tarot journal

New Moon in Cancer – June 2020

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New Moon in Cancer 2020 Tarot Spread

Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. How can I feed my soul during this moon cycle?

Knight of Pentacles – Keep in mind that the things worth having take time.  Foster patience in your expectations and in your actions as well.  It’s okay to take your time and take things at a slower pace right now.

2. What have I been hiding that needs to come forward?

Ten of Swords – I’m hurting myself with the expectations that I put upon myself.  My inner critic is far more vicious that I’ve been willing to admit to, and it’s becoming a detriment to my well-being. The blood drawn creates a perpetual cycle of exhaustion.

3. What needs to be tackled head-on?

Hierophant – Instead of focusing on the nebulous voice in my head that I can’t pin down, focus on what you can control and what you can do for yourself and others.  Don’t forget that the teacher is also a student.

The shield on the bird’s breast looks too big and too heavy.  It might be a good idea to take a look at all that you’ve taken on and do a little pruning, or take a break so that shield doesn’t feel quite so unwieldy.

4. How can I improve my relationships at this time?

Ace of Swords  – Share my thoughts and ideas instead of keeping them to myself.  Communicate what’s going on with me.  It’s okay to open up with those that you love and trust.

DECK USED:  DREAM RAVEN TAROT

Full Moon in Sagittarius – June 2020

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When the moon is full, its energies are at their peak. The placement of the moon in the sky this full moon is within the constellation of Sagittarius, which imbibes the full moon’s energies with that of the Sagittarius astrological sign. This places the theme of this month’s full Strawberry Moon as one of cresting energies surrounding enthusiasm and adventure, as well as one of intense sussing out of truths, often through the exploration of culture, philosophy, and religion.

This search for truth gives us an opportunity to reflect upon and acknowledge old wounds and internal struggles, to take ownership of these wounds, and to use the power of the moon to take back control. Then, as the moon’s energies wane over the next two weeks, we can then take those truths we have confronted and allow the moon’s waning energy to help us in discarding what no longer serves us.

Full Moon in Sagittarius Spread by Ethony

Yesterday was the full moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What impulses need taming?

Eight of Cups – As I struggle with difficult situations there is often an urge to just throw up my hands and say “fuck this” and walk away.  This is especially true when it comes to areas where emotional wounds are being poked and prodded. A number of readings I’ve done about the month ahead have spoken on a rise of emotional distress and discomfort.  The Eight of Cups here indicates I need to make sure I don’t retreat, but stick around and find a solution instead.

2. Where can I best direct my energy?

Wheel of Fortune – I would be best served by focusing my energies on staying centered.  There is a great deal of symmetry in this card, all surrounding that blue center point where the spinning wheel’s axis resides.   The message here is to be the axis rather than the chaos of the centripetal force.   Focus on staying centered and calm.

3. How can I best direct my aggression?

Five of Swords – Winning.  I should direct my aggression toward those tasks and projects that need an extra bit of “oomph” so that I do not allow them to make me feel overwhelmed but instead can use the energy and focus from my aggression to plow through them and come out on top.

4. How can I add a little spice to my life?

Temperance – Stop trying so hard.  This has to do with the posture of the angel, who does not hold vessels in their hands… and yet appears to be trying to regardless. If I want to add a little spice in my life, I need to remember to allow my hands to be empty and my time free to experience new things and joyous moments.

5. What spiritual and personal beliefs need re-examining?

The Empress – I don’t like this card today.   Something feels wrong about the monkey and the tiger and the exposed breast.   The message here is to be careful where you put your energies and who you trust.  Not everyone respects or deserves the energy that you put into helping and nurturing others.  Make sure that you are choosing the recipients of those pieces of yourself (and your time and energy as well) more wisely.

DECK USED:  LINESTRIDER TAROT

New Moon in Gemini – May 2020

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New Moon in Gemini May 2020

I have been putting these in my physical tarot journal, but after a few years of doing my tarot journal a certain way, I’m starting to feel it’s time to change things up.   As I’ve been using this blog to share my COTD (card of the day) pulls as well as my Self Care Saturday spreads, I thought maybe I would begin to transfer over to doing some of my other personal readings on here as well.    I still plan on keeping a physical tarot journal, I’m just starting to re-evaluate what I want to put the extra work into putting in it… vs placing here on this blog instead.

So… yesterday was the new moon, which is a time of new beginnings and looking forward with renewed energy.  The new moon’s placement in the sky puts the moon in the sun sign of Gemini for this new moon, which imbibes the new moon’s meaning and energies with that of the Gemini astrological sign.

This is the reading I did for the new moon yesterday. You will noticed that I have slightly rephrased a question or two in the spread.  This is to personalize the question to be clearer for my life or my personal understanding.

