tarot journal

My Struggle With Balance and Moderation

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There was no meditation today, although I will make an effort to do it when I lie down tonight to go to bed.

Today’s draw is from a new deck, as I try to switch the deck out once a month (more if I’m just not getting what I need out of it, such as I did last month).  This month’s deck is starting with a newer deck in my collection, the Stolen Child Tarot by Monica L Knighton.   I do not have the guidebook for this deck (as it hasn’t been finished yet), so all my interpretations of the artwork are just that, completely my own, as I have no input from the artist about their work to share at this time.

I would like to share the “theme” of the deck with you, though.   It is based after a poem by William Butler Yeats called “The Stolen Child“.

Come away, Oh human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can understand.

Ok…. so onward to the draw for today.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Flame, which traditionally is a representation of transitioning cycles, regeneration, endings and renewals in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passions.

In the picture for this card, you see a leopard boy looking very grown up, quite stern, and in control.  The leopard body is in repose while the human is erect and strong, a visage of a smaller cat aflame in the corner.

Intuitively speaking, this card speaks of control and strength of will, and that is the message that I draw from this card.   My inner beast is one that is often preoccupied with wants and needs in the form of pleasure pursuits and expressions of my creativity.  When I let it free, it can forget about practicalities and responsibilities if allowed to do so.   Today’s draw is a reminder to seek balance, but not so much control that you torch that inner spark that finds life so much fun.

It is the message of moderation that we spoke about earlier today, and you know just how much difficulty I have with moderation…. no matter if it is moderating that controlling workaholic self, or the fun and creative side.  Either way, this is something that I struggle with quite a bit, and so it’s not surprising that it is a recurring theme in my self care spreads and daily draws.   It helps that I incorporate a lot of my creative energies into my work, but yet that balance is still a struggle.

Today’s card is a reminder of the need for that, though, and an encouragement to keep at it.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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SCS

Week five of accountability.  This is definitely working out for me, and I will continue it past the end of August.  Today, I would not have gotten my journaling done on this spread at all without the accountability of needing to post it here.  I’m well aware of that and that the reason I did it is because it needed to get put up here on the blog.

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Body – Four of Candles – Now is a time to focus on the progress made.  Do not let what is predictably a slow two weeks each year drag you down.  Celebrate how far you’ve come instead.

Mind – Five of Tomes – Don’t let worries and anxieties about finances and stability overrun me and blind me to options and methods that are there to assist when needed.

Emotions – Explorer of Bells – As the Five of Tomes speaks of keeping the mind open to possibilities and options, this one speaks of keeping oneself open to lessons of the “heart”.  Do not close yourself off, just make good choices.

Inner Spark – Nine of Bells – Do not let the cacophony of self doubt over the next week stunt your progress, no matter how distracting it may be.

Moving Away From – Subdrop… and thank god for that.  The feeling of being swallowed whole bhy the drop will soon pass.

Heading Toward – Self doubt and overly critical thinking directed at the self, especially in relation to my business and finances.

Moral of the Story – Relax and Breathe… It’s going to be okay.

Untitled-1Side note on last week’s Self Care Saturday:

You see this card from last week?  You see that devil there, invisible but on the leash?   I know what that is now.

That is the motherf’king subdrop… walking so nicely beside me, hidden but there. But it’s not on a leash at all. Just when I thought I had it under control, it jumped up and bit me on the ass.

Just sayin’.

Decks Used: Numinous Tarot, Dixit Quest Expansion Pack #2

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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SCS

Week four of accountability.  And… I think this is working out for me really well.  Even though I am tempted to take the picture and set aside my journal for later, because I know I need to make this post on the day after my Self Care Saturday, I have more discipline to get it done in my journal (and apparently, to catch up on other entries as well such as Thursday’s full moon entry).

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

I did end up switching out the oracle, as I’d said last week I was planning to do.  I chose the Dixit cards Quest expansion pack for the oracle to go with the Numinous Tarot, and I feel it is a really good fit.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Body – Explorer of Vials – It is important to bring into focus the issue of eating your feelings and take an active role in making healthy choices both emotionally and physically in order to stay healthy.

Mind – Ace of Vials – This is about our new play and allowing it to inspire, as well as the closeness and bond created as we explore this new idea.

Emotions – The Visionary & Seven of Bells – Seek truth and lift the veil on blurry confusion by connecting more deeply within my spiritual practice.  Use what I know to seek out clarity and support my own truths.

