentacles). Guidance (Three of Wands). Wisdom (King of Swords).

Take Away: In these cards, Divinity is something that is unique and different for each person, and yet universally something that provides both guidance and wisdom when needed.

Although each and every person may experience Divinity differently, what we see here is that beneath all of those different opinions and experiences, there is a universal truth in that guidance and wisdom remains when all the differences are rinsed away.

DECK USED:  CENT PROVERBES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Late night super hot play session with Gideon.  No more need be said.

Support Systems and Strength

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  I had planned to feed Luna then go on into the other room and meditate, but as soon as I was moving around the apartment apparently I was fair game for every little thing that everyone needed to talk to me about.  It just didn’t get done because by the time I got a few minutes to myself?  It was time to get online and spend some time with Gideon.  SO yeah.  No meditation today.

Cute Cat Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotional satiety that goes beyond just self satisfaction and spreads to a harmony with others.

The key to this card and what moves it beyond the solitary satisfaction of the Nine of Cups, is that it is about how your satisfaction and positive emotions are shared with others.  Just as what we see here in the card is three cats… instead of one.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that no man is an island unto themselves.

Being strong isn’t just about you.  It’s about who you choose to surround yourself in, and the choice to allow these people in your life to have an active part in helping achieve happiness, harmony, and enjoyment in the every day.  It’s about letting them in and allowing them to help when you need help.   It’s the support system that you build for yourself that helps create the happiness and resilience needed to stand tall in even the biggest of storms.

DECK USED:  CUTE CAT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  What energy am I attracting in my life at this time?

Marziano Tarot

Reading Summary:  Consumerism over gratitude (Nine of Phoenixes), hedonism (Bacco), and sorting things out in your head (Five of Eagles).

Take Away:  Reevaluation of my more “freewheeling” tendencies (which are all consumerism based).   The energy that I’m attracting into my life at this time is all about looking at what I’m doing and weighing its value.  Where am I placing my energy, my attention, and my money?  What is diverting my attention away from a mindset of gratitude.  What am  I hiding from that I am using these things to distract myself?  It’s time to start digging and find the answers to these questions.

DECK USED:  MARZIANO TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What kind of person do you truly want to become?

Cute Cat TarotReading Summary:  Capable (Magician). Serene and comfortably wise in the area of my personal emotions and those of others (King of Cups atop The World).  Well balanced (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is a glimpse of what I hope to accomplish through the emotional growth that I am exploring in myself at this time and have been working to foster in  myself over the past year or so.

With this growth I hope to become more confident in my ability to understand and accept my emotions, and understand and react to the emotions of others.  I also hope to find a better way to balance the softer sides of myself and the harder more cutthroat sides of my nature.

DECK USED:  CUTE CAT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Gid and I had a talk today about our balance between the Dominance and submission and other aspects of our intimate relationship.  It felt… really good. I’m not sure if he feels the same, but I feel like we aired some stuff that hadn’t been aired before and that I’m really glad to have heard and now know.