tarot reading

Self Worth and Personal Values

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s orders day and I’m trying that new schedule I mentioned in a previous post.

Undersea Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally about “evening the scales” of life, repercussions as a result of one’s actions, and themes that have to do with law and the justice system. This is often known as the “backlash” card, whether that backlash is directed at you or somewhere else, and can often come up as a reminder to pay attention to what you’re doing and whether it has the potential for unpleasant consequences.

That last bit above is what I see in today’s card, especially when combined with the Thera-Pets card for today.

Sometimes when we’re feeling low or are having a hard time, it can be really difficult to stick to the demands of our values and moral compass. This is because when we are unable to value ourselves or see the impact we make upon the world around us, it can be difficult to see any value in our moral compass and what it has to say.  In the image we see the merman hold his sword high, the blade gleaming brightly in the sunlight.  I see this sword as those values, and that gleam of light upon it as our reminder of just how important our values and moral compass is… even when we’re feeling worthless.

The message here is in remembering that we have worth.  We -always- have worth, and our values have worth as well.  Don’t abandon them when feeling low, but instead seek out those that help you remember that you hold value. By remembering this, and by sticking to our values and moral compass even at our lowest… we avoid dropping the sword into the sea and perhaps accidentally cutting off our tail in the process.

DECK USED:  UNDERSEA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: What role does frustration play in my life?

Rainbow Unicorn Tarot

Reading Summary: Frustration makes me act rashly (The Fool), and will compound upon itself (Ten of Wands) until I’m feeling beaten down and on the defensive (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  I think that this is pretty common for everyone.  I act at my most rash when I’m frustrated, because frustration creates impatience with myself and the world around me.  The problem is that there’s no real cap on this emotion.  It builds on itself and builds and builds.  Sooner or later it turns into a snarling mess of “leave me the fuck alone”.

DECK USED:  RAINBOW UNICORN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What qualities do you possess that others value most about you?

Undersea TarotFive of Swords – My abilities at survival. This one is something that those closest to me value most.  It has to do with continue to keep moving, keep striving, and keep surviving even after serious hurdles and savage setbacks cut me off at the knees. Even then, I continue to survive and thrive.

Eight of Swords – My ability to pull away the blindfold. This is, most often, not an intentional thing or even a conscious one.  It involves speaking something that seems simple and mediocre, but ends up extremely profound and eyeopening to someone else.  It is how I ended up with Gideon… it is how I have managed to support many people I care about even while struggling with not being particularly skilled socially.  Most of the time I don’t even realize I’ve done it unless someone points it out later at some point.  I’ve had enough people make a point of letting me know it’s happened, though, to be aware that it is an ability, even if one hidden from my own eyes and awareness in the moment.

Ace of Tridents – My ability to inspire. I’m not a cheerleader… or much of any kind of leader, to be honest.  It’s not that sort of inspiration I speak of here.  But rather, it’s the ability to inspire people to explore their passions, to seek out what they enjoy and revel in it, and to dive into those things that spark interest and enthusiasm.

DECK USED:  UNDERSEA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I called and made an appointment to talk to my doc over the phone tomorrow about some concerns I need eased before I’ll be ready to get vaccinated.

Morning Bonus Read – Third Eye Reading

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Magic Tarot - Third Eye Tarot Reading

My Third Eye Energy Right Now

King of Cups – If you want full use of your intuition, you need to allow your emotions free reign.  They are connected and you know this.  Own your emotions and don’t spend time trying to deny them.  Get comfortable in their presence instead of shirking away.  This card is not so much about where you are now, but about what you need now in this area.

Tension I’m currently holding in this area.

Knight of Coins – You are looking at everything as work and progress. It’s holding you back from experiencing things fully in the moment when you constantly look at everything as another step forward.

How I can release this tension.

Knight of Cups – Spend more time in the now. Enjoy the moment instead of constantly planning and plotting your way forward again and again.  More time stopping to smell the roses will connect you more closely to what brings you pleasure and that, in turn, will make your connection to your emotions and intuition stronger.

A message from my intuition.

