tarot in daily life

Hyunta… Yeah, You Heard Me

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and one of the harp strings meditations.  I had a bit of a problem getting still and staying that way.  I’m not sure why I was all fidgety today, but I just really struggled with staying still.  Not just in meditation either, but through my card drawing time, as well as the first hour or so once I finally sat down at the computer.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances and resources, home life, health, and manifestations.

This card screams hyunta to me. You’ve worked hard and  finally gotten what you so dearly have strive for and wanted, and now you’re stuck wondering… That was it? Is this it?  That’s all?  It’s a blend of both satisfaction, and keen disappointment.  (Actually, the term originates from that post masturbation glow of having stroked one out and achieved your pleasure but then being on the other side of it you find yourself feeling like something’s missing…. but the sense of accomplishment and disappointment is very similar.)

The message here in this card for today is that goals are something to aim for, but not something to kill yourself over as you try to get hit them. Because once you get there, then you have nowhere further to go.

This is why it is so often said that life is about the journey, and not a destination.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm myself?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary:  It’s self limiting (Eight of Swords) to my ability to get a fresh start in going after my dreams (Page of Wands), taking control out of my hands  so that I lose my way (The Chariot) along life’s path (The World).

Take Away:  Devaluing my needs creates a cycle of destruction that is directed at my autonomy. It influences both my ability to see clearly and make good decisions concerning the direction I want to go in, as well as my ability to actually control my trajectory as a whole on my life’s path. 

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Weed Out / Replace With

Tabula Mundi in Minima TarotWeed Out – Six of Cups Rx – I need to let go of my fear that continuing in the path of allowing myself to have more rest and less burden is going to fuck up everything I’ve worked towards.  This fear is irrational and is not based in reality, yet my fear of shifting away from that mentality of being overburdened equals accomplishment and getting things done is holding me back from fully embracing my new path.

Replace With – Princess of Disks Rx – Continue to work at embracing a releasing of “industry”.  It’s okay to take some time for yourself, and it’s okay to enjoy that time.  Own your ability to relax and acknowledge that the world isn’t going to fall apart if you’re a bit selfish with your time and attention by directing it towards the self and self care rather than the business or the greater good.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What am I asked to create for myself starting this week?

Big Things In Small Packages Tarot

Reading Summary:  Get your shit together (Nine of Cups) and put your thinking hat on (The High Priestess) so that you can seize the reigns (The Chariot) and get moving at going after that new vision of the same dream (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The new vision of the same dream mentioned here is about my business, and about how I have been trying to restructure how I do things so that I’m not so overwhelmed and overburdened all the time. In order to accomplish this new version of the same dream, though, there’s still some work that needs to be done.  Especially as we now head toward the end of summer and slip into the time to prep for the holiday rush.

This prepping process requires planning, but it also requires a lot of doing… and it’s that dynamic that needs to be picked up and run with this week.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is working for me right now?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: Taking things slow (Eight of Wands Rx) and letting my new emotional growth (Ace of Cups) have the time and space it needs to reconcile with my past and find the value in what has happened in my history (Ten of Swords).

Side Note: This is really interesting imagery for the Eight of Wands.  I understand the representation in the imagery, though.  The fact that sometimes?  Things just move too fast.

Take Away:  Although I fully accept the experiences I have been through, the new emotional depth I’m experiencing due to the growth I’ve been exploring this spring and summer has needed a bit of a reconciliation with those experiences. Because I closed all of these emotions off during those events in my past, I did not really emotionally process these things.  I understand that and the cards indicating that this process is both healthy and ongoing.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Morning Bonus Read – New Season, New Focus

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Welcome to Fall! (At least, according to some). This week, ask your divination tools about how you should be preparing for the Dark Half of the year, which starts at the next Sabbat.”

Pipmen Playing Cards

In what area of my life should I be preparing for rest?
Five of Diamonds

I am currently bereft of the physical supplies I need to make it through the holiday rush that will soon enough be upon me.  Now is the time to resolve this issue and start the long and tedious process of restocking those supplies that I can make ahead of time and have ready for the orders that will begin rolling in once we say goodbye to the harvest season.  For me, harvesting for the winter months is all about getting those things ready that I can stock up on prior to getting to that time of year where  being too busy keeps me from being able to up otherwise.