1. Where do I need to communicate more clearly?

This card is representative of my relationship with Gideon. I am his satellite… and he is mine. We are in a constant exchange of one trailing after the other, drawn by their gravity to constantly loop around and around… a constant companion. The Satellite card in this position is calling me out on the unnecessary silences that come when I am feeling vulnerable or out of sorts.

2. What truth needs to be recognized?

The appearance of the Pavo card in this position is also a nod to Gideon. It is about his watchful support and the depths of his protectiveness over me, the dedication he puts into my care and welfare.

Gideon… I hope that you know that I do recognize this and it is a part of you that I greatly cherish every day.  Over the past twelve years you have helped me to develop into the man that I am today, and your guidance and watchful protection has always been there for me to help me in feeling safe and secure as I move forward from each day to the next.

3. What drama do I need to step away from?

This has not manifested yet, but the Comet card indicates you will recognize the drama when it eventually comes into being through the synchronicity that surrounds it.   Pay attention to your what is going on around you in order to catch these moments of synchronicity and keep yourself from falling into drama that would be better avoided.

4. Where do I need to focus instead?

My mother.  Interesting for this to come up in relation to where to direct my focus instead of upon drama, as my mother is often right at the head of such dramas. Perhaps that is the point?

With the appearance of Aquila, the cards indicate my mother is the direction I need to look in.  Intuitively off of the imagery I see a need to look beneath the veil to find a truth.  This has to do to paying attention not to what she does or says, but to her underlying welfare and well-being.

This feels like a warning concerning drama that my mother will create in order to deflect my attention away from an underlying issue.

5. How can I put my inspiration into action?

Allow yourself room to feel safe and secure (Cirinus + Crux) even in the middle of moments when you need to lean into adaptation and adjustment (Chameleon).  Do what you can to connect with the earth (Cirinus + Crux), even when there is a possibility of adversity (Chameleon) and the responsibilities that you juggle feel like they are getting in the way (Sextans + Octans).

Note that there are tools for navigation here in both of the Earth cards.  The compass and the Sextans cards bracket the adaptability and adjustment of the Chameleon.  Ensure that you are remaining grounded and your plans are well thought out… do not just “wing it”.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

Tarot Self-Portrait

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My Entry for the Your Tarot Self-Portrait Challenge.
Just sneaking under the cut-off with only two days left to enter!

001

I have to watch out for the Gloominous Doom
As he likes to visit with his pit of gloom
My nearest and dearest know what to do
I depend on them to steer me true
[Faeries Oracle – Gloominous Doom]
One of the biggest recurring challenges of my life has been my depression. I had my first Major Depressive Episode at the age of fourteen and have had a number of them since. When not in an episode I deal with long-term dysthymia. I depend on my loved ones, and especially Gideon, to help me in keeping track of my mood levels and helping me identify when I appear to be slipping into that pit of a depressive episode as well as help me in finding my way back out of it again.

A survivor, I am
I fight the good fight
There is no swerving from battles or strife
Determination
Is how I confront the struggles in life
[Stolen Child Tarot – Five of Wands]
I am strong and determined. I don’t allow others to push me around or allow them to sway me from what I know is right… and what I know is mine. This card’s imagery is about determination and empowerment to me, and it speaks to that strength within me that demands that I stand strong and demand the best from myself and that others “toe the line” where I am concerned or pay the consequences.

002

Grounded and sure footed
I am who I am
My moral compass and inner voice
Guide me true
Again and again
[Earth Power Oracle – Magnetic North Pole]
I live my life by the guidance given by my moral compass and my intuition. Both of these aspects work together and speak to me through an inner “voice” that is never wrong. I have spent my life learning to better trust myself and that voice, and in doing so have become more and more grounded, and more and more sure of who I am and comfortable within my own skin. I know my weaknesses and my strengths, and am happy to share the lessons I have learned to help others find their own direction as well.

Sometimes this means
Putting on a fierce face
and plowing through obstacles
no matter the pain or the pace
[Tarot of the Hidden Realm – Ten of Swords]
My history is filled with obstacles and accidents, painful moments and instances that could easily be considered moments of victimization. Instead of allowing these moments or the residual effects of those moments to drag me down, I face these experiences with a snarl of force and determination, knowing that each of these experiences are going to hurt… but if I face them head on I will make it to the other side, having survived and ready to move on.

