tarot for self care

Morning Bonus Read – Shadow Dossier

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Use the mini-deity dossier to communicate with your shadow self for some shadow work.”

Golden Deer Casino Playing Cards - Cartomancy

Spirit – Jack of Clubs – Been through a lot but eager to try, your shadow self isn’t ready to give up yet and is excited to be getting some attention after being ignored for so long.

Personality – Queen of Clubs – Supportive of your endeavors, helpful in sparking inspiration, and desires to be involved in the process. They may not know the way but they’re happy to be your cheerleader and will be with you along the way.

Abilities – King of Diamonds – Again we see a supportive energy here with a heavily grounded foundation.  They encourage you in creating that stability you crave and are, in fact, the inspiration for that craving.

Traits – Three of Spades – All that grounding takes a tole and so does the fact that they’ve been pushed aside for so long.  Because of this, there’s a lot of negativity there that bleeds out when you’re feeling down, tainting the water and polluting the optimism you are trying so hard to foster in your life.

Omens and Signs to Look For – Seven of Diamonds – Progress takes time, but there are moments along the way when if you pause and really look, you can see their touch in your growth. Their fingerprints smudged upon the glass.

Manifestation – Five of Diamonds – In the past, your shadow self has had to fight to manifest in your life.  This process was always a struggle and took a lot of energy to accomplish, leaving you feeling drained as a result because you were resisting and forcing them back down and away.

Appearance – Ace of Spades –  They are looking for a new and better way to communicate with you.  With the old habits of shoving them away left behind, it’s time to find a better way to connect and thus a different way for them to make an appearance in your life going forward.

What They Want From You – Nine of Spades – They want you to help them with their worries and fears, anxieties and troubles.  Your shadow self holds on to a lot of these things and it needs help to release them, confront them, or process them in a healthy way so that they will no longer be a problem.

Things to Know – Six of Diamonds – They want to get better and be better, even if they don’t act like it sometimes.  It can be hard to move on to better things when sometimes it means leaving shit behind in the process that you’ve been clinging to for so long.   It’s the same for them as it is for you.

Things to Avoid – Nine of Hearts – Don’t get so cocky in feeling things are good that you forget about them.  It’s okay, of course, to fee good.  Just don’t leave them behind and alone in the process.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN DEER CASINO PLAYING CARDS

Hesitation and Procrastination

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was another valiant effort without much success on the meditation front.  I laid down twice to try and meditate and both times phone calls forced me to break off after only a minute or two in.  The first time I got pulled in to work.  The second time was my mother.

Floriography Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptations, addictions, and the quandary that we get ourselves in when we go “too deep” into something we (at least initially in some way) enjoy.

Are you holding back because something you want in life is unhealthy for you? Or are you holding back because you’re scared? When we hesitate… what is the motivation behind that restraint?

If there’s something that you want, and you evaluate whether it’s healthy for you or not, and whether or not you can handle the “addiction factor”. If you evaluate all these things and you find that it’s safe to move forward anyway, even if it’s unconventional or something just for you… Then why not? Why are you hesitant?

We often tell ourselves that the things we want have to wait because it’s “not the right time”. We put off happiness enjoy in order to focus on goals and responsibilities. But as the Flower Fortune card says… “If not now, then when?”

The message in today’s cards is about looking before you leap… and then leaping once you’ve looked.  It’s time to examine why you’re hesitating.

DECK USED:  FLORIOGRAPHY TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 21st & 22nd

Blood Moon TarotWhat role does love play in my life?
The Empress and The Hermit

Love is nurturing and supportive, even in times when you’re sinking into solitude. It’s always there. Even when you’re not reaching out for it.  It’s unconditional and patient.

These things make love a reassurance, and a refuge whether you are with those people that love you or not.

How can I better enhance love in my life?
The Fool, Three of Honey, Strength

Be more “free” and unrestrained with those closest to you with whom life is a collaboration. Together you are stronger than apart.

DECK USED:  BLOOD MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: In what ways are you unhappy with who you are now?