If I do not have these things in place in time, I will have no time to rest at all once the winter months arrive.   By getting these things ready now I open up my future self to a modicum of rest in the future that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to have.

In what area of my life should I be preparing to keep working?
Four of Spades, Five of Hearts

If I want to keep working, I need to respect the fact that I have to rest as well.  Not just in the future, but in the now.  It’s all well and good to get a jump on the stuff that needs to be prepped for the rush to come.  But it’s also necessary to take time for myself and allow myself the rest I need.  Overworking now will set me up for failure later when I need all the extra oomph and energy I can get.

This is the time of the year to start foraging. Where should I look in my life for an unexpected harvest?
Ace of Diamonds

This is about going through my supplies room and getting things put away.  I have more of the supplies that I need than I realize.  I’ve been slacking off on putting everything away in its proper place, and as a result I’ve lost track of stock on a few things.  The Ace of Diamonds in response to this question tells me I need to make sure I don’t order more until I’ve made sure that I need to.

DECK USED: PIPMEN PLAYING CARD

Conquering Pessimism

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Today’s meditation was forgone for sleep.  A lot of sleep.  Like… way more sleep than I usually get or need.  Between pulling an all nighter last night and then sleeping away a good part of the day… and then taking a nap later in the evening that slept away a lot more of my day, I didn’t have a lot of time for much else and meditation did not make the list when weighed against food, pulling my daily cards, and spending some time with you before sleep once again took over. So… no meditation today and I’m not even going to try and fool myself into thinking I’m going to try at bed time because I’m tired and it’s not going to happen.

The ChariotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, which is traditionally interpreted as being all about controlled progress and triumph.  When I say “controlled progress” I mean that it is not about just control or just progress, but about the combination of both.  It’s about moving forward with your hands firmly on the reigns.

That said, what stands out to me in this card is the position of the Fae on the back of the pegasus.  Arms outstretched, head thrown back, to me this card speaks more about the triumph aspect of The Chariot than it does about the strength of one’s control or willpower along the path.

I see abandon here and the “Fuck YES!” of exultation.

The message in today’s card is to turn my attention to my accomplishments and take pride in those things.  Too often I find myself focused on my failings and struggles, but the truth is that I have just as many accomplishments as I do failings, and just as many things I do well and excel at as I do struggles.  It’s time to take a bit more control of my pessimism and negative self talk by turning my focus in a more positive direction.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What role does guilt play in my struggle to create and enforce boundaries?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary:  Theft of what doesn’t belong to me (Seven of Swords) leading to others feeling without what they want or need (Page of Swords Rx) and turning to me with judging eyes (Six of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Sometimes when I create and enforce the needed boundaries that are healthy for me, I feel like I’m stealing away time or space that belongs to someone else, leaving them feeling bereft which I then worry will turn into judgement directed my way.  So really, the influence here is twofold.  It’s about the guilt of taking from someone else, and the insecurity of having their feelings about that turn people against me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to work through my frustrations at this time?

MonstarotReading Summary:  Delve into my creative curiosity (Page of Cups) and allow it to carry me away (The Star) rather than focusing on only (Eight of Swords) the negative aspects and pessimistic views of what I don’t have or that isn’t working (Five of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It’s okay to have a little bit of pessimism, but not when it blinds you to all the good stuff and holds you back from connecting with your imagination and creative spirit. The thing is that pessimism is like a parasite.  The longer it’s allowed to survive and thrive, the more it grows, until it permeates your life and influences everything within it, creating blinders as it goes, so that the longer it thrives the narrower your view becomes.   Escaping that grip takes conscious choices and determination to embrace the more positive and lighthearted aspects of life.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Earth, how can I further support my personal well-being?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary:  The balancing of your obligations and responsibilities (Two of Coins) requires the help of others (Three of Coins).  Be the boss rather than the slave (The Emperor).

Take Away:  This is all about taking charge and delegating.  Don’t just allow things to build and pile up, delegate some responsibility to others to make sure that you aren’t left doing everything yourself.  It’s your nature to take on all the weight, but it’s not all yours to bear.  Take charge and show how you want things done, how you want them to go, and then hand over the task to others to complete for you.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be more grateful?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary:You need to look at uncertainty (The Moon) from a different perspective (The Hanged Man) that involves you in a place of balanced security (Four of Wands).