Inner Spark – The Moon – This card plays back to that of the two above, with the addition of intuition. Everything is not as clear as it could be… everything is not as it seems.  Be certain to perceive from a place of knowledge blended with intuition to find the path through to clarity.

Moving Away From – Viewing things from an external perspective.  Instead seek inner knowing and inner truth.

Heading Towards – Hidden truths.  PAY ATTENTION!! That which is hidden walks right beside you.  Awareness breeds control.

Decks Used: Numinous Tarot, Dixit Quest Expansion Pack #2

 

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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SCS

Week three of accountability on my Self Care Saturday spread in order to foster the motivation to write it down instead of just reading the spread, taking a picture, and moving on.

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook.  This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

Usually, I use the same deck for a full month, but I switched out decks.  I love the Anna K and it’s colors and imagery and funny little faces.   BUT, I just received the Numinous Tarot and I was really feeling the urge to use it.   I think I will be keeping it for the rest of the month, although I might change the oracle for something that feels like a better pairing.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Body – Ace of Tomes – “The actions you are taking now, the plans you are creating, have the potential to become important future traditions.” (quoted from the deck’s guidebook) Plan Carefully!

Mind – Nine of Candles – Persistence and Resilience. Strength gained through experience. Now is a time to utilize what life’s lessons have taught you.

Emotions – Two of Candles – (Intuitive Hit) It’s okay to be vulnerable. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Inner Spark – Ten of Candles – Do not weigh yourself down with too much at once.  There is nothing wrong with taking your time and doing one thing at a time.

Moving Away From – Duality – Less multi-tasking… better focus? (the latter part is more wishful thinking than anything read in the cards)

Heading Toward – Burden – Here is why it is time to slow down, do careful planning, stay strong, and take good care of self.  Easing up on the multitasking, and being sure to bolster my confidence and take care of myself, will assist in lessening the sense of overwhelm that appears when my responsibilities are feeling like a burden.

From the fact that nearly this entire reading was in the Candles suit (aka Wands suit), the message is primarily concerning my ambitions, passions, and drive.

Moral of the Story – Be Kind to Yourself…. and make good choices!

Decks Used: Numinous Tarot, Shamanic Healing Oracle

 

Old Habits Die Hard

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and fifty six seconds, and focused on dealing with failure.  Everyone deals with failure from time to time, and the key to moving past it is to look at failures as a lesson to be learned, rather than internalizing failure into a reflection of you and your worth.

My mindset on doing something… anything, really, is that I will push myself as hard as I can.  Try my best to do the very best that I can.   That way, IF I end up failing, I can’t look back and say “Well, that was a waste of time.  I could have done better.”     Instead, when I fail, I can look back and see where I can improve and either make changes to my approach the next time or accept that perhaps what I was striving for just wasn’t meant for me.    Because I gave it my all, there is no doubt that I “could have done better” somehow.  I know that I did my best.

I think if more people looked at things in this way, there would be far less people out there “half assing” shit.  And far less people putting themselves down when they eventually fail at something.

This isn’t to say that I don’t get bummed sometimes when I stumble across failure.  I do.  But it’s extremely rare that I internalize it as a reflection on me on a personal level.

In the guided meditation, failure was presented as an opportunity for growth, but also as something you separate yourself from (much like rejection was approached in a recent Supportive Tarot topic).   In this approach, you work to view failure not as a reflection on YOU personally (ie: your personality or worth), but rather a failure of the method.

Today’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is a representation of a projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.

A lot of times in readings I see this card as the charmer in the bar, full of flattery and lacking substance.  Or rather, his aim in the moment lacks substance, right?  He’s not after the long term, he just wants to feel good and in the process, his emotional manipulations and machinations will make -you- feel good too… for the time being, anyway.

This card, of course, represents far more than that, and I don’t think that is the message in the card today.

Today, the Knight of Cups is telling me to get in touch with my emotions.  Emerging from the subdrop, sometimes I find myself backsliding into  my old stand-by habits of closing myself off emotionally.    Today’s card is a reminder to actively keep an eye on this and stay open… to you, to others, and to the world at large.

 

 

Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot 2019 (Part 4)

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Today, I’m again returning to another installment of Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot challenge. But, I need to revisit the question I answered in my last response, first before moving on to the newer questions.