Floriography TarotReading Summary: I want to be more comfortable with my emotions (Queen of Cups), and I want to feel like I’m not sacrificing control in that process (Emperor). As it is now, I am feeling uninspired and out of control in my creative endeavors, restless and ready to restructure (Ace of Wands atop The Tower).

Take Away: As my COTD indicated for today, I am hesitating in taking the leaps needed to get things on track both with my inspiration and my creativity.  I just… feel like I’m not rested enough?  Even coming out of having had a week off, I still feel like I’m wrung out and don’t have the energy to do the work involved right now.

On top of that, is the fact that in my emotional growth I’m in a place where emotions still feel completely unstable and unpredictable. I’m not someone that enjoys instability and so it’s a struggle for me to allow for that fluidity in something that can have such a strong influence on my perceptions and my life.

DECK USED:  FLORIOGRAPHY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Orange Ceamcicle ice cream and Cheetos Puffs.  Need I say more?

Don’t Squeeze Too Tightly

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped.  I did actually try to meditate, laid down and put myself into position for the stretches, got the meditation timer going, the whole deal.  But I couldn’t sit still.  So I struggled with it for about five or six minutes then gave up and went to go get myself some food.

Conference of the Birds Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of stability, conservation, scarcity issues, control, jealousy (not to be confused with envy), and miserly behavior.

The bird stands on the coin demanding it remain where it is, it’s theirs and they don’t want it taken away.  Sometimes when we get too focused on holding on to what we have, we forget to stay open and receptive to what others have to say. We essentially “close ranks” and become overly controlling.

The problem with this behavior is that it closes us off from others.  Communication becomes limited.  When communicating with others, yes, as the Flower Fortune card says today, “the most important thing with communication is to listen to what isn’t being said”.  But there’s no way to hear what isn’t being said if there’s no communication at all.

The message in today’s cards today is that no matter how important something is or how possessive you feel about it, you need to make sure you don’t become so territorial and guard it so jealously that you shut others out and close yourself off.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Start of Gemini – How can I more effectively communicate and express myself this season?

White Numen TarotReading Summary: The opinion of others (Six of Wands) is fickle (Wheel of Fortune), so don’t look in that direction. Instead focus on your own perceptions of yourself and not being too hard on yourself (Judgement).

Take Away: The advice here is about making sure that you aren’t allowing your worry about what others might think to silence you or cause you to adjust how you say what lands on your tongue.  Just be yourself and be true to who you are and what you want from yourself and your path, everything else will fall into place on its own.  Public opinion is too unpredictable to base…. well, pretty much anything on, and that includes the value of your own words and communication.

DECK USED:  WHITE NUMEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in life do you need to “step up” and do better?

Conference of the Birds TarotReading Summary: Taking action to further your desires and dreams (Knight of Cups). Dive deeper (The Hanged Man) and enlist others in the cause (Three of Cups).

Note: These cards all depict water fowl, and this is not a water fowl deck… it’s a bird deck. This means that the Cups theme carries over into all of the cards in the reading and intertwines them together as one.

Take Away:  Sometimes, a journey taken alone ends up no journey at all.  Where I need to step up and do better is in making sure that I’m allowing others in and enlisting their help in furthering my dreams and desires.

The issue here is in  how I view enlisting their help, and I need to look for a better perspective on this so that it’s something that cam become more natural and less forced.  With their help, I can then go further and do more, and realize the dreams that right now are hovering just out of reach.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I switched Gideon and I from play to IMs when I started feeling lost and vulnerable instead of trying to “tough it out” and keep playing.

Morning Bonus Read – Reconnect With Your Soul

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Ink Stained Tarot - Reconnecting With Your Soul Tarot Reading

Card to describe my soul.

Nine of Cups – Satiated and comfortable.  Happy.  Content in a solitary state.  Not especially social and more than content to enjoy things on your own without a lot of friends or interaction with others.  Maybe a bit greedy about that happiness in that you don’t particularly want to share it with others at this time but instead enjoy it at your own pace on your own terms.

How I can quiet my thoughts.

Two of Swords – If you would be more decisive when things are bothering you instead of letting them niggle around in your head,  you would have far fewer thoughts running around in your head to pester you all the time.  There is a difference between pausing to get more information, and hesitating because you don’t want to make a decision.