Take Away: So a lot of times when I (or anyone really) looks at their insecurities and uncertainties, instead of looking at them from “the outside” in a place of safety, we try to look at these things from inside the chaos and uncertainty.   This then tinges our perspectives.   If you can take a moment to pause, and step outside of the situation, it’s often much easier to see what’s going on more clearly.   This clarity allows for you to not just understand what’s going on, but identify the good and be grateful for it.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Abandonment vs With Abandon

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Today’s meditation was curtailed a bit short, as the girls came home from the store and needed help putting things away. Apparently as much as they love Costco, they are not really prepared for the weight of putting away bulk items on their own. It was fine, though.  I’ll fit in another meditation before bed tonight.

Update (as I’m finishing this post next-day):  I didn’t get a bed-time meditation in because I ended up pulling an all-nighter to make sure that I got all the order ready before bed.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of emotional withdrawal, rejection, or abandonment of something or someone due to a sense of disappointment or need to get away.

This card actually gives me a whole new perspective on the Eight of Cups than I’ve ever actually considered before.   Usually, when I see the Eight of Cups, it is about abandonment. It is about walking away from something. But I never considered that this walking away from something could be a walking away from constraints or restraints.

And yet, when you embrace abandon, that is exactly what you do.  You set aside those things that would drag you down or hold you back, and move forward unrestrained to embrace the freedom of having shed those restricting elements.  So in essence, this card shows not just the “shedding” that the Eight of Cups so often represents, but also the result of that shedding.

Abandoning my constraints and restraints for a better, more healthy way of managing my responsibilities is something that I have been working on a lot this year. Today’s card is a reminder of the fact I’ve promised myself some days off each month.  Days off that are just for me.   I work seven days a week (okay, so it’s supposed to be six, but lets be honest here, even on Saturday, I still work… I just do very low maintenance and low stress stuff).  It’s nearly time for another one of those breaks, and the card today is a reminder that that time is coming… and that it’s okay to look forward to it without guilt.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: Why do I struggle with putting myself first?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: Because I worry about losing (Three of Heart) all that I have gained (Nine of Pentacles), and so instead I indulge in my addictions (The Devil) which then leads to uncertainty (The Moon) as a repercussions (Justice).

Take Away:  I’m being called out. This is about misdirection. I don’t put myself first in one area because I fear backsliding, instead I end up misdirecting that self care into a less healthy area that has the potential to create problems and, surprise surprise… causes backsliding.   If I put myself first in healthy ways instead, it is also possible I’d backslide, but without all of the uncertainty and mess that doing so in an unhealthy way causes.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Where Are You Content / Where Are You Frustrated

Luminous Void TarotWhere Am I Content?: For a while when the protests and riots started at the beginning of June, I had a lot of restlessness going on.  A lot of discomfort in the fact that I felt like… I was dropping the ball with my community by keeping my distance.  Over the past two months, I’ve done a lot of self-educating, though, that seems to have helped allay that feeling. I no longer feel powerless or up in arms so much as I feel I have learned and am learning… which for me feels far more powerful than anything else I could possibly do.

Where Am I Frustrated?:  Communication with my mother has become fucking torture. I do very much ache for a new start with her… and yet feel defeated because I know a new start won’t change anything, just restart the same old path we are already on.  This repeating cycle is because I want something more… and she is unwilling (or perhaps unable) to give it.  And so a new start would provide nothing for me.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: What part of me would benefit from nurturing at this time?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary:  My faith in the universe (The World) and my passionate drive for the things I love (Knight of Wands) will be a nurturing balm for my fears of losing (Three of Swords) all that I have achieved (Ten of Pentacles).

Both The World and the Knight of Wands facing inward implies that they are a force to be applied to the central topic (center cards). The World on left represents looking at the past to see how everything always works out in the end. The Knight of Wands on right is in the position to lead me forward into the future, speaking of using my passions as my guide.