The Chariot – Stop fucking around. Plotting and planning, scheming and strategizing.  You’re doing everything except moving forward because all this extraneous shit is holding you up and holding you back.  Snap the reigns and start moving into your growth instead of hedging at it.

Something my dreams are trying to tell me.

Page of Cups – Again, don’t forget that your emotions and your intuition are intimately connected. This reading is filled with Cups for a reason.  As you learn and grow in your emotional growth, so too will your intuition grow.

Something about my psychic abilities I should explore.

Nine of Cups –  Don’t worry about it right now.  As noted above, as you learn and grow through your emotional growth, so too will your intuition grow. This is a natural evolution.  You’ve spent a long time developing your intuition and your trust in it.  Allow it to strengthen and appreciate what it adds to your life.  Gratitude… not grasping.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

The Myth of Perfection

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Today’s meditation was skipped because people are rude as fuck.  ‘Nuff said.

Cosmic Cycles Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of worries, anxieties, insomnia, and nightmares. It indicates the issues that come from the mind’s nagging negative tendencies.

One of my biggest and most significant personal struggles in my life is the “not enough” theme of inner narrative. Directed only at myself and my own performance, this narrative tells me that anything I ever do could have been better if I’d just invested more into it. In that vein, nothing I do is ever enough, and thus I am never enough.

This is my own personal inner demon. Perhaps others can relate. When I see today’s card combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, I see a reminder that that inner narrative, that demon that haunts me, is a lie. Not everything has to be perfect. What matters is you’re trying and the effort and intent put in, not how “perfect” or “imperfect” the end result might be.

DECK USED:  COSMIC CYCLES TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with worry?

Ink Stained Tarot

Reading Summary: Use logic to stand strong (King of Swords) and fight back against the invasion (Seven of Wands). Don’t allow it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  Worry and anxiety are often illogical in nature.  They creep in and whisper all these different things in our mind that could go wrong or could happen.  But none of these things are based in reality, and none of them are set in stone.  The future is fluid and even those able to predict the future can’t do so with 100% accuracy, as every little thing in life transforms and changes the trajectory of our path and that of other’s paths as well.   That means the unexpected can and will happen… and that predicted future will adjust and change as a result. 

The thing is, though?  If you continue to constantly worry about something, it’s much like when you stare at something while driving.   As you stare at that something, you unconsciously steer towards it.  This is why so many learning drivers end up in ditches or bumping against cement barriers and curbs.  They’re so focused on not hitting the thing… that they hit the thing.  This too happens with worry and anxiety.  We become so focused upon whatever we’re worried about that we bring it into existence through our focus.

Therefore the answer is that to better cope with worry, remind yourself of these things.  Remind yourself of what that focus can do, and how illogical it is what you’re worrying about really is.

DECK USED:  INK STAINED TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is happiness?

Cosmic Cycles TarotKnight of Wands: Happiness is not a set and stagnant thing.  Instead it is different for everyone.  For some it is having something to work and strive for that sparks their inner passion and drive.

The Fool: For others, it is abandon and freedom that at times backfires, but always creates a sense of adventure to any situation.

Four of Swords atop Five of Swords: For still others it’s about peace and balance, and knowing when to stand your ground, and when it’s better to yield the field to others.

Take Away:   The common denominator between all three of these themes is one of positive energy.  Positive energy creates happiness, no matter which scenario it is applied to or what preferences individuals have towards what their own personal happiness entails. Happiness is positive energy.

DECK USED:  COSMIC CYCLES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took the time to use my ice pack today in conjunction with an ibuprofen to help ease the raging anger and inflammation in my back.

Too Much Armor Is Too Heavy

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IMG_1076Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was one of the guided meditations from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches and forearm flexor stretches.  This often works really well for me as it allows me to listen to the guided meditation, then extend the length a bit afterward to continue until the stretching is finished.

The focus of today’s meditation was about emotional reclamation. That is to say about not rejecting your emotions or feeling ashamed about them, but accepting them as they come and learning how to understand them and process them in a healthy way.  I really liked the Mr Rogers quote included in this meditation, which you can see in the graphic on the right.  It really speaks to me of how I’ve viewed and dealt with my emotions in the past, and the path forward to finding a better way in the present and the future.