How I can better trust my intuition.

Nine of Wands – Sometimes you stand in your own damned way and it’s not helpful in the least. This ties into the advice above.  You teach that intuition is the instant whisper that comes first, and thought comes after to mess it all up and create uncertainty.  Stop allowing time for thought to hop in and have a say.  Make the decision when the whisper comes and use thought to strategize instead of allowing it to cast doubt.

Why I should speak my truth.

Eight of Swords – It is only through truth both to ourselves and to others that our eyes can be opened to the world around us and we can move through life sure-footed.  There are too many illusions and obstacles to trip over when you are not honest with yourself and others. Life is hard enough without adding more struggles to the journey.

Something about myself I need to accept.

Strength – You are stronger than you think you are. It isn’t just your body that is strong and resilient, but your inner core as well. This strength shows in how others relate to you. You are not as inept at social graces as you feel that you are.

Something about myself I need to embrace.

Page of Cups – Your creative spark is always going to be there. Yes, the mundane business crap still has to be done, but don’t sink yourself so deep into that stuff that you lose the joy that comes with exploring your creativity and taking it in new directions.

How I can be the best version of myself.

The Hierophant – Share. Share yourself. Share your experiences. Help others see what it’s like to choose your own path and forge your own way. Encourage them to do the same. It is when you are helping others find their unique path that you feel the most centered and happy.

A message from the soul.

The World – Keep going.  Keep moving forward.  Keep striving to be better and do better. Life is a journey and it isn’t the end you need to put all your focus on. Instead, focus more on the steps along the path that gets you there.

DECK USED:  INK STAINED TAROT

Earning Wishes

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_1571Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and was one of the Calm app guided meditations with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches.  I’m actually a bit surprised I managed to do the meditation today since I slept when I got home from the farm today. The girls gave me a bit of space, though and it was nice.

The focus of today’s meditation was about taking a pause when in the middle of reacting to something so that you can react in a better, calmer, more focused manner rather than just lashing out or popping off.  The method in teaching to focus on the pause was to pay attention to that moment of pause between one’s inhales and exhales.  That moment when one turns to the other.   It reminded me of how I calm when I am crying and it has gotten out of control.

Although this type of emotional outburst is extremely rare (I think the last time was when Meanie died), it has happened.  When it happens and I’m worked up and breathing hard and bawling, I calm my self by hitching in a breath and holding it.  Letting the stillness of the silent lack of air to create a pause.  Done repeatedly, it can help immensely in bringing things back under control. This is apparently something I have done since I was a toddler.

Heroine Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Page of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, communication, and instincts.

Creative thinking and the expansion of one’s consciousness and intellect is the theme of the Page of Swords.  Here in this imagery we see the classic figure holding a sword, but without the experience and confidence (and attire, in this case) to wield it efficiently.  She has much to learn yet, and the opportunity before her to learn it.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states “Your wish will come true”, what we see here is a message that when you put your focus on learning what you need to learn and expanding in the direction you want to go in, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.   Sometimes that means you need more education, or more experience, or need to explore things more in depth to find the path to those wishes and goals… but where there’s a will there’s a way.  As long as you’re willing to put in the work to learn, to expand, and even fail and try again… you will eventually succeed.

DECK USED:  THE HEROINE TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 19th & 20th

Love and Mystery TarotWhat role does admiration play in my life?
The Moon, The World, Eight of Pentacles

In this life, admiration often feels like a form of reassurance that things are headed in the right direction and your skills are continuing to improve.  Anything you put your effort into, it is through the admiration of others that we discover sometimes just how big a feat what we’ve learned and accomplished actually is.  It’s easy to discount our progress when left without that external input to help us realize how far we’ve come, and in turn sometimes encourage us to keep going.

How can I better enhance admiration in my life?
Three of Cups, Six of Swords, Ace of Wands

In order to enhance admiration in your life, it’s important to continue to share your work with others.  Sometimes it is only through their eyes that you can see your own progress.  Keep trying out new things and pursuing new interests and passions, for it is only through this pursuit of new methods and ideas, and the exploration of new techniques and concepts, that we can continue to grow and advance in our skills and abilities.