Take Away: You know that fear mentioned earlier about losing all I’ve gained? Here it is again. The cards here indicate that I need to nurture those feelings it by applying my faith in the universe to them, and allowing my burning enthusiasm for what I do to continue to be my guide. 

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is important right now?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: It’s nothing you can’t handle, no matter which way you choose to go with it (The World), but you need to be aware (The High Priestess) that you are procrastinating (Knight of Wands) and there will be consequences for that (Justice).

Take Away:  This… is true.  And reassuring.  I am aware that I am procrastinating on some things, especially in relation to the business and starting my preparations for the holiday rush.  The reassuring part, though, is in The World card.  There is a reassurance there that no matter what happens, it’ll be okay…. things always sort themselves out in the wash.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Thundercats – Ho! *cracking up*

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and spent doing spinal alignment work with a bolster and a couple or rubber balls.  I was going to do a meditation separately afterward, but it turned out that I needed the focus and breathing exercises that the meditation provided just to keep muscles relaxed and pliant during the process. This really goes without saying that my back hurts like a bitch today, and my hips too since I spent my meditation doing spinal work instead of my regular piriformis stretching.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is Lion-O from Thundercats.  *Cracking up.*  Just kidding.  Although, this guy on the card definitely reminds me of that character.

Okay so… anyway.  Today’s draw is The Fool card, which is traditionally a representation of youthful exuberance, new beginnings, naivety and innocence.

What stood out to me the strongest when I first saw this card this morning (aside from the uncanny resemblance to Thundercat’s Lion-O) is the Great Glyph of the Sidhe is carved into the Fool’s chest.

As a child I used to use this glyph as the basis for my circle casting, and as my sister lit candles for the elements, I would spin and spin and spin through the center, trailing my toe along the ground to create the spiral moving ever outward and finishing off with the dividing line during the lighting of the candles for Diana and Faunus.

This symbol, like none other, reminds me of my childhood. Of magic circles and bonding rituals between myself and my sister. Of romps in the woods and hours spent among moss and lichen, cedars and ferns. The message in today’s card is to remember that youthful fun, remember the freedom and allow the joyful innocence of those times to rise up within me and swirl through my life within the here and now.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I feel like I’m struggling to see clearly.
Question: How can I begin building more trust in myself and my lived experience?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Own what you’ve done and experienced in life (Queen of Wands), and don’t allow yourself to hide behind addictions (The Devil). Instead, take the brave steps forward in learning from your experiences (Knave of Swords).

Take Away:  One of my most destructive (and most prominent) bad habits is my urge to retreat into myself and away from others when I’m feeling vulnerable.  In doing this, I also close myself off to myself, boxing up those small and vulnerable parts so that they whither and starve.  This is not trusting in myself and my experience… it is picking myself apart into pieces and making those fragments “deal with it” on their own.

I am in the process of learning a new way, and I need to stay mindful during these vulnerable times to reach not for my past habits… but for my new and healthier methods instead.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Are you more of a dreamer or a believer?

Tarot of the Dream EnchantressReading Summary: I am a grounded (Knight of Pentacles) dreamer (Page of Wands) that is open to possibilities (Ace of Cups).

Although I am a very motivated and grounded person as shown in the fact that the central card in this reading is in the pentacles suit, the Page of Wands and Ace of Cups bracketing this grounded energy speak of the fact that I am prone to flights of fancy and allowing my creative flow to take the reigns.

Take Away:  Regardless of my need for stability, I am open to a vast array of possibilities that go beyond the known world.  For me, seeing is not believing… feeling is.  And I am willing to follow those feelings wherever they lead as long as they feel right and entertain my inner spark’s interest.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I fully embrace the abundance meant for me?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: The world is at my fingertips (The World), all I need to do is pick a direction (Two of Wands) and allow my inner spark and drive for manifestation to carry me forward (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It doesn’t tell me what that abundance is exactly, but the answer to embracing it is simply in accepting that it’s there for me.  In doing that, I give myself permission to go for it, and begin the journey of moving in the direction to claim it for my own.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  What do I need to change?

Hilda Tarot

Reading Summary: Be more generous (Ten of Pentacles) with my capriciousness and frivolity (The Fool) instead of letting my self-perceived shortcomings keep me down (The Devil Rx).