003

I juggle a lot
and I’m busy as a bee
Responsibilities require balance
that I appear to manage with ease
[Hush Tarot – Two of Pentacles]
I started adulthood at 16 when I emancipated from my parents, and signed a mortgage at 19. I have spent the majority of my adult life juggling at least four part time jobs and a home business, as well as sustaining a healthy relationship with my twin sister, a long-distance high-demand relationship with my partner Gideon, and a close friendship with my best friend. There is also self care, of which there is an excessive amount because of the need for daily physical therapy and occasional recreation, my spiritual path and my tarot practice. Most people would never guess that I juggle so much, or carry so much responsibility. I shoulder it all. I balance it all. The key to balance in life? Is flexibility. Scales are not still and stagnant. They sway… and like those scales, in order to balance life’s responsibilities we too must sway and constantly adjust.

In truth, though,
Life’s not about balance or battles
Life is about adaptability
Perspectives
And learning from the trials
[Wayhome Tarot – The Hanged Man]
I see the struggle and strife and trials I have gone through, as well as those things I will go through in the future, as learning experiences. They have allowed me to see things differently, and changed my perspectives over time. Whether it is the chronic, constant pain or being the victim of a crime, there is a benefit and a lesson to each experience if I am open to seeking it out and taking that new, different perspective in. Every different perspective I find changes me in some small way, opening me up to something new and giving me more… more understanding… more empathy… and more knowledge with which to navigate the world and relate to those within it.

CHALLENGE HOSTED BY TAROTHOLICS ON DISCORD

 

My Struggle With Balance and Moderation

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There was no meditation today, although I will make an effort to do it when I lie down tonight to go to bed.

Today’s draw is from a new deck, as I try to switch the deck out once a month (more if I’m just not getting what I need out of it, such as I did last month).  This month’s deck is starting with a newer deck in my collection, the Stolen Child Tarot by Monica L Knighton.   I do not have the guidebook for this deck (as it hasn’t been finished yet), so all my interpretations of the artwork are just that, completely my own, as I have no input from the artist about their work to share at this time.

I would like to share the “theme” of the deck with you, though.   It is based after a poem by William Butler Yeats called “The Stolen Child“.

Come away, Oh human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can understand.

Ok…. so onward to the draw for today.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Flame, which traditionally is a representation of transitioning cycles, regeneration, endings and renewals in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passions.

In the picture for this card, you see a leopard boy looking very grown up, quite stern, and in control.  The leopard body is in repose while the human is erect and strong, a visage of a smaller cat aflame in the corner.

Intuitively speaking, this card speaks of control and strength of will, and that is the message that I draw from this card.   My inner beast is one that is often preoccupied with wants and needs in the form of pleasure pursuits and expressions of my creativity.  When I let it free, it can forget about practicalities and responsibilities if allowed to do so.   Today’s draw is a reminder to seek balance, but not so much control that you torch that inner spark that finds life so much fun.

It is the message of moderation that we spoke about earlier today, and you know just how much difficulty I have with moderation…. no matter if it is moderating that controlling workaholic self, or the fun and creative side.  Either way, this is something that I struggle with quite a bit, and so it’s not surprising that it is a recurring theme in my self care spreads and daily draws.   It helps that I incorporate a lot of my creative energies into my work, but yet that balance is still a struggle.

Today’s card is a reminder of the need for that, though, and an encouragement to keep at it.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

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SCS

Week five of accountability.  This is definitely working out for me, and I will continue it past the end of August.  Today, I would not have gotten my journaling done on this spread at all without the accountability of needing to post it here.  I’m well aware of that and that the reason I did it is because it needed to get put up here on the blog.

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Body – Four of Candles – Now is a time to focus on the progress made.  Do not let what is predictably a slow two weeks each year drag you down.  Celebrate how far you’ve come instead.

Mind – Five of Tomes – Don’t let worries and anxieties about finances and stability overrun me and blind me to options and methods that are there to assist when needed.

Emotions – Explorer of Bells – As the Five of Tomes speaks of keeping the mind open to possibilities and options, this one speaks of keeping oneself open to lessons of the “heart”.  Do not close yourself off, just make good choices.

Inner Spark – Nine of Bells – Do not let the cacophony of self doubt over the next week stunt your progress, no matter how distracting it may be.

Moving Away From – Subdrop… and thank god for that.  The feeling of being swallowed whole bhy the drop will soon pass.

Heading Toward – Self doubt and overly critical thinking directed at the self, especially in relation to my business and finances.

Moral of the Story – Relax and Breathe… It’s going to be okay.

Untitled-1Side note on last week’s Self Care Saturday:

You see this card from last week?  You see that devil there, invisible but on the leash?   I know what that is now.

That is the motherf’king subdrop… walking so nicely beside me, hidden but there. But it’s not on a leash at all. Just when I thought I had it under control, it jumped up and bit me on the ass.

Just sayin’.

Decks Used: Numinous Tarot, Dixit Quest Expansion Pack #2