DECK USED:  LOVE AND MYSTERY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Can achieving nothing make a person happy?

Heroine TarotReading Summary: Content and comfortable (Four of Wands), but there are no happy memories to look back on (Six of Cups Rx) and there is no hope looking forward (The Star Rx).

Take Away: The answer laid out within these cards is a “No”.

Although people can be content and comfortable without achievement, without a past filled with memories to look back upon and enjoy, or a future filled with hopes and dreams to look forward to, there can be no joy and thus no true happiness.

DECK USED:  THE HEROINE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I had a good sleep after getting home from the farm today.  I also dismantled my (very rusted) barbecue on the balcony and got rid of it.  After the power washing of the exterior of the building (including my balcony) next month, I’ll go shopping for a new one to replace it.  I want to get something a bit smaller next time.

Openness and Grace

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped because I got distracted by fresh baked chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven. I’m not entirely sure why they were being made in the morning, but… well… cookies are cookies and who doesn’t love still-warm cookies?

Shapeshifter Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

Here in this card we see the Goddess of Water, her posture open and the swan there in the shift of shape, an echo behind her so close to the surface as lilies and cherry blossoms surround her and float float in the water.

The imagery depicts grace and openness. Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states that “If you have something good in your life, don’t let it go!” what I see here isn’t about things at all, but about people.

Sometimes things happen in life that cause us to forget to be grateful for the people in our lives we should appreciate. We become irritated with them, or bored with them, or just so over exposed to them that you need some space.  The key is to make sure that even in these moments we remember just how good they are for us… and just how valuable they are to us.  Closing ourselves off and pushing them away isn’t a solution.  Next thing you know, they could be gone for good.

A better option is staying open and accepting that sometimes? Even those we love the most are going to irritate us.  Let them know how much you care for them, be open with them and let them know how grateful you are for them… and let them know you need a little breathing room.  By opening up, you keep these people in your life instead of pushing them away (possibly permanently) with your need for a bit of space.

DECK USED:  SHAPESHIFTER TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Questions for May 16th through 19th

Spirit Speak TarotWhat change is coming?
Eight of Swords atop Eight of Cups

A change in perspective and opening of eyes pertaining to something that has been frustrating you. Although unpleasant and at times uncomfortable, it will allow you to move on from a feeling of being stuck.

How will this change affect me?
The Lovers atop Four of Swords Rx

There will be a sense of restlessness and discomfort related to your self care needs that will need to be overcome through making sure you make healthy choices for myself. Gideon’s watchful eye is there to help in keeping those self care practices going, even when you struggle.

As you move through this change you need to make sure room in your life stays open for self care. Don’t fill up that space with other tasks and responsibilities.

What new challenges will I face?
Six of Cups Rx

This upcoming change will bring up some unpleasant memories and might require working through. You may find that doing some light shadow work pertaining to your childhood and upbringing will help.

What will I possibly become as a result of all of this?
King of Wands and Three of Pentacles

Stronger in your business and purpose, and better able to delegate tasks and responsibilities so that the work load is more evenly distributed. That work towards a healthy balance is a long and multi-legged journey, but this holds the potential of being a step in the right direction toward that goal.

DECK USED:  SPIRIT SPEAK TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you improve upon your self-care at this time?

Shapeshifter TarotReading Summary: Expressive openness while welcoming others to share with you in turn (Goddess of Water).  Supportive strength (God of Earth) as you find direction for yourself and help others do the same for themselves as well (Two of Wands).

Take Away: To improve upon your self care, you need to remember that in order to connect with others, give support, and provide for them the guidance to help them find their own unique path, you also need to be open to them emotionally and creatively.

Being approachable is important.  Not just for that connection with others, but for yourself.  You may not be the most suave when it comes to social matters, but you still need a certain amount of social interaction, as well as the opportunity to help others with their personal journey and self actualization, to be healthy and happy.

DECK USED:  SHAPESHIFTER TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

We had a hard rain here earlier today and I spent some time out on my balcony enjoying the cold drops on my skin and soaking my hair and through my clothes, just enjoying the sounds and scents and feeling of it for a bit.