Isabel Snail Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. This often translates into themes that have to do with emotional support and those in your life that are good listeners or are there for you on an emotional level.

Here we see Isabel Snail studying the book “Compassion 101” while chilling at the seashore with a cocktail.  To me the imagery here is a perfect representation of what this card is all about, for it is through the self assured Queen of Cups in our lives that are comfortable with their own emotions that we learn how to understand and process ours.  These people are kind and compassionate, and willing to help support you and teach you through their own experiences how to navigate the watery uncertainty of an emotional landscape.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about making sure we’re not rejecting help when it’s being offered. It’s great to be able to take on challenges head-on and push forward, but not if it’s going to bury your emotions in doing so.  Sometimes?  Having a Queen of Compassion on your side to keep you in touch with your emotions can help ensure that you don’t put on so much armor that you end up fighting alone… and lonely.

DECK USED:  ISABEL SNAIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Where can I find the energy to sustain myself when I am struggling?

Miracle Tarot by Reiko Shimizu

Reading Summary: When in need of rest and recovery (Four of Swords), you need to slow down and conserve your energy (Knight of Swords Rx). Speak plainly during these times, whether this is in your thoughts or in communication with others (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: Beating around the bush is not your strong suit in the first place, and when you’re struggling and low on energy, trying to do so can be extremely draining.  People are used to your practical, logic-leaning brain and they are rarely taken by surprise when you’re blunt or speak plainly, so when you are feeling you need to rest and recover?  Stop trying to soften your words and beat around the bush. Just speak clearly and it’ll sort itself out just fine.

DECK USED:  MIRACLE TAROT BY REIKO SHIMIZU

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you go about adding more fun and play into your life?

Isabel Snail TarotReading Summary: Don’t spend so much time struggling to balance responsibility (King of Thorns) with overwhelm (Ten of Wands).  Find a better path (Three of Wands).

Take Away: This is the fatal flaw in my balancing act, yeah? For a really long time, instead of trying to balance home and work… I was trying to balance responsibilities and my sense of overwhelm. Although this allowed me to get a great deal done? It didn’t allow for any personal time at all, let alone time for things like fun and games.

In the past couple of years I’ve been working at finding a better path, and keeping my focus on a balance between self care and work instead of work and overwhelm. This has allowed for me to care more for myself and fill some of those needs I have been neglecting so long.   The Three of Wands indicates that this same path can also be used to find time for play.  I only have to look for the fun and it will be there for me, ready and waiting to come with me on the journey forward.

DECK USED:  ISABEL SNAIL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap even though I wanted to spend that time with Gideon.  I was having some stomach issues and the nap seemed to help a bit, or maybe it was the Imodium… or both.

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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Art Nouveau Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Anchor – Grounding is going to be very important to your peace of mind this month. When life is feeling a bit out of control, be sure to fall back into this practice, as making sure that you are well grounded will help a great deal in insuring that you make decisions that remain aligned with your hearts and truths, as well as your moral compass.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Bear – Be fierce. Be strong. There are a lot of ways to deal with anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and depression. This month?  Don’t take that shit lying down. Protect what’s yours and stand strong in the face of the opposition and perceived problems. This doesn’t mean treating yourself badly or taking for granted your need for your own self care, it means you do what needs done to keep yourself steady and strong.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Tower – Isolation and alone time gives you the connection to your inner magic needed to create and manifest.  When you don’t get enough of this healthy alone time where you can hole up and just be, then you begin to loose your enthusiasm for creative endeavors and manifestation powers.   When you start to feel that loss, it’s time to step away and retreat to your place of peace and quiet, give yourself some alone time to set your energies back to right again.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Clover – Luck!  Not the long term kind, but the kind that comes in short bursts just when you need it.  Don’t anticipate the worst and allow for self fulfilling prophesies to become reality.  Instead, allow yourself to anticipate that luck is on your side this month and is going to pounce in to lend a hand when you need a bit of extra help.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Broom – Lean in.  Use that remarkable focus and drive to overcome these moments. Remember that you  have a lot of experience with struggle and strife to fall back on to help you in moving forward.  You may not escape unscathed, but you are well prepared with will power and determination, and you can do it if you put your mind to it.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Moon – Out of the darkness of the depression you went through in the early part of the year, this month you will find yourself free to feel once more. Emotions are rising to the surface