The question (#13) had been From the Major Arcana Cards, what card correlates to your sun, moon and rising sign? How has that resonated or played out in your life?

I realized today, while spending hours driving, that I neglected a very STRONG correlation between my sun,  moon, and rising signs and myself, and how they resonate in my life.

As mentioned, my sun sign (relating to personality) is Taurus, my moon sign (relating to emotions and inner self) is Scorpio, and my rising sign (related to how others perceive me) is Gemini.

Well so here we have the sun sign of Taurus, and the element that corresponds to Taurus is earth.  From my botany studies to my green thumb, my love of nature and the green to the way I see the world as a whole, this is the element that I most relate to.  Earth and the green are an integral part of -me-.

My moon sign, Scorpio, corresponds to the element of water.  This is the element of emotions and is my refuge.  When our D/s becomes intense and you take me into that space that so many call “sub space”, I call it “drowning”.   I find comfort in the embrace of water, whether swimming or floating, or just curled up in the bottom of the bathtub with the shower running.  I love the rain, and I’ve always found myself attracted to crystals that are water associated, such as amethyst, moonstone, labradorite, aquamarine, tourmaline, pearls, and selenite (although I hate working with the last one in jewelry).

Lastly we have my ascending (rising) sign, which is Gemini.   This sign corresponds to the element of air, which is in turn related to thoughts, judgements, logic, and the mind.  I’ve been told from time to time that I’m often perceived as “stand off-ish” and intelligent.  The one that stands back and takes everything in before choosing the right path for me.  I am fanatical about fairness and balance.   These are all qualities of that element.

Okay, and now onto a few new questions…

  1. Which tarot decks give you the most insight by way of the imagery and symbology of the cards rather than intuition or basic tarot knowledge.
    I’ve mentioned this deck before, but hands down this would have to be the Tarot of the Hidden Realms. I have never encountered a deck that spoke to me like this one does. In fact, when using it I find that my basic tarot knowledge is often the last thing that I tap into. With this deck in particular, it is all about the imagery which includes everything from the main images and facial expressions to the backgrounds, color schemes, and “mood” the artwork portrays.
  2. What is in your Tarot ‘to-go’ bag? Your Tarot travel bag.
    I actually prefer not to take my tarot or oracle decks with me when I travel. Instead, I pack playing cards and use them as an alternate, and I own a handful of decks that are specifically for this purpose. I also do not take my journals with me, but I will take notes on my phone instead.
    The reason for this is because I was raised to understand that there are some places I may travel and some people I will meet that will have such a strong adverse reaction to my faith (and items of my faith such as the tarot, pentagrams, etc) as to put me in danger. Thus, those items stay home and more innocuous items (that can be used for the same purpose) are taken in their place.
  3. What Tarot card in the deck do you look out for the most when you get a new deck? If you don’t like that card does it ruin the deck for you?
    The Hanged Man, the Two of Pentacles, and The Moon. Honestly, I check out these cards prior to ever purchasing a deck. With the internet, it’s usually pretty easy to get a look. There are times when the appearance of these cards could cause me to reject buying a deck, but most of the time, I can work with a deck even if these three cards aren’t as desirable as I’d want them to be.
  4. What is your favorite way to Tarot Journal? Planners, apps, bullet journals?
    For my daily draws, I do them here on the blog to share with you.
    I also have a yearly tarot/spirituality journal, which in the past has always been kept in a spiral bound sketch journal. I’ve been considering changing over to using a bullet journal system next year though, as I would not be stuck drawing lines on pages to keep my text straight. I’ve also been considering using the discbound system of journals, which I could still use in a bullet journal format. I need to find somewhere I can actually play with one in person and see how it feels in my hands, because I worry that structure won’t be secure enough for my liking.
    I have a “tarot study and spreads” journal that is in a Leuchtturm 1917 bullet journal.
    I’ve also recently begun the process of re-interviewing my decks. For this, I’m using a couple of lined CR Gibson journals, so that I can have one book for tarot and lenormand, and another for oracle decks and other systems. I have several of this particular journal, which will allow me to add a third or fourth as needed, if I overflow the first two in my re-interviewing process (which will happen eventually, because I use a two-page spread for the interviews).

So far, this is Part 4 of the series. Here is Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 for easy reference.

I’ll make another post in a few days to continue on with more questions in the challenge.