Take Away:  This is yet another encouragement to have more fun.  Don’t allow my negative inner narrative and addictive impulses to keep me pinned down or tangled up.  Set myself free to be open with my sense of fun instead of keeping it to myself. It’s okay to look silly sometimes… it’s okay to have fun.   I seem to need this reminder a lot lately, and the cards are definitely following through on making sure I hear the message again and again.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Weekly Creativity Prompt – Random Eight

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Shuffle your deck of choice, then pull out every ninth card.
Of the eight cards now sitting in front of you, which card do you relate to most strongly and why?
Of the seven cards now left sitting in front of you, which card do you relate to the least and why?
Extra Credit: There are now six cards left. Assign a real person in your life, a fictional character, a movie, a book, or a song to each of these six cards and then tell us why you made the choice you did for each.

IMG_5588

Part 1 (most relate to) –Ten of Swords – I am a survivor. I survived my father’s tyrannic rule.  I survived the accident that decimated the right side of my body and made it impossible for me to go through an MRI machine. I’ve survived sexual assault, betrayals, car accidents, impalement, a home invasion and near death experience, life-long chronic pain, ongoing physiotherapy, testicular cancer, and melanoma.

I have survived through years of suicidal obsession and urges, multiple major depressive episodes, and just this past year I survived a stalker that tried to kidnap me out of a Costco parking lot.  I have survived dropping out of university a mere three months before earning my degree, the crushing disappointment of discovering my mother is not the person (or mother) I thought she was, a metabolism that is determined to eat me alive, and the loss of loved ones.

I have survived, and learned from, all of these things and more. Each of these things was more than just a painful experience. Each experience brought me to my knees and made me bleed either from my body or my soul… and yet I have continued on.  The Nine of Swords connects me to these experiences, and my survival from them… as well as the fact that I continue to thrive not just despite them, but also because of what they taught me along the way.

Part 2 (least relate to) – Eight of Wands – I’m not getting anywhere fast these days, it seems.  In fact, life in general as well as the cards seem determined to teach me to slow down and take my time more often.  This is not something that is easy for me to do… and I struggle with it even at the best of times. 

Extra Credit:

Two of Wands – She makes lists.  Going on a camping trip?  She’s got a list.  A shopping trip?  She’s got a list. Need ideas for what to do next weekend?  She has a list for that too. If you need to get organized?  She is the one to go to.  She’ll help you make a list, and explain how to use it too.  There’s power in lists and she knows it well, and she wields that power with impunity.

Seven of Cups – A woman that sees outside the box, if you need ideas, she’s the one to go through.  Not that she’ll give you the answers, but sit and talk with her a while and you’ll soon find that your narrow view of what’s possible will begin to open up.  Options appear where none had been, just in the span of spending time in her presence.  Suddenly, the diversity of what’s possible is breathtaking and you wonder how you ever felt your options were so limited.

Five of Swords – He’s one of those guys that always has to have the last word in any situation. It makes him feel like he’s won, and that feeling is something he lives for. Whether it’s a debate or a disagreement, or even a physical fight, rest assured his voice will be the last one that sounds, and what he says will be sharp edged but probably not entirely unwarranted.

The Chariot – Single minded and determined, he plows forward with his eye on the prize. He knows what he wants out of life and he knows how to get it, he has both hands on the reigns and full control over the direction of his life.  Goals for this man?  They aren’t possibilities… they are already his reality as if he needs only to reach out and pluck them out of the air and they’ll be his.

The Tower – She’s spent her life catastrophizing every little thing. Nothing catastrophic has ever happened to her, and yet… to her even a splinter is just that.  The end of the world.  Her life is in chaos, her world in upheaval… and this is how she lives.  Each and ever day is one horrible thing, one disastrous event after another and she is unable to see beyond the cacophony to anything positive in any of it.  She’s trapped in this place… and refuses to try and escape.

Judgement – He lies in a hospital bed and waits for his family to arrive and surround him.  He has things to say, and apologies to make.  Weathered, with aching joints and years of hard work wrought in wrinkles upon his face… he’s had plenty of time to consider all that he’s done and all that he failed to do.  It’s time to make things right, before it’s too late to do so.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT TAROT