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Mice – Remember that your emotions and your intuition are intimately connected.  When one is stifled, so is the other.  When one is thriving, as this card indicates will be the case this week… so too will the other. Make sure that you don’t struggle against the rise of emotions, or you will end up muffling your intuition in the process.  Burying your emotions has always seemed quite harmless and even beneficial for the most part, but it’s not.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU LENORMAND

Generosity Is For All

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day.  I think I’m going to fit this in as a regular thing, as I’m wondering if it will help me in finding a better balance and not avoiding my meditation if on the days when I am the absolute most busy (Mondays and Thursdays) I just skip the meditation entirely and don’t feel guilty about it.

We’ll give it a try this month and see how it goes.

Good Karma Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of generosity, sharing, equality, and finding balance through distribution of wealth and/or privilege.

It’s the last of those (distribution of wealth) that I see here in this card.  Between the two figures grows a money tree, and it’s not clear in the imagery who the tree belongs to  Nor is it clear in the imagery who the coin belongs to.  Is it being given from left to right?  Or was it handed over from right to left?

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that generosity isn’t just for others. It’s also for the self.

We, as humans, need a certain amount of self care. It’s a necessity.  This does not make us weak, nor should we be looking at others and being understanding of their needs… and yet harsh with ourselves for our own.  Your needs are just as valid as everyone else’s, so stop beating yourself up for that nap, or meditation, or break, or little extra bit of self care you do for yourself, or want to do but keep fighting against. Be as generous with yourself as you are with others. You deserve that self care and generosity just as much as others do.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with my times of deep depression?

Conference of the Birds Tarot

Reading Summary: Use that time to learn a new skill that you were passionate enough to write down in your ideas book (Knave of Wands), and lean on others for help (Three of Pentacles). Keep your eye on the prize (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  Unlike sadness (which is what this question originally referenced), depression is a condition that you can’t just lift yourself out of. It’s something you have to ride out. I my case, it has a distinct pattern to it.  A descent, a brief pause at the bottom of the pit, and then a slow climb back up to normal. This pattern takes about 2-3 months to complete.

The advice here is that during this time, when I realize that the onset and descent is upon me, dip into my ideas book and pick out an idea that I was passionate enough to write down, and begin to explore that skill.   These 2-3 months become “lost time” later, where the entirety of the time is wiped from my memory, but the skills learned will remain like muscle memory.  So in a way, it would be like osmosis.  Like coming out of the depression is “waking up” and while I was “asleep” I learned a new skill.

Added to this is a reminder to ask for help.  Don’t just fall into the depressive pit and forget that others are there to help you in keeping everything going smoothly. All of the responsibility does not need to rest on your shoulders alone, and especially not during times when you’re struggling with depression.

The third piece of advice is about focus. It’s about making sure that I remember that the depression is only temporary, and that it won’t last forever.  Keep moving forward, keep looking for the light.  Keep climbing.  Don’t give up.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How would you benefit from adding more fun and play into your life?

Good Karma TarotReading Summary:  I would look at running my business in a new light (King of Wands atop Hanged Woman) and build stronger connections with those closest to me (Two of Cups) while still remaining in control of where I want things to go and leading the way for those others in my life to do the same (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: This sounds like such a good idea but I have such a hard block to the whole “Fun and Play” thing that it becomes really hard to view my business in this light, regardless of the fact that I enjoy making jewelry and most everything involved in that. 

I understand that changing my perspective will relieve a good deal of stress I carry on my shoulders, though, and give me a deeper connection with those that I work with (my sister and Z).  I’m just not entirely sure how to instill that sense of fun and play into the process without losing track of the control needed to make sure everything gets done and runs smoothly.   Which is where the Queen of Swords comes in, as this card indicates that there is indeed a way to do it and make it work, but it will take some effort and “building of experience” to get there.

DECK USED:  GOOD KARMA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took some time to chill with my flowers out on the balcony today even though it’s an orders day.  And I took an ibuprofen for my headache instead of just suffering with it and hoping it would go away on its own.